by S. K Munt
Grinning at her own hopelessness after re-reading the entry, Leigh hit ‘post’ and then switched from Word Press to the app store, pulling up the Amazon Kindle app and feeling her heart palpitate when the little circle began to blink in its download way. Why tell Ryan, when she could let him read about himself- himself?
*
The new room was lovely- almost identical to the one upstairs, but without the spa and extra television, and with less space and trimmings. She even had a view of the falls still- just on more of an angle, but that worked for her too, because there had been less glare coming off the white water and blinding her.
Leigh immediately began to regret making a date with Bruce, for he called three times while she was unpacking her stuff, first offering her a complimentary breakfast, and then pleading with her twice to let him make the arrangements to keep her in the fancier room. It was exhausting, but she stood her ground, told him she’d see him later that evening, pleaded with the gods silently that he’d leave her alone until then and then allowed him to call her a cab to take her to the outlet mall.
Leigh finished her Burger King breakfast as she stood at the counter of a huge electronics warehouse and haggled a new iPad down to five hundred dollars, CA. She hadn’t allowed her guilty conscience to come between her and her selection of the newest, fastest model because it was much cheaper than it would have been back home, and even though she hadn’t earned a free one from Ryan, she knew she’d definitely earned one for herself. She bought a temporary sim card loaded with data and was setting the iPad up as she perused the other stores within the same wing without venturing off the grid. It seemed like a shopping paradise of sorts, and though Leigh handed over twenty bucks at the Guess outlet for a tight-fitting red tee with the brand spelled across the front in brushed, metallic paint, her interest in shopping was minimal. After all, she had a town to explore, a boat to catch and a hottie’s mind to blow- and no pair of half price boots could quell her excitement for those activities. Well, except for the hottie part. The view was going to be scenic sure, but the terrain was bound to be treacherous. What on earth was she going to say to him? How would she start?
Once she’d had her fill of window-shopping, premature tinsel decorations and corny carols, Leigh caught a curry-scented cab back to the promenade by the falls. It dropped her off right in front of the Maid Of The Mist depot, and on the curry-scented cab driver’s advice, she went right inside and bought herself a ticket for the next departing boat, grinning like the foolish tourist she was beneath the façade of the roaming reader. Leigh hadn’t intended to jump on one of the famous tour boats like cattle, but now that she was there, amidst it all, the desire to follow the road well travelled was impossible to ignore. Besides, she still had five and a half days to start visiting the hot spots from The Hardest Fall- so there was no rush.
Leigh strolled idly along the parkway as she cuddled her hardcover edition of Kathryn Praser’s novel and daydreamed about her Ryan, Justin and Kylie walking those same steps. She stroked the glossy, worn cover lovingly with her fingers as she walked, tracing the textured surface. It was a very simple cover: a waterfall that was more conceptual than photographic. Almost the entire thing was deep, navy blue, near to black, and streaked with differing shades of blue in places until the bottom of the page, which was frothed like churning water. The title was printed in the middle in metallic silver, simple lettering, and the author’s name was at the bottom in the same font, but half the size.
There was more to the cover than just the falls though, only one had to look very closely to see the way that the water at the bottom was alive with faded, silvery squiggles that was twisted sheet music. Music was the underlying theme of the entire book- Kylie had been a dancer who was the daughter of a rock star and her romantic interests, Ryan and Justin, had been musicians as well. Both men had loved her, and she’d loved them both in return and over the course of their young lives, she’d had a relationship with each at differing times, though she’d always been more attracted to Ryan, but closer to Justin.
In the end and before she could make her choice, Kylie had turned out to have a severe heart condition requiring a compatible donor, and Ryan had killed himself and left his to her in his living will when he’d sensed that she was going to end up with his more talented, outgoing and vibrant friend. She had undergone the operation, unaware that Ryan was gone until she woke up to a grieving Justin at her bedside, and a new heart that was broken the second she understood what they had both lost.
The Hardest Fall was a tearjerker, and had broken the hearts of a lot of people. It had broken Leigh, time and time again, but it was the sweetest pain she had ever known. And now, as she traced her fingers over the embossed music notes, she realised that although she’d been scared of confronting Ryan with the book and learning, or divulging, the truth behind his name and the connection to her favourite love story in case he blew up, broke down or laughed at her- there was no need for her to be taking it all so personally. If he knew, well, that didn’t change a thing about the book- but if he didn’t know, then telling him could change his life.
The falls were just as loud, and the day was just as windy and bright as it had been when she’d arrived the afternoon before, but Leigh had dressed for the algid weather this time and felt much more at ease out in the elements. She’d left the mittens in the suitcase where they belonged, and though her fingers were cold and stiff after just five minutes out in the autumn morning breeze, she had more motor skills that way than she had with the alternative, and she felt composed and ready to handle anything.
Leigh checked the time on the delicate pocket watch that her parents had given her for her eighteenth birthday, and nodded when she confirmed that she had over forty minutes left until her boat left. She tucked the locket back into the high collar of her top (Leigh had taken to clipping the watch to her bra as she didn’t always wear clothes that had pockets) and then stuffed her ticket deep into the zippered section of her oversized handbag, and was wondering whether she should try and seek Ryan out straight away, or sit down and catch up with her blog on the grassy knoll running parallel to the crowded footpath when she heard it: Turn The page, the Metallica version, sang by a much more melodic voice than any who had covered it before had ever possessed.
Yet another song from the book’s playlist! Okay no, I have to go into this with my glasses polished and my brain switched on! How can all of the similarities between this amnesia patient and this novel be coincidental? It’s just not possible!
Leigh looked up, over the heads of the other tourists and the hawking locals, and actually groaned when she saw him on the incline of the grassy hill beneath the exact same tree that he’d stood under the day before. He was sitting this time though, his long legs folded Indian style, while he reclined back against what Leigh now understood was a Maple tree. Leigh narrowed her eyes at him resentfully for a moment, forgetting her empathy and loathing him for making her heartbeat fluctuate, just by existing! Who the hell had eyes with a hue so bright, that it was visible from twenty metres away, anyway? Guys in books, that was who- and people in costume with contacts. Liars! Pretenders!
I’ll have to check when I’m close enough, because if they’re contacts, I’ll be able to tell, won’t I? Hmm… might have to wrestle him down so I can check properly though...
Unaware of how his presence was melting the girl he couldn’t stand, Ryan strummed almost thoughtlessly while gazing up at the sky, looking as though he were trying to escape notice rather than wow the crowd like most other buskers, who tended to play with desperation in their eyes and strain in their throats. He was asking for change, without asking for anything, and people were responding. She hadn’t noticed the day before, because he’d stopped playing the moment he’d literally stepped into her picture, but now that she was approaching him slowly and from a distance, she realised that if she wanted to address him, she was going to have to push through a gaggle of admirers and fear froze her in place.
<
br /> Oh my god! How am I going to do this? All of these people! Did I make a fool of myself in front of this many witnesses yesterday? And won’t I just ruin his life a little bit more if I interrupt his set by getting in his face?
Leigh looked from side to side, assessing the situation and losing her nerve when she saw the smiles on people’s faces as they watched Ryan play.
‘Lord, he’s gorgeous.’
‘What a voice!’
‘Best cover I’ve heard…’
‘Falls?’ A giggle. ‘What falls?’
Amen sister. I hate him for it but A-freaking-men!
Leigh looked back to Ryan and smiled tightly, knowing that there was no way that she was going to steal his thunder by striking him like lightning while he was doing so well. And she didn’t want to interrupt him anyway- his gravelly, sultry voice was doing the same thing to her as it was to everyone else only more intensely because he’d never been more Ryan Weaver than he was in that moment, and Leigh loved him the way a flawed human woman could never love a flawed human man in real life.
I don’t want to confront him- I want to enjoy him! I want to soak him up! I want to read Kathryn Praser’s words while I listen to Ryan’s voice! That’s not so crazy, is it? And now that I’ve let the bloggers know what a nutcase I am, I may as well give them a full report!
Leigh looked down at the book in her hands and felt a shiver of anticipation rush through her. She’d go sit somewhere, probably above him on the hill where he was unlikely to notice her, and read along to his music, stare at the falls when she was inclined to, and wait for her boat. Maybe he’d take a break and she’d get a chance to approach him, or if he didn’t, maybe he’d still be there with less of an audience when she returned from her tour. But if neither option panned out, she could always ask Bruce to help her track him down when he wasn’t working so that she could handle it in a less public setting, like she would have the night before, if only she’d known about the amnesia thing!
‘...Turn the page…’ the song faded out just as Leigh turned away, and she paused for a moment while she listened to his applause, waiting to see if he’d play on or maybe, take a break. But the fading notes of the Bob Seger song rose again, transforming into something else, and Leigh’s feet sprang roots that dug deeply into the grass beneath her feet when she recognised the tune. It had been mentioned in The Hardest Fall, but only in passing as Ryan’s favourite song, and that reference had been the catalyst for Leigh’s obsession to begin with, moving her from Team Justin, to Team Ryan only a few pages into the novel because his favourite song had been hers for as long as she could remember.
‘See the tree, how big it’s grown…’ Ryan began to sing softly and Leigh actually gasped, whirling around and pressing her hand to her lower stomach. He wasn’t! He couldn’t! Leigh’s eyes filled with tears, the kind of tears that she always developed when she heard so much of a note of that song played, and she must have been louder than she’d thought because a few people on either side of her stirred and turned, just as Ryan’s face lifted, and blue eyes caught hers and widened.
The music stopped yet again but this time, Leigh didn’t turn away because she couldn’t have moved if she tried. For a moment they just stood there, staring at each other, while all manner of accusations bubbled up in her throat, but were kept in check by the emotion choking her.
‘Well, well, well…’ Ryan drawled, looking back down at his guitar before beginning to strum the melody again. ‘She says she’s not a crazy fan and yet she can’t seem to stay away....’
Leigh’s heart clenched when she became aware of the fact that his audience was now hers, and her song was now in his possession, and he was using it to wound her. It couldn’t be a coincidence- none of it- and she was sick of swallowing her words, sick of being intimidated and awestruck by a man who could deflect his own gaze and attention so easily from the blah blonde who was of no import to him, even though he was ruining her life.
Whether he knew he was imitating Ryan Weaver or not no longer mattered, and her empathy for his condition had blown away like so many autumn-dried leaves. All that Leigh knew for certain was that Ryan Weaver had made his way into her story, not as the hero, but as the antagonist, and that it was time to do some serious editing before she lost the plot completely, and he destroyed her most beloved one for her, for good!
Lifting her chin, Leigh began to walk up the hill toward him, and when he looked up and continued to sing her favourite words with mirth in his eyes, tainting that too, Leigh decided to silence the siren- and pegged the book at his guitar, getting his hand and making the melody grate.
‘Dear Ryan!’ she snapped, almost losing her train of thought when she saw that his guitar case was closed, but the ground around him littered with change and notes- some really big ones. What kind of busking technique was that? ‘You suck!’
Ryan was supposed to sing the word ‘Honey’ next, but the word ‘Fuck!’ came out instead as he shook his wounded hand, and Leigh winced before adding:
‘Love from, your number one fan- who wouldn’t screw you or your potty mouth, for all the iPads in the world!’
‘What?’ Ryan’s face had turned red. ‘What is the matter with-’
‘Shut up.’ Leigh yanked his iPad out of her bag, charger and all, and rested it on top of his case much more carefully than she’d delivered her novel, which she now salvaged from his lap and thumped over his head. ‘That’s for murdering my favourite song AND my favourite book, you lying piece of shit!’
‘Ow!’ His hand went to his head as he jumped to his feet, and his expression was murderous. ‘What is the MATTER with you?’
‘You’ve got a kindle app on there- read what my problem is with you for yourself and then sort it out, before the next obsessive reader you meet is less like me, and more like Mark David Chapman!’ Leigh turned and marched away, raising her eyes to the slack-jawed crowd and smirking in triumph when they stood aside for her to pass through like she, itty-bitty, mousy and four-eyed Leigh Dallas-Hone, book-geek extraordinaire- actually made them nervous! Laughing, she pulled out her new iPad, opened up the web browser to her blog, logged in and immediately began to type as she walked.
Dear Bloggers, I just beat Ryan Weaver over the head with a copy of The Hardest Fall. That’s probably going to sound a bit odd to you but believe me when I say that it feels so right! Now I’m off to see the waterfalls up close and personal, and seriously contemplate switching to Team Justin!
Question of the day: What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done, for love of a book? Comment to make me feel better about myself!
Smiling, Leigh hit ‘Post’ and looked up just in time to spy Greta waddling down the incline, lighting a cigarette and glancing around with the keen interest of a busy-body, looking for someone’s day to ruin. Leigh swerved to the left and hid behind the trunk of another maple tree, grinning proudly.
Maybe her parents had stunted her growth but there, under the shade of the romantic tree, Leigh grew a little taller, even if she was a twenty-three year old woman playing hide and seek.
Six
Leigh passed the next half an hour reading behind another maple tree removed from the most crowded section of the parkway. Her view of the falls was non-existent from up near the road, due to the lush gardens positioned between her and the river, but she wanted to be off the radar and so that meant surrendering her view of the main attraction.
After the first ten minutes had passed and no one had called out to her to give her hell about what she’d done to the musician, arrest her for book bashing, or assault her with a snotty tissue, Leigh felt her muscles unclench. She lay down on her side, propping herself up on her elbow and cradling her head in her palm, while her other hand turned the pages. She knew the story so well that the pages flipped as quickly as though rustled by a wind, and by the time she checked her watch and saw that she had only five more minutes left until she had to board The Maid Of The Mist, she’d read eleven chapters, and was u
p to the part where Kylie and Ryan went out on their first date.
Humming Bobby’s Goldsboro’s ‘Honey’ to wrestle its melody free from Ryan’s fresh vocal hold on it in her memory, Leigh closed the book, rose to her feet and stretched, feeling one hundred percent better about everything. Now that she had Kathryn Praser’s words back in her head, she couldn’t believe that she’d allowed anything to come between them and the fantasy they forged for Leigh in the first place. She gathered her things together, hugged her book with affection and because she was cold and needed to wrap herself around something, and began to trek back down to the dock. But she hadn’t taken more than six or seven steps when HE materialised from behind a maple tree, his mouth hard, and his eyes tight- his entire countenance wrathful.
‘You,’ he growled, as her spirits sank and her steps slowed. Just like the night before, he looked even more alluring when angry. ‘I KNEW you were lurking around here somewhere! Do you know how many laps of the promenade I’ve done, looking for you?’
Leigh felt flustered by the sight of him, but not the way she had been the last three times their paths had crossed and so, she quickened her steps and moved to stride around him and to her destination, keeping her eyes on the eaves of the building she needed to get to- and off the angry hunk of, well, hunk.
‘I’m lurking? Says the guy who just stepped out from behind a tree?’ she asked, keeping her tone light and her eyes on her goal. ‘Little dramatic and ironic, don’t you think?’
‘Me? Dramatic? Of all the-’ he made a frustrated sound as she passed him by with her nose in the air. ‘Oh! So, after causing the biggest scene that a woman has caused in Niagara since Monroe filmed here, you’re just gonna waltz off and ignore me like my existence is of no consequence to you?’