“I need to go to your grave. Everything I do needs to be normal or this will all be for nothing.” I know he feels me pulling away not only physically, but emotionally. I need to get my shit together, and I need a little space. “I’ll have someone drive you.” I nod, because there is no way that I actually want to go there alone.
He leaves the room, and I rush through a getting ready routine. Throwing myself together, and into the most comfortable outfit the girls have bought me. I look around, but I know I won’t find what I need. I head into the main bar to find a bottle of tequila. Brantley comes up behind me as he says, “Uh, I don’t think that’s really a good idea.” I swing around to face him, “It’s not for me.” He shoots me a smile as he realizes what I was doing. “I forgot. I’m taking you, so do we need to stop and get you some skittles?” I nod, “Yes, but if I don’t eat something first they may not get left there.” He laughs as I hear, “What’s funny?” I shake my head at Trance, and Brantley just smiles.
“We have to go, and I need to go to Mel’s office to get some work done.” Brantley gives me a look that says I may not get my way with this. “What?” Trance steps up, “Can you work here?” I shake my head, “I need space, Trance. I can’t just jump back into all of this. We aren’t together, and I need to work. I can’t do that if you’re in my face.”
He gets closer, “I thought we were working this out?” I nod, “We are, I just don’t know what that entails. You need to give me time to work this out on my own.” He nods, “I can do that in part. I will stop at nothing to keep the two of you safe, and if that means you need to setup shop to work here then that’s what you need to do.” Great.
Luckily for me, Brantley steps up, “I have guys on Mel’s office. I’ll take her over there after our stop, and then I’ll double their protection.” I look to Trance with pleading eyes, and I know he reluctantly agrees. I walk away before he can try to say goodbye. I need to start the distance right away. Brantley guides me out to the car, and I hop in the passenger side. He drives to the store and guides me through getting some breakfast and some skittles.
We make it to the cemetery, and Brantley does a once over before letting me out of the car. He gives me a nod and I head to the grave. No matter the knowledge I have, this sight still hits me. I set the tequila and skittles down, and sit down on the bench nearby.
I pull my legs close to my torso, and wrap my arms around myself. Cheek to knee I try to get my thoughts together. If something were to happen to Trance, for real this time, how would I feel about the time I’m about to waste being a bitch? Could I find it in me to forgive him? Who am I kidding? Most of me already has forgiven him. The whole point of all of this is, I didn’t want to do any of this without him, and now I don’t have to. So why am I fighting this so hard? He had to go through all of this too, and he had to watch me suffer through it. Haven’t we been through enough?
I felt the tears slide down my cheeks and I swipe at them. I needed to be done crying about all of this. We all know I’m not a crier, and this is only making it harder on myself. I stretch my legs out and stand up from the bench. I look to my right, and Brantley was standing there. I needed some time with my girls, and I really did have work that I needed to get done.
“Ready?” I nod my head and we walk to the car. “If you could manage a half day, I could use my guys elsewhere. I was going to have Mel come home too.” I sigh, “I can make that work. I have most of my stuff setup in her office, but I think I’ll get it packed up and bring it back to the clubhouse. Y’all don’t have to be worrying about me being at the office on top of all this other crap.” All he says is, “Obliged” and leaves it at that. We’re back to macho badass Brantley, and there wasn’t anything more said on our way into town.
We get inside and the girls are both there. Apparently for security they had decided to put us all in one place. Now, to me? That seemed like an easier target, but I guess we’re easier to protect when we’re all together. I’m not a badass biker, so I will keep my opinions to myself. Besides, it isn’t like they are all up for advice on how to run their security detail.
“Kris, how are you feeling?” I look to both of them, “I didn’t get sick this morning, so there’s that.” I give them my best smile and Brantley clears his throat. He looks to Mel, “Babe, kiss me and I gotta go.” She walks straight to him and mutters something about being bossy and kisses him. As if she doesn’t love it. I smile at that and turn around at the desk Mel has setup for me.
Looking at my paperwork, I get distracted for a minute, but then Sophie pulls me back with, “How was your night?” I take in a deep breath and look up to her, “I may be an idiot.” She snorts and then says, “What are you talking about?” I continue with, “Trance stayed with me in my room. We just slept, but it’s just so hard. Feeling him there, hearing him breathe, I can’t help but wonder if I’m wrong with pushing him away. I mean, weeks went by and all I wished for was exactly what I have right now. Why can’t I embrace the fact that he’s here, and forget the fact that he lied to me?”
Sophie gets close, and then Mel comes into view. “Only you can make this decision, but I need to ask you something.” I give her a nod to continue as she says, “If something were to happen to Trance right now, today, how much would you regret continuing to push him away?” She asked my own question out loud. I felt the tear slide down my face as I say, “I thought of that just this morning. I think I need to work on pulling him in and stop pushing him away.”
I get a group hug as Mel says, “I think that is definitely a decision you won’t regret.” I half smile, “What if something does still happen to him and I’m left alone again?” They both sigh, “Isn’t that something we all live with every day?” Isn’t that the truth? I nod and say, “I guess I’m here for a half day and then I’m supposed to work from the club house. I think you two are supposed to try and do the same.” Mel smiles, “That’s what Brant just told me.” I nod, “Well, I think for their own good, I’m going to pack up all of my stuff and setup shop there. No sense in making them protect me elsewhere when I can do what I need to from there.” They both agree and they leave me to my work.
A half day of work never takes long, and before I know it the girls are helping me pack up shop. Most of my work right now is insurance stuff. I need to get my office set back up and get a working car. I may not be able to use it, but I need to get it all taken care of. I was on a mission now though. The mission I was on was taking me right back to the clubhouse with some of my stuff.
We hit the door and I walked straight back to my room. The girls drop my boxes in the corner and leave me to it. I look around and see the same thing I always do. Trance kept two pictures up. One was of him and his mom and the other was of me and him. That was one of my favorite days. He had taken me out on the bike, and packed a picnic. I was sworn to secrecy because he said the guys would never let him live it down. I smile at my thoughts as I think of that picnic.
I had finally ended the day with telling him I loved him. He had already told me that he loved me, so my saying it was something new. He, however, told me all the time. That’s why his cocky response to my “I love you” was, “I know.” I mean seriously! His confidence always oozed out of him. Some women are turned off by that, but me? With Trance? It only drew me closer to him. His confidence gave me confidence. I fed off of it. That was when I knew I had to complete my mission. I stand up to go and find Trance when my door swings open.
Dropping the picture back to the nightstand I hear it clatter. He looks to it, and I blurt out, “I can’t do this anymore.” He takes a step toward me, but as always, he’s cautious. “Kris, what happened?” I start to shake my head and no more words come out. Pull yourself together! Say what you want to say and be done! I squeeze my eyes shut as I try to gather my thoughts. “I…I can’t do it, Trance.” My voice breaks, and I need to be clear because he looks confused. He starts to speak, “Kris, I know this is hard, but I’m just trying to be here for you.” I take
a step, and he must think I’m heading toward the door.
He tries to move to the door, but I was moving to him. My arms went up around his neck and I pull his head down to me and instantly my lips hit his. He hesitates at first, but then realizes that I’m not retreating. At some point, he takes over the kiss and it’s everything that I remembered it to be. Love. Pure love. Pouring between us as his tongue swipes mine and I moan into his mouth.
His hands go down around my waist and he lifts me into the air as I wrap my legs around his hips. He moves us toward the bed, and he slowly lowers me to the bed. He doesn’t break the kiss as he starts to move his hand down to undo my pants. My hands are moving down his muscular arms, and exploring a body I thought was lost to me forever.
I just get my hands to the bottom of his t-shirt when the door swings open and I hear, “Do you have one of my files? I think it was in your one bo…” Sophie. Both of our heads swing toward the door as Sophie stops speaking and just stares at us. “I am so, so sorry. I will just…um…yeah.” With that she shuts the door and I can hear her footsteps running back down the hallway.
I bury my head into Trance’s shoulder and burst out laughing. I feel his body shaking with his own laughter as he pulls my head out of his body and holds the position so he can look in my eyes. “Kris, when you said you can’t do this anymore?” I try to turn my head away, but his hand is under my chin holding it in place. I move my eyes to look at his shoulder as I say, “I can’t fight it anymore. If I truly lost you today, I would never forgive myself for pushing you away when I could’ve had you.” His forehead falls to meet mine and he lets out a sigh of relief.
“I can’t take you out and treat you the way you deserve to be treated right now. We’re working on fixing it, but it’s gonna take time.” I smile, “You’re to selfish to care about that, remember?” He smiles at me, “That is true. You have no idea how good it is to kiss you and feel you laugh against me. Kris, baby, I’m so sorry.” I shake my head, “I already know that. If this is really going to work, then we can’t keep coming back to that. If I’m here and I’m forgiving you, then I need to really forgive you and move forward.” He half nods as I continue with, “That’s what I’m doing. Deciding to move forward, and if things come up we deal. Until they do, we don’t focus on anything that happened, we just focus on the future.”
“I feel like that’s giving me the easy way out.” I snap my eyes to him, “Um? Do you want me to continue to be mad at you?” He shakes his head, “No, I feel like I am taking advantage of you though, and I can’t do anything to really fix it yet.” I sigh, “Trance, I don’t know what you want me to say. This was a decision I made after a lot of processing. I have processed the situation to death, and I know that ultimately through any of this, I never wanted to live without you. Since I don’t have to do that, because you’re very much alive, why would I waste that time? If I have learned anything, it’s that life is precious.”
He looks to me like he almost doesn’t believe me. I beam a smile at him as he comes in and kisses me again. He pulls away saying, “Find Sophie’s file, and I’ll go out and get the hell I’m about to get, because no way she kept her mouth shut about any of that.” I smirk. I know he’s right, because I would have never kept that to myself. I give him a slight nod as he walks away, and I go to the box in the corner. I find Sophie’s file, and I smile to myself. He thinks he just won, but what he doesn’t realize is I got what I’ve been waiting a long time for. Fate has handed me a chance of a lifetime. A chance that I was not going to take for granted. I would embrace this opportunity and even though there’s danger signs everywhere in front of me, I was going to enjoy the ride as best I can.
Chapter Ten
As I head out to the main room in the clubhouse I hear people laughing. I shake my head as I turn the corner with Sophie’s file. Everyone’s eyes swing to me and I look around as if I have no idea why they’re looking at me. Sophie smirks and I shrug saying, “What? Have you looked at him?” Then everyone starts laughing. Whatever.
“The file that you so desperately needed.” Soph stands up and comes to me taking the papers. “I wish they were even important.” I stick my tongue out at her because it should’ve been life or death to break up what was going on in that bedroom. Now I was wanting to reconnect with Trance in every way I could. It had been months since I had the pleasure, and I was needing that now more than ever.
What? I made the decision to go all in, don’t I get to reap the benefits of that? If there was ever a benefit to being with Trance, it was definitely in the bedroom. He was always sure of himself, and he knew how to…I need to stop. I need to get it together or else everyone is going to know what I’m thinking about. I snap my eyes to Trance who is giving me a knowing look. Shit. He already knows what I’m thinking about. He smirks. Cocky ass.
“Okay, so now that that’s all settled. We need to meet. Trance we have to talk, but Jason wants to talk to Kris first.” I look to Jason. We hadn’t really gotten passed the whole, him accusing me of sleeping with Falcon thing. That wasn’t exactly on my “to do” list today, but I guess if it needs to be done. I look to Jason and he doesn’t give any emotions away on his face. No surprise there. He nods at me and I put a hand out for him to lead the way.
He leads me to what I like to consider the guys lunch room. It just has a couple chairs and a table. An extra refrigerator that’s always stocked, and a kitchenette. Some of the guys actually live here at the clubhouse, and if they ever have anyone visiting from another chapter they’re always taken care of. I look around to see what I should do next and Jason starts right in.
“Listen, I need this all to be okay. I obviously misread a situation, and I hate that you barely look me in the eyes anymore.” I sigh. He was right. He made a presumptuously rude comment, but it wasn’t anything I wouldn’t get over. “Jason, obviously, it sucks that you thought that would happen. I was in pain, and now I’m choosing to move forward. A part of moving on is letting this go too. It’ll all take time including this, but I’m willing to make it okay and it appears so are you.” He nods, “It’s just, knowing that he was alive, and knowing that you would eventually find that out…I knew that you being pregnant with another man’s baby was not going to be easy to explain to him.” I close my eyes, “Can we just not dredge it all up. Moving forward means we don’t have to hash it all out over and over.” He nods again and takes a step toward me. I sigh as I put my arms out because I know he’s hesitating to hug me. “Bring it in.” He gives me a big smile as he engulfs me in his big arms.
“Have you talked to Soph about your nightmares?” He steps back, “Not the most recent ones. With everything out in the open now though, it will give me a chance to be open with her about everything.” I nod, “See that you do that.” He smiles bigger, “Yes ma’am.” I smile at him as we head out of the break room.
“Kris, I gotta go meet with Brant. I know you have work to finish.” I look to Trance and nod as I turn to head back down the hall. “Hey, are you forgetting something?” I swing my eyes to him in confusion. “Babe, kiss.” Seriously? Already back to this? I raise my eyebrows at him and he continues with, “I promise it’ll be better for you if you come to me and I don’t have to come get you.” I smirk and raise my eyebrows higher in a clear dare. I guess I should have taken the chance to run instead of challenging him.
It only took him two strides to get to me and he had my back against the wall. His lips hit mine at the same time my hands went into his hair. I heard someone let out a laugh, and at that Trance pulls back. He has that damn cocky smile on his face all I want to do is melt into him. He steps away and I see Sophie and Mel fanning themselves with paper. I know the feeling. With that, I head back down the hall to my room and my work.
A few hours go by and I have accomplished a lot. I am almost completely caught up with work, and my assistant is all up to speed on the office situation. I have an insurance agent on the case of my house, my car, and my office. Who does this life e
ven belong to? I sag with defeat as I hear my phone ringing.
The door opens to the room as I make my way to the phone. I look up to see Trance standing in the doorway and I slide the screen to open my phone. “Hello?” I hear nothing and then, “Well, I thought maybe you were dead.” It’s a woman and I can’t place the voice. “I’m sorry, who is this?” I hear a cackle. A cackle that I will never, ever forget. One that I never thought I would ever hear again. “She wants to know who this is. Well sweet Krissy Lynn, it’s your mommy. Did you miss me?”
I gasp at the sound and I don’t even know what to do. Trance is now standing right behind me and turning me to face him. “I don’t know why you’ve called, but I don’t have anything to say to you.” She starts to laugh and then says, “Well then you can just listen. You’ve somehow put us in danger and you better make the threats stop. I tried to tell them I don’t care if you die, but they keep showin up.” My mouth drops. Someone was contacting my parents threatening them and my life. What would they want from them?
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I hear a grunt and then, “Just make it stop. Or else we’re comin to find you ourselves.” Great. I hear the click and I look to Trance. “Someone has contacted my parents. That was my mother.” His whole face gets hard, “What do they want with them?” I shake my head, “They’ve been threatening them and my life, and she so nicely explained to them that they don’t care if I’m alive or dead, but if I don’t make the threats stop they’re coming to find me themselves.”
I don’t get a response from Trance. All he does is walk back out the door and I hear his footsteps go down the hallway. I didn’t know if that was an indication for me to follow him or not, but I was not just going to stand here and do nothing. I follow in the same direction he left, and I find him in the bar talking to Brantley.
Shifting Time (Skull Shifters MC Book 3) Page 6