by Martha Carr
"Works for me," he chirped. He hopped up on their couch and clapped his hands together. "Tell my future."
"Dim if you don't get out of here. I have things to do."
Yumfuck smiled showing his tiny razor-sharp teeth and gave the once over to Mara's clothes. He arched an eyebrow and crossed his little arms over his chest. "Take me with you."
"Take you where?”
"Don't kid a kidder. Take me with you to Oriceran or I start singing. Loud." He opened his mouth wide and took in a deep breath.
"Done!" Mara hissed, holding up her hands and looking up the stairs. Eireka would have too many questions that Mara couldn't answer yet. She had caused enough trouble lately. Better to gather some information first and then spill the beans. "If you're coming, come on."
The troll scrambled down the side of the couch and ran into the narrow kitchen."
"Wrong direction. Oh, I see. Road trip snacks, of course. Leira won't drive outside the city limits without them."
The troll came back with a plastic grocery bag and a large bag of Cheetos, a sleeve of peanut butter Do-Si-Dos and a few Twinkies inside.
"Okay, ready." He ran over to Mara and she scooped him up and put him on her shoulder as she formed a sparkling ball of light between her hands. The portal opened in their small living room shining the morning light as small yellow birds with black stripes down their backs sang on a nearby branch. "Here we go!"
The troll hung on to Mara's clothing as she stepped through the portal and onto the soft, damp moss of the Dark Forest. A large animal trumpeted somewhere deep in the forest and a monkey swung overhead, quickly passing out of sight. "I miss being in the middle of this forest all the time."
"Me too." The troll stood up on her shoulder and looked around, breathing in the deep air, his hands on his chest.
"Leira know you went out?"
"In a manner of speaking..."
"So she knew when she saw you weren't in your nest or on the couch or buried in the pantry in the kitchen." Mara let out a short sigh. "At this point, I suppose that's okay."
"She went out of town on assignment. We're good!" He held up his tiny paw for a high-five. "Down low! Too slow..." He let out a cackle and settled down on her shoulder, hanging on as Mara walked through the woods.
"Didn't know the leash on a bond was this long." Mara made her way through the forest following a familiar path. The floating Light Elves castle hung in the distance, a deep blue sky overhead. Spring had arrived on Oriceran and the wildflowers were in full bloom across patches of the forest where the sun broke through the green canopy. Red poppies sprung between large tree roots and small daffodils lined the path. A young rabbit hopped across the path and disappeared into the thick underbrush as a larger doe jumped, easily crossing over behind them.
"It's an inside thing." He beat a little paw on his chest. "Leira is a Jasper Elf. Her magic can travel across the veil. I can travel here without straining the bond."
Mara lifted the troll off her shoulder and held him in her palm where she could see his face. "You've been missing home."
The troll gave a shrug. "It happens."
She put him back on her shoulder and kept walking, anxious to get to her destination. "I'll drop you at the edge of the forest near the old oak trees. Thousands of your cousins are going to be thrilled to see you."
It felt good to hike through the forest and listen to the tall pines creak in the gentle wind. Feels good to be doing something... at last! She got to the edge of the forest and looked up at the castle, the tall spires partially hidden by clouds. "The parties I've been to in that castle, Yumfuck! The dancing went on all night..."
The troll let out a soft trill. "I'm not the only one who needed to come home for a hot minute."
A bronze staircase popped out of the side of the castle and grew, spiraling toward the ground as a young Elven woman with long silver hair came out of one of the lower floors to the ground and headed for the royal gardens, passing right by Mara and the troll.
"Ossonia, it is you."
Ossonia stopped in her tracks and turned, surprised to see Mara. A look of pain and disappointment flittered across her face. A reminder of Correk's absence. "Mara, you're here." She opened her arms to greet her old friend, despite the longing, and smiled, wrapping her in a warm hug. She shut her eyes and held tight for a moment. Be grateful for the visit. Stay present. Ossonia stood back, her hands still on Mara's arms. "You look well."
"Getting out of the world in between has done wonders for me." They both laughed easily. "That gelatin I waded through for four years was great for my complexion."
"I'm going to have to take a pass on that one. I'll just stick with magic elixirs from the local Gnome apothecary." Ossonia smiled more easily, the heavy feeling easing from her chest but not before Mara noticed. "It is good to see you, Mara. What brings you to Oriceran?"
"I'm in search of a purpose. I know... kind of a big topic." She shook her head as the troll sat down and let out a sigh, resting his chin on his paw.
"Don't mind me. Just settling in here."
Mara arched an eyebrow. "Hang on, Ossonia. This is somebody's bus stop." She gently lifted the troll off her shoulder and held him in front of her face. "Can you make it from here?"
"No problem!"
"Meet me back here by the time the sun is straight overhead. That give you enough time to say hello to everyone?"
The troll considered it, waggling his paw. "Just about..."
"If I have to go back without you and Leira comes looking for you..."
The troll made a small 'o' with his mouth and let out a cackle. "I'll be standing where I belong. Between you and the people of Gotham."
"Where's Gotham?" asked Ossonia.
"In his fevered little head. Last week he was into reality shows. I'm guessing this week is super heroes and Batman's on deck. It's an Earth thing. They like to make up stories about human beings who have special powers and run around saving people. It's like some part of them remembers there was magic on their world at some point but they can't quite put their finger on it... yet."
Mara set the troll on the ground and watched him scurry away, into the large ferns. The occasional leaves rustled and a crow took to the air, letting out a loud caw, as Yumfuck made progress on his hike to his village. Mara smiled and looked back at Ossonia who was looking down the path toward the post office.
"I don't want to keep you. I have places to be as well and not a lot of time." On an impulse, Mara grabbed Ossonia's hand and grasped it between her own. "Can I tell you what I'm doing? I'm in search of a new story for myself. I need something to do that gets me excited in the morning and wears me out by bedtime. Frankly, I wouldn't mind if I stumbled over a hunky Elf on the way."
Ossonia looked confused and glanced down the path again.
Mara let out a deep breath she didn't realize she was holding. "I do a lot better at these things when I don't try to be subtle. It's not my strong suit. You're a little younger than I am but not by much. Time to move on with things. Correk may come back, he may not."
Ossonia tried to pull her hand away but Mara held on tight. "I wish someone had said something like this to me when I was younger. Hell, I'm a lot more stubborn than you, though. Probably wouldn't have listened, and for all I know someone did..."
"May have even been me," Ossonia said softly.
Mara let out a loud laugh. "Well, there you go. I'll share this gift with you. We need to create something new for ourselves and stop standing on one foot, waiting around. I need more good ideas in my life before I start looking around at what others are up to."
"You mean, like now?" Ossonia smiled.
Mara tilted her head to one side, sizing up Ossonia. "You're on the way to the post office, aren't you? At the beck and call of the prophets. Is that really what you want? I seem to remember a slightly wilder version of you, and that Elf had big plans for herself. Weren't you a painter? The animals leaped off your paintings... literally."
; "That was a good hundred years ago. I'm not sure..."
"Like riding a bike. Never mind. Like floating just above the ground." Mara let the magic on Oriceran lift her off the ground. "If you let it flow through you and don't think too hard, a lot of good things happen." Mara let go of Ossonia's hand. "We're Elven women. We are strong, creative, magical beings." She leaned in closer. "Time to get on with things. I'm off to see the Gnomes about an idea." Mara hugged Ossonia again. "Not really sure where it's going to lead but it's a start to somewhere."
Mara wrapped her cloak around her shoulders tighter and waved goodbye, headed for the castle and the library. "If I can survive the world in between, I can talk some Gnomes into a little help."
Ossonia watched her march determined up the path. A silvery blue butterfly landed on her hand, gently batting its wings. "She's right, you know. I've been telling myself to wait just a little longer for some kind of sign. Didn't think my sign would be Mara Berens." She lifted her hand as the butterfly flew off, letting the wind carry it along. "I can let go and start something new."
CHAPTER EIGHT
Yumfuck Tiberius Troll ran as fast as he could, tumbling over tree roots and pulling at flower petals, breathing in their perfume, happy to be back on Oriceran. He got to the edge of his village and stopped, taking it all in. There were the houses carved out of the sturdiest tall mushrooms, lined in row upon row for as far as he could see. Old stumps had windows carved into them and front doors and were packed with trolls living inside of them, all nestled together.
A nearby troll was busy shaking out a yellow piece of a forgotten Elven dish cloth and another was sitting at a table outside of his home, smoking on a long pipe made from a hollow reed. Two trolls were bartering with each other, happily trading pea pods for corn kernels, helping each other load up their tiny wagons. Most of the trolls were rolling over each other, playing in the tall grass, cackling and trilling under the warm sun.
"Aloha motherfuckers!" Yumfuck waved his arms over his head. "ET came home!"
Every tiny, head topped with colorful green or pink or yellow fur turned at the sound of his voice, looking in his direction. For a moment, the air hung still and the only sound was a catbird, meowing in the trees in the distance. At last, a gasp rolled through the village as everyone recognized Yumfuck and a loud chorus of "Aloha motherfuckers!" rose from the village loud enough to carry to the nearby path.
An Elf on his way to the post office looked over the field but saw nothing. "Wonder what that was about..." He shook his head and kept going, anxious to pick up a package from the gargoyles.
Yumfuck was quickly surrounded by trolls, all talking at once, taking turns hugging him and squeezing his arms, kissing his head. Yumfuck smiled till his face hurt. "Joy, joy, joy, joy," was all he could get out.
"Is it you?"
Yumfuck stood on his tiptoes to see above the trolls in front of him. "Who said that?" His heart was beating faster as everyone parted, making an opening in front of him. "Mama! I'm home!" The small, round troll with yellow fur standing straight up on the top of her head, clutched her paws to her chest. She sung out a lilting trill. Yumfuck took a slow cautious step toward her till he was standing right in front of her.
The troll took her paws and put them on either side of Yumfuck's face, squeezing his cheeks. "You've come back for a visit! Your siblings will be so happy to see you!"
She curled her tongue, sending out a series of different trills and more trolls appeared, filling the little lane. "Look who came back to see us!"
"What's it like on the other world?”
"Is that Elf as much fun as she looked?"
"Do you go on any adventures?"
"Has anyone figured out how much you know about plants, yet?"
"Have you seen any other trolls on Earth?"
"What's the food like there?"
"What's a motherfucker?"
"What's in the bag?"
"I brought presents!" He chirped excitedly.
Yumfuck opened the bag and let everyone take a peek inside. "Earth magic. Behold." He started with the bag of Cheetos, opening the bag with a round pop, pausing for dramatic effect as he slowly pulled out a large, flaky orange noodle as his hundred brothers and sisters and all the villagers behind them gasped and ooohed and aaaahed. "It's called a Cheetos and humans on Earth eat it like food."
He held it out gingerly to his mother. "You get the first nibble." Mother troll ducked her chin and smiled, reaching out with both hands to get a good grip on the Cheetos. Orange dust shook off it, floating to the ground. She stuck out her small, pink tongue, giving it a lick. "Yummmm...."
"That's what I said!" He reached into the bag and hauled out a Twinkie still wrapped in clear cellophane. He lifted it over his head triumphantly as everyone cheered, lowering it down to the ground. It was almost the same size as a troll.
Yumfuck pointed a claw and ripped open the cellophane as the smell of sticky, yellow cake wafted through the air. A chorus of "Yummmmmm....," echoed across the crowd.
"This is called a Twinkie! More Earth style magical food and this one will even last forever! Never goes bad!"
"That is magic," someone gasped.
He broke off a small piece and gave it to his mother. She popped it into her mouth, rolling it around on her tongue, savoring the sweetness before she swallowed it whole.
The other trolls all leaned in toward the Twinkie and the Cheetos, drooling and licking their lips. Yumfuck cackled as his mother said, "Thank you!"
"They have large castles filled with things like this where you can go and pick out what you want and take it home with you." The trolls gasped, some squeezed their eyes shut in delight while others clapped their hands on their furry faces. A few trolls climbed the stems of nearby flowers, sliding out onto the petals as they held on to the stamens so they could get a better look at the food.
At last, he pulled out the plastic sleeve of Do-Si-Dos, neatly ripping off the end and rolling out one of the cookies. "They send out their girl children to sell these things..." A hush went over the crowd. "Everywhere," he whispered, holding up a paw to the side of his mouth. The trolls gasped as one.
He rolled the cookie toward his mother. She was barely visible behind it. Yumfuck put out a paw, getting a swipe of the peanut butter filling and licking it off. His mother imitated what he did and her eyes grew wide with delight. "Best one yet!" She let out a soft trill ending in a squeal.
Yumfuck waved to two of his brothers. One was a large, muscular troll with bright red hair and the other was just as large with green hair like Yumfuck's. "Help me spread out all the treasures. Today we feast like the Kings and Queens, but better!"
The two large trolls made a circle with the Do-Si-Dos, pouring the Cheetos in a mound in the center. They built a small wall of two by two with the Twinkies and stood back, admiring their work.
"Mama, you give the call," said Yumfuck, letting out a cackle.
Mother Troll clapped her hands together, curling her tongue, smiling broadly as she hesitated, watching everyone holding themselves back. At last, she let out a loud, high-pitched trill and dropped her hands. The other trolls dove in, rolling all over each other, taking licks and swipes and small nibbles of everything. Everyone got to share in the feast.
Minutes later it was all gone and the trolls went off in search of a soft, warm place to sleep.
Yumfuck sat down on the stoop in front of his mother's mushroom cottage. She came and sat next to him, still licking the creamy filling from a Twinkie off her fur. "Saw you do a straight dive through the middle of one of those, Mama. Nice work. Couldn't have done it better myself." Yumfuck let out a cackle as his mother joined in, settling down next to her son.
"Your dad's taking the youngest thirty of your siblings out on a sleepover deeper in the Dark Forest or he'd be here too. I'll tell him you stopped by. He'll be happy to know you're doing so well." She patted Yumfuck on his knee. "Tell me about where you live. I want all the details to share with your father
."
"I live in a large building made of wood that has its own kitchen and endless supply of food. My nest is a cozy box with a silky, warm blanket and there's something they call T.V. that works like the Light Elves magic. It shows all kinds of adventures over and over again. It never ends," he squeaked, throwing up his arms in delight.
"You landed in paradise!" She squeezed her son around his neck. "You've made this family proud with your bond. Have you taught them anything about what you know? The hibiscus found on Oriceran or the sweet peapods that regenerate?"
"That hasn't come up yet." Yumfuck gave a shrug. "There's time. There's too much to do there. Botany can wait."
His mother tilted her head to the side. "You're letting them think you don't really understand them, aren't you?" Yumfuck gave another shrug and smiled.
His mother let out a loud laugh and fell over on her side. "You always were the prankster. That's a good one. A troll that can't understand. Wuueeee! Now I've heard everything!"
"Let me show you the dance I've learned. Sing something."
His mother trilled a song as Yumfuck turned around, shaking his small bottom, looking over his shoulder with a smile. He put his paws on his knees and shook some more as his mother laughed. "They call it twerking. It's big over there."
"Your father would be so proud! I'll remember to tell him everything." She rocked back, still laughing, clapping her paws. "When you go back to Earth, if you find yourself in Cincinnati, look up your cousin, Earle. He's bonded with a Wizard. Oooh, or if you go to a place called Charlottesville, Virginia I hear there's an entire village on Afton Mountain. You have a few hundred cousins there by now. Lily's there with her brood. Show them the Twinkies. They'll be amazed! Hey, your cousin, Balzac was almost eaten by a boar in the Dark Forest last month but he rolled up into a ball and plopped right into an old gopher hole. That was a close one! I tell you kids all the time to keep your ears and eyes open for boars and harpies. Flying skeletons!"
Yumfuck sat down next to his mother and squeezed her paw. "Love you, Mom."
"Love you, too. I hear that from you kids at least a couple hundred times a day. Never gets old, I tell you. A troll's life is the best thing to be. What a day!"