by K'wan
Satin clutched the steering wheel with both hands as she switched lanes without signaling. She kept one eye on the road and one eye on the bulge under Lou-Loc’s shirt. She wasn’t scared, but she was still shaken a bit by the little encounter between Lou-Loc and Jesus. Never before had she seen a man go off like that. He was like a wild animal, tearing into the trio. She wondered if she hadn’t been there, would Lou-Loc have spared Jesus?
“So,” Lou-Loc said breaking her train of thought, “you said you wanted to explain, I’m still waiting?”
Satin shifted in her seat and tried to find the right words, a way to explain the madness that was her life. If only he could look into her heart, all would be clear. She loved this man, but didn’t know how to express it. “Lou-Loc,” she said softly, “I really don’t know what to say, so I’ll just be honest with you.”
“That would be cool as hell, considering you been lying so far.” He said sarcastically.
“Lou-Loc, please? This is hard enough for me without you making smart ass comments. Now I wanna tell you the real to real, but I ain’t gotta kiss yo ass while I’m at it. Diablo and Jesus are both my brothers, but it’s not like we’re the Partridge family. None of us are that close. Until a few weeks ago, I hadn’t seen Michael in years, then he just pops up, and all this shit starts happening. Jesus, he’s a good kid, but the streets have poisoned his mind. I’m afraid my baby brother has been lost to me for some time. Can’t save everyone, huh? The only person I had in this world was my Aunt Selina, God bless her. Then you came along. Lou-Loc, the reason I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t want to run you off. I was feeling you, and I know you wouldn’t have fucked with me if you knew who my peoples were.”
Lou-Loc spared a sideways glance in Satin’s direction, and saw the tears stream down her face. “Satin,” he sighed, “try to understand where I’m coming from. We’re at war with these mutha fuckas and I find out that they yo peoples, how am I supposed to feel? I told you what I just went through wit this bitch Martina, and yet you still holding back secrets? At this point in my life, I can’t afford to have people keeping shit from me, especially the ones I love.”
“Lou-Loc,” she sobbed, “I know you love me, atleast I hope you do, because I damn sure got it bad for you. If you love me the way you say you do then leave this war and get out of the life.”
Lou-Loc pulled at his hair in frustration. “Satin, you know I can’t just up and bounce, the set needs me right now.”
“I need you too.”
“I know, Satin, and I need you, but you gotta understand.”
“Lou-Loc, the only thing that I understand is that you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. I know all about your unfinished business, Lou-Loc. I just don’t want the business to finish you. The night we were at my house you said that if I asked you to we could pick up and go, well I’m asking you now. I’ve got some money saved that I could put with whatever you have, and I could sell my jeep. We could just go away from here and never come back, okay?”
“Satin,” he said touching her cheek, “if only it were that simple. If I were to leave here now, there would be nobody to lead the set. With the way things have heated up over the last few weeks that would be like leaving a pack of rabid dogs loose on Time Square. They’d run wild, and things would only get worse.”
Satin parked in front of her building behind Lou-Loc’s car. When Lou-Loc reached for the door to get out, she grabbed his arm. “Lou-Loc,” she said wiping her eyes on her sleeve, “where is this relationship going? I mean, I’ve laid all my cards on the table, I’ve come clean with you about how I feel, but what have you given back? Where are we going with this, Lou-Loc? If I’m setting myself up for a let down, tell me now, and we can go our separate ways.”
“Satin, why are you putting me through all this drama?” He asked in a frustrated tone.
“Because, I want to know where I stand, where we stand? In my heart, I know you’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, but how do you feel? You say you love me, but do you love me enough to get out of the life?”
Lou-Loc looked into her eyes to see if she was putting game on him, but she was dead serious. From the moment Lou-Loc first laid eyes on this Latina beauty, he knew she was special. He knew that Satin was someone he wanted to know more intimately, but he hadn’t considered a life long commitment. He had only begun to think that far ahead with Martina, and that was after two years. Now here was this amazing woman, whom he had only known a little over a month asking him to walk the path of eternity. At that moment, everything in Lou-Loc’s life became crystal clear to him. He knew what he had to do.
“Listen, Satin,” he began, “right now I can’t promise you anything but it’ll all be sorted out in a minute. Once I know Gutter’s okay, we can go wherever you want. I’m getting tired of New York anyway. I hear Florida’s nice, so maybe we can set up shop down there.”
“You mean it?” She asked smiling.
“Satin, it took a while for me to recognize love when I saw it, but you taught me what to look for. I can bend on this one, boo. Just give me a few days to tie up some loose ends and we’ll give some serious thought to our future. Now that we’ve applied for your subscription to Modern Bride, I gotta a move to make.”
“Lou-Loc,” she said stopping him short, “before you leave, there’s something I have to give you.”
“Okay,” he said shrugging his shoulders, “give it here.”
“I can’t, its upstairs.”
“Okay, but I gotta dip, so let’s hurry.”
*
Lou-Loc followed Satin into her loft apartment not suspecting a thing. Satin continued to play it off like nothing was up, but there was something definitely up. When they got inside she instructed Lou-Loc to have a seat while she went and got his surprise from the bedroom. Lou-Loc sat on the couch and thought about what his plans were for the future. He had been so caught up in all of the madness over the last few weeks, that he’d forgotten that he was the one who was supposed to be trying to get out of the life. It took a woman like Satin to remind him of where his priorities lay.
“That Satin is one hell of a catch” he thought to himself. Sure, he was a little salty for her not being up front with him, but he wasn’t actually as mad as he’d acted. He was more hurt than anything so he had to give her a hard time about it. Even though he had told Satin he would give it some thought, there was no doubt in his mind about leaving New York. He reflected on his life and how it would change now that he had Satin in it. One thing was for sure, he had to go legit. Satin wasn’t trying to fuck with him if he was still banging, and he respected her for it. At that point in his life he was just hustling for kicks anyway, it wasn’t like he was hard up for money.
Lou-Loc had always been wiser than his comrades when it came to managing his money. While they were buying cars and clothes he was making investments. He owned a barbecue joint in Carson that his aunt and uncle ran and used the money made from that to take care of his sister. Even though they never asked him for anything Lou-Loc made sure to send them a few dollars every month just to let them know that he appreciated them.
Unbeknown to most people, with the exception of Snake Eyes and his father, Lou-Loc had quite a bit of money of tied up in legal businesses. In addition to his barbecue spot, Lou-Loc was one of the financial backers in a hip hop clothing line. That alone would’ve put his sister through college, and still kept them well to do. Overall his more modest source of legal income was probably security. Lou-Loc was the silent partner in a small security company on the west coast called Blue Light Protective Services. The company not only provided security for the well off and wealthy, but they also provided services to the dealers who solicited them.
Lou-Loc was also one of the few brothers who gave back to the hood. He would donate large sums of money to different charities and community organizations under assumed names. He felt what he was doing was his responsibility considering he was one of the
people helping pump drugs into the hood, and putting bodies on the slab. With all that Lou-Loc had on the ball, he could’ve walked away from the game and never looked back. If most people knew the kind of bread Lou-Loc was handling, they’d have called him a fool. He wasn’t Bill Gates or even close, but he had more money than a lot of white folks in the game. With all that, Lou-Loc still chose to live amongst the dealers and other parasite’s. After all, they were his people.
After a few moments had gone by, Lou-Loc began to get impatient. Satin had been gone about fifteen minutes and he was beginning to worry. Just as he got up from the couch to go check on her, Satin came out of the bedroom, and Lou-Loc thought his heart would burst. He was prepared for anything except what he saw.
Satin stepped into the living room wearing a sheer bath robe that stopped above the knee. Beneath that, she was wearing a transparent gold teddy with the matching garter belt and stockings. When she moved towards him, her dark nipples seemed to be staring him down through the fabric. Lou-Loc stood there slack jawed and speechless, staring at the heart shaped muff of hair that became slightly visible as Satin placed one of her tone legs on the arm of the sofa.
“Well,” she said in a seductive tone. “You just gonna stare at me all day or what?”
Lou-Loc was too dumbfounded to say a word, so she took the initiative. Slow and gracefully Satin moved toward Lou-Loc and pushed him back on the couch. She placed one leg on either side of him and slid down onto his lap, where she proceeded to grind back and forth.
“St. Louis,” she whispered, while nibbling his ear, “I want you to know how special you are to me. Am I special to you?” she asked while massaging his penis. All Lou-Loc could do was nod his head in agreement. “Tell me!” she demanded.
“Ooh, yea,” he moaned, “you special, baby.”
“How special?”
“Very.”
“Oh yea?” She teased while grinding harder. Lou-Loc tried to be cool about it, but looking at her perfect body made him want to bust all in his boxers. Even though they had been seeing each other for a while, they hadn’t had sex yet. That was the way she wanted it, and he really didn’t mind. He could get sex from any bitch in the hood he chose, but with Satin, it wasn’t about the sex. He loved who she was, and what she was about.
“Lou-Loc, baby,” she said while licking his neck and lips, “I love you so much. I want to ask you something, baby, and please don’t tell me no. You know how I hate rejection.”
“Anything,” he panted.
It was then that Satin did the unexpected. She reached behind her neck and let her hair down, but to Lou-Loc’s surprise, it wasn’t a hair clip that was holding it up. Satin held in her hand a platinum men’s wedding band. Criss-crossing all around the outside of the band were the prettiest blue diamonds. “Marry me?” she whispered.
Lou-Loc’s eyes got as big as saucers, and as damp as a London street. He was so shocked, he wanted to break down and cry. But him being gangsta, he didn’t. Satin asking Lou-Loc to marry her caught him off guard. A woman asking a man to jump the broom wasn’t the traditional way it went, but it was a new millennium and women were bolder about the way they did things. Truth be told, Lou-Loc had toyed with the idea of asking Satin what she thought about the idea, but he didn’t want to sound like a corn-ball or anything. It was just a strange twist of fate that she sprung it on him first.
“This what you want, baby?” He asked in his Billy D voice.
“More than anything,” she replied.
“Then you got that.” He said kissing her nose.
Satin put Lou-Loc in a bear hug that would rival even Big Kiki’s. When she had first purchased the ring a few days prior, she felt like she was playing herself. She had only known Lou-Loc for a short time, but he felt right to her. Before dropping it on him, she feared that it would scare him off. She had wanted to sleep with him, but she didn’t want to be just another piece of ass. She wanted to take what they had to another level. The marriage proposal to him was the final test, and he passed with flying colors. If he had said no, she probably would’ve fucked him anyway, but after that, she would have kicked him to the curb. “Fuck it. Life goes on.”
A week ago, when the idea of proposing to Lou-Loc first popped into her mind, she immediately asked her Aunt Selina what she thought about the idea. Selina raised her frail frame in the cast iron hospital bed and looked at her favorite niece through her cloudy gray eyes. Even as an old woman, there was still something regal about her.
Selina was once the object of many a man’s affections. Old age had stolen her beauty, and much of her health, but it couldn’t rob her of her wisdom.
“Marriage,” she asked in a heavy Spanish accent, “how long ju know dees man?”
“For a short time, tía, but I know he’s the one.”
“And how ju know dees, mees smarty pants?”
“Because my heart tells me so.”
“Good answer.” Selina said patting Satin’s hand. “Does dees man love ju as well?”
“He says he does.”
“A man can tell ju any ting he wan, Satin. What he do to proof his words?”
“Many things, tía. He’s rearranging his whole lifestyle to be with me, because it’s what I want.”
“Mmm hmm.” she said suspiciously. “More talk. What he do that mean something?”
“He spared one of Jesus’ stupid little friends, even after the boy try to kill him.”
“Satin, ju would be with a man who bring death into the world?”
“No, no, it’s not like that. You see, Michael, and Jesus’ people tried to kill his brother because they are from rival gangs, and...”
“He es a gang meember?” She cut her off. “Ay, Satin, I did no raise ju to be stupid. Ju see what these gangs have done to your brothers, why you geet involved with these people?”
“Tía, you don’t understand. He is a gang member, that much is true, but he’s not like the rest. He cares about life and about people. He’s getting out of the life, so he and I can be together. He loves me, and I love him.”
For a long while Selina didn’t say a word. She just sat there studying Satin. In her niece’s eyes, she saw true love. “Satin,” she finally said, “I know jour heart because I’ve helped you put it back together many a time, after it broken. I see ju really love dis man.”
“Oh, I do.” Satin said excitedly. “I love him enough to marry him.”
“Now hold on,” Selina said sternly, “ju moving kinda fast, no?”
“No, tía. I love this man and want to spend my life with him. He says he loves me also. Me asking him to marry me will be the final test of his loyalty. If he says yes, then even you can’t deny that we were meant to be.”
“So ju say.” Selina responded. “But what about him? Let heem tell me to my face that he love my niece as much as she love heem. When he come tell me, I know if es true.”
Satin’s lips parted into a wide grin, exposing two rows of perfect white teeth. “I thought you might feel that way. Wait here for a second.” Satin jumped up from the bed. After a few minutes, she came back into the room leading Lou-Loc by the hand. “Tía, this is my friend, St. Louis.”
“Como está usted, senora?” he said in perfect Spanish.
“Buena.” she responded. “I see ju speak Spanish?” She asked impressed.
“Yes ma’am. In California it’s a mandatory second language.”
“My niece tells me many things about you.”
“I hope they’re good things?”
“Some good, others not so good.”
“Well, Miss Selina, I won’t lie to you. I’ve made some poor choices in life, but your niece is trying to help me correct them.”
“Good answer. So, meester St. Louis, what are your plans for my baby?”
“To make her as happy as possible.”
“Another good answer. She coach you on what to say to me?”
“No, ma’am. I’m just speaking from the heart. I would never attempt
to deceive some one as lovely and as wise as you. Even if I could, I wouldn’t.”
“So far, so good.” she said looking at Satin. “I’m just going to come right out and ask you, meester St. Louis, how do you feel about my niece?”
The question caught Lou-Loc off guard, but he didn’t fluster or hesitate. “I love her, ma’am. I only want to do right by her, for as long as she allows me to.”
Selina studied Lou-Loc for a long moment. She looked him dead in the eyes to see if there was any hint of a lie in what she was saying. But in Lou-Loc’s, eyes all she saw was sincerity.
“Meester St. Louis,” she said holding his hand in hers, “for a long tine I’ve looked after this girl. I’ve watched her come from a tree climbing little girl, to a beautiful young lady. I am an old woman now, and I fear that my time is short in this world, but I no sad. I know that when I leave here, I will be with my lord and savior. I need you to promise do something for me.”
“Sure, if I can.” He said sounding a little dumbfounded.
“Take care of her.” she said teary eyed. “Allow me to pass on to the kingdom of heaven knowing that my niece is in good hands. Promise me that you will try to do right, and treat her like the queen that she is?”
“I promise.” Lou-Loc said sounding a little emotional himself. “You have my word.” The three of them shared a warm hug and exchanged a few tears. Selina knew that Lou-Loc would stay true to his word.