Survive For My Love

by Heather Thurmeier

  “Keep me safe by coming with me. Help me. If you don’t, you have to pack up and leave when I do.”

  “Not much choice, then, is there?”

  “There doesn’t need to be. The choice is obvious.”

  ***

  Dane couldn’t believe he was going through with it, but he’d tossed and turned all night thinking, and he didn’t see any other way. Shouldering his pack of supplies and lowering his white facemask to cover his mouth, he followed Sara out of the kitchen and up the hallway to the door leading outside.

  “You ready?” she asked, pausing at the door.

  “No. But let’s do this anyway.”

  This time, instead of full gas masks, they’d opted to wear paper ones with built in filters that covered their mouths and noses. Since they’d been outside and heard others talking about the danger of the virus spreading if you came in close contact with people who were sick, they felt the gas masks would draw more attention than they were worth. They’d also put on surgical gloves to protect themselves in any sudden physical contact, and they kept plenty of hospital-grade liquid sanitizer in their bags.

  All in all, they were about as prepared as they could be.

  Geared up with backpacks full of supplies and weapons, they each also carried a few gallons of gasoline. They planned to head to Dane’s cabin and hoped to find his truck intact. If not, then they would continue on to where Sara had left her Jeep, since it seemed unlikely anyone would have found it in the middle of nowhere, tucked away in the woods a mile from the highway.

  Walking to pick up either vehicle meant losing a day, but if they were successful, it would help them travel farther in a shorter amount of time. They didn’t know what their chances of finding gas along the way would be, but they’d do what they could to scavenge some, then they’d drive until they ran out of fuel sources or found her family, whichever came first.

  Not a foolproof plan but the best they had at the moment.

  They hiked in mutual silence for the first few hours, both winded by the labor of carrying their heavy packs and jugs of gasoline after being rather sedentary while they were in the bunker. Dane was also concerned about whether or not the strangers they’d seen in the woods near the lake were still in the area. He didn’t like the amount of whiskey he’d seen the guy drinking, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to run into them out here. Sure, Dane and Sara were armed, but they were also outnumbered. Best to stay out of sight for as long as possible.

  Once they got a vehicle, they’d be out in the open and a target, but they’d also be faster than anyone nearby.

  “How much farther?” Sara asked Dane, setting her canister on the ground and rolling her wrist. “I’m not sure how much longer I can carry that before my wrist falls off my body. I’m glad my family thought to stockpile some gas, but god damn, those could not be heavier to lug around. Why the hell didn’t we think to have a wagon or wheelbarrow on hand?”

  “The cabin is at least another few hours, maybe more, depending on how often we have to stop. Why don’t we take a short break and then go the rest of the way?”

  Sara nodded, dropping her bag to the ground. “I’ll make us some food.”

  “Good idea. We’re pretty safe from anyone seeing our fire. We may as well have a big meal now since we don’t know what our options will be like later.”

  Sara cooked a pot of soup as fast as she could then smothered the fire to conserve the fuel disks. They didn’t know how long they’d be looking for her family, so they decided to use their supplies as sparingly as possible.

  They removed their masks long enough to eat. Dane noticed the anxiety on Sara’s exposed face, matching how he felt inside. After their meal, they cleaned up then began the second half of their hike. Hours later, Dane spotted the cabin through the forest.

  He stopped, staring at the place he used to call home. Even from this distance, he could see the windows broken out, his generator and woodpile gone, and the back door hanging open in splinters.

  “I’m so sorry, Dane,” Sara said, touching his arm. He wanted to recoil from her tenderness, punch a tree instead, but all he could do was stand there and gawk at the remains of his life, clenching his jaw so hard it hurt.

  He strode forward as if pulled by some magnetic force. He knew it might not be the safest choice, given the look of the place, but he couldn’t control himself. He had to see inside, see how complete the damage was.

  They walked the perimeter of the property, keeping a good distance away while he tried to determine if anyone hid inside.

  “I’ll check the interior and see what it’s like before it gets dark.” Dane set down his gas containers then moved as quietly as he could toward the front door that was still in one piece, but ajar. Already, the sun had started to set. Long shadows were beginning to disappear in the dwindling light. They needed somewhere to rest for the night, and it would be nice to know if the cabin would suffice or if they’d be better off moving on.

  Dane pushed open the door and stood to the side, peering in with his gun drawn, not taking any chances. There could be people squatting inside.

  Not seeing anyone in the living room, he crept through the rest of the house, securing each area as he went. While he did, Sara stayed outside, watching the woods.

  A few minutes later, he called her into the abandoned house.

  Out front, he found his truck in the driveway, looking a bit worse for wear but still road-worthy. At least it had its windows and tires intact. He’d have to pop the hood to see if anyone had taken parts from the engine, but he doubted it. Why steal parts when you could steal an entire vehicle? Besides, his truck was easy to overlook—an old model, visible rust spots, and lacking any of the modern frills most people loved. The average, curious party wouldn’t know the vehicle purred like a milk-drunk kitten.

  Dane pulled the key from his pocket. He’d carried it with him to the bunker out of habit. The engine turned over a couple of times before catching, roaring to life. Excellent. They would have a ride. To where, he still didn’t know.

  He secured their gasoline containers with bungee cords into the bed of the pickup. It was the safest place to store them in case they had to make a quick escape. Thinking of his last normal day in town before all hell broke loose and the world fell to shit, Dane remembered he’d stopped to fill up after hearing the first news report. He’d been one of the last lucky ones to hit the gas station before demand ran the pumps dry. Provided no one had thought to siphon his tank, he should still have almost three-quarters. Along with the extra they’d carried, they should be able to go pretty far.

  “I think we’d better crash here for the night. We’ll build a small fire, eat, and get some rest before we have to take to the road tomorrow, okay?”

  Sara looked as if she might protest then nodded instead. “Okay. But I want to leave at first light.”

  They settled in for the night. The power had gone out about forty-eight hours after the ships had come in to port with sick passengers. Their only option for food and warmth tonight would be a small fire, but at least they had a roof over their heads.

  Sara put a packet of freeze-dried beef and noodles into a pot on the fire they’d lit using a couple of scrounged-up logs. After a few weeks of surviving, they were used to the new taste of packaged meals, and tonight’s was nothing short of delicious.

  Dane had gone through his cabinets but discovered little left to add to their supplies. He hadn’t expected to find much, with the state of the cabin.

  A couple of old blankets left behind in his closet became a makeshift bed where he spread them out on the living room floor. A cushion off the couch made an acceptable pillow. Together, they snuggled under the blankets in front of the warm glow of the fire.

  Lying there in the dim light with Sara, Dane didn’t even feel like he was sleeping in his cabin. Nothing about the structure was familiar anymore. Too much had changed in the last few weeks. Any lingering fantasies in his mind about the possibility of coming ho
me to live here again vanished. Regardless of what happened with the outside world and the possible pandemic changing everything, the place he laid his head was merely a shelter capable of keeping him out of the cold for tonight and not his home anymore.

  Who knew what tomorrow would bring?

  If he were lucky, maybe tomorrow would take them back to the bunker. Maybe Sara would realize it wasn’t the best plan to leave it all behind and risk going into the unknown. Somehow, he doubted she would. Her stubbornness rivaled his own.

  Chapter Four

  Sara pulled her seatbelt across her chest and pushed the buckle into the clasp at her hip, then realized it was the last thing she needed. There wouldn’t be a lot of other cars on the road to watch out for accidents. Well, not moving cars, anyway.

  “I can’t believe I’m leaving it all behind. Next time I see this place…if I see this place again, there might be nothing left of it.” Dane stared at the cabin.

  It was more or less empty, except for the furniture too big to move. The scavengers who’d come through first had cleaned out all of the most useful things. Whatever had been left, Dane and Sara had packed into the pickup truck. Neither knew if they’d have any use for the stuff, but it was better to bring it with them. They’d decided on taking the blankets they’d used last night, a few remains of Dane’s clothes, a couple cans of food he’d found stashed in a forgotten cabinet, and a few odds and ends from the garage. By some miracle, they’d even found a box of ammo stuck between the bed frame and the bedside table.

  Dane started the truck, the engine roaring to life. Sara flipped on the radio and crossed her fingers, hoping she’d hear some new information. They’d had a radio in the bunker but could never seem to get a signal through the layers of dirt and cement separating them from civilization. Out here in the open, they had a better chance at getting a clear signal.

  At first, static filled the air. Dane twisted the dial until a voice filled the truck. “This is a message from the Emergency Broadcast System. Anyone showing symptoms of Virus T252 is required to call 911 for immediate transport to the quarantine zone. Anyone who is not infected is urged to shelter in place away from anyone who is or may be sick. Virus T252 is spread through all bodily fluids. If you come in contact with any bodily fluids which may be infected, it is required you report to a quarantine zone for testing.”

  Dane switched off the radio as the message began again. “Sounds like the people in the woods were right. As long as we stay away from other people, we should be safe out here, even if we lose our masks or gloves.”

  “I think it’s best to keep them on, don’t you?” Sara asked. Sure, they were a little annoying, but better to be safe.

  Dane nodded. “We’d better go. Which way? You didn’t tell me where the Plan B location is.”

  “Head south toward the city, and I’ll tell you along the way. But stay on the west side of the Hudson River.”

  A glorified dirt path led away from Dane’s house, which meant it was less traveled than the major highways in the area. They had deserted space ahead of them, at least until they got to the highway.

  “My brother Josh owns a store in a riverfront town. It’s located in between all of our homes, and it’s on the way to the bunker. We always figured if we couldn’t get into the Catskills for some reason, then we could pull into his store.”

  “What good does a store do you? Doesn’t seem like the smartest choice to me. Wouldn’t a store be the first place looters go?”

  “It would be if he sold groceries or other necessities, but he doesn’t. He sells used books. And it doesn’t look like a store, either. It’s a renovated hundred-year-old house. Complete with root cellar in the basement and a converted apartment on the second floor.”

  “Let me guess, your family stores a lot more than vegetables in the cellar.”

  “Of course we do,” Sara said proudly. “And the apartment is stocked with clothes and other things we’d need to live there long term.”

  “And no one’s noticed the store doubles as a bunker?” Dane asked, turning onto a larger paved road, which appeared more or less empty.

  A few cars were either stalled out or abandoned for some other reason. He had to slow down, weaving in and around the obstacles. Sara glanced into the vehicles as they drove by, not knowing what she expected to see. Most looked empty, doors hanging open with not an occupant to be seen.

  “No one is allowed upstairs, and in fact, the stairwell is hidden, so once you’re in the bookstore, you forget there is an upstairs to the house. It’s like walking into a house of illusions.”

  “Why a bookstore? If you’re so into survival and your brother owns a store, why not a survivalist store or a hunting and tackle shop?”

  “Because it’s just like you said. Those kinds of places would become targets for looters when people realize they’re on their own. Who’s going to care about a bunch of old books?”

  “Good point.”

  As they drove past the next car, movement inside of it caught Sara’s attention. “Stop,” she said, twisting in her seat to get a better view.

  “What?” Dane asked, slamming on the brakes.

  Sara’s seatbelt locked against her, and she was instantly thankful the force of habit had compelled her to put it on in the first place. Without it, she would have just smacked into the dashboard.

  “I thought I saw something move inside that car.” Sara unbuckled and reached for the door handle.

  “All the better reason to keep going.” Dane crept the truck forward again.

  “No. Stop. I saw it again. I have to find out what it is.”

  “Don’t go out there!” Dane yelled as she jumped out.

  He cursed behind her, but she didn’t care. If she didn’t at least look, she’d always wonder what had been in the car they’d left behind. She already had enough things to worry and wonder about. She didn’t need to add one more.

  Creeping up toward the car, she pulled her knife from its sheath. A gun would be better protection against an unknown, but she felt more comfortable with her knife. She noted Dane’s presence behind her without having to turn around. She liked knowing he had her back as she drew closer to the car. Had she been on her own, she would have second-guessed herself.

  When she reached the front bumper, she crouched low, so she could scoot forward below the level of the windows. Her breath caught in her throat, and she prayed she hadn’t made a stupid mistake, getting out of the safety of the truck. What could be worth this stress and anxiety?

  Just as she got to the driver’s side window, something banged and scratched against the glass. Sara yelped and jumped, knocking into Dane. He steadied her with a hand on her waist and his other outstretched beside her, aiming a gun at the car.

  Inside, a large dog barked and panted, wagging its tail so hard its entire hindquarters swayed. Sara sagged against Dane as she released the breath she’d been holding.

  “Oh, thank God. It’s a dog. I damn near had a heart attack when it jumped against the window. I thought we were about to get eaten by a zombie.” Sara laughed nervously as she reached for the handle.

  “You’re not going to open that, are you?” Dane asked, coming up beside her and leaning against the door, preventing her from opening it.

  “We can’t leave him in there.” She could make out ribs through the dog’s skin, saw feces on the floor, and a bag of chips that had been torn open and the inside licked clean. The dog had obviously been in there awhile, and she couldn’t leave him in there and walk away. “He’s trapped. And who knows for how long? We have to let him out so he has a chance at survival.”

  “We don’t know why he’s in there or where his owner is. What if they went into the woods to hunt? They could be here any second. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be looking as if I’m looting someone’s car when they return to it.”

  “I can’t leave it there to die,” Sara said, not believing her ears. Was this the same Dane who’d taken her in and
kept her safe? “Get out of my way. I’m opening this whether you like it or not.”

  “You don’t even know if it’s dangerous.” Dane threw his hands up in obvious frustration.

  She peered at the dog pawing at the window, his tail still wagging frantically. “You’re right. The tail wagging is terrifying, but somehow I’ll muster up the strength to risk it.”

  Sara pushed Dane out of the way with both hands. He swayed, off balance, and staggered a step away from the car to catch himself. By the time he’d turned around, she’d opened the door and the dog bounded out. He jumped in circles around her legs for a few chaotic seconds then sprinted off toward the woods, barking.

  Sara found the lever for the trunk release and popped it.

  “What the hell are you doing? Looting?” Dane stood away from the car, looking indignant as he scanned the area for anyone approaching.

  “I already let their dog loose, I may as well see if they left anything worth taking while I’m here. I can’t imagine you’re going to stop the truck again the next time I tell you to.”

  “Damn right I’m not. This was stupid and dangerous and unnecessary.”

  Sara scrounged through the bags in the trunk. She found a handful of beef jerky, a couple bags of nuts, and a few sealed plastic bottles of water. “Jackpot.” She tossed a bottle at Dane, who caught it with one hand.

  “Great. Let’s go.” He motioned for her to head to the truck, and she obliged, not wanting to linger at the vehicle longer than necessary.

  She’d done her good deed for the day, and karma would be kind to her in return. And as an added bonus, they had new snacks and extra water. All in all, it had been worth for the stop.

  They climbed into the truck, and she dropped her new goodies onto the floor. Just as she reached for her seatbelt, Dane pulled her across the bench toward him. He slipped her mask from her face then wrapped his hand around her jaw, securing her head against the seat. He peered into her eyes with an intensity she hadn’t seen since he’d saved her from the intruder who’d threatened her just a few days after they’d met. Without a word, he claimed her mouth. His kiss wasn’t soft or gentle. It wasn’t loving or tender. His kiss was raw and powerful, passionate and needy.