Contrition (The Perception Trilogy)

by Strauss, Lee

  I pointed at it. “Did that hurt?”

  His fingers tapped his right temple. “This? A little.”

  “A little?” It was more than a simple contact lens. The procedure involved implanting a series of nanobots in the optic nerve system and throughout the brain.

  “Okay, a lot. But that’s what painkillers are for.”

  A curvy humanoid with a short skirt and a dull smile arrived with our drinks, and I blew on mine. I noticed a group of girls at a nearby table staring at Linden and giggling. I rolled my eyes.

  “Those girls over there seem interested in you. I can leave if you want.” I could take transit, or even walk. This café wasn’t that far from my house.

  “Why would I want that?”

  “Well, for one, they seem to want to hang out with you.”

  “Ouch.” He laughed. “Well, I don’t want to hang with them. They’re just like all the rest. Blonde, blue-eyed, long-legged, GAP girls with too much money and too much time on their hands.”

  “I’m a blonde, blue-eyed, long-legged, GAP girl with too much money and too much time on my hands.”

  “Yes, true, but you’re interesting. I’m attracted to more than just beauty.”

  I felt a blush form at his blatant praise and hid behind my coffee mug taking a long sip. Then I focused back on Linden and his weird-looking eye. “Why’d you do the enhancement?”

  “Why not? It’s cool, and it’s a huge asset to be constantly wired to weblink. If I want to know something, I just think it and bam, I know.”

  “What do you want to know now?”

  He squinted. “I want to know what happened to you.”

  “I’m sure you already know everything via your built-in weblink.”

  He cocked a brow. “I only know what the weblink knows.”

  I had secrets I really hoped no one could access, and I was curious about just how much he’d found out. “And what would that be?”

  Linden sipped his coffee and set his cup down. “You were born GAP to GAP parents, had one GAP older brother who sadly passed away under mysterious circumstances. Your grandfather is a famous scientist who founded the gene technology for the extension of human life…”

  Co-founded. Noah Brody’s grandfather was the often un-credited other half of that discovery.

  “… and is now president of the United States. You ran away with a natural for unexplained reasons—a form of rebellion, perhaps? Forbidden love?”

  He paused and watched my reaction. I tried to keep a blank face, but my eye twitched.

  “Ah, so the natural meant something to you.” He stroked his chin, and I felt like kicking him in the shins. I was tempted to get up and leave, but I needed to hear what else he knew.

  He continued. “And you returned from your great adventure—time spent in Utah, Reno, St. Louis and in the desert outside Tucson near the volcanic peaks that blew—six months ago in such bad physical shape that you needed a cyborg heart transplant.”

  So, he knew a lot. I narrowed my eyes. “You didn’t get that last bit off the weblink, right?”

  Linden grinned sheepishly. “No, your friend Jackson mentioned it.”

  “He’s not my friend.”

  He blinked, and his gaze moved to something behind me. “Ah, well, speak of the devil.”

  I looked over my shoulder and saw Jackson strolling toward us, his hands deep in the pockets of his chinos. He stopped at the empty table beside us, caught my eye and nodded, then took a seat. With the way he was watching me last night across the fire pit, I figured he’d seen me leave with Linden. The fact that he “happened” to walk into the same coffee shop was disconcerting.

  His eyes cut to Linden. “Hey.”

  “Hey, Jackson,” Linden responded.

  Jackson looked back at me. “Hi, Zoe.”

  Why’d he have to show up now? I had more questions for Linden and I couldn’t ask them with Jackson hovering around. I ignored him and took another long sip of my coffee.

  The menu screen rose in front of Jackson and he ordered like I hadn’t just snubbed him.

  “I’m done with my coffee,” I said to Linden. “I’m ready to go.”

  “Stay for awhile,” Jackson appealed. “We haven’t chatted in a long time.”

  I almost laughed out loud. “You’re joking, right?”

  “No, I’m serious.”

  “Yeah, me, too.” I stood and pointed at him. “Stop following me around or I might just shoot you in the other leg.”

  I stared back at Linden. “You said you’d take me home the minute I asked.” I hung my purse over my shoulder. “Nevermind. I can walk.”

  I was off the deck and passing the pod parking area when Linden caught up to me. “Hey, I said I’d drive you.” He maneuvered himself in front of me, guiding me toward his pod where he opened the passenger door. I reluctantly got in and crossed my arms tightly over my chest.

  “Wow, there were some major negative vibes going on between you two.” Linden started the pod and gave it instructions to return to my house. “I’d heard you guys went out for a few years. It must’ve ended badly.”

  I snorted. “You have no idea.”

  “Did you really shoot him in the leg?”

  I nodded. Jackson had wiped my memories, but I remembered doing that. Noah and I were hiding out at an off-grid campsite. Jackson had found us as a result of nanotrackers in my bloodstream and had almost choked Noah to death before I’d shot him.

  I glanced over at Linden.“You didn’t find that on the weblink?”

  Linden shook his head and chuckled. He winked at me. “I knew there was a reason I liked you.”

  Chapter 43

  Linden dropped me off with a promise to call again, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I would never love Linden, (my heart was ruined for that), but I supposed I could like him. He was several notches above Jackson in my view, which counted for something. Still, I couldn’t help being suspicious. Did he really like me because I was “different and interesting,” or was it because of my connection to the president and the wealthiest, most powerful company in the country?

  I slowed as I walked inside, deliberating what I would do now. From what I could see, a lot of GAPs were suffering from boredom, especially since so many humanoids were now doing our jobs. In theory, they were supposed to free us up to do the things we “love,” but what if you happened to love your job? Or would’ve loved a job that was no longer available to you?

  I found Alison lying by the pool, drinking something bubbly and reading on her glass tablet. I claimed the lounge chair beside her and reclined, telling the shader to move into place over my head. I wore cotton shorts and a blouse, but the breeze off the ocean blew in, keeping things cool.

  “Dad says you went out with Linden Anderton.” She smiled at me hopefully. It was her new goal in life to get me into an acceptable GAP relationship. “He seems like a nice boy.”

  “Yeah,” I had to admit, “he’s cool.”

  “Are you going to see him again?” Alison’s eyes were soft as she watched me. She’d changed since my return. Made a pointed effort to be a proper mother, asking me questions, actually listening to my answers. It wouldn’t hurt me to meet her half way.

  “I’m not sure,” I responded. “He wants to. I might.”

  Bette was cleaning the BBQ. It saw me and waved. I hesitated, but then waved back. It might just be a machine, but I didn’t need to be rude. In fact, all the humanoids were nothing but pleasant to me, and I had to keep reminding myself that they weren’t human. It was weird, but I felt a growing attachment and I had to rope in my feelings. It would be like growing fond of the vacuum cleaner or the oven.

  Bette stood and walked over with convincingly human strides. It stood straight at the foot of my lounger, dressed in a black skirt with a white blouse and apron. Its short brown hair was tucked behind its ears. “Would you like anything to eat or drink?”

  My stomach woke up at the mention of food. “Yes. I’d l
ike a spinach salad with blueberries and goat’s cheese, a slice of banana bread with butter and a ginger ale.”

  Bette nodded and went back to cleaning the BBQ. How strange. Maybe the humanoid was defective?

  “I was thinking about going out on the yacht later,” Alison said. “Would you like to come?”

  “Sure.” Why not? My eyes darted back to Bette, and I started to feel annoyed. I wanted my lunch. I supposed it wouldn’t kill me to go to the kitchen and ask Anne myself.

  Just as I was about to shift off my lounger, Anne walked through the open patio doors with a tray in hand. It smiled when it delivered my food to me. “I hope you like it,” it said.

  I was astounded. Everything I’d asked Bette for was on the tray, but I knew for a fact that Bette hadn’t left the poolside. Had they communicated with each other from separate rooms? Was Paul aware that they were doing this now?

  “Oh, that looks good,” Alison said. “Would you mind bringing me the same, Anne?”

  I munched on my greens and gobbled down the banana bread. One thing I never ate? Anything from a can. My mind drifted to the desert cave, where I’d regularly eaten cold beans straight from the can. I’d devoured them at the time because I was starving, but now the thought of beans of any kind made me gag.

  Noah was there, of course, in my recollection. He was always there. I stirred the embers of anger I felt and held my hands over the emotional fire. I had to keep my bitterness stoked. Noah was no good for me. He’d left me. I hated him.

  Alison removed her sunglasses and stared at me. “Are you okay?”

  I broke out of my reverie. “Mom, I know you don’t like to talk about this, but I need to ask you something.” I used the last bit of leverage I had to gain the information I wanted. “I can’t move on… with Linden… until I do.”

  She sighed. “You don’t need to ask. I know what you want to know. Please don’t be angry with me. You’re my daughter. I love you, and I had to do what I thought was best.”

  My blood felt thick and murky with dread. “What’d you do?”

  “I offered him money to leave you alone. He took it.”

  I stiffened and spoke through tight lips. “I don’t believe it.”

  Alison sighed again and tapped her ComRing. “Here’s my bank statement from six months ago. You’ll see that a transfer to Noah Brody for fifty thousand dollars was accepted.”

  I stared at the holographic image with disbelief. The Noah I knew couldn’t be bought. I examined the statement until I was assured it was authentic.

  “Did you threaten him?” It was the only explanation.

  She blinked. “With what?”

  Anne arrived with Alison’s lunch, and she looked appreciative for the interruption. “He left you for money. Doesn’t that say enough?” She stuffed her mouth with a piece of banana bread and closed her eyes. The discussion was over.

  I rested my head back and took deep, long breaths, wrestling against the dark tunnel of pain I’d walked into. Noah had taken Alison’s money and broken contact with me. What compelled him to do so wasn’t the point. The point was that he’d done it. And as much as it hurt and angered me, I had to accept his decision and move on. I just wasn’t sure how I was going to accomplish that.

  I pinched my eyes closed and thought about Linden. I pictured his handsome face and his mischievous grin. I recalled his tenacious pursuit of me over the last couple of days. He could come in handy, even if it was just to keep me from thinking about all the things, the person, I wanted to forget.

  A strong wind blew in suddenly, blowing Alison’s sun hat off her head. “I’ll get it,” I said. I sprang out of my chair and chased after it, catching it just before it landed in the pool. I delivered it back to Alison. “Sailing might not be a good idea, Mom. It looks rough out there.”

  “I think you’re right. Can we go tomorrow instead?”

  I nodded gratefully. The last thing I felt like doing now was spending the afternoon alone with Alison.

  Charlotte came over instead, and we watched movies on my digiwall like we were still twelve year-olds. By nightfall, I sighed with relief. I’d made it through another day.

  All ready for bed, I began my nightly habit of signing on to Noah’s blog. My chest tightened and my palms grew damp. I was crazy, I knew it, but I had to have my fix. I needed a little Noah Brody to get through the night, so I could awake and start a new day devoted to forgetting him.

  I read the post with growing consternation. It wasn’t Noah writing this time. It was “A.” My guess was that A was Anthony. My blood chilled as I read to the end:

  A neighboring rebel camp was attacked by cyborg soldiers, and we sent a large number of our own to assist in the battle. The hostilities are believed to be sanctioned by Vanderveen’s government. Fatalities on both sides, but as of yet, no word as to how many and who.

  Sadly, I predict this is just the beginning. Our nation has been divided so thoroughly that civil war cannot be stopped.

  Chapter 44

  It took forever for me to fall asleep, even with my digiwall on waterfall mode. Turned out that Anthony’s prediction went viral overnight. By morning, everyone in Sol City was talking about the attack at Bledsoe and debating the hard line the government was taking. I disagreed with my grandfather’s policies, that was a given, and my stomach tightened at the thought of our country being thrown into war.

  I already had a worry lump the size of a grapefruit in my gut over Noah. What if he was one of the fatalities? I squeezed my eyes together as a small groan worked its way up my belly.

  Charlotte buzzed me on my ComRing “Have you heard?”

  “Who hasn’t?”

  “It’s just so insane.” She ran a hand through her sleek blond hair. “Selena and I are going to the beach, want to come?”

  I was stunned by the sharp turn in the conversation. Beaching wasn’t really on the list of things I felt like doing, but staying home alone to stew would be worse. “Okay. Where?”

  “Vanderveen Park.”

  I met them there an hour later and sat on the sand beside Charlotte. Linden was there, along with Jackson and Isabella. I shouldn’t have been surprised. They were all deep into the debate.

  “GAPs live in a cocoon,” Linden said. That was an opinion we shared. “We watch the news about what’s happening on the outside, but it barely registers. To us, it’s like a bad, ongoing movie.”

  “Vanderveen has to take a hard stand against the rebels,” Jackson said in return. “They’re nothing more than criminals.” His eyes met mine. “Present company not included.”

  I huffed and picked pebbles out from between my toes.

  “Yeah, but they’ve been fairly harmless until now,” Charlotte countered. “Throwing words about on some dumb blog isn’t a crime. It’s called freedom of speech.”

  I bristled at Charlotte calling Noah’s blog dumb, but I didn’t think it was worth commenting.

  “He didn’t design cyborg tech so we could kill each other,” Jackson insisted. “His intention was to provide homeland security against threats outside our borders.”

  “Like who?” I challenged.

  He focused on my face. “China, Russia, and some Arab countries are developing cyborg tech and artificial intelligence. We have to keep up or we’re putting ourselves at risk. We can’t be the weakest ones playing in the sandbox.”

  Linden shook his head. “I don’t agree. Premature aggression on this government’s part is causing the nation to use guns against each other instead of words. Do we really want to see Americans fight each other? Our weapons systems are too advanced. We’d implode. Cause our own annihilation.”

  “We all agree that this can’t end well,” I said. “So, the question is, is there anything that can be done to stop it?”

  A quiet settled over the group until the crash of waves onto the shore sounded deafening.

  I wrapped my arms around my bare knees and shivered. “I gather that means no.”

  Linden
patted the log, beckoning me to sit beside him. The sand was making my butt cold, so I moved onto the log but kept a good six inches between us. He leaned over and spoke quietly. “How are you?”

  “Outside of knowing that we’re on the brink of self-destruction, I’m fine. How about you?”

  “I’m better now that you’re here.”

  I shrugged and whispered back, “I don’t get it. I’m not exactly making things easy for you. Why don’t you give up on me?”

  “I’m not a quitter. And I like a challenge.”

  “Ah, Charlotte mentioned this. So I’m what? A puzzle? Prey? A project?”

  “None of those things. You’re a girl who’s been through a really difficult time. It makes you thoughtful and deep. I’m tired of superficial.” He bumped my shoulder with his. “And I’d like to get to know you. I want to make you smile.”

  I kept a straight face. “You really are up for a challenge.”

  I let Linden walk me home. He told me about his family and what the GAP community in Seattle was like. I didn’t say much. I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone about my life, especially someone I’d only met a few days ago.

  The moon was out and the seagulls squawked. The waves gurgled onto the shore. I had to admit that it was romantic, and when Linden clasped my hand I didn’t pull it away. Maybe I was lonely. Maybe I was angry. Maybe I was just nuts, but when he stopped and lowered his head to kiss me, I let him.

  I closed my eyes and tried to pretend that I didn’t know what it felt like to be utterly broken hearted. That there was half a chance that I could be happy again. I felt Linden’s lips move against mine, but all I could see was Noah’s face.

  It wasn’t fair. I pulled away.

  “Too soon?” he said.

  I wrapped my arms around myself. “I think so.”

  “Well, thanks for trying. I promise to slow down, okay? Just don’t push me away.”