“Why did he hurt my son?” Kendalee asked. “Simon, I mean? How can God allow that to happen? And the fire? Why couldn’t God keep him safe for me? I’ve been a faithful servant all these years. Don’t I get some kind of break for that?”
Father McLennan led her across the street. “Ah. If only it were that simple, Kendalee. God loves all children equally. Those who serve Him more or attend church more don’t get special treatment. You know that.”
She snatched her hand from her priest’s. “Then tell me this. How exactly is he helping me right now? In what way should I be feeling his many blessings that are meant to rain down on the righteous, or whatever that Bible quote is? Because I am not feeling anything.”
Father McLennan stopped on the street and turned to look at her. “I can’t tell you how to feel, Kendalee. I can only tell you what I see. I see God’s plan at work in you. I doubt there is a more concerned, loving mother doing her best to keep herself and her son together than you are. I see the will of God in the many doctors, nurses, firefighters, paramedics, and all the other people fighting in Daniel’s corner. I see the tribute to God’s glory in the donations that are made to this wonderful hospital we have here in Toronto, with arguably one of the best children’s burn units in North America. God’s work is all around you right now, Kendalee. And He is giving you the strength to rise above this. To keep Daniel afloat.”
Tears stung her eyes for the second time that day. “I’m not sure I’m ready for this yet, Father.”
“That is when you need the church the most. Let us take the burden when you can’t, Kendalee. I’ll leave you to your thoughts.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
“I got you this.” Elliott threw the MTV goody bag onto the bed next to Daniel, only to realize the kid was half asleep.
“Hey,” Daniel mumbled groggily. “I’m gonna get a dinosaur and shove it in the car.”
Elliott laughed. “You’re gonna do what?”
Daniel rubbed his face then closed his eyes again. “Dinosaurs need Kraft dinner.”
Shannon, Daniel’s occupational therapist walked in behind him. “They’re like this sometimes when they’ve been given a large dose of pain meds. The line between dreams and reality becomes a little blurred. They say all kinds of things, but we advise against recording it,” she added swiftly, looking at the phone in his hand. “They’re in too much of a vulnerable state.”
He shook his head. “I wasn’t going to,” he said, a touch offended that she’d even mentioned it, slipping his phone into his pocket.
“You’d be surprised what ends up on the internet. Kids coming down from anesthesia, when they are at their most vulnerable, only to be mocked online for the rest of the school year thanks to their parents.”
She said it so forcefully, so passionately, Elliott was suddenly relieved she was one of Daniel’s healthcare team. It was good to know how much she looked out for her patients. “Just got back from New York and wanted to see the kid.”
“Well, that’s a good thing,” Shannon said with a smile.
She left the room, and Elliott was left alone with his thoughts and a sleeping boy. “How’re you doing, buddy? Taking care of yourself and your mom?”
“He told me I look good for my age, and that was before the meds,” he heard from behind him.
He laughed and patted Daniel’s head. “I think you’re right, Daniel,” he said.
“Sweet talker,” Kendalee said, walking up alongside him.
He took her hand in his and turned to see her. “God. I missed you,” he said, taking in those all-seeing green eyes of hers. He cupped her cheek and gently placed his lips to hers. She tasted of coffee and sugar and, best of all, his home. Which was fucking insane after only three weeks of knowing her.
She gripped his wrist, not tugging him away, just simply holding on, and kissed him back. “I missed you too, but I thought you weren’t due back until tonight.”
Elliott grinned. “I wasn’t, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you so I bailed out early to surprise you.”
It was the truth. The texts they’d exchanged over the time away hadn’t been enough. And he’d noticed that without her, the negative spiral of thoughts had started to build again.
“Did you win? I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to watch. My battery life is chronic. I left the charger at your house, which is rare for me, and it just seemed like more hassle to go back and get it. I need to—”
“Slow down, honey. Have you been taking care of yourself?” he asked, concerned that she’d used up every ounce of her energy on Daniel. He placed his hands on her waist, which felt a little narrower since he’d last seen her.
“I’m fine,” she said, but it came out on a sigh. Which told him everything he needed to know.
“Kendalee. You know you’ve got—”
“Imma need to feed the dinosaur before school.”
Quickly, Kendalee jumped away from his hold on her waist. While Elliott understood intellectually that it was likely for the best, he couldn’t ignore the way his gut tightened at the gesture. He didn’t want to be her dirty little secret.
“He’s always like this when he’s had extra-powerful pain medication. Rambles as he sleeps it off.” She stepped closer to the bed and took Daniel’s hand. “Hey, sweetheart, Mom’s here,” she said, brushing the hair from his forehead.
Daniel’s eyes flickered open. “The dinosaur?”
“Those dinosaurs can get a bit rowdy, right? Wake up, Daniel. Elliott came to see you.”
Elliott had to smile as Daniel lazily turned his eyes toward him. “Hey, dude. How are you feeling?”
Daniel grinned in response and then closed his eyes again.
“What happened? Why did he need the extra meds?” Elliott asked, placing a hand on Kendalee’s shoulder. He needed to touch her, to ground himself.
“Dressing change,” she said, tilting her head in the direction of the bandages wrapped around Daniel’s legs. “They’re going to be fitting him for his pressure garments soon.”
He reached out and held her ponytail, allowing the silky strands to fall through his fingers. “Is that a good thing?”
Kendalee stood, and placed her hands on his hips, a smile gracing those perfect pink lips. “It’s the best news. No more grafts. No more surgery—for now, at least. Although he may need some further down the road. But the pressure garments need to be worn all day, with the exception of an hour for bathing, for the next year.”
“Well, that does sound like good news.” Elliott thought about their readiness for Daniel to come out of hospital. He’d need a room, full-time care maybe? Private therapists. “When will he be released?”
“The doctors think in the next week or two. There’s still a risk of infection, and a bunch of healing still to do. They have to wean him off the drugs he’s on and do some more physical and occupational therapy for a while. That sort of thing. Then he’ll have to come back every few days to have his dressings changed.”
“We should start to think about all the shit he’s going to need when he gets out,” Elliott murmured out loud.
Kendalee shook her head. “I appreciate that, Elliott, but you’ve already helped me more than you can imagine. Thank you for hiring me a lawyer.” She stepped up onto her tiptoes and placed a kiss against the side of his lips, then quickly looked back at Daniel, likely checking he was still asleep. “It’s too much, and you know it, but I’m meeting with Ross Wolesley today before I go into work because I really need his help. He managed to squeeze me in.
“That’s good news. And you’re welcome.”
“I think he could tell how desperate I was.” Kendalee glanced at the clock. “Shit.” Quickly, she grabbed her phone and glanced at the screen and then back at Daniel. “I was hoping Daniel would be more lucid by now. I should call and cancel.”
He studied her as she pulled her No Frills uniform from her bag. He could see the dark circles under her eyes. Judging by the pile around her bed, she hadn’t
been home, his home, since he’d left. Elliott gripped her wrist to stop her from tearing around the room like a tornado. “Lee, remember how I said I was going to help?”
Kendalee looked down at the gentle hold he had on her. “Can we talk about it later? I have to—”
“No. That’s what I am saying. I’ll stay with him. You go. You need the help.”
She put her hands on her hips and cricked her neck from left to right. “Goddamn, I’m sorry. I know you only came back to surprise me, and now I have to dash off. I can’t ask you to stay with Daniel too. I’ll cancel.”
“Please, Kendalee. Just stop. I said I’d help, whatever that takes. And I think you should quit your job.”
Kendalee scoffed. “Like I could. If Daniel is getting out soon, I need to get some money underneath us. Use this time to try to get a cushion to enable me to take time off when he gets out and needs me most.”
Elliott placed his hands on either side of her face and kissed her deeply. Long and slow, firm. With everything he had, he tried to physically stop the whirring thoughts, hold off on the to-do list, kill the worry. Then he pulled away. “Are you ready to listen to me, Lee?”
Her bottom lip pouted a little. “I’m sorry,” she said, petulantly. “I have priorities.”
“Come sit down.” He took her hand and led her to her bed where they both sat.
“I need to get ready to go.”
“I know you do,” Elliott said, patiently. “Listen to what I say before you say no, okay?”
Kendalee sighed. “Fine.”
“I want you to quit your job and—”
“Weren’t you listening? I can’t just—”
“Yes, you can, Kendalee. How much do you earn a week after tax?”
She rolled those delightful eyes of hers, and he had to bite back a grin. “About two fifty.”
He did the math in his head. “That’s what, a grand a month? Over the course of a year, it’s twelve grand.”
Kendalee nodded her head. “That’s a lot of money for Daniel and me. I can’t rely on Adrian to come through for us. Or the insurance. And it’s still unclear what, if any, charges will be brought against Daniel for the fire. Arson.”
The word made Elliott’s chest tighten. Ever since his conversation with Daniel about what burning alive felt like, and his night in the bathroom, he’d been feeling different about fire. For the first time in his life, the chaos of destruction didn’t seem quite so attractive, and he didn’t know what to do about it. Or how to relieve the stress in his chest.
“Elliott?” Kendalee said, and he shook his head to clear the thoughts.
“I’m going to stay here with Daniel while you go to the lawyer. Call me when it’s done, and I’ll come get you. I’m driving you to my bank, where I am going to transfer twenty thousand dollars to your account. The money is yours to do whatever you want with. And then I’m driving you over to No Frills where you can quit. For at least a year. While you take care of you and Daniel without having—”
“Elliott, you can’t—”
He pressed his lips to hers again. He kind of liked that it was the only way he could shut her up. In fact, he looked forward to shutting her up this way for a long while to come. “Lee. Listen. I can afford it. If it makes you feel better to know my financial status, I’ll go the bank to print out a balance and show you, but I’m worth over eight figures. Let me do this.”
Kendalee ran her fingers over her No Frills uniform. “They’ve been wonderful to me, though. Fabio gave me a job when I was desperate.”
“Yeah, and you nailed your . . . what was it? Items per minute? Scanning like a pro for him all that time.” His comment made Kendalee laugh as he intended. “You can always go back to it if you love doing it and really want to. But let me give you this time to do the right thing by Daniel—and more importantly yourself.”
“I don’t know,” she said, carefully. It solved a lot of her problems but caused others. “You paying for the lawyer was one thing. It’s something real and tangible that we need. But accepting a large amount of money just seems greedy. I learned the hard way with Adrian that money often comes with strings. What happens if this doesn’t . . . What if we call it quits six months from now and—”
“Nothing. Nothing happens. Because this is a gift. To you.” While her lack of certainty about the two of them frustrated him, he understood the need to protect herself. “I don’t get to take it back and if it makes you feel better, I’ll sign a contract to that effect.”
Kendalee sat silently for her moment. He wondered whether she was even aware that she was sliding her hand up and down his thigh. It was as comforting to him as he hoped the action was to her, and he placed his hand over hers.
“Would you consider writing that contract as a loan?” she asked.
Fuck, he didn’t want to. But if it was what she needed to accept it, he would. And when she paid him back, he’d put it into an education fund for Daniel and hand it off to him when he was old enough.
“If that’s what it takes to get you to accept it, yes.”
Kendalee smiled. “You’re a good man, Elliott Dawson.”
“I haven’t always been,” he answered honestly. “And at some point in the future we should talk about that,” he said, his stomach tightening at the thought of telling her everything. But he couldn’t go on in limbo, worrying about what would happen.
When he looked into her eyes, he hated to see the extra layer of worry that he knew he’d put there.
“Are you okay?” she asked, placing a hand on his cheek.
He leaned into her hand. “I’m better with you. And I guess that’s all that really matters for now.”
“I want to be there . . . for you. Like you are for me. Don’t feel like just because of the stuff going on in my life that you can’t share with me the stuff going on in yours.”
It was impossible to put any kind of measure on her words. “I intend to. Just not right now in the middle of all this.”
“Mom,” Daniel called out, and while Kendalee moved to his bedside, she didn’t jump away from Elliott like she had at first.
For now, he’d take any the progress he could get.
* * *
I hope you don’t think you are sleeping up there alone.
Kendalee looked at the phone she’d just placed on the dresser in her room at Elliott’s. After a rather fractious series of meetings with Adrian and the rest of Daniels’ team, they’d agreed to try to reconnect father and son. Of course, Daniel had lost his mind when she told him about the decision, but after much talking between the two of them, she’d gotten him to a place where he’d agreed to let his father into his room as long as he could ignore him. But he’d made two stipulations. The first was that she gave him some space that evening. The idea of leaving him alone a fraction of a second more than she needed to hurt, but she understood. When she’d tried to suggest Rachel stay over, he’d refused. The second stipulation was that he wanted Elliott there when he met with his dad.
Kendalee had no idea how she was going to hide her feelings for Elliott from the only man with whom she’d shared anything remotely similar. Adrian would see straight through her, though she couldn’t make her mind up whether she cared. The only thing she knew for certain was that none of them could let it affect Daniel in any way.
After seven straight nights at the hospital, she was ready for a decent night’s sleep in a bed big enough for a full-grown human. And a long shower. And if she was completely honest, after spending time with Elliott at the hospital, she needed the kind of release that only came from great sex.
Give me an hour and I’ll come find you. x
As long as you promise you’re okay.
She loved that he cared. I’m fine. Top 5 things you’re going to do to me . . . go!
While Elliott answered her questions, she was going to take care of herself. She scrubbed herself clean under the shower, washing her hair even though she knew it would take an age to dry, and sha
ving everywhere that mattered. Once out, she covered herself with the scented body cream that had arrived in a beautifully wrapped care package from someone named Lexi, who was apparently Jordan’s girlfriend. She was looking forward to meeting the rest of the band and their partners.
Kendalee wrapped herself in the luxurious silk robe Elliott had bought for her, and as she sat in front of the mirror to blow-dry her hair in sections until it shone, she thought about what Father McLennan had said. There was goodness and help all around her. She’d had a coughing fit when she’d overheard Daniel ask Elliott if the guitar Lennon had given him really was worth thousands of dollars. And Fabio had been incredibly gracious when she had told him she was quitting. He’d kissed her on the cheek and told her he was happy that she had the financial freedom to leave.
It had made her a little uncomfortable, the idea that a man she had only just met had loaned her so much money. Even more so that he’d deposited the money in her account before they had signed a contract for the loan. But she’d done it for Daniel. And in her heart, she trusted Elliott to honor their agreement.
She straightened her hair until it hung in a shiny cascade over her shoulders, then slipped out of the robe and into the nightdress. If her budget weren’t tight, she’d buy some sexy underwear instead of whatever was on sale at Joe, the clothing department in the Superstore, but she had other priorities. Elliott would just have to take her as she was.
Kendalee padded back into the bedroom and picked up her phone.
Cover you in oil.
Massage you.
Wake you up with ice cubes on your clit.
Tie you to my bed.
Fuck you.
How does that sound?
Her cheeks flushed bright red as she tightened her thighs. Oh God. She placed her phone back down on the dresser. Never in a million years would she have written something quite so . . . explicit. But she found herself liking it . . . and curious. The closest she’d ever come to ice on her clit was wearing tights in February. Adrian had never been adventurous. And as for kink, making it halfway through Fifty Shades of Grey had been her limit before it had cruelly reminded her of just how little passion there was in her marriage.
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