“In years?” She shifted on the bed and lowered her feet to the floor, showcasing her long legs.
“Aye.”
Her mouth opened, but a knock on the door had her gasping.
“Adam!” It was Conor.
She jumped out of bed and frowned. I tried not to laugh as I shooed her with my hand toward the bathroom.
“Coming, mate!” I waited until Anna was safely gone before I started for the door and opened it. My erection was also gone, thank God.
“We’re hungry!” Conor grinned.
What the hell time was it? “Of course. I’m starving, too.”
Conor peeked over my shoulder, and I wondered what was going on in that head of his. I crossed my arms, just then remembering that I hadn’t put a shirt on. “What?”
Conor smiled again. “Nothing. See you and Anna at breakfast.” He tore down the hall, and I waited until he was gone before I shut the door.
I heard running water and tapped at the bathroom door. “Anna?”
She opened the door, standing there with her long hair swept up in a messy bun on top of her head and a toothbrush in her mouth. Her skin was glowing, and her green eyes sparkled. Her sculpted, tan legs seemed like they were made to be wrapped around my hips.
“Adam?” She was holding her toothbrush in her hand now, staring at me. “You okay?”
I held a fist in front of my mouth and faked a cough. “Yeah. The kids are ready to eat.”
“Okay. I guess I can wait to shower until after we ride—just let me get dressed.”
“Yes, please. I’d hate for those hormonal boys to see you walking out there like that.”
She shook her head at me and laughed. “Ha ha.” She waved her toothbrush at me. “Get out of here, then, so I can get ready.”
The woman was killing me. “Just an FYI,” I said as a smile met my lips, “I might not be a hormonal teen, but I’m still a man.” I took a step closer to her, and she instinctively moved back until her bottom ran up against the counter.
Her arm dropped, and she rolled her tongue over her teeth as I pressed a hand to the counter near her hip. She looked up at me and bit her lip. I was going to lose my mind. I wasn’t sure if I could hold back much longer. But then John’s words—his warning—pushed into my mind.
I took a step back and shoved my hands into the pockets of my sweats, lowering my head but keeping my eyes on hers. “I don’t think this only being friends thing is going to work out for me,” I admitted.
“Wha–what do you mean?” She swallowed.
“But I’m bad for you, Anna, try to remember that. As much as I want you—and it’s a fucking lot—don’t let me have you.” I turned away from her before she could respond, unwilling to see the look in her eyes.
I shut the bathroom door and leaned against the wall, covering my face with my hands. Then the sound of the bathroom door opening put a hitch in my breath. I looked over my shoulder to find Anna standing there, her tan chest rising and falling as she breathed. “No,” she said through gritted teeth.
I pushed away from the wall and faced her.
“Stop acting like you’re bad for me. Like there’s something wrong with you.” My eyes were drawn to her hands, which fisted at her sides. “We can’t be together, you’re right. But don’t give me this crap about it being because of you. Because I’m innocent, and that makes you what—evil?” She shook her head, and her shoulders shuddered as the words moved from her lips. “I don’t buy it.” She took a step closer. “I don’t buy it. Do you hear me?” Her voice cracked, and I wondered if she’d cry. “You’re amazing. Sweet and funny.” Her hands opened, palms up. “Caring and kind. So, no, I don’t buy what you’re trying to sell me. If you don’t want me because—”
In one step I closed the gap between us and swung my arm around her hip. I pulled her against me as my mouth lowered to meet hers. I fisted a handful of her hair, tipping her head up gently to deepen the kiss.
I couldn’t get enough of her. Her tongue slipped into my mouth, and I lost control. I stepped forward too fast, needing her more than I needed air, more than I needed anything. Our lips broke free as she stumbled back against the wall. I pressed a hand to her shoulder and kissed her again as she caressed my naked chest, her fingers blazing trails of fire over my skin.
Her hand went to the waistband of my pants, but I grabbed hold of her wrist, knowing we couldn’t do this right now. Not in this room.
I stopped kissing her and lowered my forehead to the top of hers, resting it there as I tried to catch my breath.
“We should get dressed. The kids are waiting.”
She started to turn, and I could see the disappointment in her eyes. I reached back for her, stopping her. “Tonight, Anna. Tonight.” I was a fecking idiot but damned if I’d let her get away.
She looked up at me, wetting her lips, and I had to remind myself once again where we were.
“If you change your mind I won’t blame you because I’m not lying when I tell you I’m no good.” She had to know what she was getting herself into. She needed to understand that I was a lost feckin’ cause.
Her fingers over my heart held me still. “I guess that’ll be for me to decide,” she whispered.
***
The kids were in heaven. After two hours of intense lessons they were out on a trail, all on their horses, trailing one after the other down the path.
Anna was on horseback ahead of me. I’d been having trouble focusing on anything other than her in her brown leather cowboy boots the last few hours. She’d assumed a teaching position alongside the two owners, adding information about the breed of horses, and so forth. It was nice seeing her in her element.
Her horse was galloping, and Anna’s long hair flowed back, catching in the sunlight like strands of gold. “Anna,” I called, attempting to catch up with her as I gently tapped at the sides of the horse with my boots, urging the horse to pick up speed.
Anna tugged at the reins a little, slowing down. She glanced over her shoulder at me, shooting me a wide smile.
The horse beneath me slowed next to her, maintaining her pace. “You’re amazing.”
“And apparently you’re one of those annoying people who are good at everything!”
Ha. I was doing my best to act like I knew what the hell I was doing, but I’d much rather be riding a motorcycle. Being on the back of something alive—something with a mind of its own—made me nervous. And I wasn’t used to being nervous.
She tipped her left shoulder up and rolled her eyes at me. “Can you sing, too?”
“No. Not even a little.”
“I don’t know if I believe you.”
“You’ll have to take my word for it because it’s something you’ll never be invited to judge for yourself.”
“You don’t even sing in the shower?”
“Not even there.”
Although she could judge me in the shower all she liked.
“Hm.” She chuckled and looked forward at the path as the kids trotted ahead of us. The trail was tucked into the woods, shaded from the light and a little cooler than the open field. “You cold?” Her thin jean jacket probably wasn’t giving her much warmth. When would the woman learn to check the weather?
“Don’t even think about being chivalrous again.”
“God forbid,” I teased.
We rounded a bend on the path that moved us back out into the sun. “What’s your favorite part about riding? You like the speed, don’t you? Admit it. When the horse runs—you love it, right?”
“Are you kidding, love? If this horse starts running, I might have a damn heart attack,” I admitted, decidedly not caring if this made me any less macho. To hell with macho.
She gasped. Maybe she thought I was joking. But I liked being in control and, right now, this horse could assume control at any minute. I was far from joking.
“What do you love about riding?” I asked.
A smile teased her lips, which distracted me from the beast
beneath me. “I love going fast and having the wind in my hair, of course. But honestly, it’s so much more than that. I have a connection with my horse, Java. She’s the only one who knows all my secrets.” She winked, but I could tell she wasn’t really joking.
“This is great. Thank you, Adam. I needed this. It’s nice to know I can have a taste of Kentucky in Ireland.”
I realized I was becoming mesmerized by this woman as she told me a few more reasons she loved riding. She could talk about kitchen appliances and make it sound interesting to me. Of course, it was the passion in her eyes and the sound of her voice that captivated me. The way she felt about horses was how I felt about fighting. Too bad my passion was fecked up.
“Adam!” It took me a second to recognize Jenna’s voice. She began to scream.
Jenna’s horse was up on its hind legs, startled by something.
“Jenna!” I yelled as her horse came back to all fours but launched into a full run.
One of the owners snapped into motion, prepared to go after Jenna, but I needed to do something, too. My ankles tapped at the sides of the horse, motioning to go faster.
“I’ve got this, Adam,” Anna called, pulling ahead of me.
“Come on!” I tried to catch up as the massive animal beneath me pounded hard, but still trailed behind Anna.
Anna was now at Jenna’s side, riding fast to stay abreast of Jenna’s horse. I couldn’t get quite close enough to make out what she was doing, but somehow she was calming the horse down. I was incredibly impressed and relieved.
Anna reached for the reins of Jenna’s horse and began to slow down.
When I approached them, Jenna was already standing, shaking a little. “You okay?” I jumped off my horse and came to her. The rest of the group had gathered around, including Marie and her husband.
“That was wild, Anna! You’re like a real cowgirl!” Chloe exclaimed from atop her horse.
“My horse got spooked about something,” Jenna said through chattering teeth.
“Sorry, my dear,” the owner said.
“I’m okay. Thanks to Anna.”
Anna blushed. “It was no big deal.”
“Thank you,” I told Anna as we started back for the stables, my heart still a bit wedged in my throat.
“Of course.” Her lips slanted into a shy smile then she trotted ahead, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her back as she moved.
“That was savage!” Conor came up to us and clapped his hands together once we were at the stables. “Can we come back again next year?”
“You’re not afraid after what happened?” Anna, now on her feet, came around next to Conor and Jenna.
“No way. Are you, Jenna?” Conor turned toward Jenna, who still looked a little shocked.
“I absolutely want to come back.” Jenna winked at me.
“Well, then, I think we can make this a regular trip.” I got down off the horse and patted her dark brown mane.
“Can you watch the kids at lunch while I grab a shower?” Anna asked me a minute later while waving a hand in front of her chest. “I smell horrible.”
“I think you smell pretty damn good,” I couldn’t help but respond.
“Well, compared to you, I guess so.” A beautiful smile graced her face, one that met her stunning green eyes.
“Don’t encourage me, love. I might try and join you in the shower.”
She flicked her wrist in the air. “Empty threats.” She wet her lips and squinted her eyes at me, playfully accusatory. “I have a personal shield of eight kids here.”
“And later?” I lowered my voice. “Do you want a shield from me tonight?” Jesus, I was growing hard just thinking about it.
She took a step closer to me and tipped her chin up, her eyes claiming me to the darkest parts of my soul. “I guess you’ll have to wait and see, Mr. McGregor.”
Eighteen
Anna
“What’s it like?”
I looked at Chloe who was sitting to my left on the train. “What’s what like?”
She pulled on the strands of her long, dirty blonde hair and tucked her chin down to her chest. I knew that shy, insecure look. I’d been that girl before.
“Well, I mean, what’s it like to be so pretty? I bet all the guys love you. I see the way Adam looks at you.”
Adam was a few rows up from us, and the young guys were huddled around him, watching a live sports match on his smartphone. I dragged my gaze back to Chloe. “Adam doesn’t—”
Chloe snorted. “I may be a kid, but I’m not dumb. He’s got it bad for you.”
My face heated. “Anyways.” I rubbed my cheek as I thought about what to say. “If anyone should know how it feels, it’s you. You’re funny, smart, and very beautiful.” I didn’t want her to think the only reason why a man would like someone is because of looks . . . As much as I was guilty for being drawn to Adam’s extreme sexiness, I was more taken aback by what was inside of him, at least the parts he let me see. His smile. His laugh. His humor. His compassion.
But Chloe was shaking her head at me. Her hazel eyes flashed to her lap. “I’m not beautiful. And I’m not funny. No guy has ever even tried to kiss me.”
“Good!” I hadn’t meant to shout that. “You are too young for guys to be kissing you, sweetie. And, trust me, you don’t need to be worried about that.” I thought about what else to say, looking out the window as the rumble of the train and the soft vibrations beneath our seats lulled my mind. “And I’ll tell you a secret.” I leaned in close to her ear. “Guys might be afraid to ask you out because they’re afraid that you’ll reject them. They’re intimidated by you.”
Her head snapped up, her brows slanting down as she studied me. “I doubt that.”
“You know, I didn’t have a real boyfriend until college.”
“What? No way. You’re lying.”
I held my hands up, showing her my palms. “True story.”
“No guy was good enough for you, huh?” She smiled.
“Sure, I wanted a boyfriend. But it never worked out for me. Plus, I had other things I cared more about, like horses.”
I didn’t say what I thought—that I wished I had refrained from dating during college, as well. I thought about Jax. How did he get my new number? And why was he at it again? I was sure he’d finally given up.
“Hm. Maybe I need to find something I care about.”
I was really in no position to be giving advice, but I also didn’t want Chloe developing any insecurities because of the opposite sex. I knew how it felt firsthand to feel lower than low because of a man. “Maybe,” I said softly as I looked up, my eyes meeting Adam’s as I did.
Adam was still holding on to his phone while the boys watched it, but he was watching me instead of the game. I wanted Adam, but did that mean I should have casual sex with him? Was I capable of separating emotion from sex?
Adam was looking away from me now and back at his phone. There was a tightness in the muscles in his face, now, and his shoulders were pushed back, less relaxed.
“Anna?” I looked back at Chloe.
“Yeah?”
“Ma’s not really around, so it’s nice having someone like you I can talk to.” She exhaled a deep breath, and I wasn’t sure what to say now. “I really hope you don’t leave Ireland.” With that, she jumped up and darted toward the other three girls who were sitting at the front of the train car.
I rubbed my hands over my face, my heart breaking for her. Was it wrong of me to volunteer at the center, to drop into their lives for only a few months? The twangs of guilt pulled at my nerves like guitar strings being twisted too tight. I was close to snapping.
***
“I guess you’ve given up on being seen with me in public?” Adam asked outside my hotel room door. He tucked his hands into his jeans pockets and cocked his head to the right, his eyes narrowing on me.
“Maybe I was being a little paranoid.” Or maybe not? “Do you wanna come in for a drink?”
“Y
ou sure that’s what you want?”
“Well, technically, you did foot the bill for the room. Besides, it’s a drink, not a commitment to marriage.”
He laughed. “Good to know.”
I swiped my card and pushed the door open, my hand steady.
I dropped my bag next to the door and went over to the minibar. I still hadn’t touched the thing. “Beer?” I turned around, finding Adam still in front of the door, his bag at his side.
“I’m not all that thirsty.”
“Oh.” I clutched the unopened can of beer tight between my palms.
He moved my way and stopped in front of me, the air electric between us. He reached for the can, setting it on the counter next to me. His thumb touched my lips, gliding across them like a wave of fire. “Tell me to leave, Anna.” Despite his words, his hand swept to my cheek, his eyes locking with mine. “Please, tell me.”
“If you want to leave, you need to make that call.” I placed my hand over his, holding it to my cheek, and his chest shifted up as he sucked in a deep breath.
“You know I can’t.”
“Then you should never have walked through that door.” Regardless of my concern about work and what people would think, I was more worried about coming all the way to Ireland to find a man like him, only to shrink away in a corner because of my fear. I wanted my fresh start.
Adam’s hand pushed past mine to cradle the back of my neck. “You’re amazing, Anna.”
I took a step closer, my chest touching him, and I tipped my chin up so his eyes could claim mine, to own me at that moment. It was a look so honest I felt naked before him. For once, Adam could see the real me. The me I’d lost my last year in Kentucky.
“I’m going to kiss you now, Anna.”
My chest constricted as his lips came down, hovering an inch above mine. I swallowed, the anticipation killing me.
When our lips finally met, my hands swooped up and around to his back, holding on as his tongue slipped into my mouth.
What started slow and soft soon turned into something almost uncontrollably ferocious. A need like I’d never experienced pulled at me from every direction as Adam deepened the kiss, taking me into his arms.
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