The Certainty of Deception

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The Certainty of Deception Page 11

by Jeanne McDonald


  McKenzie shifted her chair enough for me to stand from my seat and move away from the table. “Go out back.” She pointed to the sliding doors behind the table.

  “Thanks.”

  “Take your time.”

  Without another word, I darted out the door, feeling every pair of eyes at the table follow me. “This is Andrew,” I answered the instant the back door slid closed.

  “Hello to you, too.”

  “What do you want, Olivia?”

  I stepped away from the house, moving toward the swimming pool. The moonlight danced across the water’s surface and the underwater lighting illuminated the pale-blue acrylic surface. For the heavy dust that seemed to constantly float in the Amarillo wind, the pool was quite clear and sparkling. Large trees and exotic plants shaded the area, creating a lagoon-type atmosphere. By looking at the front of the house, you’d never expected a tropical paradise would be behind it. I walked around the side of the pool near the adjoining hot tub, almost aching to jump in to escape the dry heat.

  “Only to check on you. I was worried. I expected you to have called me by now.”

  I threw my hand up in the air in frustration. Loud laughter resounded from the house, and I despised Olivia even more for making me miss whatever was funny.

  “I thought we had this conversation already. If there’s no emergency with the baby then you’re not to bother me. We’re not together, Olivia, and nothing’s going to change that.”

  “And I told you, Andrew that I’m not giving up on you.”

  “You’re wasting your time.”

  “It’s my time to waste.”

  “Okay, then you’re wasting my time, and I won’t have my time wasted by you.”

  “Drew,” her tone changed abruptly. “Let’s start over. I didn’t call to argue with you. I only wanted to make sure you made it safe.”

  I rubbed my hand over my face. “Fine. I made it safe.”

  “Are you having fun?”

  A remorseful chuckle escaped me.

  “I take that as a no?”

  “We’re having dinner,” I dodged, “I haven’t had time to have fun yet.”

  “Dinner? Already? It’s what? Five or six there?”

  I glanced down at my watch, catching the time in the pool light. “Fifteen ‘til eight.”

  “Are you sure that’s right?”

  “Yeah, I changed my watch when we landed. Why?”

  “I just,” she paused. “Never mind. Time zones confuse me. That’s all.”

  “Everyone’s waiting on me. I really need to go.”

  “Call me later?”

  I sighed. “For the last time; you’re not my girlfriend.”

  “Good grief. You’re like a broken record. I thought you might like telling me about your big wins at the tables. But, whatever. Enjoy your male bonding time.”

  The click of the line ended the call. I looked down into the crystal blue water, wanting nothing more than to throw my cell phone into its depths. As I slid my phone back into my pocket, knowing that killing the poor thing wouldn’t stop her from calling, I tilted my head back to find the most beautiful display of stars I’d ever seen in my life.

  Silver twinkled against the black and blue blanket of the sky. Countless nights I’d spent at the beach, staring up at those same stars, but never had I seen them with such clarity before. The smell of Hereford, as I’d come to know it, had dissipated and now, I was engulfed in the fresh breeze of Texas.

  A bright orange flame sparked behind me, catching my attention. “Everythin’ all right?” A lump formed in my throat at the sound of Bill’s rough, rugged voice. For all I knew, Bill was packing heat, or whatever Texans called it. Gathering my nerve, I turned on my heel, almost losing my balance. Bill held a cigarette in his hand, but I didn’t see any signs of a gun. I steadied myself; thankful I didn’t fall into the pool, and inched toward him. In the shimmering light of the pool, Bill appeared taller; more foreboding than he did in broad daylight.

  “Yes, sir,” my voice cracked.

  What the hell? I’m a grown man. My voice hadn’t cracked since I was a teenager.

  I was thankful for the shroud of the night, which hid the heat that was burning through my face. Regrouping, I straightened my back, standing a little taller, as I approached him.

  Bill tipped the pack of cigarettes toward me, knocking one out of the package. “Smoke?”

  Under normal circumstances I would have rejected the offer. Smoking is a nasty habit, but I wasn’t about to turn him down. I reached over and took the cigarette from the package, placing it to my lips. The filament of the lighter ignited before my face. I leaned forward, placing the tip of the cigarette in the flame. Bright embers ignited, and I pulled the smoke deep into my lungs. I choked slightly, but held my own.

  “Thanks,” I gasped, releasing the smoke from my lungs. I took another drag from the cigarette, feeling the lightheaded effects almost instantly.

  “Don’t tell Lindsey. She thinks I quit ages ago.”

  I nodded. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

  Bill leaned against a wooden column, taking another drag. The way he held the cigarette between his fingers and the deep inhalation he managed with each drag told me he was a pro. The only time I’d smoked that hard was in my college days, and it wasn’t tobacco that I was smoking.

  I balanced myself against the opposite post, and stared out toward the rippling water. Fear, more like agony, shook me to the core. I hated the idea that I might’ve disappointed Bill. He’d accepted me into his home, knowing that McKenzie and I were at odds. And for me to step out of his house to answer Olivia’s call, even at McKenzie’s bidding, seemed like a slap to his generosity.

  “I guess that was Olivia?” he asked, flicking the ash from his cigarette.

  “Unfortunately.”

  “Mhm.” He took another deep drag. The mix of the smoke that left his lungs against the pure sky seemed in contrast of each other. I put the cigarette back to my lips, breathing in deep. It was easier to handle this time.

  “It’s not what you think, Bill.”

  “And exactly what is it that I think?”

  I flicked the cigarette a few times, watching the embers turn to ash. “You think I’m playing on your daughter’s affections.”

  “If I thought that, do you believe I would’ve not only invited you into my home, but suggest that you join me and my family tomorrow?”

  He had me there. “No, sir.” Taking another puff from my cigarette, I watched the gray fumes cloud the air around me as they expelled from my lungs. Nicotine coursed through my veins, making me feel dizzy and a little nauseated.

  Bill tapped the flame of his cigarette out on the post and tossed it in a flower pot. “So, answer me this. How do you plan on fixing this mess, Son?”

  Unable to finish mine, I mimicked his actions and threw the cigarette away. I swallowed, trying to alleviate the pit in my stomach. “I don’t know, sir, but what I do know is I can’t continue to live without her. Mickie is my heart.”

  Lifting his ball cap, Bill rubbed the top of his balding head. “That’s a start. Why’d it take you so long to come get her?”

  “Bad advice,” I sneered.

  Bill’s head fell forward in laughter. “Actually, it was good advice, but the flowers were a nice touch though.”

  I clapped my hands against my thighs. “Does everyone know I sent her flowers?”

  He slapped me on the shoulder. “It doesn’t take being a rocket scientist to figure that one out.”

  I sighed, glancing at the man I admired. It was in that moment I realized he wasn’t there for his daughter alone. He was trying to protect me as well. The man in him, the father in him, couldn’t allow either one of us to be hurt.

  “What am I going to do?” I asked.

  Bill squeezed my shoulder tight. “I wish I knew. Can I ask you a question?” I nodded, fearing what he was about to ask. “Is the baby yours?”

  “Unless a test proves o
therwise, I’m the father. But I’ve got to get her to take the test first.” I rushed my fingers through my hair, seeing Bill’s jaw tighten.

  “And when will that happen?”

  “I fucking wish I knew.” Oops. I didn’t mean for that word to slip out. I clamped my mouth shut, searching for something to say. Here I was trying to be open and honest, even trying to make some sort of impression on Bill, and I go and drop the F-bomb.

  Brilliant, Wise. Just brilliant!

  Bill acted as though I hadn’t anything out of the ordinary. “I see.”

  “No, you don’t see, sir,” I declared. I turned to Bill. “I have no reason to disbelieve Olivia, except for my need to disprove that this baby could be mine. I need it to not be mine, and if I can’t get her to take the test before the baby is born -” my words trailed off. There was no easy way to say that my father was hounding me about Olivia. That I was basically the black sheep of the family. That being around Olivia, seeing the sonograms, and going to all of the appointments sent me into a constant panic attack.

  I took in a deep breath, feeling the burning from the cigarette lingering in my lungs. “No matter what a test shows, the truth is, it doesn’t change how I feel about Mickie. I’ve loved her since the first time I saw her. I didn’t even know her name, and I loved her, sir. That has to account for something. Doesn’t it?” A tremulous note hung in my voice.

  Bill placed both hands on my shoulders. His eyes crinkled as he analyzed me. “It does, but sadly, sometimes love isn’t enough.”

  “I can’t believe that. We were right there. Almost happy. If Olivia hadn’t dropped the bomb on us the way she did, we were going to tell her everything. We were going to be happy together.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, McKenzie couldn’t keep hiding our relationship from Olivia, and truthfully, neither could I. We arranged the meeting with Olivia that night to be honest with her.”

  Bill’s eyes narrowed. “You’re saying Mickie was going to allow herself to be happy, even if it might hurt Olivia? Are you sure?”

  I shoved my hands in my pockets, shrugging my shoulders. “I’m positive.”

  Bill pursed his lips. His head bobbed in a continuous nod, but said nothing.

  “I knew it would hurt Mickie, facing Olivia like that, but we deserved to be happy, even if it hurt Olivia. We did nothing wrong. I never loved Olivia, and I ended things with her long before I pursued McKenzie. I know what it’s like to be cheated on. No matter what I feel for Olivia, I could never put anyone through that kind of hell. Not even her.”

  I’d never admitted that to anyone outside my family before. There were two major tragedies in my past. The worst was the loss of my daughter. No parent should ever be forced to face the death of a child. It’s the cruelest act of nature. The second was discovering that my daughter’s mother had cheated on me. I knew the agony of a cheating lover, the ache of deceit that lingered long after the relationship had dissolved, and how hard it was to open up to someone again. It was for that reason I refused to pursue McKenzie while I was still with Olivia.

  “That’s admirable, son, but say your plan works out this weekend, and McKenzie does take you back. Then what? What happens next? It doesn’t change the fact that Olivia is still pregnant, and that leaves Mickie in a very difficult situation.”

  “It leaves us both in one. I love your daughter, Bill. That won’t change. But if the child is in fact mine, I will do the honorable thing and be the best father I can be.”

  A prideful smile curved Bill’s lips. “Your father raised you well.”

  I laughed. I couldn’t help it. If this man only knew my father, he’d think differently. “My father would disagree with you. He believes I’m a screw-up and wants me to marry Olivia.”

  “That’s a little old fashioned, but I see where he’s comin’ from.”

  “No. I refuse. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone involved.”

  Bill patted me on the back. “I wasn’t suggesting that you should. I simply said I understand your father’s intentions.”

  I could believe that coming from him. There was nothing in his tone that suggested he was stating anything but the truth.

  “Drew, I have one more question for you. What happens if Mick doesn’t want you back? What will you do then?”

  I froze. That thought hadn’t occurred to me. I’d been so set on riding in on my gallant horse and being her knight in shining armor that I allowed the fairytale to sweep me away without a second thought to reality. I swallowed down the metallic liquid pooling on my tongue. Clenching my hands in my pockets, I met Bill’s eyes. “Then I’d let her go.”

  “Just like that. No fight. You’d just let her go?”

  “Bill, my coming here is fighting for her. If she chooses to let me go, I will leave. But I will leave with my head held high knowing that I gave it my all.”

  Bill studied me for an impregnated moment. His eyes appeared ghostly blue in the moonlight, but there was a discerning truth behind them that I admired. “That’s all I needed to know. I’m not gonna tell you this’ll be easy. My daughter is stubborn like her mother. Especially when she’s hurt. But if you can pull her out of her shell then you have my blessing. God help ya, son, because you’re gonna need it.” He patted my back, laughing.

  “Really? You give me your blessing?” The thought seemed preposterous to me. If my daughter ran away from a guy, I’d want to rip his balls off and feed them to him.

  I seriously need to lay off the ball ripping, I mused within myself. “Are you sure you don’t want to shoot me?” I questioned.

  Bill’s forehead wrinkled and deep lines appeared around his mouth, as he burst into laughter. “Drew, if I’d wanted to shoot you, I could’ve done it back at the shop.”

  The sliding glass door opened. Light from the kitchen flooded the backyard, and standing in the glow was McKenzie. “Everything all right out here?” A deep southern twang filled her voice, sending delightful waves of desire coursing through my veins. I’d swear her accent had thickened since coming back to Texas, and I loved it.

  “Yeah, Mick, everything’s fine. Just showin’ Drew the work I’ve done to the yard.”

  “Mhm,” she hummed. Her eyes darted between us, as she closed the sliding door. “So, if I check the flower pot, I’m not going to find cigarette butts?”

  Bill laughed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pressed his lips to her temple. A soft blush colored her cheeks, visible in the pale light. I envied Mickie’s connection with her father. I didn’t know what that kind of devotion felt like. In the presence of my father, all I ever felt was inferior.

  Feeling as though I was an intruder on their father-daughter moment, I put some distance between us, walking to the mouth of the pool. The two of them shared a soft laugh and then the sliding door opened and closed again. I was alone.

  Or so I thought.

  “Nice night,” McKenzie mused, as she stepped up next to me. In this close proximity, the heat of her skin overpowered the warmth of the evening. My head felt fuzzy. It could’ve been caused by the cigarette, but I knew she was the reason. Nothing seemed clear to me. This felt like a dream.

  I shifted my balance from one foot to the other, moving my gaze to the night sky. “Beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever seen stars shine so clear.”

  “That’s Texas for ya.”

  “I miss the beach though.”

  “Me too,” she admitted.

  “Is that all you miss about Florida?” I had to know. She said on the phone she missed me, but it wasn’t the same as being in this place, at this moment. I wanted to see her expression as she confessed to missing me.

  She wrapped her fingers around my wrist. “The beach is one of many things I miss about home.”

  I turned her to face me. We both stood so close to the mouth of the pool that one wrong move and we’d fall over the edge. She dropped her gaze, refusing to meet my eyes. That wasn’t going to work for me. I needed to be able to
see into her soul. I placed my finger and thumb at her chin, tilting her head up, forcing her to look at me. Her breathing increased as it had every other time we found ourselves in close proximity like this. A gust of wind ruffled her hair about her face. With both hands, I cupped her face, pushing her hair away to peer into those heavenly eyes.

  Slowly, my face moved toward hers. We were two magnets being drawn together. Her tongue darted out of her mouth, lingering on her smooth lips. Inch by inch, I moved in to kiss her. My mouth barely met hers before she pulled away. “Andy, no,” she rasped, placing her hands on my chest.

  My heart sank in my chest. I felt frozen in place, confused and hurt by her once again pulling away from me. “Why not?”

  She stood, unmoving, contemplating her answer carefully. “Because...because,” she stammered.

  My eyes widened, as I leaned forward in anticipation of her answer. “Yes?” I drew out the word.

  “Because,” she curled her fingers against my chest; a mischievous smirk expanded over her lips, “this.” And that’s when she pushed me over the edge.

  C

  hapter Nine

  From the bottom of the pool, I could see McKenzie hanging over the edge. The water rippled around me, distorting her figure. I came up out of the depths, gulping down air. Chlorine burned my eyes. “That’s what you get for making fun of my accent,” she chortled.

  I swiped hands over my face and head, spitting the remainder of water from my mouth. “I didn’t make fun of you!”

  She leaned forward a little closer with a smug expression on her face and her hands on her hips. “You mocked me,” she noted in a sardonic tone. “And I told you, I’m on home court. Don’t mess with me.”

  I waded to the edge of the pool where McKenzie stood. Shadows danced over her slender figure. My eyes drifted up her sleek legs to the curve of her waist. “Hey, Mickie.”

  She cocked her head to the side, fixing me with a precarious stare. “Yeah?”

 

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