by Guy Lilburne
We eat out at some really nice places and I was starting to feel comfortable here. In the day time the city is busy and it’s clean and bright. I like the river and the parks, Prince Prachak Circle, Fountain Circle and Clock Tower Circle. There are three or four lakes around the city, shopping malls and cinema’s. There is a slower pace to the city than Bangkok or Phuket but it’s still an exciting place to be.
I suppose, like most places anywhere in the world, it’s the people that always make a place special and in Isaan they have some very special people. With an open honesty and charm that is hard to resist.
Chapter 24. Needing time to think (18th)
Some days when we went out on a trip some people from the village would pile up on the back of the pick up and come along for the day out but today it was just the family. It’s the 18th April today, I will already have been here a week tomorrow. It’s gone quick now looking back but on the other hand I feel like I’ve been here for months. At least Jee and I have established a relationship which seems pretty strong to me which is a good job really, other wise it wouldn’t survive all the communication break downs and misunderstandings. Today we are going to Than Ngam Waterfalls.
For the last week I have been seeing a sign on the ring road that tells me that Ngam Waterfalls are not very far away from Udon Thani and on a few occasions I have pointed it out to Jee and asked her if we can go there. I never really got much response, maybe waterfalls aren’t her thing but I really enjoy water anywhere and especially at a waterfall, so even though I got the idea that she wasn’t very keen, I sort of persisted and yesterday, I again pointed it out and finally she relented and said that “We go tomorrow.”
So today we are going to spend the day at the waterfalls, I’m really quite excited about it, it will be a relief from the constant heat of this place. Ngam Waterfalls here we come.
Well at least that’s where I thought we were going. I do think we ended up pretty close to it because I saw some road signs but we end up in a lovely park and gardens that seems to be high up in the hills and we picnic there. Lovely scenery but not a drop of water in sight. After it becomes obvious that we are not going any further I ask Jee about the waterfalls.
“No good, no water now, better rainy season, have water,” She said very seriously.
I couldn’t stop myself from laughing out loud, it had just tickled me and as I laughed, so everyone else joined in although I’m sure I’m the only one who knew why I was laughing. So I don’t know if we are at the waterfalls or not, but in any event I don’t get to see any water because there isn‘t any, ‘mai pen rai’ (not to worry).
Such a lot had happened to me over this last week. I had gone through a whole host of emotions and I had met so many new people and seen so many things. The experiences had been loaded onto me one after another. I had got to really like Jee and I thought that we had a good chance of making a go of things, but I have to say that my mind was also spinning from everything. I had spent a lot of money while I’d been here, which I know is expected of a Farang from his new family but it also worried me. I wasn’t a rich man and if I come to live here now I will have no money other than that from the sale of my house and that will have to last me for two years until my pension starts. I couldn’t afford to sustain everyone like I had this last week. In the hotel room that night I tried to explain this to Jee, but her answer was
“Money no problem, heart more important.”
I didn’t think she quite grasped what I was trying to say and the importance of us surviving on a limited amount for the next two years and I repeated it all again and then she surprised me.
“Yes darling I understand. You have to spend a lot of money this time so no person speak you bad. Every person now speak you good man so next time no problem no spend money. We be happy together just little money. I work have money, no problem can do.”
So at least she did understand and so did I but I still needed some time to think about everything. I wasn’t changing my mind but I just wanted to think about everything and make sure I’m doing the right thing. I told Jee that I was thinking about going back to Phuket to have some time to myself and relax and think about everything. Jee looked at me as it sunk into her what I was saying.
“You want I go with you?” She asked almost pleadingly looking into my eyes.
“No I need to be on my own.”
I felt as if I was shooting Bambi’s mother.
Jee got very upset very quickly but she never got loud, she just gently sobbed, and sobbed and sobbed. I held her in my arms as we lay in bed and I was trying to explain to her. I didn’t want her to worry; I just wanted some time alone to consider everything. I knew that I was doing a lot of talking and when I asked Jee if she could understand what I was saying. She just said,
“No I not understand. I just know I love you.”
It touched my heart. She hadn’t said it since we had first started emailing and I told her it was silly to say such things so soon when we hadn’t met, but this time it had a different effect on me. It felt real this time. I think that she did love me and I was lucky to have this woman loving me.
“Baby I will be coming back to you, I promise,” I said searching for something to say to make it better.
“I can do nothing. If you come back up to you. I only have you, nothing else. I love you real.”
Jee carried on gently sobbing in my arms, I could feel her tears wet and warm on my chest.
Chapter 25. Explaining why Jee not go Patong, maybe go Chiang Mai.
As we lay there I realised that I didn’t have to be away from Jee. If maybe just the two of us could have some time away from the rest of the family. That would be just as good for me. I didn’t want to take Jee to Phuket though. The only Farang and Thai couples you see in Phuket are sex tourists and bar girls. I didn’t want to be considered as such and I wouldn’t want to subject Jee to that.
I’m sure that Jee would just take it all in her stride and just be happy to be with me anywhere, but I think she is just too nice to be thought of as a bar girl just because she is holding hands with a Farang. I’m sure that there are many couples who are not sex tourists and bar girls, I know I’m stereo typing but that’s what I see and that’s what people will see if I walked along holding hands with Jee. Here in Isaan it feels different and it feels ok.
“Jee, I don’t want to be without you but it would be nice if we could have time to ourselves. What about just me and you going to Chiang Mai for a few days, just the two of us?”
“Yes darling, no problem. Please don’t leave me. I love you.”
“I love you too Jee.”
Wow I just said it, the words just came out.
Jee sat up straight, still holding my hands and still sobbing but she was smiling.
“Really, you love me?”
“Yes darling, I love you. Don’t worry Jee, I’m not going anywhere.”
Jee snuggled into me, but still it took her along time to stop sobbing. We didn’t say anymore and slowly drifted off to sleep.
We didn’t go to Chiang Mai and we didn’t have any time to ourselves. We just carried on each day as before, but it did feel different, maybe because we had said that we love each other, there seemed to be a confidence and understanding between us. I think we both were happy to settle for each other and the affection between us kept growing.
Chapter 26. Buying a ring (20th)
On 20th April Jee was telling me that she wanted to buy a pendent like the one the monk had given me to put the gold ball in that he had made for her on the day we took the money tree. I told her I’d buy her one. The pendent the monk had given me was only gold coloured but I was going to buy Jee a real gold one. I also said that maybe we could have a look at the rings while we are there. She couldn’t hide her excitement, and after a phone call to Pon our day was arranged. Jee, Pon, Fon, Phong, Sak and myself were all off into Udon city to go to a jewellers shop. Only Jee, Pon and myself went inside. The Chinese lady who owned the sho
p made us tea and Jee examined all the rings and pendants and chains with critical but excited eyes.
The cost of the rings and pendants kept going up with the quality and Jee kept looking to me for permission to try them on. I kept nodding keeping up a steady conversion of Thai Baht to English pounds so I knew how much this was going to cost me. At last she choose the jewellery, the ring, pendant and chain were beautiful and the gold ring looked wonderful on Jee’s delicate hand. The gold ball made by the monk looked very impressive in the heavy gold pendant. Jee looked like she was floating on air and bounced out of the shop to show the rest of the family who all seemed to enjoy the occasion. Jee spent a lot of time on her mobile ringing different friends to tell them the news and it made me smile every time I caught her admiring her new jewellery. I was very happy that she was happy. The sobbing and sadness that I had caused her the other night was all forgotten now.
Jee received a call on her mobile and it changed her mood. The conversation was a long one and it was the same mans voice I’d heard on the phone before. I could tell that he was making Jee unhappy and after the call Jee spoke in Thai to the rest of the family before she spoke to me. She was quite upset and explained to me that her boss from the hospital was making problems for her and that she had to go back to work the day after tomorrow on 22nd April. She told me that her boss had not been happy about her taking all this time off work and if she didn’t go back then she would have no job to go back to. I told her not to worry and that everything would work out okay in the end. Jee cheered up after awhile and she forgot about her boss and started to enjoy her new jewellery again.
I booked a flight back to Phuket for the morning of 22nd. We ended up driving to a small town on the Mekong River. We were further down river then last time we came because this time the‘Friendship Bridge’ was to our left as we sat in the upstairs of a riverside restaurant. We didn’t get back to Udon Thani until after 10:00 pm and Sak dropped us off at the hotel.
Chapter 27. My new family buy me a church
So this is our last full day together. I fly back to Phuket tomorrow. I think Jee and I both feel a sadness engulf us as the day wears on. As usual we are collected early and taken back to Sak’s house for some breakfast. There is a lot of discussion this morning, more than usual and I’m guessing it’s about me leaving tomorrow. I think the whole family feel the sadness that Jee and I are feeling. There is something so very miserable about long goodbye’s, and this feels like the longest of goodbye’s. Spirits seem to lift, Thai people never seem to stay very sad for very long and I ask Jee what we are doing today.
“Today we take you church, for you. Very good I think.”
I quite liked the sound of that. This was going to be a nice day and I thought that it would be lovely to see what a church looked like in Thailand. I know that there are a very small minority of Thai Christians but I hadn’t noticed any churches, but somehow I just knew that they would be brighter and more lively then the dire dark
places we have in England. I think churches in England are beautiful to look at, but once inside the dark gloomy feel of the churches makes me too depressed to stay in them very long, so today will be something of an education for me and for a change Jee and her family will be able to copy me. I can’t wait to see if they cross themselves or wai. I also think that it’s a very thoughtful thing for Jee to think about taking me to a church.
“Is it far to the church Jee?” I ask.
“No darling, not far, next town.”
After breakfast has been cleared away we all get into the pick up and off we go along a very long main road which looks more like a country lane. I enjoy seeing the rice fields and water buffalo. There seems to be a lot of people setting fire to the dried rice fields, presumably to prepare them for the rainy season and rice planting.
We arrive at a town and as usual there is some sort of detour and change in plans, but I don’t mind I’m used to it, so I just get out and follow everyone else. We wonder through a very clean garage type of building that sells car and truck tyres which are all piled neatly in various stacks. Then we take our shoes off and go into somebody’s house. I guess that she is a friend of Pon because she is also a seamstress and there are lots of jackets and pre cut material hanging up and laid out on a huge table.
Everybody greets each other warmly and the lady gets us all ice water. They all chat away and I sit and watch and smile and nod. Jee asks me if I like the clothes. I of course say ‘Chai, dee mak khrap.’ (Yes, very good.)
Well I’m not going to say anything else am I. Then Jee starts pushing me onto which colour and pattern I like best and now I’m getting a bit bored with it all. I don’t like any of them and I would never wear one. It’s way too hot in Thailand to wear these thick formal dress jackets and people would laugh out loud if I tried wearing one in England and I had the feeling that Jee was pushing me to buy one. I didn’t mind spending money on Jee and her family but I didn’t want to waste it on myself on something I’d never ever wear. If I was going to take a souvenir back home then I’d like to take a little statue of Buddha or something like that. When Jee asked me to try one on I just said no and told her that I didn’t like them that much and I didn’t want to buy one. Jee told the lady and everyone got up and walked out so I followed again.
We all got back on the pick up and Sak drove us back to his house. What happened to the church?
“Jee, I thought we were going to see a church,” I said sounding angst.
“Darling we want to buy you church but you no like,” She protested.
The penny dropped, she said ‘church’ but she meant ‘shirt’. I was really disappointed. I explained the vocabulary mistake to Jee and she thought it was very funny, she told the others and everyone laughed, even me. It was only just after midday but Jee said that we had to go back to the hotel and she wanted me to rest because she had a lot of things to do with Pon. I told Jee that I didn’t want to rest but I would be happy to wonder around Udon Thani city centre by myself and maybe go and have a beer. Jee didn’t want me to drink any beer and I guessed that they were going to arrange some kind of party as a surprise but I didn’t want to sit on my own all afternoon in a hotel room. Jee could see my reluctance to agree to solitary confinement and after a long chat with Pon she said
“Okay darling, I stay with you, no problem, we both rest this afternoon.”
So that’s what we did and it was a nice afternoon, we spent it in bed. Jee told me about the party they were planning for me tonight.
Chapter 28. Farewell party (21st) banana leaf tree
Sak and Fon came to collect us from the hotel at 6:30 pm, it was already getting dark. On the way back to the house we stopped at another house in the village and collected a little tree type thing, it was beautiful. I think it was made out of banana leaves that were platted and twisted and folded to make a short of tree with pointed cone shaped branches. It was decorated with yellow and white flowers with flashes of red beads here and there and lots of little pieces of white string draped over it. It was sitting in a gold bowl and it was a work of art. Jee paid 200 Baht to the lady who must have spent hours platting the leaves into such beautiful form, and we took the tree back to Sak’s house.
There were already a lot of people there and the house was full. It was nice to see so many people who I had already met, however briefly, over the last couple of weeks and there were lots of new faces too. It was another round of meeting and greeting. Amongst the people who I was introduced to was an elderly man who could easily have been a monk. He had that spiritual ness about him and he was dressed all in white with a slightly over sized robe type top.
As soon as we arrived I scanned the scene to see if the big drunken ginger man was there. I was happy when I couldn’t see him, it would have ruined my night. I had said to Jee during our wait in the hotel that Sak should tell the man not to come but Jee just said ‘no darling cannot’, but anyway he hadn’t turned up. His wife was there and made a bee line to me to say h
ello, she was quite a charming lady really, she was friendly and touched my arm a lot when she spoke. I think I felt very honoured that so many people were here. There were crates of beer piled up and as always mountains of food. Somebody had handed me a beer and after about half an hour Jee called me inside the house.
The banana leaf tree had been placed in the middle of the room and the man in the white robe was sat near to it and everyone, including Jee and I sat in a huge circle around him. He started some kind of ‘blessing’ service and lead the way in prayers. I copied everyone else so that I didn’t look out of place. It occurred to me that if anyone was looking at me they would think that I had eyes like a Gecko lizard, checking what everyone else was doing and when. After a while the white robe man produced a big ball of white string. He held the end in a wai in his hands and passed the ball to the person next to him. The ball was passed around until everyone was holding the string between wai’d hands and the ball completed the circle back to the man. He then said some more prayers before winding back in the string and then taking one of the strings off the banana leaf tree and tying it around my wrist, he did the same to Jee.
Then everyone took string off the tree and queued up to tie them on to the wrists of Jee and I. One little girl who had sat next to me in the circle queued up four times to tie string on me. My wrist looked like it had been bandaged half way to my elbow. Then everyone tucked into the food and the party mood took hold.