by Ward, H. M.
A moment later she goes limp and falls forward. Her hair cascades behind her, falling in slow motion. I hear nothing but Maggie’s nasal breaths, but her silent scream is ringing in my ears. A taller form—a man—steps into the spot where the woman once stood. His shoulders are rounded, like he’s not worried about a thing, as he shakes his head and surveys the floor like there’s something amusing.
My throat tightens as I watch in horror, frozen in place. At that moment, the man looks up and glances out the window. Our eyes lock and time stops as an unseen force steals my breath. The hairs on the back of my neck prickle as I stare, unable to look away.
Maggie told me to keep my eyes down and not say a damn thing to anyone, but I can’t, and even worse—I recognize him and his bright blonde hair. It’s the man who lives across the hall.
CHAPTER 6
I’m not sure if he realizes who he’s looking at, but I’m certain that he knows which apartment we’re in. Heart racing, I spin on my heel and stumble into Maggie’s bed. “Get up.” My voice is choked, and barely comes out. Frantically, I shake her awake. “We need to leave. Now.”
Maggie pushes up on her elbows. Make-up is smeared across the right side of her face. She looks like a weeping clown. “What?” She’s too groggy and we don’t have time for it.
“Move. Now.” I issue one word commands and toss a pair of jeans at her and start gathering anything important. I’m shaking so much that I drop the armload of items and my purse spills out on the floor. Maggie stops asking what’s wrong. She’s caught my mood and glances at the door like she already knows.
Suddenly, she’s awake and moving like she chugged a case of energy shots. “What’d you see? Fuck, Hallie! I told you not to look at anything.” I can’t believe she’s scolding me, but I’m not going to waste time arguing with her.
Kneeling, I pull all the clothing and purse contents into my arms. “Go, go, go!” I head to the door, leaving my evening gown behind. We race down the hall half-dressed and stampede down the stairs. I toss everything into the backseat of Maggie’s car and jump into the front. “Go!”
Maggie shoves the key in the ignition and the engine turns over. She grips the wheel firmly and pulls away. For a second, I think we made it, that we’ll escape unnoticed, but just as we reach the end of the block, I look back in the side view mirror. The man from across the hall is watching our taillights as we drive away.
CHAPTER 7
“What did you see?” Maggie yells again, as she looks back in the mirror. Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t blink. She glances at him as he sees us drive away. “Fuck, are you serious? That’s Victor! Why is he watching us? We don’t want him watching us! Hallie, what happened?” Maggie’s voice goes up an octave from the time she starts talking to the time she finishes.
“His name is Victor?”
“Yes! Victor Campone. He’s fucking crazy!” Maggie’s body is stiff and I can tell that it’s taking a lot of effort not to floor it and flee. She doesn’t want to draw attention to us, so she goes at a normal speed even though it feels like my heart is going to explode.
“He killed someone.” My voice is soft, barely audible. My stomach is twisting like I ate something rancid. Swallowing makes the queasy feeling worse, so I lean my head back and press my fingers to my face.
“No, no, no! Tell me you didn’t see anything!”
“I saw it. He was in the apartment across from us. I was looking out the window.”
“And he saw you?” I nod and rub the heel of my hand into my eyes. Maggie’s voice picks up a quiver that is so unlike her that it scares me. “He doesn’t know you saw a thing, right? I mean, it’s not like he was watching you while he did it. We didn’t see anything. We don’t know anything. Everything will be fine.” She starts rambling, more to herself than me.
“Who is he?”
“No one. He’s no one. You don’t know that name, you never saw his face.” Maggie’s knuckles have turned white from gripping the wheel so hard. “We didn’t pull out and fly down the street, so it looks like I was just taking you home.”
After a while we make it to my neighborhood. Maggie pulls up in front of Neil’s apartment and shuts off the car. “I’ll go back later and act like nothing happened. It’ll be fine.”
“The hell you will! You can’t live like that Maggie.” What has she gotten herself into? Sympathy crosses my face before I can hide it, which pisses her off.
“Don’t look at me like that. I can take care of myself.”
“No, not this time. This time you made a mistake. That guy is insane. How do you know he didn’t kill some lady like you? How do you know you won’t be next?” She doesn’t look at me, instead Maggie acts like she didn’t hear me at all. “Maggie how do you know!”
Turning, she snaps, “I don’t know, all right! No one knows when their time is up or how they’re going to die, and neither do I! Leave it alone, Hallie. You messed up enough things already. I can fix it.”
“No, you can’t! This isn’t stuff that can be fixed!” I’m yelling at her, and I can’t stop. My heart is racing so fast that it’s slamming into my ribs and my hands are shaking. “Your death waits in that building! Every time you walk in there, your life expectancy drops. You can’t seriously think that it has no ramifications. He killed someone! The couple above you beat the crap out of each other until one of them fell on the floor. Do you need to wait until you’re the one who is dead on the floor to see that you’re not safe?”
“I have no choice!” She’s breathing hard and fast like me. I want to cry and save her from all of this, but I can’t. A moment passes where neither of us speaks.
I tip my head back against the seat and glance over at her. “What do you do for him?”
“I can’t tell you.” Maggie doesn’t look at me. Instead, she stares blankly ahead.
“Who is he?”
“You don’t want to know.” I open my mouth to press her, but she holds up a single finger and gives me a stern look. “Don’t. Knowing will only bring you more trouble.”
I don’t like it, but I stop asking. I wish so much that things weren’t like this. I have to get the money from the book deal. I need it, for her. She’s in over her head, and the horrible part is, so am I.
CHAPTER 8
Maggie follows me into the house after grabbing all of our stuff from her car. After I’ve showered, I head to the kitchen and find Neil waiting at the table. He’s reading the paper like he’s not upset in the slightest. He folds it and places it on the table before looking up at me. “So, how’d it go?”
“Fine.” My jaw is tight. I can barely spit out the words. I want to bite his head off, but if I do that I’ll be homeless. When did I turn into such a spineless wimp? Whore, Hallie. The word you’re looking for is whore. I don’t want to think about it, so I grab a coffee cup from the cabinet and take my time pouring the hot liquid, so I don’t have to look at him.
Before I know what’s happening, Neil is walking toward me. I think he’s going to fight, but his voice is timid. “I shouldn’t have made you do it. I’m sorry, Hallie.” I can feel his eyes on my back and the pleading tone in his voice makes my heart break.
“No, you shouldn’t have,” is all I can manage. I keep my eyes focused on the black liquid in my cup, watching the steam rise from the surface.
“Listen, I thought—from the way you two were acting on stage—I thought you still liked him.”
His confession catches me off guard. I turn slowly and look over my shoulder at him. Is he serious? For some reason it feels like I’m being played, but I dismiss it. How jaded am I? The guy’s trying to apologize and I want something safe right now. Neil is the epitome of safe.
For a moment, I can’t speak. Then I manage a, “I don’t.” My words are noncommittal. I was going to say I don’t have feelings for him, but I do. I feel something for Bryan, but I don’t know what it is. Fear? Lust? Attraction doesn’t mean anything anyway, does it?
Neil nods once and wat
ches his feet. His sandy hair obscures his eyes. “So, you forgive me?”
“If you can forgive me?” Where’d that come from? The words shock me, but that doesn’t stop them from coming from my mouth. I shouldn’t have to ask him to pardon me for past lovers, for things that happened before I knew him, but I just did.
His lips pull into a soft smile. “I already have. I understand why you didn’t say anything about him. I mean, it’s embarrassing, right? You didn’t want to make things weird between us by mentioning that. People have dark spots in their pasts, and he’s yours. I got it. I’m sorry I pushed you back there, and I’m so glad you came home again. I thought I might have lost you.” Neil holds up his arms, like he wants a hug.
I put down my mug and fall into his arms. Neil holds me like I’m fragile, and gently kisses my cheek. We stay like that for a moment, until a voice breaks us apart.
“I should have clarified the terms of my silence.” Bryan is standing in front of us in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen. “There’s to be no intimacy of any kind between you two, while Hallie is with me and I’m not done with her yet.”
CHAPTER 9
Neil releases me and steps away. His jaw drops half way open and he does a double take, like he can’t believe Bryan had the audacity to walk into his home. “You have no right to be here.”
Bryan grins and slips his hands into his pockets. He’s wearing dark jeans and a fitted T-shirt that reveals his delicious body. A worn leather jacket hangs from his shoulders and his hair is still damp, like he just rolled out of bed.
“Do I smell coffee?” Bryan ignores Neil, shoves past us, and grabs my cup off the counter. “Still drinking it black, huh, Hallie?” He winks at me, before gulping down my drink.
“Holy shit.” Maggie appears with dripping wet hair and her jaw dragging on the floor. Her eyes dart between Neil and Bryan like she’s anticipating an explosion.
Bryan leans back on the counter, which makes his jacket open, revealing more of his toned chest and that clingy shirt. When he grins, he seems like the old Bryan, complete with a lickable dimple. “Hey Red,” he nods toward Maggie with his magical smile.
“Hey yourself.” Maggie laughs, and looks over at me and then Neil.
Neil looks appalled and remains frozen for a few seconds before he puffs up, angry. “Get out or I’ll call the police.”
Bryan shrugs like he doesn’t care and doesn’t move. “Go ahead. You call them and I’ll call my friends, and get things rolling.” He pulls his cell phone from his pocket and holds it up. “Well, go on.”
Neil glances at me and then Bryan. “You said one night.”
“Yeah, I changed my mind. Last night didn’t go as planned, and I figured why not ask for more? If you say no, you lose everything. It’s kind of a no-brainer, so I went for it.” Bryan speaks to Neil, but he’s watching Maggie when he talks.
After resting my empty mug on the counter, Bryan walks over to me. “Ready?”
“You said you’d call.” My hands are balled at my sides and I wish I was taller so I could yell at Bryan eye to eye.
He offers a typical Bryan Ferro grin and shrugs. “Yeah, I’m whimsical like that. I thought I’d drop by and pick you up. Besides, I needed to make sure that your douche boyfriend doesn’t touch you.”
“These weren’t the terms. You cannot change your demands like this.” Neil is agitated, but Maggie leans against the doorjamb with an amused look on her face. Neil inhales slowly, trying to keep his temper under wraps, but it’s there, brewing, and Bryan is stoking the fire.
“Actually, I can. It goes with the whole agreement we made last night, right Hallie?” Bryan watches me for a second and then adds, with false sincerity, “Oh, I’m sorry, you didn’t get a chance to tell him yet?”
“Bryan.” I warn, but he doesn’t stop.
He walks over next to me and drapes his arm over my shoulders. “Last night I told her that one night wasn’t enough. Sorry, I thought you already knew, and it’s not like it’d matter to you anyway because it’s all the same. I slept with her before, so what’s one more night, right?” Bryan’s voice turns razor sharp as he says the last few words. He releases me and steps toward Neil, so they’re close enough to punch each other. “You did say something to that effect, didn’t you?”
Neil squares his shoulders. He won’t be told off by a Ferro. He thinks Bryan’s a spoiled brat and gives him the most condescending look I’ve ever seen. “It’s not like you to want a woman more than once. Doesn’t that go against the Ferro code of honor-less actions? I’ve heard your sister—”
Before Neil can finish the sentence, Bryan’s arm darts out. He grabs Neil by the throat and hisses, “If you value your life, you won’t finish that sentence.” Bryan’s twin sister seems to catch bad press way too often, which is horrible because she’s really sweet. They never run that kind of story though, it’s always stuff about the Ferro heiress and her brainless, chasteless actions.
Bryan tightens his grip and then releases. Neil sucks in air and rubs his throat, but doesn’t look away. I want to scream at Bryan, but I don’t. Instead, I ask, “What do you want, Bryan?”
His green eyes drift back my way and his gaze softens. “You.”
He says it like I’m all he wants in the world, but I know that’s not true. I’m what he wants right now, for punishment or pleasure, I’m still not sure. Bryan holds out his hand. “Come on, I have our day planned.”
I glance at Neil, but he won’t look at me. For a second, I think about saying no, but Maggie is standing there smiling. I want to keep that happy expression on her face and to do that I need money. Taking Bryan’s hand, I slip my fingers into his warm grip.
CHAPTER 10
I’m sitting across from Bryan in a little booth at a Friendly’s restaurant, out of all places. The irony doesn’t escape me. This is where happy people come to have food and ice cream, not deranged Ferro men and their blackmailed friends, or whatever I am.
Poking at a fry, I finally ask, “What are we doing here?”
Bryan hasn’t made any mention of sex since we left Neil’s this morning. Before we’d gone, I told Maggie to stay put, but she won’t. I know her. She’ll go back home after work and act like nothing happened and it’s going to get her killed. I’d been hoping Bryan would do what he wanted and toss me out again so I could stop her. I poke at the ketchup, before dropping the fry.
Bryan doesn’t answer right away. He has that casual smile he wears on his face like life is so fun and he can’t get enough. Sometimes I want to slap it away. How can he act like nothing matters? He’s not the man I remember.
He flashes his green gaze at me before grinning that beautiful smile that makes a small dimple appear on his cheek. I remember tracing the lines of his face with my tongue years ago, and paying extra attention to that little spot. It’s like he knows, because the slant of his mouth changes as if he’s thinking dirty thoughts. “We’re having lunch.”
“I know that, but is this seriously why you picked me up this morning? Because you didn’t want to eat alone?”
He pops a fry into his mouth and nods. The movement makes his dark hair fall over his brow. He sweeps it back with his hand and tips his head to the side while pointing a new fry at me. “You hate eating alone.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Then, what is the point?”
“This wasn’t supposed to be a date! Sex, Bryan, you said you wanted sex and that’s it.” I whisper-yell at him, leaning across the table, but it doesn’t stop the waitress from choosing that moment to reappear.
Her eyes go wide as the grumpy expression on her face vanishes and is replaced by an amused and somewhat interested look. “Need anything else, hun? Well, anything that I can get you?” Bryan nearly spews his milkshake as my face turns cherry red. The waitress looks me over and then winks at me before she walks away.
Bryan is practically choking, but finally manages to speak. “Can we add her to the agreement
? I think she’s into you.” His body shakes as he tries to repress his laughter and fails.
I’ve slumped forward to hide my face at the same time I’ve slid down in the booth. Someone, shoot me. I kick Bryan under the table. “I want to leave.”
“Yes, you said that already. All good things come in time.” My lips are drawn together, trying not to say the line running through my head. Bryan and I used to banter so well, but I don’t want this. It’s not real. He’s extorting me. I wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t. “Oh, come on, Hallie. I know you want to say it. Just say it. Be you and stop acting like the repressed version of yourself that your boyfriend turned you into.”
“I’m not discussing Neil with you.”
“Yeah, because there’s nothing to discuss.”
“I hate you.”
“Yeah, you said that already.”
The waitress walks past and drops a check on the table. Bryan picks it up and chuckles. “Want her number?” He holds up the tab and shows me her handwritten message on the top: Call me XOXO followed by her number.
I make an aggravated sound and shove out of the booth. We have to get on with things so I can stop Maggie. I can’t be in two places at once. I wish Bryan would just get on with things, but he doesn’t. I try to walk out of the restaurant without him, but he grabs a belt loop on my jeans and tugs me back to him as we walk outside into the crisp air.
Then his arm is around my waist. He’s walking next to me and whispering in my ear, “Got some place to be?”
“No, you’re the only person who I’m whoring myself out to today.” He flinches and his hand slips from my side. I continue to walk, not noticing that he’s stopped. When I turn back, Bryan is watching me and I can tell that there’s a war waging within him. He knows damn well what he’s done to me, but he did it anyway.