by Guy Lilburne
There was a squatter type toilet, of which I have seen once before in Abu Dhabi but never had the courage to try and use, and there was a drainage hole in the middle of the floor to let the water escape after having a shower. You did this by using the ladle to pour water over yourself. Oh and the bathroom door didn’t close properly. Upstairs was a big wooden room used as a bit of a storage room for clothes and other old household items. There were two mattresses on the floor where Fon and her brother Phong, who I’d yet to meet, slept.
Gecko lizards crept around the walls and were ignored except by me. In England if you want to see a lizard you have to go to the zoo but here in Thailand, they move into your house and live with you. I was shocked with the obvious poverty in which Jee’s sister and her family lived.
The house appeared gloomy and depressing to me. It was a big culture shock and I felt my mood dipping. I didn’t really know what to do with myself but at least Jee was there. She was more pretty then she had appeared on the internet and she smiled a lot. She kept making sure that I was alright and getting me ice cold drinks of Cola. Jee’s English was a lot better then my Thai, but it was not as fluent as I had imagined it was going to be, and as a result communication was difficult at times. I looked at the family photos and Jee told me about her sisters family. As I had guessed Sak was a mechanic. Her sister Pon made clothes to sell and also took in laundry.
Fon at fourteen years old was still at school, but when she was at home she sold iced drinks from the wooden stall outside the front of the house at the roadside. Phong, her older brother, was nineteen years old and he worked in the city but I couldn’t understand as what.
Outside the front of the house in between Fon’s ice drink stall and the house was a little round concrete table inlayed with a chess board and two curved concrete benches. This is where I spent most of my time, although it was in the blazing heat of the sun it was more comfortable for me then sitting on the floor, and besides I could watch all the people coming and going to the shops on the other side of the road and as I was to witness, people never stopped coming and going all day and all night. I was amazed at how busy it was for a village this size. There was a real feel of community here and everyone seemed to know everyone else and they chatted a lot. I imagined that this is what it must have been like in England a long time ago before we all stopped talking to each other. The time people refer to as ‘ the good old days’, when ‘you could leave your door open and nobody would come in’. Well in this part of Thailand people still did leave their doors open and as I was to discover people never stopped coming in.
I enjoyed talking with Jee and her family, although Sak never said a word. One of the things that made us all laugh was me speaking Thai. I didn’t know much, but if I said anything in Thai they all laughed and repeated it back to me, and they did it at the same time like a chorus. I think they must have thought it sounded funny coming from a Farang, or maybe I was just saying things wrong, but even the easiest of words or phrases like ‘khob khun khrap’ (thank you), they would laugh and repeat it back to me, all giggling away which in turn made me laugh. As I was talking to Jee I said,
“Khun suay mak khrap.” (You are very beautiful.)
Pon and Fon giggled as usual and repeated it back. I found it hilarious but maybe you had to be there. Anyway, I was making friends with them and already I knew that I liked them and I was hoping that they liked me too. I had thought that I was going to have all this time to get to know Jee but now I was resigned to the fact that
I was going to have to get to know all her family as well. I didn’t know if this was a good thing at this very initial stage in our potential relationship.
After an hour Jee said that we are going to the market to buy some food and once again we all piled into the pick up truck. I never realised how much I would grow to love air conditioning in a car, it was simply wonderful. We drove for about fifteen minutes to the next town and stopped at a open air market. It wasn’t a particularly big market but there were still lots of proper stalls with covers overhead and the market spilled out onto the street right up to the roads edge but the overspill was made up of ladies sitting on the ground with their wares laid out on rush mats in front of them. As with every market I had seen in Thailand, it was buzzing with life with buyers and vendors chatting and doing business. The smells of fresh and cooked foods and the sight of some of the most exotic fruits I’ve ever seen with amazing shapes, colours and sizes. I’m going to have to try all these things and find out more about them.
There are insects for sale either alive or already cooked. There are frogs, snails, eels and fish still thrashing around in trays of shallow water. Scrawny looking chickens plucked and prepared but with the giblets still inside, something I hadn’t known in England since I was a young boy in the 1960’s. There was carcasses of pork, beef and lamb that the sellers would skilfully chop up with a big cleaver into the cuts you wanted. When they were waiting for a sale they constantly but slowly fanned over the meat with plastic bags tied to bamboo sticks to deter the less determined flies from settling on the meat and doing whatever flies do on raw meat. I don’t know why I love the markets in Thailand so much but I do, maybe because they stimulate all your senses and here everyone does seem to smile and want to talk to you.
Lots of people were stopping Jee and saying nice things to her about her Farang boyfriend. I could see that it was making Jee happy that people seemed to like me. In England the supermarket and hypermarket had killed off our own proper markets years ago. In St Johns market in Stafford where I come from, there are only a few sad people like me clinging to the past who shop there and it a ghost of a market with only a few people ever shopping there. The isles are quiet and the atmosphere is sad and there are as many empty stall as occupied ones.
I liked walking around this market with Jee, Pon and Fon and every now and again Jee would grab my hand and pull me along and I really liked that too. We bought fish, meat and various vegetables. I paid for everything of course but everything was so cheap and I had a pocket full of Thai bank notes, a few 20’s but mostly big ones. I have never used a wallet in my life, but I felt a prat pulling out a wad of notes like this to pay the little amount that I did for the food. I didn’t want Jee, her family or the people in the market for that matter to think I was flashing my wealth.
I really wasn’t and I was embarrassed by it. Like with the shoes and socks I’m not prepared to be here. In England you never carry this amount of money around. I made a mental note, now my ‘must have’ list included plastic flip flops and a wallet. I’ve always thought that I’m quite sensitive to people’s feelings and how they perceive me to be, so these mistakes won’t be repeated, although I already know that I’m going to make many more new ones. Sometimes I think Thai people and Thai culture can be as confusing as it’s traffic. We also bought rice wrapped in bamboo leaves, little packets of biscuits and cans of Coke which Jee said were for the Monks.
When we got back to Pons house, Pon, Jee and Fon started preparing the food in the main room. Jee came back from the kitchen with a big ceramic pot and a big carving knife. She turned the pot upside down and used the base to sharpen the knife. From the grooves in the pot I could see that this had been the knife sharpener for a long time but I don’t know how effective it is. Jee was still struggling to cut through the meat and had to re sharpen the knife every few seconds, but I’m afraid the knife was as blunt as a blind mans nose.
Jee was a strong willed but quiet character, and although she was the younger sister by a long way I could tell that she was highly respected by her sister and her family. Jee was obviously better educated and she seemed to take care of everybody and take charge of things generally. I could see that she loved her family and that they were very important to her, but she said things in her quiet charming way and people just did as she suggested. I could understand now why it was her who was summoned to sort out any problems between Sak and Pon. There was no doubt who was the boss around here, but
a very nice boss with a pretty smile.
When the women disappeared into the kitchen to cook the food I suddenly had nothing to do again. Sak had changed his clothes and was squatting outside working on a motorbike, a cigarette hanging from his mouth. I sat on the concrete bench and watched him work and watched the passing people watching me.
During the hour before we had gone to the market, a few of the local village people had come to speak to Sak or Pon and have a look at the Farang. I had greeted them in Thai and wai’d them as they wai’d me on introduction and they looked thrilled.
Now we were back other people started to come. A lot of people. Suddenly I was being introduced to many people, including Saks two older brothers and their entire families. I couldn’t keep track of who was who, everyone seemed to be introduced as ‘sister husband brother son’ or ‘uncle brother sister’.
The food was being laid out on big mats on the floor. There was a lot of food, little wicker baskets of sticky rice, meat dishes, chicken dishes, soups, chilli vegetable dishes, fish dishes and a horrible smelling chilli fish dish that I couldn’t bring myself to try. There was fruit, ice and bottles of Cola. People just stayed and ate. More people came who were just from the village, the local shopkeepers and neighbours. Jee told me that all these people had just come to meet me. I felt very honoured and they made me feel very welcome. It was now even more funny when I said anything in Thai because there were even more people that laughed and instantly repeated it back. Lots of Fons young friends came to have a look at me and they giggled a lot.
Phong, Saks son, came home and made a bee line to come and wai me and say hello. He had a great face and a great smile like his little sister Fon and I liked him instantly. There was a party atmosphere, this was ‘Sanuk jing jing’. (Really fun). There were lots of younger children coming up and smiling and wai’ing and they looked so cute, they were just adorable. I didn’t know who they belonged to as now there were so many people coming and going. Some people stayed longer than others.
One of Saks older brothers spoke a little English and we chatted as best we could. He was a charming man and keen to make sure everyone was having a good time. The men started drinking beer so I walked to the shop next door and bought another case and a packet of cigarettes for me and one for Sak. I hadn’t had a cigarette all day and really fancied one now. Sak saw me walking back with the case of beers and in his hurried quick nervous way he came to meet me and carried the case. When he put it down at the house I gave him a packet of cigarettes and he wai’d me.
We sat outside with the men and smoked and drank beer. The chatter never stopped and there was much laughter, it was a shame that I couldn’t understand any of it, especially as I had no doubt that some of it was about me. We bonded as men do over beer and talking about whatever it was we were talking about. The daytime had become evening and it was dark. I kept stealing glances to look at Jee as she chatted excitedly with the other women. I think that she liked being the centre of attention but she always seemed to be returning my glances with her demure smile. I think we fancied each other. Although the men and women were in basically two groups it wasn’t exclusive and people kept crossing over from group to group, it was relaxed and informal.
The children ran around laughing and playing were adored by everyone. There wasn’t a single adult, young or old, who didn’t join in the play with them at some stage. The happiness and fun being generated in this house was palatable.
At one point I found myself sitting crossed legged in the house looking at the world atlas pinned to the wall. Sak came and sat next to me, up to that point the hadn’t spoken to me but I knew it was because we couldn’t speak each others language. I liked Sak a lot and I knew that he had started to like me. He pointed to Thailand on the map and said,
“Thailand.”
We both nodded in agreement. I pointed to England and said,
“England.“
Again we both nodded. Sak pointed again.
“USA.”
We agreed on that as well. I had a go at ‘China’, there was no doubt about it, we were friends now but this game was getting a bit boring. We couldn’t speak to each other but we had things in common now. We could admire each others global knowledge. There was some kind of bonding that had just taken place. We went back outside. Sak and I sat next to each other and drank more beer. I should mention that the beer is poured into glasses that are filled with ice and your glass is topped up with ice as much as it is topped up with beer so unfortunately the taste and the strength are diluted to almost nothing.
Jee came up to me and asked if I was ready to go to the hotel as she felt a little tired now and we had to get up early in the morning. I didn’t ask why we had to get up early or how early. I knew that it was the 13th April tomorrow and the Songkran festival started so I just assumed it had something to do with that.
I had experienced a lot of different emotions today and met a lot of new people, I had already had along day myself, so I was ready for bed.
Bed, I hadn’t given it much thought until now. I was going to be going to bed with Jee. I mean, I knew I would be of course but I had thought that it was just going to be Jee and me together all day. I had planned to get to know her all day. Maybe charm and seduce her all day but of course we hadn’t had a minute alone together. The only physical contact was in the market when she grabbed my hand if I was dragging behind a little too much. Now I had something else to worry about. I did like Jee. In fact I liked her a lot and she was very pretty but I didn’t really know her well enough to sleep with already. Well maybe sleeping was ok, but what about sex? Did she expect sex? Would she think that I didn’t like her if we didn’t?
What if she didn’t want to have sex and I was trying to jump all over her, that would be really bad. Maybe we should talk about it first, or maybe we shouldn’t, that might be bad manners in Thai culture. Sak drove us to the hotel and as usual Pon and Fon came along for the ride. Once in the room I realised that this was a different room than the one I had unpacked my case into, but all my things are unpacked here. I pointed this out to Jee who told me that she had asked the hotel to change our room because of the mosquitoes. Jee asked if I was going to have another shower. I did, it gave me more thinking time on the whole sex question.
Would I offend her if I didn’t or would I offend her if I did? I came out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around my waist and with more or less a speech worked out to address the issue with Jee, but before I could say anything she jumped up and walked into the bathroom clutching a handful of stuff and saying she was going for her shower. I decided that I would put on some clean boxers, although I usually sleep in the nude it might be embarrassing if I did that and Jee didn’t. I waited in bed for Jee dressed in my boxers. I could hardly believe how nervous this was making me. When Jee came out of the bathroom she was already dressed in her pyjamas of shorts and a top.
What a great decision to leave my boxers on. Before Jee got into bed she kneeled on it facing the pillow and started praying. She looked so cute, almost childlike, but at the same time beautiful and elegant in prayer. Then she took a piece of printed paper and read from that. When she finished she got into bed. I asked what she had prayed for.
“I pray for every animal darling.”
I wanted to kiss her. Something in the way she said it tugged at my heart. Obviously I didn’t know Jee as well as I wanted to yet but I was usually pretty good at judging peoples character and I knew that Jee was a good person with a big heart.
I had a good feeling about this whole internet dating gamble. Jee turned the bedside light off and snuggled up tightly into my body. I put my arm around her and cuddled her. It felt right, in fact it felt perfect, so there was no need to worry or do anymore than just hold each other, so that’s just what we did and drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 16. Songkran (13th)
It was 6:00 am when Jee woke me, very nicely with a kiss actually.
“Come darling you shower no
w, go house sister temple.”
I had a mosquito bite on my ankle and another on my shoulder and they were big, which made my skin raise up all around the bites. The one on my shoulder looked like a map of Europe and they itched like hell. After my shower Jee put some cream on them for me, it stopped the itching at least for the time being.
By 6:20 am we were outside the hotel being collected by Jee’s family. Fon had carried a hot cup of coffee from their house for me. It was a lovely thing for them to think of doing that and it was just what I needed. It became the normal practice and everyday when we came out of the hotel Sak, Pon and Fon, holding a coffee for me, were there to greet us. Sak had a big grin and we wai’d each other, he pulled at his shirt to show me it was the new one that I had bought him yesterday.
“Dee mak khrap,” (Very good.) he said.
“Khun raw khrap,” (You’re handsome.) I replied.
I think we were both happy to see each other again, a friendship had been forged. Today the back of the pick up was loaded with the food we had bought for the monks along with a lot of fruit.
At 6:30 am we arrived at the temple near her sister’s home and the place was packed. I think everyone from the village must have been there. If they had a church service in England at this time it would be empty, actually at anytime really. Inside on a stage there were about twenty or thirty monks of all ages from young boys to old men. They all sat quiet and serenely in saffron coloured robes. There is something I like about Buddhism and temples but I don’t quite know what it is yet. As soon as we walked into the place, all eyes were on me, and a whispered buzz went around the place. I wanted to smile and wai at everyone but I didn’t want to distract from the monks, so I pretended not to notice. I suppose I was big news in a little town as I appeared to be the only Farang around these parts. We sat somewhere near the front and one of the older monks started chanting. I just copied Jee in whatever she did and when she did so hopefully I didn’t look too out of place in a temple. When the monk had finished, which was just long enough to make the Farangs bum numb, we took all the food we brought and joined the queue of people placing items of food into big silver bowls that stretched the length of the wat (temple). I liked doing this; it was good fun joining in with everyone.