“How did Mr. Hoffman find you?” she asked.
“I learned how to take care of myself, but I messed with the wrong group and got in a fight. A bad one. One of the kids had a knife and he ripped me apart. My friends didn’t know what to do to help me. If we went to a hospital, they’d throw us back in foster care. Mr. Hoffman appeared like some stern schoolmaster. My friends disappeared and he took care of me. He always told me the Spirit directed him to me. He was a pretty spiritual guy.” He fiddled with some dials.
“How old were you then?”
“Ten.”
Two years on the streets. How did that affect someone? Mother deserted him. The only female figures in his childhood were his business partner and his cook. No wonder he’d flitted from woman to woman. She didn’t want to think selfishly right now, but would he ever really settle down? If he hadn’t dealt with all of this emotionally, he probably needed therapy above her pay grade.
He stared out at the endless ocean. “Mr. Hoffman took me to a hospital, and when they released me, he took me home with him. Not sure how he got around the foster care, but money does open doors.”
“Was he wealthy?”
Brooks chuckled and said, “You could say that. Generations of family money as well as being one of the pioneers of hard money loans and private mortgage brokering. He took me to his mansion, and his assistant, Evelyn, and his housekeeper, Lou-Lou, spoiled and loved me. Mr. Hoffman did neither. He gave me his name, his fortune, a formal education, and all of his knowledge of weapons and fighting, but he didn’t tell me he loved me until the day before he died.”
That was heartbreaking, and she had no clue how to respond.
Brooks cleared his throat and continued. “He loved to fight, but he was very calculated and formal about it. One of his ancestors was a duke in England, but Mr. Hoffman’s line came from a second son. Without the title, that ancestor went into battle; then all the men after that became warriors. It was a matter of family pride that was passed through generations. I think Mr. Hoffman was high up in the army in England when he was younger.”
She liked that he seemed to feel that familial pride. Something to be a part of, even if it wasn’t his blood relations. “What brought him to America?”
“His first wife was American, and she wanted to raise their son in America.”
“He had a son?”
“Yeah. Died in Afghanistan. Special forces.”
“How sad.”
Brooks met her gaze. “So I was the replacement.”
“Oh, Brooks, don’t.”
He shook his head. “It’s okay. I’m grateful. He pulled me from poverty and a future life of crime, prison, or being stabbed to death.”
She mulled that over for a few minutes. He did seem grateful, but everyone needed love, maybe even more than stability. She didn’t know if she should say it, but she wanted to learn everything about this man. “So he made you his heir, but he never treated you like a son?”
“He did.” Brooks gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles whitened. “He taught me everything he knew and loved me in his own way. I was just one of those needy kids who wanted more affection.” He stared out at the expanse of water and muttered, “Pathetic, I know.”
“Not pathetic at all.” Heartbreaking was what it was. She was no therapist, but she thought he needed to get this out, and her dual degrees in child development and social work had taught her a few things. His love languages were obviously physical touch and words of affirmation, and it sounded like Mr. Hoffman had done neither. “Brooks? Do you think that’s why you have gone through so many women? Looking for that love?”
Brooks turned to her, his eyes wide. “If I was looking for love, I’d go past the first date.”
“You’ve dated so many.” In her mind he was screaming for love and attention and obviously he got both from women, but he never let it go deep enough to form an attachment. Why her? Why now? “Maybe you weren’t finding the right kind of relationship that could break through your barriers.”
He smirked at her. “Is that social work lingo?”
“No,” she tossed back. “It’s caring about my man lingo.”
“Oh?” His eyes swept over her, and he reached over and squeezed her hand. “Maybe I was just looking for the right woman who doesn’t respect anyone’s barriers.”
She rolled her eyes.
“Hey, it’s a theory worth exploring.”
“What theory?”
“Me being your man theory.”
“How are we going to explore it?” He just couldn’t stay serious for very long, but she wanted him to be her man. Oh, how she wanted him.
“I guess we’ll have to spend a lot more time together.”
She bit at her lip. He was dodging the deeper relationship concerns, but giving it more time was probably the best route to take anyway, and more time with Brooks wasn’t something she would complain about. “Sounds good to me.”
18
The next three and a half weeks fell into a familiar pattern that never lost the excitement. Every evening, after the children were settled, Brooks would come pick her up and they’d go get dinner, take a ride on his Harley, walk on the beach, or even just snuggle and watch a movie. Sydnee loved being with him, but each time she asked him to come earlier and spend time with the children, he had some excuse. It was confusing to her. How could he so obviously love Chalise, Izzy, and Alex, yet he wouldn’t give her children a chance?
A few days before Christmas, Rosmerta came dancing into her room. “Mr. Hoffman brought his crew over. We all have the day off, and they’re going to throw a fun party for the children all day. You should see the backyard. They’re bringing in huge blow-up slides and everything.”
Sydnee leapt off her bed. Brooks was going to be with the children? It was a Christmas miracle for her. She could already imagine the joy in Daniel and Alejandro’s eyes as Brooks teased and wrestled with them. “Where is he?”
Rosmerta smirked. “Out front, begging me to go get you, please, please, please.” She placed a hand over her heart. “How do you ever resist that man?”
“I don’t.”
Rosmerta giggled.
Sydnee quickly touched up her makeup and threw some jewelry on. Rosmerta and Camila could have the day off. She wanted to see Brooks interacting with her children.
“Have a fun day,” Rosmerta called.
“You too.” Sydnee practically skipped down the hallway and out the front door.
Brooks stood next to his Hummer in an untucked button-down shirt and jeans that clung to his muscular legs. “Wow,” he said when he saw her. “I think this big guy needs some attention from the beautiful woman.”
Sydnee laughed and hurried down the stairs and into his open arms, inhaling his spicy scent. “You’re going to spend the day here?”
His brow furrowed. He kissed her quickly. “No. My friends are going to spoil your children all day. I think you need some quality Brooks time.”
Her heart sank as the picture of him entertaining her boys popped. “But Brooks.”
He shook his head. “Please, love. Just you and me. Please.” His eyes were earnest and filled with that smolder that always lined her stomach with butterflies.
She wanted to make her arguments, but it wasn’t the right time, and how could she possibly resist when he said please like that? She finally nodded. He grinned and pulled her in for a kiss. “You won’t regret it.”
“I know.” Someday she’d have to find a way to help him past his issues and see if he could give these children a chance. He’d been so cute with Zack and Maddie’s children, so she knew he had that characteristic of loving children in him. Brooks had her heart, but so did Daniel, Alejandro, Tomás, and all her kiddos. Could her two worlds intersect?
They spent the day just being together—scuba diving a drift dive along Palancar Reef. She’d never had a chance to do that particular dive before and loved all the tropical fish and turtles she saw. They even saw a
small shark, which both terrified and thrilled her.
After diving, they went to lunch at the Lobster Shack. Brooks ordered the double lobster. Sydnee had no clue how he finished it, but it was fun watching him savor each bite. All those muscles must kick his metabolism into overdrive, because he could definitely eat.
They finished their lobster, paid the bill, and drove to a beach club. Brooks directed her inside with his usual confidence, his warm palm on her lower back. The greeter exuded happiness when she saw them: “Mr. Hoffman, Mr. Hoffman. Right this way, please, sir. So glad you come.”
Sydnee should’ve been used to this. Everywhere they went on the island people gushed over Brooks, and he always got plenty of women staring longingly at him. Luckily, none had approached them yet. She didn’t want to be the catty girlfriend.
The lady took them into the Islander Fish Spa and turned them over to the therapist there. The younger woman got them settled in a tank where little fish started nibbling at their toes. It felt like bubbles popping all over her feet. Sydnee giggled and tried to relax into the chair. Brooks squeezed her hand and laughed. “I’ve only done this once before, but it was kind of fun. I figured you never pamper yourself.”
“Too busy.”
He nodded. Sydnee appreciated him making this day possible and loved being with him, but she didn’t know that she wanted this kind of life. She needed the purpose of being busy with the children all day. Brooks was busy managing investments, his businesses, and all his staff. She knew he did a lot of good things with his money, but his lifestyle still felt a little lacking to her, and she didn’t know if that was something you told the man you were falling in love with.
He took her back to the orphanage after dinner and a walk on the beach. He hurried around to get her door and wrapped her up in his arms. Sydnee savored his tender kiss, then leaned her head against his chest and simply held on.
“I think I might love you a little bit, Sydnee Lee.” Brooks kissed her forehead.
Sydnee sucked in a breath. Her lips trembled. “Just a little bit?” She glanced up at him.
His dark eyes sparkled at her. He framed her face with his hands. “This is a big step for me, love. I’ve called so many women ‘love’ it doesn’t have meaning to me anymore, but you—” He gently rubbed his thumbs along her jawline. “You are everything to me.”
Sydnee’s body warmed from his touch and the searing look in his eyes. For better or worse, he made her believe that he meant what he said to her. But, was he ready to commit to her and her life with the children? They’d soared past his commitment issues, and now she wanted to push him to another level that would probably be much more uncomfortable for him.
He lowered his head and kissed her until she wasn’t sure which way was up, but she was sure that she never wanted to let him go.
Finally coming back to reality, she sighed and smiled at him. “You make me very happy, Brooks Hoffman. I don’t have to think about it. I do love you.”
His grin was of the caliber women wrote poetry about. He kissed her again, the passion and love swirling around them. Sydnee loved being with him, especially when she was in his arms. He released her lips and whispered, “I’d better let you get inside.”
“Come with me,” she begged. “Your staff is all here, and the children are probably settled into bed. I always sing to them at night. You don’t have to do anything, just be with me.” She hoped this would be the path to melding her two worlds, taking it slow and easy with Brooks getting to know her children and seeing how happy and darling they were.
Brooks shook his head quickly. “No. I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?” Sydnee’s stomach dropped. Why did he fight this so hard? She couldn’t really comprehend his upbringing, but somehow they had to get past it.
Brooks’s arms dropped away from her, and she shivered even though it was over seventy degrees. “Please don’t push this, love. I can’t. It’s too hard.”
“Brooks. You say you love me, but this is part of me. I need you to do it with me. I need you to love these children with me.”
He backed a step away. “No. Can’t we just be … us?”
“But part of me is the children. You would love them; just give them a chance.”
“I am giving them a chance. I’m providing for them financially.”
Sydnee didn’t say anything. He was right. Why couldn’t she just leave it at that? Because she wanted to be with him in every part of her life, and she really didn’t understand his obvious discomfort. Why was this so hard for him?
He shoved a hand through his hair. “You don’t know what you’re asking, Sydnee. Isn’t it enough that I’ve committed myself to you?”
Sydnee wanted to say yes, this was a huge step for him, but didn’t he see how much she loved these little ones? If she was a single mother, she knew he would give her child a chance. “Brooks, I’ve fallen in love with you, but I need all of you. Can’t you give me that?”
“If you loved me, you’d understand why I can’t.”
“How do I understand when you won’t even try? At some point you have to let go of the past and live your life.” Maybe he had been too damaged as a child. How could she help him through that? She knew her children must remind him of pain from his childhood, of his lack of a stable family, but there had to be a way to get past that.
He studied her for so long she knew his answer wasn’t going to be good. “You don’t want me to live my life; you want me to live yours. I can’t be with these children, Sydnee. I can’t.”
A taxi rolled up to the front of the orphanage. Brooks stepped in front of Sydnee. She appreciated his automatic protection. They didn’t get a lot of visitors, especially at night and arriving in a taxi. The door opened, and Sydnee peeked around Brooks’s shoulder.
“Hey, y’all.” The voice and face were a shock. “Can you tell me if Sydnee Lee is here?”
“Jace,” she whispered. It was him—tall, easy smile with the sandy blond hair and ocean-blue eyes that were as familiar as her own siblings. What was he doing here?
Brooks turned and gazed down at Sydnee. Their eyes connected, but she didn’t know what message she was sending. Would he think she’d invited her old boyfriend to come visit? Of course Jace would appear when they were fighting instead of kissing.
Brooks stepped back and muttered, “Here she is.”
Jace gave a hoot and jogged across the driveway. He picked her up, swinging her around and laughing. “Sydnee Lee! You look and smell as good as Momma’s lemon cream pie.”
Sydnee forced a laugh, getting dizzy from the swinging. Jace smacked a kiss on her lips, then finally set her on the ground. She looked around desperately for Brooks. The roar of an engine told her everything she’d feared. He pulled slowly away. She wanted to chase after him. Things were a mess between them, but she didn’t know how to make it right. He couldn’t see her point of view, and she was struggling to even want to see his.
Jace beamed down at her. “How’ve you been, pretty girl?”
Sydnee forced a smile. “It’s kind of a bad time, Jace.”
“Bad time? I thought this would be the best Christmas present I could give myself.” He winked at her.
“I’m dating someone,” she blurted out.
“That big guy?” Jace pointed where the Hummer used to be. “Seems to me a Southern girl would date somebody with a little better manners.”
“Oh, Jace. You have no idea what you’re saying.” Brooks’s manners were impeccable. It was his elephant of a past that was going to ruin their chance at happiness.
He slung his arm around her shoulder. “You got time to sit on the porch swing and tell me about it?”
Sydnee looked up at him, tears coming to her eyes. They’d been friends for a long time, and she could really use somebody to talk to. Maybe Jace coming was a good Christmas present for her as well.
19
The next two days dragged by with Brooks trying to distract himself with work, exe
rcise, riding his Harley, or taking his jet boat out for rides. Nothing worked, because nothing mattered to him anymore except Sydnee, and she was probably with that preppy guy with the Southern accent. Even if her old boyfriend hadn’t shown up, she was still a do-gooder who’d adopted an entire houseful of orphans as if they were her own. He wasn’t ready to be in love with somebody like that. Just the thought of seeing the pain in those children’s eyes brought all of it back to him. The beatings. The hunger. The feeling of no one really caring if you lived or died.
Could he really let go of his past and give those children a chance? What if that was his only path to being with Sydnee? He loved her, but he didn’t know how to reconcile what she wanted and what he could handle.
Christmas Eve was miserable. He’d given his entire staff two days off, and he hated being alone. He only wanted Sydnee for Christmas, and he couldn’t have her. Mr. Hoffman had always told him that when he was feeling miserable, he should help somebody else. He finally forced himself to call Camila and wrote down two pages of info, went into town, and bought toys, clothes, treats, anything he could see that the children might like. Several women hit on him, cooing about him buying children’s toys. He gave them an empty smile and walked away. Sydnee had ruined him.
Even though he didn’t know if they’d ever reconcile, he couldn’t resist buying gifts for Sydnee. In a jewelry store, he saw a diamond ring that drew him in. He’d never bought a ring for a woman. Was it time to change that? Could he change other things also?
He waited until nine p.m. to go to the orphanage. If the children were already asleep, Sydnee couldn’t ask that he visit with them. He really hoped that Jace guy had been sent packing. Was it too much to ask for more time? Time to deal with his past and his insecurities. What if seeing these children brought back all the loneliness and fear? What could he really do to help them have the love he’d never had?
Cozumel Escape (Destination Billionaire Romance) Page 10