by Daria Kacie
“Yes,” said Tom, his eyes cast down at the floor. “I dated her before we met. She was four years younger than I was. I met her the summer before college. She was a nice girl but she was young. And then…. I met you. I didn’t know how to tell her.”
“Soooo? What? Were you seeing her while we were going out?” asked Deanna feeling her face getting hot.
“No! Yes! Not exactly! I did see her a few times while we were going out but nothing happened and it was before we were committed,” Tom put his hand on his head, as he looked deep into Deanna’s eyes.
“And…?” Deanna glared at her husband. “You slept with her?”
“How does that matter now? I fell in love with you! Instead of telling her, I just quit calling her,” Tom said. He looked down at the floor hoping to avoid his wife’s angry eyes. All the pressure from the past and present pushed him to the edge of breaking down.
“So, you did sleep with her?” Deanna asked, thoroughly disgusted.
“It was only once and it was before you and I met.” Tom said. He wanted some foothold to defend himself but could find none.
All the women sank back in their seats. They realized they were in the middle of something that they couldn’t have predicted. Greg sat silently, not knowing what to say or think as his angry mother stormed at his father.
“So how did she find out?” Deanna yelled back.
“I heard she saw our engagement picture in the paper,” Tom said softly.
“Wow!” said Deanna, “You were an asshole! I’m sorry Sunday, I had no idea! No wonder she’s throwing pictures at my head.”
“Doesn’t it count that I fell in love with you and married you?” Tom pleaded.
“It does, but Tom,” Deanna said hardly knowing how to react to the information, “it’s just very, very sad and tragic! I can’t imagine what her parents went through.”
Janet stood up to meet the couple in the middle of the room. She reached out and clasped their hands.
“Sunday appreciates the sentiment, but she emphasized again that this is not all about you. She needs to reach her brother, her family.”
“I need to know,” said Tom, “would it have made a difference had I told her in person?”
“You’re off the hook Tom. She says she was in love with you and didn’t mean to kill herself in the first place. She doesn’t know that telling her in person would have changed her reaction. Maybe things would have turned out differently, but the bottom line is, it is too late. She keeps showing me ‘Josh Now.’ She just wants to get a message to her brother. Will you do it?”
“Josh now?” said Deanna, “that’s what she wrote on the mirror, ‘JOSH NOW’. ”
Tom looked at Deanna, “Are you ok with me finding Josh?”
She nodded, “Of course, help Sunday finish this so she can be in peace.”
Lizzy finally piped up, “Do you know how to reach Josh?”
“Not exactly, but I heard he was a counselor here in town. I can find him.”
“Does this mean she will be with us until then?” asked Greg, worried about never having a full night’s sleep again.
“She says she will quiet down as long as you find her brother so she can talk to him,”
Janet was a little shocked at just how much information was flowing through her. She felt excited and a little frightening at the same time. Was it real or was she just making stuff up? Doubts plagued her. Sunday told her there was something in Tom’s wallet.
“What’s in your wallet, Tom?” Janet asked.
“What?”
“She says there is something in your wallet that I need to see.”
Tom reluctantly reached his wallet and pulled out the weathered newspaper clipping of Sunday’s obituary.
“Thanks,” said Janet. She knew she couldn’t have known about that and it made her feel more confident that the information she was receiving was real. Trust yourself, she thought.
Tom dropped back onto the couch and began to cry. His wife and son watched motionless. Greg couldn’t ever remember seeing his father cry. Tom wept as over twenty years of guilt and silent grief spilled out. He had always been so sorry for what happened. Tom spoke out-loud to Sunday, “I did like you Sunny. It was not your fault, there was nothing wrong with you. I just fell in love with someone else and you were so young. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
Janet patted Tom’s hand, “She appreciates that but you still have to talk to her brother.”
“I will,” said Tom. “I promise to find Josh.”
Lizzy handed Tom her card with her cell number, “Call me when you find him and we will set up some kind of meeting.”
Tom shook his head, worried, “I’m telling you it might be difficult, this guy can’t stand me.”
“It will work out. Find Josh and we will find a way to work out the rest,” Lizzy said.
They all hugged each other goodbye. Deanna and Tom thanked everyone for their help. Greg, Tina and Anna were grateful and hopeful that their ordeal was over. They all looked forward to uninterrupted sleep.
The three women drove home. Lizzy arrived at Karen’s first.
“I’m not coming back,” said Karen as she gathered her belongings. “I don’t want to be involved in this anymore. I said I would help with the blessing and I did. I hope you understand.”
“I do understand, but I can’t back out in the middle of this. Are you still in Janet?” asked Lizzy.
“I am,” said Janet. She had a deep desire to help others and felt suddenly invigorated with the results her gift had generated that day. “I’m definitely in.
“Thanks for understanding, Lizzy.” Karen said.
“If you change your mind…”
“I won’t,” said Karen. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”
Chapter 15
Josh Stewart, a chiseled specimen of manhood, took a lot of pride in his ability to stay disciplined with his workout routines. Standing 6’ 2” with 230 pounds of ripped muscle, unlike his boyish self, he was quite an imposing figure.
He graduated with his Masters in Psychology from Harvard. After his sister died, he had thrown himself into his studies and graduated from high school at the top of his class. He secured a scholarship and between working like a dog and the support from his parents, he graduated from Harvard and became a Licensed Therapist. His passion pushed him to help those who were in pain. His work became his mission to work with teenagers and adults who may be at risk for suicide. He provided a support group for families dealing with the grief and devastation suicide leaves surviving family members.
Who would know better than me? He had often thought as he moved hundreds of clients through their grief process. His sister’s death had indeed shaped his path, his life, in more ways than one. Josh met Cynthia his first year attending Harvard. Tall, blonde and smart, he couldn’t believe she wanted to be with him. She was his first ‘real’ girlfriend and his last. Through Junior High and High School Josh sported a short stocky figure. His mother kept telling him he would grow, that the men in their family seemed to bulk up before they grew up. She meant it literally and Josh prayed she was right. His father and uncles were all 6’2” or taller. For years he felt like a troll under the bridge. Awkward and shy through school, Josh had little experience with ‘the ladies’. He was the quintessential late bloomer, just as his mother promised, he grew almost ten painful inches between his Junior Year of High School and his first year of college. He remembered he barely recognized himself at times. This added up to a very clueless man where it came to his new effect on women.
Cynthia noticed him right away. A lot of the girls on campus noticed Josh. She knew what she wanted and she got him. They hit if off immediately and he was flattered that this beautiful debutante liked him. At the time, he allowed himself to believe she was the perfect girl for him. They married his sophomore year. Looking back now, he realized that may have been a little premature. After graduation, Josh talked her into moving back to Oregon with him.
He set up his practice just an hour from the town where Sunday had died.
Cynthia’s family liked Josh well enough but had always felt she married beneath her. She hated Oregon and wanted to move back to Connecticut where her family was quite prolific. The early years of their marriage were filled with school, work, and their combined drive to finish what they had started. Cynthia received her Master’s degree in business and had moved quickly up the ladder at a large bank. Everything had moved so fast when they met. Josh liked her and the way she looked, but there were many things between the two that did not connect. She came from money and had certain expectations regarding the style she wanted to live in and persona she desired to portray. Josh had a tough exterior but it simply guarded his sensitive soul. She had pushed to get married quickly and Josh had naively agreed under the pressure. He still liked her and a kind of love had grown between them, but overall the relationship was passionless. After 18 years of marriage, he accepted it as comfortable. They made a nice looking couple with their big smiles and beautiful faces, but as the years wore on it was obvious they had very little in common except they both worked long hours and liked good food. Josh had come to the conclusion years ago that their work schedules may possibly have been the reason their relationship had lasted as long as it had. His last patient left that afternoon around 4:30 p.m. He contemplated whether to go home early or finish developing a program for families in his grief counseling group, when the phone rang. He could not have prepared himself for the story about to be to him by the women on the other end of the line.
“Hello, Josh Stewart, please,” said Lizzy in her most professional voice.
“This is Josh.”
Lizzy didn’t know where to start. She paused and suddenly felt stymied.
“Hello?” Josh repeated.
“Hello,” Lizzy stuttered, “My name is Lizzy Sterling and I’ve had a strange experience over the last month. What I’m about to say is going to sound crazy so I was hoping you would be willing to hear me out before passing judgment. A couple of friends and I would like to meet with you so we can accomplish a task that has inadvertently become our responsibility.”
“Well, shoot,” said Josh, his curiosity peaked.
“Through a strange set of circumstances,” Lizzy paused before she launched into what she felt was sure to be a sensitive area for Josh, “I have had, or rather a couple friends that I work with have been contacted by your….sister.”
There was silence for what seemed like a lifetime. Josh was so taken off guard he didn’t know how to respond.
“My sister is dead Miss. She died 20 years ago. You must be mistaken.”
“Mr. Stewart, I am aware that your sister has passed. What I’m telling you, I am sure sounds crazy, but she has contacted several people over the last few weeks. I have a friend who is a sensitive or rather a psychic. She has been able to decipher and receive a message from Sunday. Unfortunately, Sunday has demanded that a certain person bring the message to you personally.”
“I don’t know who you are, but I have to tell you I don’t appreciate this!” Josh said sternly. Who does this? Is this some sick joke? he thought, waiting for Lizzy’s response.
Lizzy stayed calm and focused.
“Mr. Stewart, I know this must sound unbelievable but please hear me out. The home you lived in, where your sister passed, has been haunted with her spirit for twenty years. My girlfriend lives a couple of streets over from the house. Her children are friends with the girl and boy who currently reside there. They told my friend’s son that they were scared and there was paranormal activity in their house. This information, however, came after one of the children had visited my friend’s house. Shortly after this visit, my friend began to experience strange activity in her home. She had lived there for two years and never had anything like this happen. I went to her home to do a blessing and see if we could clear the spirit out of her house. The ceremony seemed to have worked as she hadn’t had any activity for a few weeks. Then a week ago, her daughter’s friend called her to say she was frightened and that there was odd activity occurring at her triplex.
Two other housemates confirmed having some kind of paranormal experience as well. It had apparently attached to this girl when she was visiting my friend. It then appeared, that Sunday, attached herself to the boy who lives next door in the triplex and traveled home with him. I am no ‘Ghostbuster’ sir, this simply started because I was trying to help a friend. I’m now neck deep into something, which honestly, I feel I need to see it through to its conclusion. I am calling you because your sister, Sunday, made her wishes clear to my friend, the psychic. She has a message for you and she will not transcend, move into the light that is, until she imparts this message to you.” Lizzy paused; silence filled the uncomfortable seconds. “She is a trapped soul! I now feel a responsibility to get her where she needs to go, and to do that you must agree to meet with us.”
“Give me your number,” Josh snapped. “I will have to call you back.”
Lizzy reeled off her cell number and emphasized before hanging up, “Your sister is stuck. She wants contact with you and the sooner we meet the better.”
“I will call you back,” Josh repeated firmly and hung up.
Josh sat in silence for a long time. He ran the terrible hours of that day shortly after his 12th birthday over in his mind. He had messed around after school and had gotten home a little later than normal. When he arrived, he found Sunday on the couch. He thought she was sleeping and snuck up to scare her. He grabbed her shoulder and yelled, “Boo!” in her ear but she didn’t move.
“Sunday?” he said as he shook her shoulder. “Sunday!” he yelled. She still didn’t move. “This isn’t funny!” he said loudly in her ear. She still didn’t move. He turned her over and her blue lips seemed to leap off her face. He panicked but managed to run to the phone and called 911. The 911 operator asked, “Is she breathing?” Josh pulled her over accidently pulling her to the floor.
Josh screamed into the phone, “her lips are blue, her lips are blue!” He laid his head on her chest but heard nothing. “No heartbeat! Please get someone here now!” he screamed the tears rolling down his cheeks.
Josh loved his big sister. Of course, they had their sibling moments but she was a kind girl and always protective of Josh. He held her in his lap and lightly smoothed her forehead with his hand. The paramedics burst through the front door to find a sorry scene of a young boy cradling his dead sister in his arms.
“Her lips are blue,” is all he would say.
His parents were called and they met him at the hospital, but it was too late, their daughter was dead. The doctors told his parents that Sunday had been dead for over an hour by the time Josh found Sunday. He could never quite let himself off the hook, feeling he could have stopped her. Even though the doctor assured him he could not have saved her, even had he come home earlier, Josh could not stop blaming himself. All these years later, he still could not figure how he missed the signs of his ‘suicidal’ sister. She had not been a depressed girl. Popular and loved she should have lived a long happy life. It was damn Tom Hoskins. He loved her and left her. He jilted her and never had the courage to tell her he was done with her. Josh remembered one of his favorite ‘kill Tom’ fantasy’s and smiled.
The devastation of his sister’s death was swift. The family moved within a month of her death. Josh knew his parents tried to be strong for him but he could see the strain and the sadness that permeated their lives. The weight of the grief they felt was unbearable at times. The new knowledge that anything can happen, at any time, and can level the life you know, was a lot for a twelve year old to handle. Frankly, it was a lot for his parents to handle.
Josh’s experience definitely enhanced his sensitivity as a therapist. He picked up gentle nuances of people who were a danger to themselves. He didn’t know how many clients he had talked off the ledge or even just put a spotlight on what they were thinking of doing. He helped his clients reframe their
lives before they did something that they could never take back. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in an afterlife, but this ‘out of the blue’ call threw him for a loop. He couldn’t imagine someone just making up a story like this to torture him.
The dull colors of dusk pushed across the horizon. He looked at the round clock on the wall and was surprised it was already 6:30 p.m. Cynthia would be home by now. He rolled his eyes and sighed, There is no way I’m telling her about any of this!
Lizzy stopped by Karen’s for a pep talk that encouraged her to finally make the call to Josh.
“Uhm, I could tell he was thoroughly annoyed or thought I was a crazy.”
“He’s a therapist, he’ll get over it. We know what we experienced. It’s not our fault we’ve met up with some ghost with a mission,” Karen said, trying to help Lizzy feel better. She knew she wouldn’t have been able to make the call.
“It appears from the research I’ve been doing that most spirits or earth bound ghosts, who are still on the earth plane, have a mission. In a way, they are stuck, some by choice some by confusion,” Lizzy said. She felt genuinely sad about the plight of the souls who were stuck in between life and the light. She believed she might be able to help them with their unfinished business.
“Alright,” said Karen, “you are doing what she asked, so stop this brooding.”
“What if he doesn’t call back? Will Sunday go on a rampage at Tom and Deanna’s house?”
“This has been a long few weeks, you’re doing the best you can,” said Karen.
Lizzy suddenly jumped up, paced around the room to push down her panic.
“What if I’m not doing the best I can do? She said, arms flailing. “I don’t even know WHAT I’m doing. I thought I had done a successful blessing on your house. I’ve realized I haven’t done or been successful at anything. I’ve blessed two houses that didn’t even have a spirit in them. Who knows if I even have one clue about how to be successful at any of this. I’ve basically been blessing an empty box!” she rolled her eyes, shook her head and continued to stomp around the room. “Technically, I’m a failure.”