The Certainty of Deception

by Jeanne McDonald

  “Just let me in,” I persisted, a little unnerved by the dog’s barking.

  “Hang on!”

  I dropped my head against the door. The metal felt cool on my skin. My eyes widened at the thought that maybe she wasn’t dressed. It was late, and that would explain the commotion. “Hey, Mick. Are you naked? Because you know, I don’t mind seeing you without clothes on. As a matter of fact-”

  “No, I’m not naked!” she screeched, cutting me off. “Gimme a sec, will ya! Jeez!” her frazzled tone suggested that maybe I might’ve caught her doing something inappropriate, which only piqued my curiosity.

  “Hmm. Not naked. Too bad for me,” I teased. “Maybe you were using your vibrator. You know you don’t have to hide it. I can even give you a hand or two,” I chuckled. The thought did have merit. Mickie spread out naked before me. I swallowed back the groan building in my chest at the wonderful image playing in my mind. “Just open the door.”

  “Jesus, Drew. Will you keep your voice down,” her voice trailed off into a whisper; as she threw open the door. I watched as she struggled to catch her breath. Little beads of perspiration formed over her brow, which seemed odd since the air conditioner was blowing full force. She’d piled her hair up in a ponytail which bunched up on top of her head. Black framed glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. Her hard nipples peeked through the white tank top she wore, and her teal gym shorts hugged her thighs, drawing my attention straight to her crotch. I rubbed the back of my neck, forcing myself to take my eyes off the blessed promise land. I cleared my throat, meeting her gaze. “Well, are you going to let me in or what?” I jibbed.

  McKenzie narrowed her eyes, scrutinizing me from head to toe. Her tongue flickered over her delicate lips. My pulse raced, as the ache to kiss her burned through me. A twitch of a smile curved the corner of her mouth. She leaned against the door, crossing her ankles over each other. Even the damn dog that was still barking couldn’t break my concentration on her mouth. The spark that always ignited in my belly when I was in her presence, burst into uncontrollable flames.

  “I’m considering the or what,” she insinuated. She took a step back, moving away from the door frame, giving me access to enter her apartment. “C’mon in, you damn, impatient Yankee. Don’t keep me waiting.”

  I entered her apartment only to be slapped in the face by a cloud of lavender air freshener. Not even my glasses could protect my eyes from the haze of floral smog that coated the air. My eyes burned and started to water. I blinked rapidly, reaching up to rub them. My glasses bounced against my hands, as I pressed my fingers against my eyes. I could taste the particles of scented air on my tongue. As I attempted to breathe through the overwhelming smell, I picked up on another odor; one I hadn’t smelled since my college days. A chuckle caught in my throat at the realization of what I’d caught her doing. She hadn’t been naked and playing with a vibrator as I’d hoped, but there was definitely incriminating evidence a float, literally speaking.

  The burning wasn’t going to subside anytime soon, so, I readjusted my glasses and looked around the octagon-shaped room. The living area connected to a small kitchenette, separated only by a small bar-like area. The walls were dingy yellow, and there were stress cracks in the crown molding. All of the furniture that had been in her former apartment now resided in this tiny abode. This place was clean but cramped. It was okay for one person to live in, but it wasn’t large enough for two people to reside.

  McKenzie closed the door and locked it. From behind me, I could hear her swallow thickly. I turned to face her, meeting her piercing eyes.

  “I like the glasses,” she noted. She crossed her arms behind her, poking her chest out toward me. It took everything I had to keep my eyes on hers instead of her breasts.

  I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose and smiled. “Thanks. Nice place you got here.”

  Ugh. Small talk. I detest small talk.

  “It’s not much, but it’s home.”

  I took a step toward McKenzie, my need to be near her guiding my body when out of nowhere I heard a feline hiss and sputter. Before I knew what was happening, I felt tiny little claws sink into my back. “Jesus, fuck!” I yelled, flailing my arms behind me to apprehend my attacker. I whipped around in circles that would make a dog proud, unable to reach my assailant. The cat wouldn’t let go. Its nails buried deeper into my back with each move it made. I’d been scratched by a cat many times, but this was unlike any cat scratch I’d ever endured. This was pure torture. “Get it off!”

  “Hold still!” McKenzie instructed. She grabbed my arms. Searing pain ripped through my skin. The small claws felt more like razors as they buried deep into my back. McKenzie slipped her fingers between my shirt and my assailant, prying it from my back. “Let him go, Mackie,” she cajoled in a soothing tone. A little coaxing and the animal was removed, yet the burning remained. “Bad kitty,” she scolded the creature in a praising manner.

  I turned around to find McKenzie holding a small, black kitten with white circles around its eyes. The animal was so tiny that it could’ve easily fit in the palm of my hand. It swished its tail and stared at me through gorgeous green eyes. There was a sense of pride in the kitten’s demeanor. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear that damn cat had acted on command. “Mackie?” I asked, rubbing my hand over the snagged cotton of my shirt.

  Damn it burns!

  “McGonagall,” she responded, scratching behind the kitten’s ears. It was kind of cute that McKenzie named her cat after a Harry Potter character when both of mine were named after Star Wars characters. We really were two peas in a pod. Had I not been in pain and probably bleeding, I would’ve attempted to pet the animal, but in this case, I figured I was safer keeping my distance. With my luck, my hand would be shredded to pieces if I tried to touch her.

  “I’m sorry about this. She got all riled up from me runnin’ around here like a chicken with my head cut off.” She placed the kitten on the floor, who popped her butt in the air while swishing her tail back and forth as she exited the room. “We weren’t expecting company tonight.”

  “Are you sure about that? You did threaten to kick me in the balls a moment ago.”

  Mickie slapped her hand over her face and groaned. “I wasn’t threatening you. I thought you were someone else.” She dropped down onto the sofa, propping her bare feet up on the coffee table. She rested her head back; her eyes meeting the ceiling.

  “I see,” I mumbled, taking a seat next to her. There was a strange heaviness in the air that couldn’t be blamed on the air freshener that still lingered. “So, you were expecting Gage tonight,” I stated.

  A deep sigh escaped her chest, as she dropped her head back against the cushion. “I wasn’t expecting anyone. He called a little while ago, and offered to come over. I told him no, but I figured he decided to come over anyway.”

  “Um, okay,” I elongated my tone in skepticism.

  “Look, it’s not what you think.” She raised her voice in frustration.

  “And what do I think?” I asked, curious as to what her assumptions might be.

  She tilted her head, directing her gaze to me. “You think that I’ve got something going on with Gage. I can see it in your eyes, but you’re wrong. Yeah, we dated in high school, but there’s nothing between us now.” The words flew out of her mouth so fast I almost didn’t understand her. “As a matter of fact...”

  I raised my hand, cutting her off. All of the anger inside me boiled to the surface. I forced myself to breathe, fearing that I’d lose my temper. “Okay!” I vociferated. I pursed my lips, pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose. “Okay,” I repeated, lowering my voice.

  “If you’d just let me finish,” McKenzie protested.

  I shook my head. Anymore information about the oversized behemoth known as Gage and I’d end up punching a hole in the wall.

  We sat in silence while I stewed in my anger. She turned in her seat, facing me. I couldn’t look at her. This was too frustrating. Everyth
ing inside me wanted to get up and leave, and yet I was stuck, unable to move. My heart controlled my body.

  “You should know, however, that Gage was my first.”

  I sat up straight, adjusting to face her, nearly choking on my own saliva. “Your what?” I croaked.

  “You heard me, Andy. My first. But I don’t think of him like that anymore. He’s my friend. That’s it.”

  I swallowed hard and squelched the feelings threatening to overtake me as best as I could. The fucker had touched her. Not only that, but he’d been her first. I hated him before, but I loathed him now. Yet there was nothing I could say. We’re both adults. We’d both had other partners in our lives. But why did this asshole have to be her first?

  “Say something,” McKenzie demanded.

  “I have nothing to say,” I deadpanned.

  She growled in frustration, throwing her hands in the air. “I give up,” she waned. Her fists made contact with the seat cushions, as she sprang from the couch and dashed toward the kitchen area. The fridge opened and I could hear the clattering of glass being extracted from a box. She slammed the refrigerator door and popped the top off of a beer. How she could drink that nasty shit, I didn’t know. I’d never acquired the taste for beer. I didn’t mind the occasional Corona with lime, but even that tasted like piss to me. When I drank, I wanted rum or vodka, not beer.

  She took a deep swig from the amber bottle. “Ahh,” she gasped. She tipped the bottle toward me. “Would you like one?”

  “No, thanks. I haven’t touched a drop since...” my words died on my lips.

  McKenzie licked her lips. Her eyes closed for a brief moment, as she took another deep gulp from the bottle. “Good for you. I’m sure that makes Olivia happy.”

  “I didn’t do it for her.” I watched as she clenched her jaw.

  She placed the beer on the counter and rested her shoulder against the wall. “Either way. I’m sure she’s happy. So, can I get you something? A soda perhaps?”

  I raised my eyebrows up and down, smirking. “Yeah. How about you stop bogarting the smoke I know you have hidden.”

  It was a good thing McKenzie hadn’t taken a drink at the moment because I was certain it would’ve sprayed the room. “I, I, um, I have no idea what you’re referring to.” She shook her head with each syllable.

  I stood up and stretched before inching my way toward her. “Don’t play coy with me, Evans. I know you have a stash here. I can smell it.”

  “Wait! What? No! That’s not possible. I, um, I sprayed.” Her arms flailed around her, as she tried to talk her way out of her deception.

  “Rookie mistake number one,” I teased. I stopped directly in front of her, my smile widening.

  “How? This isn’t possible” she repeated.

  “It is when you have a master here, woman. How do you think I made it through law school?” I reached up and tucked a stray hair behind her ear, allowing my hand to linger on her face.

  She tilted her head, pressing her cheek against my palm. A soft moan escaped her as she relaxed at my touch. “That’s comforting to know.”

  “You can learn much from me, my young Padawan.”

  McKenzie lifted her eyes to meet mine, and laughed. “I’m certain I could, but no one rolls a joint like I do.”

  “Care to make a wager on that?”

  “I’m not Gavin. You can’t sucker me into shit.”

  I leaned in, lightly brushing my lips across her ear, whispering, “Tell me where you keep your stash, and I’ll prove it to you.”

  She blinked in confusion, her brow furrowed as she took me in. “Um, pantry. Second shelf with all the other spices.” I wrapped my fingers around her shoulders, giving her a quick wink.

  “Spice rack. Nice.” I stepped around her, swatting her butt as I passed. She jumped and squeaked, turning around, following me with her eyes. I chuckled, knowing she wouldn’t say a word about my juvenile behavior. “Which bottle?” I asked, rearranging spices.

  “It’s the oregano bottle with the blacked out O. The papers are in the Garfield cookie jar.”

  I located the bottle and the cookie jar and went straight to work. With a butter knife, I crushed the already finely chopped hashish and arranged it along the center of the thin paper. Pressing the reefer into the liner as I rolled, I made sure to make the fattest, tightest joint possible. Satisfied with my handiwork, I placed the tip to my lips, reached for the lighter that McKenzie had placed on the counter, and lit it up, inhaling deeply. I held the smoke in my lungs for a few seconds, letting the narcotic seep into my veins. Almost instantly I felt calmed. All thoughts of Gage and McKenzie melted away. I leaned back against the stove, exhaled the smoke from my lungs and watched as it turned into a cloud haloing around me.

  “Now who’s bogarting?” McKenzie teased. Her fingers brushed the side of my hand, taking the joint from me.

  I watched as she toked it. I couldn’t remember the last time I smoked pot, but I could easily get used to the mellowing effect. “How did I not know this about you?”

  She grinned, taking another drag before handing me the joint. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Andy.”

  I cocked a brow at her, as I took a deep pull from the roll. “Is that so?” I choked and snorted, exhaling the smoke from my lungs.

  She extracted the joint from my fingertips, bringing it her lips. “It is.”

  Mackie bounded onto the bar in front of us. She dropped down into a crouching position, ready to pounce me again. “Hey, now.” I wagged my finger in warning to the feisty feline. “I have two boys at home that wouldn’t take kindly to you being mean to me.” Mackie gave me the most defying look then dropped down to the floor in a huff.

  McKenzie snorted, causing smoke to escape through her nose. I laughed, taking what was quickly becoming a roach from her. “You look like a dragon,” I wheezed through a puff of smoke.

  McKenzie roared, clawing at the air. She accepted the joint back, as she leaned against me. My gaze drifted down her body, taking in the way she looked pressed against my side. She appeared so comfortable and relaxed now. Entirely different than how she’d been only moments earlier. She handed me the joint, closing her eyes and exhaling the smoke into the atmosphere.

  “You Evans’ brood are bad influences on me,” I teased. “First your dad and now you. Where did you come up with the oregano bottle idea though? That’s pretty ingenious.”

  She giggled. “I accidentally learned it from Jackie.”

  “Accidentally?”

  “Yeah. I was cooking dinner at her place one night, and I went for the oregano. I noticed two bottles, but didn’t think anything of it.” I covered my mouth in laughter. I could already see where this was going. “Word to the wise,” she snorted pointing at me, “get it? Wise.”

  I rolled my eyes, nudging her. “Yeah. I get it, silly woman.”

  She waved her hand in front of her face, tears from laughter rolling down her cheeks. “Don’t put weed into spaghetti. Contrary to popular belief, you can’t cook it in everything.” McKenzie snarled and shuddered.

  My head fell back in laughter which was suddenly cut off by the pain that radiated on my back from my earlier assault. “Ow!” I mumbled, thrusting one arm behind me, while holding the joint out in front of me.

  “Oh, let me take a look at that.”

  I turned my back to her, shivering as she lifted my shirt. Her fingers traced the marks on my back. “She got you good. We should probably put something on it.”

  I shook my head, taking another drag. “Nah,” I gulped, holding the smoke in my lungs. I felt so calm, yet at the same time, I felt as though pure energy pulsed throughout my body. The scratches burned, but the pain disappeared the instant McKenzie touched my bare skin.

  “What’s this?” she asked, lifting my shirt a little higher. She caressed my left shoulder blade. I gasped, releasing the smoke from my lungs. “When did you get this?”

  Her fingers moved along the dark lines of my tattoo. It was
a tribute to the two people in this world who mattered most to me. On my shoulder resided an anatomical heart, broken and bleeding, encompassed between angels’ wings. One wing was long and flowing, elegant in beauty. The other wing was shorter, more cherub-like. The wing of a little girl wishing she could fly. They represented my two girls, McKenzie and Autumn, and the broken heart was me.

  “About a month ago or so,” I replied.

  “It’s beautiful.” Her warm breath washed over my skin. I shuddered hard. Having her touch me like this was almost unbearable. There was this ache inside me that had existed since the moment I lost her. It had been with me every second of every day since she left, but the instant she touched me, that ache was gone. Almost like when you have a song stuck in your head. You sing it over and over, trying desperately to get it out of your mind, and finally one day it’s gone. You’re free. I felt free again. There was no pain. Everything was as it should be. This felt right.

  “Thanks.”

  The mood shifted between us. She placed her hands on my hips and turned me to face her. She leveled me with her gaze. I knew this look. God, how I knew this gorgeous expression on her face. It haunted my dreams, both sleeping and awake. Her fingers stayed on my bare skin, slowly moving up, under my shirt. She brushed the tips of her thumbs over my achingly hard nipples, sending sweet shivers down my spine.

  “Fuck, I’ve missed you,” I mumbled.

  The corner of her mouth twitched, as her tongue darted out over her lips. “How much have you missed me?” She didn’t give me a chance to reply, before her hand dropped down to my crotch, cupping my firm erection. I gasped in response. “Mhm, you have missed me.”

  “Yes,” came my guttural reply.