by Kim Loraine
He winks. “Yes, you will.”
Chapter 6
Sawyer
Jesus, this woman is going to ruin me. I’d been seconds away from kidnapping Clover and taking her back to my room. Fuck the wedding. They’d be fine without us, I was sure. But, we did the right thing and both took our respective positions. Now, we’re waiting to walk down the aisle, her arm tucked into mine, the delicious scent of her perfume making my cock ache for her. But it’s more than just sex. I missed her. Not her body. Her. I wanted her smile, the sound of her voice, the feel of her silky hair under my fingers. I know it’s crazy, but I don’t think I’ll be able to stand being without her when this is over.
“Are you pissed about something?” Clover’s soft voice fills my ears, bringing me back from my thoughts.
“What? No.”
“Okay, because you look ready to kill someone right now.”
Forcing myself to relax, I let my gaze find hers. “It’s hard to be relaxed with such a beautiful woman next to me. Especially when I know what she’s got on under that dress.”
Bright spots of pink blossom on her cheeks. “It’s not easy for me either.”
Good. I don’t want to be the only one struggling with this. I want her to feel the same thing, the same pull to be together. Our music starts and she grins at me as I lead us down the aisle. I’m not ready to let her go when we reach the altar, but she slides out of my grip and leaves me.
I don’t see the ceremony. My eyes are trained on her and hers are on me. What am I going to do when I have to let her go?
Dave and Kelsey are pronounced husband and wife while I ponder life without Clover. I barely register the closing of the ceremony and honestly, if it weren’t for Clover’s wide smile, I wouldn’t have moved. But she steps toward me, her hand outstretched for mine and I go to her.
“Can we skip the reception?” I ask, completely serious.
She laughs and shakes her head. “I think Kelsey would break up with me if we did that.”
We smile for the cameras, shake hands, make idle chit-chat with relatives of the bride and groom, and it’s all a slow form of torture. I’m done sharing her. I want Clover all to myself until we have to say goodbye. Until I return to real life, responsibilities, but most of all, a life without her.
My hand never leaves the small of her back. I need to be touching her as long as possible. Right now, she’s mine in every way. As soon as the happy couple cuts the cake and the first dance is over, I thread my fingers with hers and pull her onto the dance floor. If I can’t have her alone, I’ll at least hold her close and breathe her in.
“So, tell me more about you,” she says, her dark eyes staring into mine.
I shrug. I don’t like to talk about this part of me, the part that loves my brothers and my mom, but resents the massive change in my life because of them. I feel like such a selfish ass. “Nothing much to tell. I’m pretty normal.”
“No dark family secrets?”
“No.”
She stiffens. Have I said something wrong?
“How about you? I know you’re a romance blogging librarian.”
A soft giggle falls from her. “Book store manager.”
“And you’re a good Catholic girl who let me do dirty things to her.”
Her grin makes me forget everything else. Our obligations are done. And now, I’m going to love her like I don’t have to ever let her go.
“Come on, sweetness. We’ve got tonight. Let’s make it count.”
I watch her for signs of arousal, the lip bite, flushed cheeks, tight shoulders. They’re all there. She wants me just as bad as I’ve wanted her all damn day.
I take her to the lobby, the weight of our limited time heavy between us. Her fingers grip mine, tight and unwavering. “Can we pretend this isn’t the end?” she asks. Her words break my heart. I don’t want it to be over.
“It doesn’t have to be.”
Her eyes flash with fear. “Yes, it does. We didn’t plan on this going anywhere. Two-night-stand, remember?”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” Anger colors my tone as we stand in front of the elevator. “We can make this work. All we have to do is dive in.”
“It’s not stupid. I’ve dated guys like you before. You won’t open up and share your life. That’s not what I need. I need someone I can count on to be honest.”
“When have I lied to you?”
She scoffs and steps away from me. “You wouldn’t even tell me about your family. Your mom? Your brothers?”
“Who told you about them?” I wasn’t ready to talk about them yet. Not now. Not when I finally got what I wanted, escape for a few days. “That’s nobody’s business..”
Her lower lip trembles. Fuck, I’ve made her cry. “You know what? You’re right. It’s not my business. So, let’s just call this what it really was. A one-night-stand. Thanks for taking care of the pesky little problem of my virginity.”
She storms away, heels clicking sharply on the marble floor. I don’t know where she thinks she’s going or how she plans to get away, but I have every intention of going after her. Until my phone rings and my world changes.
Chapter 7
Clover
A month after Kelsey and Dave’s wedding, I’m still being tagged in photos from the celebration. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t hurt to see me with Sawyer. The adoration in my gaze is so obvious anyone would recognize it. I looked like a woman in love, and, he looked just as smitten with me. But he showed his true colors, and I shouldn’t have let him sweep me off my feet so fast.
Shoving my phone into my purse, I lock up the book store and head home. It’s been a long few weeks and I’m looking forward to a few days off, some quality time with Netflix, and a few advanced reader copies of some highly anticipated romances. My blog has been severely lacking post-Sawyer and a big part of that is the fact that I can’t get into anything remotely romantic without depression setting in.
My little house is within walking distance, cozy and tidy, the two bedroom cottage was all I could afford, even with a roommate, but it’s always been enough for me. The light in the living room is on and I smile at the knowledge that Kirsten is home. Our hours are usually opposite, so we don’t see each other much, but she’s been living with me the better part of a year. When I unlock the door, I smell Indian curry and hear the opening credits of Westworld playing.
“Hey, K. I didn’t know you were going to be home tonight,” I call.
She doesn’t answer, and when I round the corner I see why. She’s wrapped up in a leggy blonde, both of them oblivious to my presence. Good for her. I leave the two women to enjoy their night, snag a plate of curry, and take myself to my room. At least someone is getting some action around here.
Hours later, I’ve polished off my dinner, read a steamy mountain man novella, and posted a review on my blog. I’m nodding off at my desk, the long week getting to me. Eyelids heavy, I trudge into the bathroom and brush my teeth before falling into bed.
I’m jolted awake by the scent of smoke and the shrill screech of the fire alarm. Fear instantly takes hold in my chest. What the hell is happening? My room is dark, thick smoke making everything hard to see. What was it we learned in school? Stop, drop, roll? No. That’s only if you’re on fire. Crawl. Smoke is hotter than air. I immediately drop to my knees and crawl through the gray cloud, desperate to find my door. Putting my palm on the wood, I feel for heat and find it cool. Thank God. I open the door and continue until I reach the stairs. Shit. I can’t crawl down the stairs. I call for Kirsten, but cough and choke on the polluted air. Flickering orange light sends terror through me. I can see flames coming from the kitchen. They’re along the wall, up onto the ceiling.
“Firefighter! Call out!” The muffled voice is like a Godsend as I rush down the stairs. I’m lightheaded and my eyes burn.
“Here! I’m here!” I cough so hard I see stars, and by the time I reach the tall figure in bunker gear, I don’t
think I can stay conscious much longer.
I fall into his arms, desperate to be pulled from this inferno. The last thing I hear before darkness takes me is my rescuer’s shocked utterance of, “Clover?”
Chapter 8
Sawyer
I cover Clover’s face with my SCBA mask, giving her the clean air she so desperately needs. Carrying her from the burning house and to the waiting aid car, it’s all I can do not to crush her to me. Her face is streaked with soot and tear tracks and the harsh breaths wheezing from her make me uncomfortable. I don’t know how long she was in there, breathing smoke, before I got to her. As soon as she’s safe with a paramedic, I stalk over to her roommate and tear my jacket off before throwing it to the ground.
“Why the fuck did you not let us know she was in there?” Anger rages inside me and the woman takes a step back.
“I didn’t see her come home. We rarely see each other.”
“She could have died.”
The woman is crying in her date’s arms and I feel like an asshole, but fuck, I’ve seen this happen before. The very real fear that Clover still might not make it races through me. I’ll never forgive myself if I didn’t get her out in time.
“Hey, Harrison, you okay over there?” Anderson, my captain calls out from his position. “What’s happening with the victim?”
“Her name is Clover and I’m going with her.” I shake my head at Clover’s roommate and scoop up my turnout coat.
“Are you serious? We don’t go with the victims. You don’t work the aid car.”
“I’m fucking going, Captain. There’s no way you’ll keep me out of the back of that ambulance. I’m going to marry that girl.” But the moment the words come out of my mouth, I know they’re not true. I stare at him, hard. “I love her.”
His brow furrows. “I didn’t know you had a girl.”
I do. She’s been mine since the moment I saw her, but I wasn’t able to tell her the truth about my feelings. “I need to go with her to the hospital. I can’t stand knowing she’s hurt and not being there to help her.”
He nods. “All right. We’ve got it covered. Fire’s out already. Check in as soon as you can.”
I heave a shaky sigh. “Will do.”
Rushing to her side, I climb into the back of the ambulance and take her hand. She’s breathing on her own, nothing more than an oxygen mask covering her mouth and nose. I assess her vitals while the medic does her job. Pulse is good, BP normal, her pulse-ox isn’t great, but that’s normal for a slight case of smoke inhalation. Relief floods me. She’s going to be okay.
“It’s all right, sweetness. I’ve got you.”
As calm as I appear outwardly, on the inside, I’m dying. Seeing her in any kind of danger shook me. I’ve never known fear like the fear of losing her. She holds my hand, a gentle grip, but a grip nonetheless. I’m not going anywhere. She can hold my hand as long as she needs. If I have it my way, she’ll never let go.
Chapter 9
Clover
“I’m not going home with you,” I tell Sawyer as I check myself out of the hospital. “The doctor said I’m fine. I just need to get a cab back home so I can see what is salvageable. Then I guess I’ll be staying in a hotel.”
“No. Stay with me. I don’t live far from here. I’ve got two spare bedrooms. It’s stupid for you to stay anywhere else.”
Stupid? What is he talking about? “Sawyer, we spent one night together. I’m not going to move in with you.”
“At least let me put you up for the night. Your house isn’t going to be ready for you to go traipsing through until at least tomorrow. Not to mention the investigation that needs to happen for your insurance.”
Tears spring to my eyes. Everything is probably gone. It’ll take forever to replace my home and some of my pictures were the only copies I had. Photos of my parents. Those are moments in time I’ll never get back.
“Hey, hey, sweetness. It’s going to be okay.” He envelops me in his strong arms, pulling me against his chest. God, I’ve missed him.
“I really thought I wasn’t going to get out of there.”
His fingers trail through my hair. “I know. I’m so glad I got there when I did.”
“Me too.”
“Come on.” He presses a soft kiss to my temple and releases me. I don’t want him to let go. “Let’s get you taken care of.”
We walk outside, the fresh air comforting. It’s not until we’re in the cold of the night that I realize I smell like a campfire. God, I need a shower. I need to sleep. But most of all, I need Sawyer.
“Okay,” I say, staring at the stars above us.
“Okay?”
“I’ll come with you. But I’m only staying until I get my insurance stuff all figured out.”
He nods. “Deal.”
He pulls out his phone and dials, holding the device up to his ear as he walks away. I hear him murmuring things, making arrangements. He’s still wearing his protective pants and boots. I didn’t think it was possible for the man to be more gorgeous, but then he burst into my home and literally saved my life. Then he’s back by my side, his warmth comforting. “What was that about?” I ask.
“I’m not leaving you alone. I had to get my shift covered, take a few extra days. My captain said your house is safe to enter, but the kitchen and living room are pretty bad.” He drags a hand over his jaw. “It’s not going to be pretty. We can go collect your stuff tomorrow. See what’s salvageable.”
“My clothes?” I glance down my body at the yoga pants and baggy shirt I’d been sleeping in.
“Depends on where your room is.”
“Opposite end of the house. Upstairs.” I hate the way my voice wobbles, but I’m cold, and the remnants of adrenaline are still rushing through me.
He nods, face unreadable as he wraps me in his arms again. “Should be okay. Everything’s going to smell like smoke though. We’ll get it taken care of, don’t worry. As for tonight, I want to get you home with me, run you a hot bath, and help you forget.”
He must’ve ordered a car because a black sedan pulls up and the driver rolls down his window. “You Sawyer?” the man asks.
Sawyer nods and opens the door for me. Once we’re settled inside, I lean against him, my body aching from fatigue. I drift off, comforted by the scent of the man I haven’t been able to move past.
“Wake up, sweetness. We’re home.” Sawyer’s gentle tone makes me sigh with happiness. But when I blink a few times and remember everything that happened, I have to fight back more tears. “Hey, now. Don’t worry. It’s going to be fine. You’re here with me.”
We get out and I stare at his house. It’s all modern lines and windows, with a neatly manicured yard. “This is yours?”
He nods. “I bought it a year ago.”
“When you came back to help your family?”
Jaw tight, he takes a long breath. “Yeah.”
Disappointment takes hold in my chest. He’s closing off. Why won’t he talk to me about them? We walk in silence to the front door and Sawyer unlocks it, keeping his free hand around my waist. He leads me inside, flipping a switch and filling the hall with light. Pictures line the walls, but I don’t take the time to look at them. I’m so tired.
He scoops me into his arms and carries me up the stairs. “Bath. Then bed. Tomorrow we face the real world, okay?”
I nod. Panic grips my chest as we ascend the stairs. Flashbacks of smoke and heat and terror all hit me at once. I squeeze my eyes shut and hold onto him for dear life.
“Hey, it’s okay. Nothing’s going to happen here. I promise.”
I take deep breaths, needing his scent to eclipse everything else. He sets me on my feet in the bathroom and starts filling the tub. “I’m sorry. I’m a wreck.”
Shaking his head, he turns to me. “You’re not. You just experienced something traumatic that most people never have to go through. It’s okay to fall apart. I’ll be here to put you together again, sweetness.”
He
shrugs off the wide suspenders holding up his turnout pants and let’s the dirty yellow fabric fall to the floor and steps out of his pants and boots. That dark blue fire department T-shirt and uniform trousers combination sparks a wave of need in me.
“You firefighters wear a lot of clothes,” I murmur.
In answer, he pulls his shirt over his head, baring his firm, toned torso. Then he pops the top button of his fly and lowers the zipper. In seconds he’s stripped down to his boxer briefs and leaning over the tub, pouring some kind of bath salts in the water.
“What’s that?”
“Epsom salts with some sort of soothing oil.” His cheeks turn slightly pink. I don’t think I’ve seen him embarrassed. “My mom is into all that. She made them for me.”
My chest lurches. His mom. His mom who got really sick. “That was nice of her.”
He runs a hand over his hair, a soft smile on his lips. “Yeah, she’s pretty great.”
The water fills the tub, steam curling from its surface. Everything smells like chamomile and I’m instantly at ease. I can’t believe I’m here, in his home. I’ve regretted leaving him every day for the last month, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask Kelsey for a way to contact him. Sawyer didn’t come for me. He could have easily stopped me. Instead, he let me go.
I’m not going to waste my second chance. With my gaze focused on him, I pull my shirt over my head and shove my yoga pants down my hips. Sawyer’s eyes roam my naked form. “Is the bath ready?”
He swallows, even the motion of his throat is sexy. “Yes,” he says, the single word tight.
I step in, letting the heat of the water rush over my skin. The scent of the bath salts mixes with the steam and I’m instantly calmer. Though if I’m being honest, just being with Sawyer eases my mind. He’s right. Nothing bad will happen if he’s here. I expect him to drop his boxers to the floor and step in with me, but he moves to the open bathroom door.