"Why do you want to go back?" Penny asked.
Robert shrugged, "Someone has to take over for the mayor. It might as well be me."
"You?" Penny repeated blankly, "Why would you take over for him?"
Robert shook his head, exasperated, "I was training under him, Pen. Don't you remember? I was going to step in after the next season had passed."
"Right," Penny said. She blushed. "Sorry, I forgot."
"Lots of things on your mind, I know," Robert said. "There's something else too."
"What?" Penny asked.
Robert hesitated, "I left someone behind."
"What?"
"I left a girl behind," Robert said, "She's not in Westwood or Teirford. I think she stayed in Valishna. I have to go back for her."
"Oh, Robert," Penny said, "If she didn't make it out, that's terrible. I didn't even know you had someone. But it's not a reason to return."
"It is," Robert said, "Pen, listen. You're the first person I've told this to, but she's pregnant."
For a moment, Penny was speechless. Then she slapped Robert's shoulder, "What? How could you do something so irresponsible? So careless! Robert!"
"The baby isn't mine," Robert said, "We met right after she found out. She's only three months along, hardly even showing. But I'm in love with her, Penny, and I'm going to take care of her, and her child as if it were my own."
Penny shook her head, "Do you honestly believe mother and father are going to just allow you to marry a nameless woman and raise her bastard child?"
"You'll be the only one who knows the baby isn't mine," Robert said, "They have to think it is, Pen, or you're right, they'd interfere. But having a bastard child out there is even worse than raising one, in mother's eyes. She'll insist I do right by the girl. Father won't like it, but he'll accept it."
"How do you know she's alive?" Penny asked.
Robert swallowed, "She has to be," he said, "She just has to be. I love her, Pen. Gods, if something happened to her... no, she's fine. But I have to go back and find her. I need to, Pen, and I want you to come with me."
"I don't know," Penny said, "It feels so wrong, going back. But it feels wrong not to, too."
Robert pulled her into another hug. He kissed the top of her head, "Come back," he said, "Come back for me. We'll take care of Valishna together."
"Alright," Penny said. She let out a low sigh. "Alright."
TWELVE
What Wretches Feel
THE LAST THREE WEEKS IN TEIRFORD PASSED at an exceptionally slow pace. Commander Jonathon Lund had ordered Matilyn's troops to stay in the city and offer extra protection because of their diminished numbers. Ryan's men were ordered to stay as well, even though the Lieutenant was one of the first bodies found.
There were plenty of injured people in the city; the Priests had done what they could, but some injuries were too difficult to heal. Sean, for example, had been healed by Matilyn, Janice, and Eldrin and still wasn't well. Matilyn was worried about internal bleeding but without a proper surgeon, it was impossible to tell. He was on bedrest, recovering.
Matilyn had wanted to join the forces defending the front of the city walls, but Jonathon had other ideas. He used her and her men to run errands, cook meals, and take notes for him. Redhorn and Stoneheart had both complained to her already about being glorified officer boys. There was nothing she could do about it though.
Jonathon had called for a tribunal to rule on whether or not Matilyn and the deceased Ryan had committed insubordination. When she learned there would be an inquisition into their actions, she argued they had only done what was necessary. He ignored her indignation though, and stripped her of her rank and responsibilities pending the trial's outcome.
Soon, Battle-Master Marius led troops in, alongside Commander Lucas Broggin. Matilyn took an immediate liking to Lucas; he had a sense of humor and wasn't afraid of sharing his opinions. She hadn't yet formed an opinion of the Battle-Master, waiting to see if he'd follow Rafinnel's disapproval of Priests in the battlefield.
Matilyn was eventually called into the town hall and took her seat across from the three officers. She'd never felt so intimidated and overwhelmed, but she knew she'd made the right decision.
"You are Matilyn Malevus, Lieutenant of Redhorn Charge of the 3rd Brigade?" Marius asked.
"Yes sir," Matilyn said.
"And your immediate superior is Commander Jonathon Lund?" Marius said.
"Yes sir," Matilyn said again.
"Soldier Malevus, you are charged with insubordination, and conspiracy to commit insubordination with the deceased Lieutenant Ryan Mattheus of the Stoneheart Charge of the 3rd Brigade." Marius said. "Are you aware of the events in question?"
"Yes," Matilyn said.
"Then let us begin." Marius leaned forward a little, "Tell me what happened."
Matilyn cleared her throat nervously, glancing briefly at Jonathon. He met her gaze with an impenetrable look. She looked over at the other two.
"We were on duty, standing guard at the back of the city, as ordered. Two of my men--my executor and one of my captains--heard two Lamonte soldiers talking. They were discussing how they were taking over Teirford. Lieutenant Mattheus and I decided our best course of action was to come to defend the city."
"You were ordered to stay in the back," Jonathon said. "There were reasons for positioning you there. We could have been invaded through our backdoors and we'd have no defense."
"I understand that, sir," Matilyn said, "But Teirford was already under attack. We couldn't just sit back --"
"-- That was your order!" Jonathon exclaimed. "You don't get to ignore what you're ordered to do. That's not the way chain of command works."
He looked over at the other two officers, expecting some back up. Both of them sat silently stoic, though.
Marius calmly resumed, "You admit, then, that you directly defied an order given by a superior?"
Matilyn felt color flood her face, "Yes," she said. She wanted to defend herself more but couldn't think of what to say. She settled for leaning back in her chair and sighing, "I did what I thought was right; as did Lieutenant Mattheus."
"Did you understand at the time that you were directly defying a lawful order?"
Matilyn swallowed. "Yes, sir."
"Do you believe Lieutenant Mattheus knew this as well?"
She nodded.
"Yet you went forward with it anyway?"
"I did," she said.
Marius continued, "It takes a lot of courage to stand up for what you believe to be right, and I can't imagine many would have acted the same as yourself. However, the chain of command exists for a reason. When a soldier breaks an order, they are guilty of insubordination.
"If one person, no matter what reason, no matter what rank, does not face a tribunal, then the door is opened for any person to question their chain of command. If one of your men had defied you, what would you have done?"
Matilyn blinked. "I don't know," she admitted.
"As an officer, you must consider these things. You must always weight what is right against the breach of chain of command." His posture relaxed. "Out there, in battle, there can't be questions. You can't have men second-guessing your decisions. You've made Commander Lund look weak."
Matilyn looked over at Jonathon. "I didn't mean to," she said in a small voice.
"I know you're new to the field," Marius said. "However, you were a Priest, so you know about chain of command." Marius said, "If your leader -- Ashbury, wasn't it?"
"Yes sir."
"When the late Father Ashbury gave you orders, did you always follow them?" Marius asked.
"Yes," Matilyn said.
"Without question?"
"Yes."
Marius sat a little taller and looked to his left where Commander Lucas Broggin was listening attentively. He leaned over and the two of them whispered for a moment.
"Soldier Malevus," Lucas said, "You have admitted that you understand chain of command, and you
've admitted to directly defying an order from Commander Lund. You have admitted you worked directly with Lieutenant Mattheus with the intent of insubordination. Do you dispute that?"
"No," Matilyn said.
Lucas nodded, "In certain circumstances, we must rely on the men below us to act how they think is best. Do you believe that this was one of those circumstances?"
"I do," Matilyn said.
"So you believe that Commander Lund's orders were incorrect?"
Matilyn blinked, looking over at Jonathon again. She cleared her throat awkwardly, "Of course not, sir."
"But you believe that you acted in the right," Lucas said.
Matilyn nodded.
"Then that only leaves one conclusion: the orders that Commander Lund gave you did not allow for you to act in the best interest of the Guard. Would you agree with that?"
Jonathon leaned forward in his seat, glaring at Matilyn.
She felt a sudden sensation of being torn in half. Half of her wanted to disagree and say that Jonathon's orders had been fine. The other half of her, the more prideful half, refused to do that.
"Yes," she said, her voice seeming to ring throughout the room, "His orders did not allow for appropriate actions."
Jonathon shook his head, "I had you stationed there for a reason," he repeated. "You were to guard our back door. That was a correct order."
"No," Matilyn said, starting to feel angry, "No, it wasn't. You stationed us out there because you don't like priests fighting, just like Battle-Master Rafinnel. You wanted us out of the limelight."
Lucas raised a brow, looking between the two, "Is that true, Commander Lund? Were you allowing personal prejudice to taint your orders?"
Jonathon shook his head, "If my personal bias were to color my orders, I would have sent them home instead of allowing them a place within my brigade."
Lucas looked over at Marius, "We must consider whether or not the orders were lawfully correct."
"They were correct," Jonathan growled.
Marius looked between everyone present, "We have lost a lot of good men recently, including the deceased Lieutenant Mattheus. I do not want to taint their memories by dragging two respected officers through the mud."
Jonathon looked relieved.
Lucas, however, didn't seem to agree. He sat forward, "And yet," he said, "by calling a tribunal, Commander Lund has opened that door. We must now question his motives and his actions."
"This is ridiculous," Jonathon said.
"Surely, you're not concerned?" Lucas asked.
"Of course not," Jonathon said.
"Then perhaps soldier Malevus can step outside while we discuss your orders," Lucas suggested. "Because, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, you were ordered to make use of the priests in the best way possible. The King believes that they are an aide to the kingdom and to the morale of our people, and it is our responsibility to uphold his orders."
Jonathon clenched his hands atop the table, "What are you trying to insinuate, Commander Broggin?"
Lucas spread his hands out, "I'm merely recognizing that there might be a deeper issue here than Soldier Malevus's actions in regards to Teirford defense."
"I believe you're trying to--"
Marius cleared his throat, "Enough," he said. He looked over at Matilyn, "Please step outside, soldier. We will adjourn for deliberation now."
"Yes sir," Matilyn said. She got to her feet, saluted, and hurried out the door.Eldrin was waiting for her. "How'd it go?" he asked.
Matilyn shook her head, "They're not done," she explained, "They wanted time to talk amongst themselves."
"They won't find you guilty," Eldrin said, "I mean, anyone would have come to defend Teirford. Lund is just upset because he hates priests. It's getting kind of old."
"Penny felt the same way," Matilyn said with a sigh, "She thought we were risking our souls out here. I wonder what she'd have made of this."
"She's probably heard of it by now," Eldrin said, "Not the tribunal, but the defense itself. People are saying we're chosen by the gods to fight for Arinford."
Matilyn ran a hand over her face, "Great," she muttered, "That's no pressure at all."
Eldrin laughed.
"How are you, anyway?" Matilyn asked, "We really haven't had much of a chance to talk over these last few weeks."
"I'm fine," Eldrin said quickly, "It's Sean you should be worried about."
"Why?" Matilyn asked.
"He's still not healing," Eldrin said, "I went back and checked on him this afternoon. I can't find any injuries, but it's as if he has no energy. He's just lethargic. I don't know that he can fight that way."
"Well, with our luck, we're going to be sent back to the perimeter to watch Teirford," Matilyn said, "He won't have to fight."
"Yeah," Eldrin agreed, "Then he'll just die of boredom."
Matilyn couldn't help but laugh. "Is Janice with him?"
"I'm surprised, but no," Eldrin said, "She's taking her role as captain very seriously. She hardly ever leaves her troops, and we both know how much she likes Sean."
"Good for her," Matilyn said. "Gods, I'm worried, Eldrin."
Eldrin reached over to clap her shoulder, "Don't be," he said, "They're not going to dismiss you from the Guard. Not when you're the favorite of the Gods. They'll have to take that into consideration."
"Will they?" Matilyn wondered.
"It'd be a terrible blow to morale if they didn't," Eldrin said, "Nobody wants to hear that you did anything but rescue Teirford against your orders. You're a hero."
"It wasn't me," Matilyn said, "It was everyone."
"Well you led us," Eldrin said.
Matilyn didn't know what to say to that, so she just shrugged. She didn't want to admit how frightened she was of being dismissed and sent back home. Eldrin wouldn't understand. He'd only joined because she had. Their motives were completely different. As a part of the Guard, she felt as though she were actually doing something worthy, something to help shape Cartharia. Getting sent home would ruin that feeling.
After a while, Commander Broggin came out. "You can come back in now," he told her.
Eldrin gave her a thumbs up and she offered him a fleeting smile as she followed the commander back into the room. He gestured for her to sit.
"We have deliberated over our decision with the utmost care," Marius said, "We have decided that yes, you broke your orders -- whether you broke them out of necessity or not, the facts remain the facts. We have disagreed on what should happen because of this..."
He sent Jonathon a look. Jonathon said nothing, merely folded his arms.
"When soldiers are out on the field, especially officers, they need to be able to make those life and death decisions, on the spot, without worrying about how it might affect their standing in the Guard. I personally believe you acted with the best interests of Arinford in mind when you led this attack, as did Lieutenant Mattheus."
Matilyn nodded, unsure what exactly he was saying. "Am I in trouble?"
Marius laughed, "No," he said, "I have decided that you will make a good example to other men. You and Lieutenant Mattheus both. You are being awarded stripes of courage. They will be added to your military jacket."
"Thank you," Matilyn said, "Thank you so much."
She spared a glance over at Jonathon and immediately regretted doing so. She could practically see the anger that he was radiating.
"There is one more matter," Marius said.
Matilyn waited, "Yes sir?"
"I have decided that you are not a good fit for Teirford. After your courageous move, I have decided you would be better off serving in an offensive matter. You are being transferred to the 8th offensive brigade, serving under Commander Kyle Amaris. Your deployment to Lamonte will happen in three days' time."
Matilyn hadn't been expecting that. She leaned back in surprise, "Oh."
"Stoneheart will merge with Redhorn," he said, "There aren't enough of either of you to make two complete charges. I expect
that you'll serve well together?"
"Yes sir," Matilyn said.
"Now," Marius said, "I want you to go make the announcement to your troops."
Matilyn nodded and made her way out, still reeling in surprise.
Sean woke suddenly, shooting straight up in bed. He winced and placed a hand on his abdomen. He still hurt from the blow he'd taken from the soldier. It gave him little comfort that one of the other soldiers--Sasha, he thought--had killed the soldier right after he was attacked.
He'd thought it was bad when he was alone in his head, but dying had been worse. He knew what waited for him now, and he wasn't eager to return to that state. He was uncomfortable though, and there was nothing to do for it.
Janice made a point of visiting him daily, but their visits were usually short and hurried. She had her men to take care of, and Sean was supposed to be resting. He missed her constant company though and couldn't help but be a little morose that they were no longer attached at the hip.
To his surprise, Eldrin had visited him a time or two as well. The other man had attempted to heal him, as had several others, but Eldrin seemed to take it the worst when his manipulation did nothing. Still, Sean appreciated the thought.
He'd woke because he'd been dreaming. He'd only really dreamt once before, of Penny's death, and didn't know if he believed dreams to be prophetic. He knew, though, that whatever he'd been dreaming, it hadn't been good. There'd been a young man in the dreams. The young man had been screaming for his help, but then fell into an enchanted sleep where he was awoken by a kiss from a cruel looking girl.
Sean didn't know what to make the of dream so when Matilyn came to visit him, he pushed it out of his mind and focused on her. "Lieutenant, hello."
"Please," Matilyn said, "with the formalities. I can't stand it."
Sean gave a small chuckle and nodded, "I understand. How are you, Matilyn?"
Matilyn gave a simple shrug. Then she smiled, "I was cleared on all charges of insubordination. I've retaken my position as the lieutenant of Redhorn."
"Good," Sean said, "I didn't think they'd strip you but its still relieving to hear."
The Warriors of Valishna (Cartharia Book 1) Page 15