The way he makes me feel and the sexy words he speaks to me make me want to give it back. These two-word praises seem to be all I can get out while he fucks me senseless. Burke leans over so he hovers over my body on the bed. His hands go to my wrists and he brings them up over my head, pinning them to the mattress. In return, I arch my back and draw him closer to me with my legs, digging my heels into the muscles of his ass, which are constricting with each thrust he makes.
For the second time, my orgasm builds. I didn’t know it was possible to come this many times in one day, but I don’t second-guess it. Death by orgasm sounds like a good way to go. I strain to keep my eyes open while I come, I know he’s close, and I don’t want to miss the look on his face when he finishes. My hands dig into his in an effort to keep my eyes focused on his. It proves hard while falling over my peak.
As I’m coming down from my orgasm, Burke’s is just beginning. My pussy clenches from the aftershocks of my high, and he twitches and stirs inside me. Burke throws his head back as he continues thrusting. It’s carnal, and then, I feel him swell and pulse as he comes.
His pace slows, but he continues to move in and out of me a few more times. I tighten the hold my legs have on him, not wanting him to leave me. He pants and swears as my muscles grip him. His post-orgasm face is the best expression I’ve ever seen. For a man who doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, in this moment, his expression is open and vulnerable. He looks happy, content, and carefree. His eyes have lost their dark edge as his hands travel down the length of my body. His smirk is sexy and hints at how much he enjoyed this time between us. This may be my favorite time spent with him because his defenses are completely down. With me.
Burke remains inside me while we catch our breath and enjoy being with one another for a little while longer. He presses his weight against me to now rest his legs. Sweat covers us both.
“You’re so beautiful.” His words whisper against my ear in the quiet room. They sound like they hold so much meaning beyond their simple definitions. His hands roam my skin in an affectionate gesture. I can’t help but to feel adored. During a day that has been more than difficult, this man brings me peace.
Burke
It was easy to convince her to leave the hotel, at least for tonight. The two orgasms probably made her less argumentative. I know she’s concerned about staying with me, and I completely understand. Normally, I’d even agree, but we’re dealing with issues that are dangerous. Besides, my house has six bedrooms, so if she doesn’t want to sleep in mine, she has plenty of other choices. I don’t want her to, but she could. We don’t know exactly what we’re dealing with, and whoever is orchestrating this has involved Paisley. It would be more than a stupid move to leave her vulnerable in some shitty hotel by herself.
“Do you want to tell me what happened with Braelyn?”
The ride home has been pretty quiet but I figure we have some stuff to discuss.
“Yeah. I guess so. Braelyn . . . wait, how do you know her real name?”
Fair question, and something I’m happy she picked up on. It shows she has a healthy amount of suspicion. “Kai and I did a background check on her after the warehouse was broken into. She was someone new hanging around. We needed to exhaust any possible leads.” I let her digest that before I give her the whole truth. “In full disclosure, you should know I also ran one on you.” Her body tenses. She remains quiet while she processes. I hate that she turns her face from mine to look out the window. I can’t see her expression.
“I don’t really like that you probably know things about me before I am comfortable enough to tell you myself, but given the situation, what you did makes sense.” Her face turns again, and her eyes return to mine. She’s a bit guarded. I understand she’s probably a little taken off guard. “Did you find anything in Braelyn’s background check?”
“No. Nothing that you probably don’t already know and nothing to pique my interest concerning what’s been going on.”
Her fingers tap the jean fabric covering her knee.
“A part of me wishes you found something that would explain the way she’s acting.”
“What happened between you two this morning?”
“Try not to take offense to this, but she seems to have an unreasonable obsession with keeping me away from you. She practically forbade me from seeing you after that day she brought me to your house, and when she found out I stayed at your place last night, she freaked. I don’t really understand it. I think she may be overreacting to cover up something else. The only thing I can think of is she’s using drugs. She showed some signs, and she’s not acting like herself.” She pauses to take a deep breath. I wait for her to continue. “She was so angry this morning, screaming and calling me a whore. Before I even knew what was happening, she was telling me she wanted me out and that she was done with me. Her final words seemed so resolute and honest. It was as if her kicking me out was something she had wanted to do for a long time or something.”
I hate that their fight was over me, but Paisley is probably right about there being something bigger behind it. The reasons for fights like that often run far deeper than the face value of the words used.
“Do you think it’s repairable?”
“I don’t really know yet.” Her voice slashes at my heart. That unnerves me. I shouldn’t care that this girl beside me is sad, but I can’t stand to hear her like this. Without thinking about it too much, I know I never wanted to do anything to make her sound like that. Whatever this is between us—sex, lust, friendship, survival, whatever—I can’t treat this like I normally would. I might not be made for someone like her, but I have to be careful with her. I promise myself I’ll do everything to protect her from what’s going on in my life but also to protect her from any destruction I could cause.
This real life game of Clue is messing with my fucking head.
Teagan is cooking dinner when we arrive back at the house. There’s music lightly playing in the kitchen and the smell of meatloaf is wafting toward me. Neither her nor I are very skilled in the kitchen, but Kai’s mother’s meatloaf is the one dish Teagan practiced over and over again to be able to make it perfect for him. Personally, I don’t care for it since it’s glorified hamburger, but Kai did have a particularly difficult day, so I’m glad she did this for him. The relationship between those two is odd. I often wonder whether they would have ended up together if they’d met in a different lifetime or if we were in a different situation. But in reality, she’s too young for him and “too” a lot of other things for him as well. It’s not that I don’t think Kai is good enough for my sister, it just isn’t what this life has dealt for them.
Paisley trails behind me, seemingly uncomfortable intruding on our surroundings. Wanting her to relax, I grab her hand and pull her closer to my side as I walk. I keep her hand in mine and give it a little squeeze. I don’t think I’ve held a girl’s hand since Teagan was a child.
Paisley smiles warmly at me.
Teagan turns to face us as she realizes she has company, and I stifle a laugh. She’s sporting an apron, and the front of it is covered in what I assume is ketchup. At least, I hope it is. Her hair is pulled back in a rumpled mess. She’s a bit flustered being outside her realm of comfort. She looks from me, to Paisley, to our joined hands. A smile graces her face that showcases the depths of her dimples. She’s gloating with that look, thinking she’s right about the conversation we had earlier.
“Hello, you two! I’m cooking dinner and trying not to burn the house down.”
Teagan goes back to cooking while she’s talking to us in an obvious rush. I’d offer to help her, but I’d really only get in the way.
“Do you need some help? I’m not too bad in the kitchen.” Paisley lets go of my hand and steps closer to the mess Teagan has piling up. There are dishes and ingredients covering the span of the countertops.
“I’d love some. I have to handle the actual cooking to make sure I get this recipe right, but if you want to hel
p clean up around me as I go and help set the table, I’d be eternally grateful.”
“Have you talked to Kai since . . .” I can’t bring myself to finish.
“He hasn’t come out of his room. I went in there earlier, but he didn’t seem to want to talk. So I’m down here making meatloaf.” Teagan answers without looking away from what she’s doing.
Like it’s second nature, I move to where Paisley is already busy washing dishes in the sink, put my arms around her midsection, and kiss the side of her face. She returns my gesture by swiping her hand across my cheek, leaving a soapy trail on my skin and then trying to hold back her laughter. Not minding in the least, I step away from her to go retrieve a towel but pinch her ass before I go. It seems I can’t keep from touching her. Especially her ass.
I can already feel the heaviness take over as I leave the kitchen. Paisley is a great distraction, it was only hours ago a man was killed in this very house. I’ve been a little lost between Paisley’s thighs for the better part of the afternoon, but that truth is still there. He is still there—literally. We have a lot to sort out and things will most likely get worse before they get better.
Loud music vibrates the walls as I approach Kai’s side of the house. Knocking on the door produces no answer from him, which then causes me to do something I wouldn’t normally do—intrude on his personal space. I slowly open his door, ignoring his refusal to acknowledge my request to come in. Kai lies on his bed atop the covers with his eyes closed. There is no way he’s sleeping with the volume of the music, but he doesn’t stir, so I flip the switch on his sound system to mute the music.
“You good, man?”
It’s a stupid question. Obviously he’s not thrilled after killing a man, but it’s an icebreaker formality type of question. I take a seat in a chair in the corner of the room as Kai opens his eyes and tilts his head to look over at me.
“Fucking peachy, bro.”
He swings his legs around to sit up and runs his hands over his face. I hate what this situation is doing to us. When I get my hands on the fucker responsible, he’s going to feel major pain before I end him. I think I hate the mystery of it the most, not knowing who my anger is really directed at.
“I called the prison today to find out what we need to do to get visitation with Parker. Turns out he really has been expecting us, because we’re both already on the pending list. He already turned in information requesting our approval that would have required him to know all sorts of personal stuff about us. Our requests are still pending because we both have juvenile rap sheets. We’ll be notified when we’re approved.”
I wasn’t expecting him to say that. Even at his lowest, he’s already figuring out our next move.
“Is there a chance we won’t be approved?”
“I guess there’s always a chance for anything, especially right now. But the guy I spoke with said we’d likely be approved because neither of us are currently on probation, and it’s been a long time since either of us has been arrested.”
This is all good to hear, I guess. Except the part about Parker knowing enough personal information about the both of us to fill out detailed forms without ever meeting us, at least to our knowledge. We’ll deal with all this tomorrow. For today, we’ve both had enough. I came in to make sure Kai was holding up after what happened earlier.
“Do you want to talk about what happened today?” Do I want to talk it out? Nope. Talking shit out isn’t really in my nature. I’ve been doing all sorts of shit that isn’t like me lately, so I might as well keep up the trend.
“No, man. I’m good. Did that shit today feel good? Fuck no. But it had to be done. Did I snap a little? Yeah, I did, but I’ve worked it out. My head is in the game. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m on top of it.”
Kai seems out of the fog he’d been in when I left him this morning. That’s a good sign. He needed some space to clear his head, all while still thinking ahead, calling the prison. I think that’s a clear enough sign Kai is not the one I need to worry about.
“Paisley is here. Braelyn kicked her out this morning. She’s going to stay for a bit while we figure shit out.”
Kai raises his eyebrow, showing his skepticism. “Do you need to talk, man?” He’s holding back laughter and doing a horrible job of looking serious. Happy to have lightened the mood a little, I can’t help my own laugh from bursting free. I stand and move so I can land a jab to his shoulder.
“Shut the hell up and let’s go see if dinner is ready.” Kai follows behind me as I head back to the kitchen. It’s been a while since we all sat down for a meal together, and tonight we’ll be joined by Paisley. I’ve already seen she gets along with both Teagan and Kai, but we’ve never all interacted together when I wasn’t being a complete asshole to her. I can’t believe she even gave me the time of day after I insinuated she was a prostitute. Looking back, I can’t believe I ever thought she was.
Kai and I stop once the girls are in view. They are dancing. Teagan sings into an imaginary microphone while Paisley jams out on an air guitar to some eighties hair band song. The two of them look ridiculous but happier than I’ve seen either of them look lately. I love how well the two of them seem to get along. In the middle of a guitar solo, Paisley notices us watching them and stops mid-strum. A blush gently spreads across her face, and Teagan looks to us to see what stopped Paisley in her tracks.
Teagan isn’t intimidated by having an audience, especially us, and when the vocals come back, she ups her game and sings louder and with more attitude. Paisley breaks out into hysterical laughter as my sister steps up to serenade her, invading her personal space and making wild gestures with her free hand. Once the song ends, Teagan turns down the music and looks at us like she didn’t just give the performance of the year and, with a serious face, asks us if we’re ready to eat.
It hits me like a ton of fucking bricks. The reason doing things like holding Paisley’s hand and kissing her feels normal. Feels right. The protectiveness I feel over her. My addiction to her. My need for more of her. The reason Kai and my sister see something different.
She’s different. I’m different with her. I want to explore that.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
What the fuck am I saying?
I realize in that moment that this thing with Paisley isn’t some meaningless fuck with an expiration date. There is a reason I couldn’t take my eyes off her when I saw her across the room at that party. There was a reason I was pissed when I thought she was a whore. The real reason I tried to stay away from her. There has been a reason for all of it. Subconsciously I’ve known all along. I want Paisley. I want her to be mine. Whatever that means. I think I’ve known all along that once I started to let her in, I wouldn’t be able to push her away. I don’t want to. I want to get to know her and learn what makes her tick, what she likes and dislikes. I want to make her smile and laugh. Simply, I want her near me.
Can I really do this? Especially in the middle of everything else going on? Can I be the man who wants more than a quick fuck with an easy escape route?
I guess time will tell. If I want Paisley in my life, then I need to be a man she deserves. I need to stop worrying about if I can be that man and do everything to make it happen.
I wash up at the sink lost in my emotional fucking epiphany before returning to the dining room where Paisley and Kai already sit. Teagan is putting the last of the food on the table to be served family-style. Kai realizes Teagan has cooked his favorite and he’s smiling from ear to ear. I take the free seat next to Paisley and rest my hand on her leg. I recognize the automatic move to have my hands on her but try not to overthink it. A minute later Teagan joins us and takes her own seat.
“Wish and be thankful.” Teagan looks around the table as she mentions our dinner time ritual. There was so much about Teagan’s childhood that wasn’t normal. She spent so much of her early years alone and the later part being d
ropped into the custody of two men who were barely adults and had no clue what they were doing.
The first ten years of her life were spent with people who weren’t cut out to be parents. Teagan and I were, at best, an afterthought to them. Yet, there was no animosity or evil in our house. Our parents were just neglectful and spent most of their time out of the house. Even when they were home, they barely acknowledged us. It was never something I gave much thought to until I was older. I was a teenager with all the freedom in the world to do whatever the fuck I wanted.
I think it was harder for Teagan, especially after I moved out and she was left alone. It makes me feel like an asshole, but I was a teenager and my mind wasn’t on spending time with my little sister. It was on pussy and whatever could get me high.
Then they died, and I told Kai I was going to take her in. I figured he would either move out, or I’d have to find a new place to live. He looked at me as if I were fucking crazy, which I assumed was because he thought I was insane to take her. What the fuck did I know about raising a ten-year-old girl? Not much, and I’d learn how little I really knew about it ten times over in the years that followed. Kai, however, surprised the shit out of me, and I believe his words were something like, “Fuck you, dude! I’m not going anywhere, and we’re bringing Teagan home.”
We tried to do our best by her. We attempted to normalize her life in any way we could. We couldn’t give her a mother and father or put her hair in pigtails or keep her one hundred percent oblivious from our criminal ways, but we tried to do things normal, happy families did. It was our way of giving her a childhood. We started this dinner time tradition from almost the very beginning of Teagan coming to live with us as a way for us to get her to tell us her needs without her really knowing she was doing it. We were clueless how to raise a little girl and took every advantage we could get.
Growing up, we’d ask Teagan to tell us one thing she wished for and one thing she was thankful for before every meal, and we’d take a turn as well. During the early days it helped us figure out she had grown too big for items of clothing and needed new ones, that she was having problems at school with a bully, or when she finally told us she needed to shop for her first bra. Long gone were the days of tricking Teagan into telling us things, but we still continue the tradition, our meals together just aren’t as often anymore.
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