That much, he knew. “Why?”
“Mostly because I didn’t like the fact I let you down. I was bitchy to you, and you didn’t deserve it. Being punished wasn’t the bad part. The fact that you had to punish me was the worst.”
A tear glistened at the corner of one eye. He waited for it to fall so he could wipe it away. “Now that you’ve been punished, the matter is resolved.”
Hopefully that would allow her to let it go. He didn’t want another apology or to have to issue additional assurances. Sabrina carried too much guilt for things that didn’t matter all that much to anyone else.
She nodded, a stilted movement. He didn’t push the matter. She needed time to process what had happened.
“Go get ready for bed. It’s been a long day.”
* * * *
Sabrina lay awake in the dark. Sounds of the sea drifted through the slider they’d left open to let in the soft trade winds and their soothing breeze. A glance at Jonas showed that he was crashed. The last two days had been physically and emotionally exhausting. She understood that he was trying to push their relationship to a deeper level. She wanted the same thing, only she didn’t know if his methods would work.
When he’d first brought up the idea of being submissive, she had agreed because she trusted him. While she didn’t regret her decision, she’d be lying if she said she completely understood her reaction to total submission. She also didn’t know if Jonas allowing her to have an actual conversation with Mistress Hera as an equal qualified as a submissive activity.
Gently, she shoved aside the soft sheet and slid from bed. One of Jonas’s chain store cotton shirts was draped over a chair nearby. She slipped it over her head and went out to the balcony. With the questions whirling in her head, she wasn’t going to get much sleep.
She paced to the other side of the balcony. It ran the length of their suite, so she didn’t worry about disturbing Jonas. Her mind raced as she stopped at the railing and gripped the edge. Above her, the Milky Way spun in the infinite space, dwarfing her problems, but not diminishing them.
Two years ago, her sister Ginny had talked her into taking yoga classes. Sabrina had enjoyed it and Jonas had been supportive, but between work and spending time with her family, there had been little time to continue practicing. She’d taken to using the breathing exercises when she needed a moment alone to relax.
At her core, Sabrina was one of those people who stressed about everything. If she tackled a project, she made sure it ended up a model of perfection. When they’d first married, Jonas had taught her how to take a step back and trust other people to live up to her expectations. It freed up a lot of her time, but it hadn’t changed the fact that she was an obsessive perfectionist.
Snapping at Jonas had been a very low moment. It wasn’t the first time she’d gone off on him. He’d spent years goading her into losing her temper as a way to relieve stress. When that didn’t work, and it frequently didn’t, he would strap her to a spanking bench or the St. Andrew’s cross and flog her until she broke.
She needed a good session on a pretty regular basis, and Jonas had been wonderful about giving her what she needed. While she didn’t think he wanted to have fewer sessions with her, she did feel his frustration that they were almost always just to help her relax. It put a lot of pressure on him. He didn’t seem to mind, but she sensed that he wanted to find other ways to achieve the same results.
Did she like being submissive? That was a difficult question to answer. She’d played the part in scenes, which she loved to do, and she was always submissive sexually. It was a formula that had worked well for them for the past five years.
And this was a vacation. How would being submissive work once they returned home? She had kids to consider now. Would seeing this different dynamic make them think women were lesser than men?
Pressure throbbed at her temples. As she rubbed them, she realized she’d let Jonas open up a clown car. It seemed so simple and compact, but one problem after another poured forth. Each of them brought more stress.
So she switched her strategy. Instead of thinking about the problems, she thought about what she got out of it. Being punished had been a little on the humiliating side. If she didn’t love and trust Jonas so much, she never would have been able to accept the spanking. Compared to much of the impact play in which they’d engaged, the spanking had been nothing. Though the smacks had resounded from the tile in the room, she’d barely felt them. The horse had done more damage to her rear end than that rubber paddle had.
Of course, that was the point. Jonas had known the humiliation aspect would be the worst part of it for her. He hadn’t felt the need for lasting physical punishment. Given the fact that she was a strong, opinionated woman in charge of multibillion-dollar marketing campaigns and a host of employees, she would have thought she would revolt at the idea of being a real submissive.
But that hadn’t been an issue at all. In fact, the punishment had absolved her of all the guilt she would have felt if she’d simply apologized. That simple act, one she didn’t have a problem performing, had never been enough. The way she beat herself up over those things definitely annoyed the hell out of Jonas.
One issue had been satisfactorily resolved. The others required more time and experience. She still had three submissive days left before their scheduled talk.
Since she still couldn’t sleep, she sat on one of the cushioned wicker chairs and stared at the sky. If she were a few inches taller, she could stare at the ocean. Given how the stars stole her breath, she couldn’t mourn the loss. Due to light pollution, this kind of clarity was only available when they visited the Lake Michigan sand dunes.
As she sat there, her mind cleared, and she realized that talking to the bank manager wasn’t going to get Heather anywhere. If the accounts had been frozen, then there was nothing a manager could do.
After a quick trip to the kitchen to grab her tablet, she settled back on the chair and called Ellen. Jonas’s best friend owned an upscale BDSM dungeon and the attached dance club. She might be able to shed a little light on the issue.
Ellen appeared on the screen fairly quickly. In the background, the room was dimly lit and Ellen’s hair was a mess.
Sabrina covered her mouth with her hand. It was the middle of the night. Ellen and her husband, Ryan, were probably asleep. Or they had been. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how late it is.”
The pretty brunette laughed. “That’s okay. We weren’t sleeping. What’s wrong?”
The fact that Jonas’s friend was so good at reading her had initially disconcerted Sabrina. Eventually they’d developed a close friendship. She trusted Ellen implicitly.
She tried to smile, but it came out tired and a little sad. “It’s that obvious?”
“You look a little worse for the wear, and not in a sated, good kind of way.”
Sabrina took a deep breath. Heather had confided in them, but Sabrina hadn’t promised anything except to listen. “It turns out the woman who runs Elysium is an old friend of Jonas’s.” She left out any mention of Helene. Just the name could set Ellen on a tirade. It made Sabrina feel a little better to know that Jonas’s friends and family liked her much better than his first wife.
Ellen lifted a dark brow. “Oh?”
Shaking her head, Sabrina said, “That’s not why I called. The owners of this place are in the middle of a nasty divorce. They’ve frozen all the bank accounts. There’s an island full of guests, and no way to pay the workers.”
“Or the bills.” Ellen snorted. “I bet there was infidelity. I’ve met the owners a few times. They were both sluts. It doesn’t surprise me that they’d screw over their entire staff like that.”
Ellen looked over at something out of frame for a second. Her cynical smile disappeared, morphing into something tender and predatory. Sabrina realized why Ellen’s hair was so messy. She probably had Ryan tied up and gagged. It was probably best to conclude the call.
“I was just wondering what kind of advic
e we could offer Heather about how to manage this mess.”
Ellen’s attention snapped back to the screen. “Heather McDougall? Tall, black, and beautiful? A Dominatrix?”
Sabrina nodded. “She’s going by Mistress Hera here.”
Ellen pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and grinned. “God I miss her. After Jonas trained her, she became one of my best. Then she left to work at a resort in France and we lost touch.”
Now that she’d realized what was likely going on where she couldn’t see, she wanted to get off the phone. If she were tied up in bed or anywhere else, she wouldn’t be too happy if Jonas stopped to have a conversation. She tried to prod Ellen. “There’s nothing she can do, is there?”
Ellen pursed her lips. “Let me think about it. I’ll call you back in the morning. Not too early though. The kids are spending the night at Ryan’s parents, so we’re sleeping in.”
Sabrina nodded. “Thanks, Elle. I appreciate it.” She pushed the button to end the call.
“What’re you doing out here?”
Sabrina’s heart raced. She felt like a naughty child who’d stolen an extra cookie and snuck outside to eat it only to find the law waiting. She put a hand on her chest as if that would slow the thumping there and looked up at Jonas, who wore only the boxer briefs he’d had on when he’d fallen into bed. The dim starlight glinted from the ripples of his well-defined chest. When he looked that good, there was no hope for her heart rate.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
He held a hand out to her. She rose from the chair and went to him. The idea of refusing never crossed her mind. He pulled her into his arms and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “You’re worried about what?”
Because she wasn’t close to figuring out all the issues she had and she had no idea how to resolve anything, she chose not to talk about that. “I asked Ellen if she had any ideas for helping Heather. I realized the bank manager won’t be able to help.”
His arms tightened around her for a second before he steered her through the door to the bedroom. The screen closed automatically. She set the tablet on an accent table as she continued to the bed.
Jonas settled in next to her, wrapping his body around hers in an unyielding snuggle. “There might not be anything we can do to help. Heather has connections. She can always find another job.”
“I know. I just…She had to be desperate to ask us for help.”
He nuzzled her neck. “Are you sure something else isn’t bothering you?”
“Maybe,” she said. With his arms around her, the tension was already draining from her body. “I’m not ready to talk about it yet. We agreed on Friday.”
“We did. But that doesn’t mean we have to wait until Friday. If you want to talk, honey, that can happen at any time.”
She hugged his arms. “Just hold me until I fall asleep.”
“Try to stop me.”
Chapter Six
Ellen set the tablet facedown on the dresser next to her favorite flogger. When it hit the target, the black falls parted to reveal red ones. She had a thing for red. Not only did she look damn good in red clothing, her handsome husband was a redhead, and his fair skin bore the marks of the lash so well.
She shot him a look that used to be unreadable. Having been together for twenty years, there was no such thing as unreadable anymore. He was so in tune with her that he could interpret the smallest change in her breathing.
He watched her carefully, just as she’d trained him to do. She checked the cuffs binding his wrists and ankles to each post of their extra-sturdy bed. Ryan sometimes fought the restraints, especially when things got extra fun.
He followed her around the bed with just his pale blue eyes. The red ball gag in his mouth kept him from voicing the questions she knew he had about the call. Sabrina wasn’t one to call late at night, and the fact that she’d called halfway through her anniversary trip to Elysium was troubling.
She and Ryan had visited the place almost two decades earlier for their honeymoon, and they’d bragged about it to Jonas ever since. They knew firsthand the wonderful amenities the resort offered. Sabrina should have been too blissfully sated to worry about anything else.
Drawing a fingernail over his scrotum, she checked his color. Earlier she’d put a double cock ring on him. One steel loop went around his balls, and the other restricted his cock.
“She’s okay. I saw Jonas hovering in the background when we were finishing up. He’ll take care of her.” She picked up the leather riding crop. This was also red.
Ryan relaxed the slightest bit at her assurance. Even before she’d refused Jonas’s gift, Ryan had predicted that Sabrina would have problems at Elysium. For years he’d maintained that she was more submissive than she was comfortable admitting. He was on the fence about whether or not he thought Jonas should force the issue. Ellen was of the opinion that Sabrina could handle it.
She drew the edge of the flap along his chest lightly before bringing it down hard on his nipple. His back arched off the bed, and he cried out behind the gag. She skimmed it across his pecs and ribs, over his lightly tanned stomach, and down his thigh where she administered another sharp blow. Back and forth, she peppered his chest and inner thighs with taps both sharp and dull. Not knowing which to expect drove him out of his mind. He flinched and writhed, moaning and pleading behind the gag.
When her target areas had turned a nice, hot shade of red, she set the crop aside and reached for the double pinwheel. She liked this instrument. It looked like a set of spiked balls with a skinny cock protruding from it that functioned as the handle.
Ryan’s eyes widened and his entire body quivered with anticipation. She’d ensured that his endorphin level was sufficiently high. He was up for almost anything.
She started with the bottoms of his feet. She’d read somewhere that the feet were the sensory pathway to the entire body. It had taken scientists years to figure out what the S/M community already knew. She set the pins against his most vulnerable place, the arch, and rolled the balls up and down. Ryan’s cock, already purpled and standing at attention, seemed to flex as if it was waving at her in an attempt to entice her closer.
As she experimented with pressures, increasing where his sole was tougher, his moans turned to whimpers. He tried to move his feet, to escape stimulation, but the restraints held firm. When she thought he’d taken all he could, she moved up his body, finding the extra-sensitive places on his ankles, calves, the insides of his knees. She even drew it over his scrotum and leaned down to lick the drop of moisture beading at the tip of his cock before heading to the underside of his arms.
By the time she finished that exquisite torture, his entire body trembled with need. She unbuckled the straps for the gag and popped it out of his mouth. The sharp tear of Velcro rent the room as she released him from the cuffs. Though his muscles were tense, giving him the appearance of a catlike predator, he knew better than to pounce without permission. Sometimes she gave him his head and let him do as he wished. This wasn’t one of those times.
She undressed slowly, first loosening the tight red corset that plumped her breasts—Ryan was unequivocally a breast man—and reined in some of the extra curviness he seemed to like way more than she did. When she removed her black lace panties, he licked his lips, and she realized he wanted a taste of her.
Climbing onto the bed, she pushed at his hip. “Kneel at the end of the bed. I’m going to come in your mouth.”
“Yes, Mistress.” Desire, fevered and hot, gleamed from his eyes, and his voice dropped to such a low baritone that it was more vibration than sound. He scrambled to follow her command, his ringed cock bobbing and bowing as he moved. She didn’t worry about cutting off his circulation. He was very good about telling her if it got to be too much.
She spread her legs slowly, knowing he would wait on his knees, watching her cunt until she gave him the signal. Ever the tease, she circled her clit with her fingertip, spreading her cream and masturbating a little. Ry
an’s fists clenched on his thighs. He wanted to be the one who made her climax. It was a responsibility he took very seriously.
Sitting up suddenly, she offered him her finger. His lips closed around the digit, sucking hard as his tongue wrapped around it. For the first time that night, he took his eyes from her. They closed, and his face shone with the same ecstasy he displayed after a thorough flogging.
Ripping her finger from his mouth, she pulled him to her and crushed his lips with a dominating and possessive kiss. Then she pushed his head down between her legs and settled back against the pillows. His hot tongue worked her clit, circling and crossing the bundle of nerves before heading down to fuck itself into her hole. He put a hand on her inner thigh, urging her wider to allow him more access.
She obliged, and he buried his face in her pussy, no doubt half-suffocating himself. He easily took her to that place of bliss, but he didn’t stop licking until she yanked hard on his hair.
Even then he only lifted his face to gaze at her with a questioning eyebrow lifted. He was a marathon pussy-eater. Once he settled in for the feast, she had to force him to stop. That option had come pre-programmed into his psyche.
“Now fuck me.”
“Yes, Mistress.”
He entered her carefully. Once he was fully seated, she raked her nails across his back. Earlier she’d flogged his back and caned his ass. By the time she’d finished, his back was a beautiful mass of red marks. One thing she loved about his fair skin was the way it kept the evidence for so long. Marks that might fade in several hours on somebody else were often still around the next morning on Ryan. He was inordinately proud of that fact.
He froze, a tremor running from head to toe. She had originally planned to make him come without permission so she could discipline him, but after that phone call, she knew he wanted to know the details. His caring and compassionate nature was one of the reasons she’d married him.
“Start slow. I want at least two orgasms before you come.”
Letting Go 2: Stepping Stones [Awakenings 5] (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 10