by Mia Hoddell
She hadn’t minded at the time, as she didn’t have a better alternative, but now that she was in her final year, Ellie knew accounting wasn’t going to make her happy. It was too late to change majors, though … at least that’s what she told herself. It was easier than confronting her parents.
Taking a deep breath, Ellie held it for a few seconds before releasing it slowly. As she did, she pushed off the ground, moving over to collect her textbook. The dried leaves crunched beneath her boots, but when she stopped to pick the book up, the rustling continued.
Snapping to attention, Ellie’s eyes scoured the area looking for any sign of another person. When she saw nothing out of the ordinary, she clutched the book under one arm. Then, bringing her free hand up to her lips, she kissed her fingers before brushing them across the cool stone.
“I’m sorry, Gran. I really wish I could do better for you. Please don’t think any less of me.”
The rustling behind her caught her attention again, this time sounding closer. Glancing over her shoulder again, Ellie still saw nothing. I’m being stupid, she thought to herself. She had been coming to her gran’s grave weekly and never once seen another person. However, her ashes had been scattered in a nearby wood, so it wasn’t unlikely that she’d meet someone. It’s probably just a bird, she told herself. However, in her highly strung state, when the distinct sound of a shoe kicking up leaves came again, it made her wary. She wasn’t worried about who it could be, but she didn’t want anyone to see her breaking down. So, not staying long enough to see who or what it was, Ellie hurried home.
CHAPTER TWO
Striding into the hallway, Ellie slammed the front door to her house a little harder than necessary … not that she would apologise, since it had felt good. She caught sight of her mum’s short black hair peering around the corner of the kitchen door, shaking her head in disgust, but Ellie ignored her. At least until she called out behind her as Ellie hurried up the stairs. “Ellie! What’s the matter with you? You know better than to go around slamming doors.”
Ellie continued without stopping, rolling her eyes at her mother’s predictable comment. Of course she was more worried about what the neighbours would think than what was wrong with her daughter. She’d never been the type of parent who created a strong bond with either of her children. She kept her distance except for lectures and reprimands, which irritated Ellie seeing as she was an adult.
Ellie was at the top of the stairs, about to head into her room, when she heard her mum shout, “Luke, go see what’s wrong with your sister!”
With a shake of her head, Ellie marched into her room, muttering under her breath about how typical it was that she would send Luke. Sure, they were close and Ellie would rather talk to him, since he would understand, but it was the fact her mother always passed the responsibility to him that irritated her. And Ellie didn’t want to be disturbed.
As she placed her textbook on the pile of revision notes on her desk, there was a slight, almost hesitant, knock on her door. “Elles? Can I come in?”
With a frustrated groan, Ellie moved over to the door, pulling it open to reveal her brother. She’d made sure to keep the gap only big enough for her head to fit through. “You don’t have to check up on me, I’m fine.”
Luke arched an eyebrow, not needing to clarify what he was asking. Ellie’s tone and frown were enough to convince him she was anything but okay.
“Ugh, fine. Get in here then, it’s not like you’re going to go anywhere. I know you’ll just waltz in no matter what I say.” Turning her back on him, she moved over to her bed and muttered quietly, “Just can’t get any privacy these days. I knew I should have pushed for student accommodation when I started university.”
“What did you say?” Luke shut the door softly behind him before moving over to sit backwards on the wheelie chair at her desk.
“I said: can we get this over with so I can get back to more important thing, like getting ready to go out with my friends in an hour.”
Luke smirked. “That wasn’t what you said, but I’ll go along with it if it makes you happy.”
“Why’d you ask if you already knew?”
Luke shrugged, not bothering to answer her question. Instead, he refocused the conversation. “So where’ve you been?”
“Revising with Gran.” It just slipped out, and Ellie cursed at the way she had made it sound like she was still alive. “I mean, I was in the woods, where we spread her ashes. I thought it would help me being near her. Turns out people really are useless when they’re dead. She couldn’t have hung on for two more months?”
“Don’t say that, Elles, you’ll regret it later. You know she would have done anything for you and it wasn’t her fault. She was eighty-nine for crying out loud.”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. It was just a rough day.”
“Then explain the problem to me. I’m not stupid. Maybe I can help?”
Ellie snorted at the thought of Luke even attempting the most basic of sums in her textbook as she gave him a dubious look. “Yeah right. I know you’re not stupid, but if I can’t even work out the calculations in that book after studying it for nearly three years, I don’t think you’ll be able to help.”
“You’re still struggling with it then?”
Shit, I shouldn’t have said that, she thought, cursing herself for the clue she’d given him.
Too late to take it back and too slow to find another problem she could use as a distraction, Ellie nodded. “I’m falling further behind. I really don’t think accounting is for me,” she said as she slumped down into her bed, the air leaving her body in one breath.
“It’s really that bad?”
Ellie shrugged. “Last year I was passing most things, and now I’m barely scraping by.” When she saw Luke was about to say something, she jumped in quickly. “And don’t you dare tell Mum or Dad that. I’ll figure something out before they know.”
Luke held his hands up, warding off her attack with an innocent face. “I won’t tell them,” the pause didn’t lift Ellie’s spirits, as she knew what was coming next, “but that doesn’t mean I think you shouldn’t. Just go talk to them, Elles. They’ll understand.”
“No they won’t. They want me to graduate and follow them. They have one kid following a dream and that’s enough. I’ll deal with it, all right. I can’t disappoint Gran anyway by failing or dropping out.”
“Elles … don’t do this because you think you owe them something. If it’s making you unhappy, give it up.”
Ellie snorted again in disbelief at Luke’s casual statement. “Easy for you to say. There’s no way they’d allow me to change courses. Think of how much extra that’ll cost them for another three years. They’d never go for it. And they definitely won’t agree to me leaving uni without a degree if that’s what I want.”
“What do you want to do instead? If you give them an alternative and a plan, they may be open to talking.”
“It doesn’t matter what I’d rather be doing, they won’t listen to anything if it doesn’t involve an accounting degree.”
“You won’t know until you talk to them.”
Ellie clenched her fists in the pillow she had placed on her lap, the soft, feathery square acting like an oversized stress ball. She knew it wasn’t Luke’s fault he didn’t understand how their parents treated them differently, but she couldn’t hold in her sarcasm. “Yeah … I do. Here’s how the conversation will go:
Me: Hey Mum, Dad, I’ve decided accounting isn’t the right course for me. I’m failing it without Gran’s help and I’m miserable.
Them: What? You’re failing? How is that possible?
Me: Don’t ask me, you’re the ones who are good at maths, so add up all of the reasons why it could be possible.
Them: Don’t give us an attitude, Ellie.
Me: I’m not, but I did want to run something by you. How would you feel if I changed courses? I really hate what I’m studying.
Them: You’re not switching yo
ur course so close to graduation.
Me: But I’m not going to graduate if I continue this subject.
Them: Of course you are. Don’t be ridiculous. You will graduate and work for us once you leave, eventually taking over the firm when we choose to retire.
Me: But—
Them: No buts, Ellie. You will graduate in the spring.
See? It’s a stupid idea,” Ellie concluded as she watched Luke shake his head, trying to mask the smile at her impersonation.
“You could probably have a bit more tact.”
“It doesn’t matter what I say, Luke. They have my future mapped out and that’s it. They aren’t the same with me as they are with you. You proved yourself early, so now it’s up to me to follow whatever they want. You don’t see half of our arguments as you’re not here. I’m not blaming you, I’m just saying it’s easy to be open-minded about them when you only see their good side.”
Luke was quiet for a minute, resting his head on the back of the chair under his chin as he studied her. “What if I said I’d pay for you to take a new course? Would you talk to Mum and Dad then?” he finally inquired.
“I can’t ask you to do that, Luke. It’s not right. I don’t even think I want to study for another three years.”
“Why? You got me back into skiing, so why can’t I help you with what I’ve earned?” Luke looked offended at the fact she wouldn’t accept his offer.
“Thank you, but it’s too much. I told you I’ll deal with it before they find out. I don’t know how yet, but it’ll all work out in the end.” At least I hope it will, she added silently. Not wanting her face to convey her bluff, she stared down at her lap. Not that it mattered; Luke could see she was going to be stubborn on the point and nothing would change her mind. He knew her well enough not to press the matter.
“Okay, well the offer’s always there. Don’t continue this because you’re afraid to disappoint anyone, Elles. It’s not worth it if you’re unhappy, and if they can’t see that then it’s their problem to deal with. Take the course you want and follow the thing that makes you happy … whatever that may be.”
Ellie arched an eyebrow at him, tilting her head to the side.
“All right, I’ve said my piece. I won’t bug you about it anymore. I’ll leave so you can get ready.” He stood up to walk towards the door, but Ellie called out his name, which stopped him. Turning to face her, he looked at her in question.
“Thanks.” A small smile washed over Ellie’s face and Luke nodded at her.
“Any time. You’d better hurry up if you’re going to be ready in an hour, though. I know what you’re like.”
Glancing at the clock, Ellie’s eyes bulged with the realisation of how little time she had to get ready. Jess and Kayleigh would be picking her up sooner than she thought.
CHAPTER THREE
By the time Kayleigh and Jess arrived, Ellie had managed to pick herself back up and was feeling slightly better … or at least able to act normal. Things were still weighing heavily on her mind, but she refused to let them ruin her night. Instead, she had put on her best figure-hugging skinny jeans, a loose cream top, her favourite fitted jacket, and her black, knee-high boots that had a four inch heel. She completed the outfit with a long, gold necklace that had various beads hanging from the end. Pulling up the sleeves of the black jacket, she added her most used bracelet; it was a simple gold chain with a single gold heart charm. Regardless, it was Ellie’s most favoured piece of jewellery having been a present from her gran. She wasn’t planning on a wild night out, so she trusted it would remain safe. “So where are we going?” Ellie asked her friends as they stood in the hallway. She was planning on tagging along with whatever they decided.
“Well, seeing as I have to be up at five tomorrow for some absurd drama rehearsal, I don’t want to go crazy. We were thinking a few drinks at The Eagle,” Kayleigh said.
Ellie considered it, but before she had time to reply, Luke came bounding down the stairs, a towel in hand as he dried his hair. Thankfully, he was fully dressed; the last thing she needed was to have to discourage her friends’ attention from her taken brother … again. When he paused next to them and grinned, the girls instantly turned to face him, not aware of his intentions like Ellie was—she could read him well.
“That plan doesn’t have anything to do with the fact Aiden will be there tonight, does it?”
Kayleigh blushed, her gaze lowering to the floor as Ellie groaned. “Seriously, Kayleigh? Can’t we go somewhere else?” As much as Ellie liked Aiden—her brother’s friend—she didn’t want to put up with his constant flirting tonight … especially around Kayleigh, who’d had a crush on him for years but never spoken to him.
“It’ll be fun, you’ll see,” Jess butted in before Ellie could say anything more.
“Are you going to be there, Luke?”
“Nah, I’m staying in with Amy tonight. She’s forcing me to cook for her.” Luke tried to feign reluctance, but Ellie could see in his eyes he didn’t mind one bit. Apart from skiing, Luke loved cooking, and Amy hadn’t missed a trick in getting him to make dinner for her regularly. Ellie knew there was a story behind why he wouldn’t let her do anything in the kitchen, but she had yet to find out why all Amy was allowed to touch was the salad.
“Some girls get all of the luck,” Jess muttered, causing Luke to laugh and shake his head. He was used to how they treated him.
“Come on, let’s go before Amy gets here and sees you drooling,” Ellie said, trying to shoo them out of the door with a heavy sigh. Looks like it’s going to be one of those nights, she thought as Jess frowned at her.
When they were stepping out the door, Luke called after them, “Oh, if you want to find Aiden he’ll be in the bar playing pool. You know his usual spot, Elles.”
Ellie turned to glare at him, trying to convey a ‘what the hell?’ message with her eyes. She didn’t want to see him, and Luke knew that by the smug look on his face.
“You should talk to him, Kayleigh, he’s not that scary.”
Kayleigh blushed again, just shrugging, and with that Ellie grabbed hold of the handle. “Okay … we’re going now.” She shut the door behind them, once again slamming it a bit too hard, saving Kayleigh from having to deal with her overconfident brother. Kayleigh wasn’t the type of person to approach people; it was part of the reason they were stuck following Aiden around. Reluctantly, she went along with it. A night out was still a night out and Ellie needed the laugh.
* * * *
It didn’t take long to reach the local pub, or find the section of the bar Aiden was in. The place was quieter than it would be on a weekend, and because it was still early, it had yet to fill up. There were a few crowds of students, but most were the regulars who were the first in when the doors opened and the last out when they shut. Not giving her friends a chance to scout out a spot, Ellie pulled them over to a corner by the bar. If her prediction for how the night was going to go was accurate, Ellie wanted to remain as inconspicuous as possible. Having a wall to her back meant she could see what was coming towards her at all times … hopefully.
The pool tables were in a separate, less crowded room, so moving around was easier. It also meant Ellie could people watch better. Like the girls, she’d easily spotted Aiden; he was leaning over the table, carefully lining up a shot. His eyes were narrowed as he studied the angles and how much force to use. Ellie watched him sink the ball, and caught sight of the two twenties on the edge of the table as she turned her attention to the barman, not wanting him to see her.
Kayleigh and Jess had already ordered their drinks, the man placing two bottles of beer on the bar before looking at Ellie expectantly. After she’d ordered the same, he retrieved a bottle and placed it before her. She was just about to reach out for it when a hand on her shoulder and a voice she didn’t want to hear made her flinch.
“Ellie! Can’t keep away from me, can you? I knew you secretly liked me.”
Ellie scowled as she turned to face him.
From the corner of her eye she saw Kayleigh’s cheeks turn crimson and her head bow, refusing to look at him.
“Yeah, it must be your charming personality …” Ellie replied dryly.
He shook his head at her, not deterred. “You’ll admit it one day.”
“I doubt it.”
He grinned. “So what brings you out here if it’s not me?”
“Rough day, needed a drink. How much have you won so far?” Ellie nodded her head in the direction of the pool table to distract him from asking questions.
“A hundred and fifty. People aren’t betting big tonight … there’re no newcomers, so they know me.”
Ellie laughed at his bad luck.
“You should talk to your brother, tell him I need him back and to stop spending so much time with his girl. Seriously, I can’t handle dragging my cousin around anymore. He doesn’t do anything.”
“You’ve got his number, talk to him yourself. And for the record, I like Amy better than you.”
Aiden pretended to look wounded as Ellie glanced over his shoulder, trying to see who he meant was his cousin.
“Which one is he then?”
“Who?”
“You’re cousin, dumbass.”
“Over my right shoulder. The one with the big glasses, geeky shirt, and a phone fixed permanently in front of him.”
Ellie couldn’t help but smile as she saw him. He wasn’t bad looking, really; he just hid it under everything and didn’t look like he belonged. “Bit different from you, isn’t he? I’m surprised you let him out like that. Didn’t think you’d want him ruining your image,” she teased, knowing what Aiden was like with his reputation.