“Thank you Bettie,” Jophiel smiled, “now Eveline shall be needing a nice warm bath, would you be so kind as to run one? Then later when I bring her downstairs you can join us for some mulled wine and cake.”
“Alright mam,” replied Bettie curtsying before leaving. Jophiel sat down on the edge of the bed, and let her fingers discard the strands of auburn hair that covered Eveline’s face.
“Eveline,” she murmured warmly, “come it is time to get up,” she commanded gently. Eveline grunted quietly, opening her eyes slightly.
“No,” she whispered.
“Yes,” demanded Jophiel, “it is time Eveline, time to rise and meet the sun.”
“I don’t want to meet the sun,” Eveline answered defiantly.
“You shall,” smiled Jophiel, lifting the duvet away from Eveline, “come I shall feed you some broth.” With some gentle force, Jophiel helped Eveline up, lifting the pillows up and placing them behind her carefully. “Now, Bettie makes the loveliest broth in Chelsea, so I want you to eat it up and then you will have a bath.”
“Why?” Eveline questioned, taking a sip of the broth and looking directly at Jophiel, her eyes dim and lost.
“Because, I will not allow you to wither away,” Jophiel replied with a determined look in her eyes.
“And if I want to wither away?” Eveline groaned a silent tear falling down her cheek before sliding down her throat.
“That would be a very selfish thing to do indeed,” soothed Jophiel placing another spoonful of broth into Eveline, “is that what your grandmother would have wished?”
“What do I have left with her gone from me?” sobbed Eveline, her eyes turning and looking out of the large window, watching the snow fall.
“You have life and purpose Eveline,” Jophiel tutored, “you have friends who wish to help and protect you.”
“What friends?” Eveline cried, “My best friend is away at war, my childhood friends are not here,”
“I am your friend, Theodore is your friend,” whispered Jophiel. Eveline looked at Jophiel, who sat with her back up straight, prim and proper.
“I do not know you,” answered Eveline flatly.
“But you will, I am going to look after you for a while, I am going to help you come to terms with your loss and with your purpose,” smiled Jophiel, placing the silver spook back into the now empty bowl of broth.
“Why?” Eveline stammered, her lips trembling with grief.
“Because I understand your loss and I also understand who you are, I am Jophiel the angel of enlightment,” she replied proudly.
“I have never heard of you,” Eveline frowned, “sorry I did not mean to offend.”
“I know,” Jophiel smiled warmly, placing her right hand onto Eveline’s left hand.
“Does it ease, this pain, this void that I feel within me?”
“With time yes, it will ease, it will become bearable.”
“I don’t know what to do, where to go,” sobbed Eveline, wiping her hand across her nose. Jophiel looked in her pocket and found a handkerchief and gave it to Eveline.
“You have a place here with me for the meantime, I will help you to understand where it is you must go, and in reference to what you must do,” Jophiel raised her eyebrows, “well let me see to that, you will spend some time healing, we will walk, talk and become fast friends.”
“I cannot see him yet,” Eveline pleaded, her eyes red.
“I know, I have sent him away for a time, I will send for him when you wish him to come,” Said Jophiel getting up from the bed and standing away slightly.
“He will be angry with me,” Eveline sighed into her handkerchief.
“No Eveline, he understands that you need space, he is not angry with you but himself,” Jophiel replied, holding out her hands for Eveline. “Come I will help you into a bath.”
“What day is it?” Eveline asked, letting Jophiel guide her out of her room and into the corridor.
“It is Christmas eve,” Jophiel answered, opening the door to the bathroom, smiling across at Bettie, who stood aside letting them through.
“Oh,” sniffed Eveline, her eyes cast downwards to the ground. Bettie swiftly left the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
“Now come, I will help you in,” ordered Jophiel. Eveline let her new friend help her into the bath and couldn’t help but feel better sitting in the warm water, her naked body shielded by a shower curtain. Jophiel once satisfied that Eveline was alright, left her for a while in the pink bathroom, going to tidy her room and change her bed sheets. As Jophiel and Bettie dusted and cleaned Eveline’s room they stopped hearing her muffled cries echoing along the corridor. Bettie looked to Jophiel with sad eyes.
“My mother cries a lot too, when she heard that Jack had been killed,” Bettie voiced her gaze drifting to the door.
“Greif is a terrible place to find oneself,” answered Jophiel plumping Eveline’s pillows in her hands.
“It is mam,” said Bettie solemnly gathering up the old bedsheets and leaving the bedroom, stopping at the bathroom for a moment, closing her eyes and shaking her head before heading down the stairs. Jophiel waited a few minutes before re-entering the bathroom and helping Eveline out, drying her in silence as she cried and dressing her carefully with a gentle ease.
“Come, I will brush your hair,” Jophiel ordered guiding Eveline back to her room and setting her down on a chair before the dressing table, taking a brush in her hand, combing back Eveline’s wet, auburn hair. Eveline sat quietly, staring at herself in the mirror. She looked different, her face was gaunt and without emotion, her eyes red and her collar bones very prevalent through her nightdress. Jophiel observed Eveline’s gaze whilst she brushed her long hair.
“My grandmother used to brush my hair,” Eveline whispered, her mind casting itself back to the warm moments before bed when Estelle would brush out all the knots that had developed throughout the day.
“It is a special affection is it not?” Jophiel smiled.
“Yes, it always made me fall asleep,” Eveline smiled, “silly I know, but I let her brush my hair right up until I was eighteen.”
“It isn’t silly at all, it is a lovely memory to have.”
“I cannot help but feel that I have taken her so much for granted,” Eveline said quietly, folding her hands together tightly.
“Grief dictates that we have taken much for granted, but that is not always so,” Jophiel said softly, “it is just that the language of grief can border on self-pity, which off course is a natural progression.”
“It is true,” nodded Eveline, “when my parents died, I couldn’t speak for quite some time, I felt myself pass through these phases of self-pity, guilt and shame, similar to how I feel now, and the worst of it is that I having already experienced grief, I should know how to deal with it.”
“That certainly is what logic and reason would decree, but our emotions are not always guided by logic or reason, and often we are lost to illogical and unreasonable feelings,” answered Jophiel thoughtfully.
“I understand that my grandmother had a happy and long life, despite losing her son, but it is just the manner in which she died that pains me so,” gulped Eveline trying to control her emotions, but failing.
“And so it should pain you, it was not a natural or expectant death, she was taken in a way no person should be taken,” Jophiel said supportively.
“I understand now why it happened, but if only someone had warned her,” Eveline sighed, closing her eyes briefly in confusion.
“Eveline or should I call you Celestine?” Jophiel asked curiously.
“I do not feel like a Celestine yet,” Eveline muttered.
“Okay, Eveline,” Jophiel smiled, “I have lived amongst humans long before the days of the roman occupation. I have witnessed many cruelties, many miracles, many good people and bad, and yet I still ponder at how things could have occurred differently,” Jophiel let out a sigh, “even as an angel I regret many things, I could have acted
differently, guided Kings and Queens to do behave differently, but I have learned and it has taken a very long time, that life is not simple nor is it perfect, we cannot perfect the way another dies and the circumstances in which they are to die, we cannot always warn those around us of danger, and so…,” she stammered letting the brush stand still, “ you do not know how events would have played out if your grandmother had been warned, she may yet still have been needlessly killed, you cannot however spend the rest of your life regretting that someone did not warn her, it was simply meant to be that she wasn’t.”
“I wonder how she would have coped with the truth,” whispered Eveline, her cheeks now a warm shade of pink and her lips red, “how would she have coped knowing who I really am?”
“Who was to say she didn’t know who you were?” offered Jophiel.
“She didn’t,” Eveline resolved, “I don’t think that she really believed in God.”
“Well that is another matter,” Jophiel stated firmly, “she did however love you and she would love you even if the truth were to be told.”
“At least Belle is safe,” Eveline uttered, gazing up at Jophiel, who seemed to find pain in Eveline’s words.
“Yes,” whispered Jophiel, beginning to brush Eveline’s hair once more.
“Do you know how she is?” Eveline enquired quietly.
“She is back home with her parents, Gabriel erased her memory, she only remembers good things now,” answered Jophiel, her eyes distant.
“That is good,” Eveline reflected thoughtfully.
“Come let us go down and have some mulled wine with Bettie,” Jophiel asked politely, setting the brush down on the table. “Though you should put on your nightgown it is at the end of your bed.”
Eveline tied the nightgown about her waist and followed Jophiel from her room, feeling a little bit better and refreshed. She liked Jophiel, she reminded Eveline of her old teacher Mrs. Bates, kind but determined. For the first time since arriving, Eveline took in the lovely terrace house. Jophiel was obviously quite wealthy, the house was decorated beautifully, not too over the topic, and it was very feminine and comforting. Jophiel brought Eveline into her day room, which was beautifully decorated. Eveline felt instantly guilty for momentarily forgetting her woes and letting herself get lost in the beauty of Christmas.
“Come take some mulled wine,” Jophiel offered, handing a glass to Bettie who stood near the fire place.
“I can’t,” whispered Eveline pathetically, “it’s wrong to be enjoying something when I should be in mourning.”
“Eveline it would be wrong to allow grief to consume you, your grandmother would not want you to bypass Christmas simply because she is not here to share it with you,” lectured Jophiel kindly, “You are allowed time out, so come take a glass and sit down near the fire, to warm your feet.” Eveline shamefully took the glass, and smelt the beautiful wine, letting her senses indulge in the orange and cinnamon. Silently she took a seat near the fire and sipped her wine, contemplating her whole existence. She wondered what Theodore would be doing, how would he be spending Christmas?
“Should we invite Theodore over for Christmas?” she asked Jophiel quickly.
“Cael is away on business at the moment, but he will be back in a week’s time,” answered Jophiel, taking a large bite out of a piece of fruit cake. Finally she thought shamefully to herself, I can relax for a moment.
“Oh,” muttered Eveline, looking across at Bettie who was warming her hands happily.
“Now Eveline, do you like to play games?” Jophiel asked merrily, setting down her empty plate.
“Well yes, I used to play chess a lot with grandma, but I always let her win,” smiled Eveline, folding her feet in front of her, the warmth of the fire and wine filling her body and senses with much needed comfort.
“Yes Theodore told me how wicked she was at chess,” laughed Jophiel lightly, “Bettie here is a crack shot at it,” she smiled across at her maid.
“Only because Jack taught me,” blushed Bettie, waving away Jophiels compliment quickly.
“Don’t be so coy, Bettie, you are an intelligent young woman, why do you think I hired you?” Jophiel said happily.
“To clean up after you,” teased Bettie downing the rest of her wine. Eveline watched the interaction between Jophiel and Bettie and was intrigued.
“Tis true,” admitted Jophiel, holding up her hands, “poor Bettie has a terrible time tidying up after me, I leave books, papers and mugs everywhere.”
“I forgive you,” laughed Bettie, “anyway you tutor me in the evenings, so the least I can do to repay you is tidy up after you.”
“Oh how glad I am that I am forgiven,” Jophiel looked across at Eveline, “Young Bettie here is taking an entrance test for Oxford, where I lecture,” she explained to a slightly overwhelmed Eveline.
“That’s an achievement,” Eveline answered quietly.
“It truly is, did you receive higher education Eveline?” Jophiel asked curiously.
“I never applied to go to university,” Eveline mused, “although I did achieve the highest marks in my year,”
“And why did you not apply?” asked Jophiel, her arms folded. What a waste of talent she thought looking over at the blushing Eveline.
“Oh you know, the war started and I was engaged, and Keswick needed female help,” Eveline blurted out quickly, feeling a little awkward.
“Ah I see, I see,” muttered Jophiel, “you would have made a great student I daresay.”
“Probably not,” argued Eveline.
“Why ever would you think that?” asked Jophiel confused.
“I am too opinionated,” Eveline disclosed. Often as a young woman, Eveline had spent time acting on behalf of poorer women in the town, standing up to their bosses and on some occasions their husbands who treated them badly. No she was not on the same level as her grandmother and never would she be, but Eveline had spent a great deal of time arguing against the local MP’s, creating small women’s groups and debating the subject of equality with William, who supported her whole heartedly.
“Oh but we need to be opinionated,” lectured Jophiel, “We women have to work twice as hard to be heard.”
“Yes well you would have enjoyed my grandmother then,” whispered Eveline.
“Yes I am quite sure that I would have, but I think your grandmother probably revelled in your opinions Eveline,” Jophiel said matter of factly.
“I highly doubt it, I was positively shy in comparison to my grandmother,” smiled Eveline, “not that I minded.”
“Well you would have made a wonderful student,” finished Jophiel soundly.
“Hmm,” murmured Eveline letting herself slip into a cloud of silence. Jophiel and Bettie spent an hour playing chess as Eveline gazed into the fire, remembering the days spent with Belle and Galean, dancing in the snow, shopping for a Christmas tree and playing the piano together. Off course Eveline felt anger at Galean for deceiving her into a false hope of love, but his death had broken a fragile part of her that could only be soothed by his love and warmth. But she thought to herself bitterly, he only pretended to love you because it was his duty, he loved his wife and daughter. A sharp pain hit her as the reality set in, she had given her heart away to a man she did not know, a man who did not feel the same. She felt anger and shame fill her heart, how stupid she had been, how unfaithful and wicked she was. Eveline quivered with grief, what would she do now? Would Theodore want her still? What about William? Eveline spent quite some time in front of the fire thinking, she couldn’t stay here forever, and she had decisions to make.
“Would you like to play Eveline?” Jophiel asked, bringing her out of her thoughts instantly.
“Would you mind?” Eveline asked Bettie.
“No off course she wouldn’t, she is away home for the holidays anyway,” replied Jophiel.
“Well alright then,” smiled Eveline, getting up and joining Jophiel at the table. Bettie said her goodbyes and left the pair playing ches
s quietly. Time passed and the embers of the fire grew dim.
“So what do I do now?” Eveline enquired, moving a piece across the board.
“Well you figure out where it is you want to go, what it is you intend to do with your life,” Jophiel answered kindly now moving her own piece forward.
“I don’t know what to do, my heart tells me to go back to Keswick, to go back to my old world,” groaned Eveline.
“Maybe going back to Keswick for a time isn’t such a bad idea,” frowned Jophiel.
“I wish to visit my grandmothers grave and get the house together,” Eveline went on, “I cannot deny that the thought of going home warms my heart.”
“And what about Theodore?” Jophiel asked curiously.
“I wish with all my heart he would come, but if we were to marry, he would lose his identity, I am not ready to ask that of him,” Eveline said firmly.
“He has already been exiled,” Jophiel stated blandly, “he is without protection and title now.” Eveline looked up at Jophiel who was looking at her intently.
“But we have not married, Heiden said he would only lose his gifts and powers if we married?”
“Theodore denounced his role as an angel, he willing exiled himself to be with you,” whispered Jophiel.
“What a stupid thing to do,” retorted Eveline.
“Why is it stupid? He loves you?”
“He has sacrificed everything for me, what have I done for him?”
“You have given him purpose, no angel would exile themselves willingly, does that not prove the point that he thinks you are worth it?” quizzed Jophiel.
One Crown & Two Thrones: The Guardians Page 31