Lost Without You (The Lost Series Book 2)

by Tracie Douglas

  “No, I’m not. I’m thinking clearer than I ever have.”

  “Queenie—”

  “Say it.” I move my hand, slowly slipping into his pajama bottoms. I bite back a groan when my hand meets his velvety softness. I grasp him, my hand unable to close around his thickness. He swallows hard. His breath hitches in his chest. “Say you want me.”

  I stroke the length of him, but he grabs my wrist and stops me from moving any further. His dark eyes are liquid and languid. “I want you, but it’s going to change everything between us. I can’t give you what you want, Queenie. You deserve more than I can ever give you.”

  “You’re already giving me everything,” I tell him as my free hand dives into his dark hair, pulling his face down to me. I stand on my tiptoes, running my nose along his jawline. He reaches up with both hands, trapping my face in between them. His liquid eyes search mine for a moment before his lips crash down onto mine.

  Chapter Ten

  Fighting Temptation

  Kingston

  I try fighting it for as long as I can. I want to believe she is in shock, she isn’t thinking clearly, but her words speak too much truth and nearly choke me. I need to taste her. I need to breathe her in. I need to feel her pressed against me until I don’t know where I end and she begins.

  The moment our lips touch, the world feels like it explodes around us. And when she opens her mouth to me, I swear time stands still. Never has a woman affected me the way Missy does. Kissing her is utter perfection and far better than any dream I’ve ever had. I only pray I don’t wake up, because I never want this moment to stop.

  I groan, feeling her hands on my hot skin as they make their way under my clothing. She pulls back, releasing my lips to speak.

  “Kingston.” My name is a plea on her lips, causing me to throb harder with need. Her lips kiss my shoulder and she drags them along my neck, her tongue tasting as she goes. “You feel it.”

  “I feel it.” There is no sense denying what is happening between us. It’s been brewing for a long time. We’ve been fools to believe we could ignore it, acting like it hasn’t been there this whole time. While I’m worried we won’t survive the night, the strength of what is happening right now is sucking us in so deep, so fast. I can’t bear to tear myself away from her.

  She looks up at me, our eyes meet, and my concerns disappear because I see no fear and no worry buried in their emerald depths. I see need, hunger, and a want so great my hearts aches to hear the words come from her plump lips.

  “Say it.” Her lips are inches from mine. I pull her in tighter, feathering my lips against hers. She moans, but I pull away just a bit. “You have to say it, Missy.”

  “Kiss me, Kingston.” The words barely leave her mouth when our lips crush into each other again, and it is earth shattering. I swear the heavens open up and sing. My tongue caresses hers, demanding more, and she opens her mouth further, wrapping her arms around me. My hands travel the length of her curvy body, stopping to brush against her taut nipples. Her hands find their way into my hair, pulling lightly in response.

  I groan and grab her ass with my other hand, lifting her at the same time. She wraps her legs around my waist, and I feel the heat of her core pressed against the rigid hardness of my cock. I move until the wall meets her back, allowing me to grind into her. Pleasure surges through my body from the pressure of our contact.

  “Kingston…”

  “So fucking hot, Queenie.” My voice is husky from the effect of her. “Need to feel you.”

  “Yes…” She nods. “Please…”

  “Gonna take you to the bed.” I cup her cheek, forcing her to look at me. “It’s not going to be gentle. I’ve been waiting for this for far too long. I’m going make you come, again and again.” A new wave of heat fills me, and I feel her body shudder from the intensity of my words. “Make you scream my name enough times you’ll never be the same.”

  She nods in agreement, her green eyes swirling with lust and need.

  Tonight is going to change everything for us, and for once, I’m not worried what this change means. Because looking into her eyes, I know I’ll never be the same man again.

  Missy

  My hands run the length of his corded back muscles. Feeling him, the heat of his skin at the tips of my fingers, is something I’ve only dreamt about. But tonight is more than the dream of him, of this moment. Tonight, I want to own every inch of his body. Tonight, I want him to own every inch of my skin, of my body.

  Damn the consequences. I’ll worry about them in the morning.

  He holds onto me and pulls away from the wall. I wrap my legs tighter around him, afraid to let my toes touch the ground, as it might ruin the illusion we’ve created. He moves into the hallway, heading toward his bedroom. Our eyes never leave one another; the sexual tension swirling around us acts as fuel to the promise of what will happen next.

  When our lips finally meet again, the air crackles and sizzles; I feel the force of the moment throughout my body and savor it.

  He stops in front of the bed and gently places me down onto it. I lean back as his thumbs hook into my panties, and he slowly drags them down my thighs. The scent of my sex fills the air, and he groans. It’s like a beacon calling to him.

  “I can smell you, Queenie.” He leans over me, claiming my lips once more before pulling away again. His hands snake up the length of my legs, moving closer to my core. I feel a surge of wetness; the anticipation of his touch is almost too much for me. His hands glide up the insides of my thighs, but they move past where I’m desperate to feel them. He grabs onto my hips and pulls me to the edge of the bed. He kneels beside it and looks down at me like a starving man. As much as I want his mouth on every part of me, I’m desperate to feel him moving inside of me. I look at him with glazed eyes, reaching for him with both hands.

  “I need you,” I groan, placing my feet firmly against the mattress. “Don’t make me wait. I need to feel you inside of me.”

  “Soon enough, Queenie. First, I need to taste you.” He leans down, running his nose along the inside of my thigh. He inhales deeply, and my hips surge forward in response. The warmth of his exhale tickles the lips of my pussy, and the scruff along his jaw sends a shockwave through my body. I moan loudly, and my hands grip the dark waves of his hair, guiding him to where I need him most. His tongue darts out and licks the length of my slit.

  “Fuck,” I groan loudly. He repeats the motion, this time spreading his tongue flat against me and clamping down to suck hard on my clit. He fills me with one finger and continues his assault. I come unglued, spreading my legs wider for him. I want him to devour me until I can’t breathe, I can’t move. My heart clenches tight in my chest and my body moves in rhythm with him, the sensations of his tongue and finger bringing me closer and closer to the edge. I find myself skirting it, needing him to be the one to push me off. As if he can read my mind, he slips another finger inside me, and it’s all it takes to send me soaring over it.

  My body shudders hard, and I grip his head, pressing his face closer to me. He replaces his fingers with his tongue, lapping up every drop I give him, and he only pulls away as the last of my shuddering stops and my hands loosen their hold on him. I lean back against the bed, feeling absolutely satisfied. But it doesn’t last long as his touch builds a slow burn that begins to fill me and my body starts to crave him even more.

  He kisses my pussy hard before lifting his head and smiling up at me like the cat that got the canary. I smile back at him, reaching for him with my hands.

  “You taste like honey, Queenie,” he murmurs, continuing his kisses up the length of my body before finally settling his lips against mine. I don’t shy away as his tongue plunges into my mouth. I enjoy the taste of myself on him and meet the action with enthusiasm.

  His kiss heats me, and despite the wave of pleasure I’ve experienced at the leisure of his expert mouth, I need more. I need him. I never imagined being with him would make me feel whole and empty at the s
ame time. He left me satisfied but craving more. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get enough of him.

  “Kingston, please,” I beg against his lips. He responds with a deep rumble in his chest. I feel him shift, sliding his shorts down his legs.

  “Condom,” he whispers, but I wrap my legs around him, keeping him from pulling away.

  “I’m on birth control and it’s been a long time for me. I’m clean.” I bury my face in his neck, embarrassed to see his response. I hope he doesn’t think I’m pathetic.

  “Look at me, Queenie.” I do, but my entire body flushes with embarrassment.

  “Are you sure?” he asks before running a finger down the side of my cheek. It’s what he says next that soothes the flush and turns my insides hot again. “Fuck, I want to be bare with you. I haven’t been with anyone in a while, either, and I’ve been checked.”

  I respond with a nod, my tongue too numb to form words. He leans down, planting a slow, burning kiss on my lips.

  He shifts a little, hovering just over me as he positions himself at my entrance. Our eyes meet as he pulls his lips away and looks down at me. There isn’t anything that could ruin this moment. Everything happening feels right. It feels perfect.

  He pushes forward slowly, and I gasp feeling him stretch my unused muscles. I’m no virgin, but the sheer size of him makes me feel like I am all over again. Adjusting myself under him, I reach for his ass, cupping it with both my hands, ready to urge him forward.

  “More,” I tell him, pushing my hips up, taking more of him. “Don’t stop.”

  “You’re so tight, Queenie. So perfect,” he groans.

  “More...”

  He surges forward, burying himself to the root. I close my eyes, trying to ingrain the feeling of him inside me into my brain. I’m not sure what the morning will bring, but I want this moment to last for as long as it can. We move together, our bodies in sync with one another, like it was always meant to be this way.

  “Fucking perfect...”

  “Faster,” I beg, pushing and pulling at his ass, needing the friction as my orgasm builds. My body feels like it’s on fire. He grunts, heeding my request, pushing his hip into me faster and harder. I feel a surge of wetness as the pleasure hits me and sends me reeling.

  “That’s it, milk my cock with your sweet pussy,” he responds, moving even faster now. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. All I can do is feel. Feel the waves as they crash harder and harder around me. Feel his cock push into me over and over, leaving me desperate for more.

  I clamp down on him, and his body tenses, his release eminent now.

  “Come for me, Kingston,” I whisper hoarsely, my fingernails raking up the length of his back. “Claim me. Make me yours.”

  He shouts as the words send him over the edge. His body jerks against me as he empties himself into me. We ride the last of our pleasure together, slow and steady, touching and kissing one another. I don’t want it to stop, but my body is too exhausted as everything finally catches up to me.

  I feel him slide out of me and out of bed. He moves about the room before tucking a blanket around my shoulders, but I pay no mind to it. As I snuggle onto my side and into the pillow under my head, sleep claims me.

  Chapter Eleven

  The Afterglow

  Kingston

  Missy fell asleep hours ago, but I lie in bed with her body wrapped around me, staring up at the ceiling. My mind wanders to the gorgeous creature next to me and everything we’ve been through since the first moment we met.

  Never has a woman had the effect she has on me, and to be here with her like this, I never thought it was possible. I don’t want to sleep because I don’t want to chance this moment being a dream. I know she was in shock when she propositioned me, but I’m just a man, and when it comes to her, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to make her happy. If I’m honest, I wanted her just as much.

  I glance over at the clock on my nightstand, not that the time matters. The sun has long risen, and as much as I fight it, I know sleep will soon consume me. Even with the thoughts bouncing around in my head, exhaustion is determined to claim my mind.

  The truth is, I’ve wanted Missy for longer than I’m willing to admit. But I never thought it would happen, especially given our past. I believed the one chance at happiness I was given with her had been destroyed by my own pride and stupidity.

  Yet, here we are.

  I told her I couldn’t give her what she needed, but that isn’t true. I can give her all of it, and at this point in my life, I’m more than capable of doing it. But it’s fear that holds me back. It’s fear of what she might say or think if I tell her the truth. What if she doesn’t feel the same?

  I can’t lose her. I need her in my life, and I’m willing to sacrifice my heart if it means I get to keep her in it. No matter the capacity in which I have her. I’ve tried surviving without her once, but I failed miserably at it. So, I lied to her and I lied to myself.

  Missy is a strong and proud woman. I’m not the type of man to lose control, but this woman brings me to my knees with a single flick of her tongue across her bottom lip. And tonight, she’s given me a glimpse of what life with her would be like, and I want more.

  God, how I want more, is my last thought as the sleep I’ve been fighting finally claims me.

  *****

  The sound of a door slamming pulls me from slumber, and I reach across the bed, seeking the warmth of the woman next to me, but my hand only finds cold, empty sheets.

  Shit, shit, shit.

  Lifting my head, I glance around the darkened room, already aware of the fact she’s fled from my bed.

  Fuck, what time is it? I swallow hard, realizing the sound that woke me was eerily familiar, like the sound of the door slamming between us three years ago. The same door she opened last night.

  My feet hit the cold wooden floor before I realize it, and I bound out of my room toward the room she was supposed to sleep in last night. The door to her room is open, but the room is shadowed and dark. My heart sinks into my stomach as a feeling of dread seeps into my veins.

  I don’t need to turn on the lights to know the bed is made and the room is empty of her things. I don’t need to turn on the light to know she’s erased every trace of her from my house, to know she’s fled filled with regret over what happened between us. I don’t need to turn on the light to know I’ve lost the only woman I’ve ever loved. Again.

  My back hits the wall, and it takes everything in me to hold back and let her go. Again.

  Chapter Twelve

  Scared Reactions

  Missy

  I had sex with Kingston, and afterwards I ran.

  That’s the only way to describe what happened, because that’s what I did.

  I had sex with Kingston.

  And I ran because I wanted to do it again.

  I groan as I pull into the employee parking lot, switching off the engine to my car in a huff. What was I thinking? How could I let something like this happen? The real rotten thing about the whole situation is that I can’t blame shock because I was fully aware of what I was doing. I wanted it to happen.

  Shoving away the thoughts, I grab my bag and push open my car door and make my way to the nurse’s lounge.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Cara exclaims as I push open the heavy door. I’ve known Cara since I started working the ER. We’re often on shift together and over the years have become friends. A few times a month, I offer to help with her six-year-old son, saving her a buck or two in sitter fees.

  “Why wouldn’t I be here?” I frown, crossing the room to my assigned locker. I place my bag inside and head straight for the coffeemaker.

  “Because of what happened last night. Why didn’t you call me?”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t think it about it.” I fill my coffee cup to the brim and bring the much-needed drink to my lips.

  “Are you going to give me the details or leave me hanging?” she asks, and instantly m
y mind conjures the details of my night with Kingston. I know those aren’t the details she’s referring to. There’s no way she knows about what happened between Kingston and me.

  “Earth to Missy, come in, Missy.”

  “What?” I look up at her, confused. I was too wrapped up in my thoughts to realize she was talking to me.

  “I can’t believe someone actually broke into your house. Are you okay? Nick said you refused to come into the ER for further examination.”

  “Whoever it was thankfully just knocked me on my ass. Besides a large bruise and struggling to sit comfortably for the next few days, I’m fine,” I assure her, shifting as the muscles in other parts of my body, parts not connected to me falling, twinge with discomfort.

  “How bad was it? Did they take anything?”

  “No, surprisingly, they didn’t. I think I scared them off before they could do anything. They busted my kitchen door pretty badly, but there was no sign of entry. Kingston thinks I left my door unlocked again.”

  “Kingston?”

  “Yeah, he was first on scene, besides the cops.”

  “Damn, girl, talk about a knight in shining armor.”

  “It’s not like that with us,” I defend, trying desperately to believe the words myself. After last night, though, and our complicated history, it is getting harder to place him strictly in the friend zone.

  “You keep telling yourself that.” She smirks and picks up her stethoscope, placing it around her neck and standing from her spot at the table. She studies the lockers for a moment before coming back to me. “You know, you do have the tendency to forget to lock things up.”

  I look back at my locker and shrug. “If someone wants something badly enough, a lock isn’t going to stop them. Besides, if I can’t trust the people I work with, then the world has really gone to shit.”

  *****

  “Nurse,” the new doctor calls from down the way. I stifle a groan and roll my eyes. Is this guy for real calling me nurse? I ignore him and keep working. If the man can’t bother learning our names, then I won’t bother with him.