He looked down at my hand and creased his face up. Without looking back at me he started to talk. “If we are goin’ to do this and add more children to this family, he is goin’ to need you to be his mother. Now, I know this is all so fast, but you are ready to be a mother. We talked about adoptin’ if you couldn’t get pregnant again. There is no difference. He already has my last name Savanna. I’m not askin’ you to replace his mother, but she is gone and you are here. Losin’ a parent as an adult is hard enough, but I can’t imagine what that kid is feelin’. He needs solidity. He needs us both.”
A knot was forming in my throat and I wanted to agree with Colt, I swear I did. Instead, I buried my head into his chest and began crying my eyes out. Of course, Colt pulled me into his chest tighter and held me there, placing kisses on top of my head. “I’m so sorry you have to make this decision Darlin’.”
“I just don’t know if I can do this Colt.”
He pulled me away from him and looked into my wet eyes. “Don’t you dare think about givin’ up on me Savanna. I couldn’t bear to lose you.”
I shook my head. “I will never leave you Colt. I swear it.”
“Can we do this together? Please can we welcome this little boy into our family and keep with our plan of fillin’ this house with more children?”
He wiped my tears away with his thumbs. “Of course Colt. I will do whatever I have to do for our family.”
He held me tight again and I could feel his body trembling. Colt was crying, which was something I had only seen a couple of times. He sniffled into my shoulder. “I can’t believe this is happenin’. Thank you Darlin’, thank you so much.”
Once Colt and I finally calmed down from our dual emotional breakdown, we remained on the porch swing in each other’s arms. We could hear Noah inside talking to his new grandmother about everything under the sun. Colt and I were also taking it all in, considering we knew nothing about the child.
When we finally went inside, my mother in law insisted that we were going to have a huge welcome dinner for Noah. The kid was ecstatic.
Soon Aunt Karen, Lucy and Conner showed up and we had a house full of people. Sheriff John showed up later and the older women went into the kitchen to start dinner. Noah was having a great time with all of the attention he was getting.
The most interesting part of the whole day was the way that Noah wanted to be around me. Colt hadn’t left his side, but he continued to favor my attention over everyone else’s.
At one point he tugged on my leg and I crouched down in front of him. “Can I have trains in my room?”
“You sure can. Would you like to go shopping with me tomorrow?” I asked.
“I want to go too.” Colt’s mother interrupted.
We were interrupted by a sudden knock at the door. Colt walked over and opened the door, revealing the two agents assigned to Noah’s case. “Sorry to barge in again. We have the temporary papers all signed and approved. When the documents are filed and the tests come back, we can get everything finalized and then you won’t hear from us anymore.”
“So, Noah can stay? Like..he can stay with us from now on?” Colt was beside himself.
“Our job is to find a home that is in the child’s best interest. You and Mrs. Mitchell can provide this child with a home and a stable environment. The courts will always side with the biological family first before they even consider putting the child into foster care. It will still be a few days before the papers are filed with the court system, but Noah is all yours.” He handed Colt a file. “This is all of Noah’s medical history, as well as a copy of his birth certificate and social security card. As you can see, he was given your name at birth.”
“How come I never found out about him? Why didn’t the state require child support?”
“The mother has to file for that. From what we gathered from the deceased woman’s father, she was involved and living a few towns over with her fiancée. There is no way you could have known unless the mother or someone told you.”
Colt reached out and shook the agents hand as they exited the house. He followed behind them and came back with a few suitcases full of Noah’s things. I watched the agents pull away from the house and turned back to Colt and Noah. They were opening up the bags to look through them. Colt got this look on his face and started fanning the bags. “These bags stink. I guess your Mommy started smokin’ again huh?”
Noah looked up at Colt. “Do you smoke?”
“Nope.”
I walked over and grabbed the bag, noticing the smell myself. “How about we wash everything so that when we get your furniture tomorrow we can fill your drawers with clean clothes?”
“That sounds good.” Colt agreed.
“I get all new things…and a new room too?” The little guy seemed shocked.
Colt patted him on the head. “Buddy, you can have whatever you want.”
Probably not the best thing to tell a little boy, but he was very overwhelmed.
The family stayed and had a huge spaghetti dinner for Noah. The child seemed to really fit right in. Colt made it a point to hug and kiss me even more than normal. I appreciated it so much that he was making an effort to be by my side during the transition. He had come so far from the man who used to shut everyone out. I never wanted to lose that.
As our family began to clear out, the three of us were left in the house all alone. I still couldn’t believe that we had just acquired a child in just one day. I had a feeling that maybe Sheriff John had made some calls on our behalf. I could hardly believe it was protocol to leave the child with strangers after one day. John knew the judge in town, and since he had been sheriff for so long, it made sense that people probably owed him a bunch of favors by now. It didn’t hurt that Colt’s family was the richest in the county and donated a bunch of money every year to different events and organizations.
It didn’t even matter how it all came to be. Noah was here with us and he didn’t have to leave. Colt was so happy and it made me happy too.
We tucked Noah into the guest room for the night, but after about an hour, I heard the door creaking open to our bedroom. A little boy in dinosaur pajamas came walking over to my side of the bed. “I’m scared.”
It was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I suddenly realized how Ty could fall in love with Bella so helplessly. I reached my arms out and pulled the little boy into bed with Colt and I. Once I got him between us, I tucked us both in and accepted him into my arms when he cuddled his little body against me.
I laid there for a while, just stroking little pieces of his hair. I had wanted a child of my own for so long. Being a mother was so important to me and here was this child, who obviously needed and trusted me. Maybe it was God’s plan all along for him to come into our lives. I kissed the little boy’s head and let myself fall asleep, feeling like that empty hole in my heart could actually have a chance to heal.
I woke to Colt talking to Noah. The sun was up and they were both leaning on their elbows in bed. Noah was telling Colt about a mean kid in his preschool. Colt was making faces and reacting exactly the way that Noah wanted him too.
I giggled and caught their attention. “Good morning sleepy head,” Colt said as he tossed an extra pillow my way.
“Not everyone likes to wake up at the crack of dawn,” I mumbled.
“We have a big day today. Conner and I are going to paint Noah’s room while you and Mom are out buying his furniture.”
“Sounds like you have it all planned out.”
“My dad says that we can paint it blue and green. Do you like blue and green? Green is my favorite. What is your favorite color?” The little boys sudden burst of conversation was unexpected. Colt began to laugh at me, as I tried to take in everything that had just come out of his mouth.
“Green is a nice color Noah. My favorite is blue.”
“Blue is cool too. Do you think I could put spaceships on my ceiling?” He asked.
I sat up and walked toward the bathroom. No
ah followed behind me, not realizing I needed a private moment. It was a good thing the toilet had its own private door. “Be right back,” I said as I closed the door to relieve myself.
When I came back out he was standing there with his hands behind his back waiting in the same spot I had left him. I gave him a quick smile and grabbed my toothbrush. “Can I brush my teeth too?”
Colt came in behind me and kissed me on the shoulder before reaching in the cabinet to grab one of the extra toothbrushes I had bought during one of my extreme couponing splurges. “Here Buddy. It might be too big for your tiny teeth though.”
He reached as far as he could, but couldn’t wet his toothbrush under the water. Colt lifted him up and let him sit on the sink. We all three brushed our teeth in unison. It was a simple mundane action, but it was so sweet. This was the family interaction that I wanted all along.
When Colt would spit, Noah would spit. He copied his father’s every move in fact. I came out of the bathroom to see them straightening the bed. He tossed the little boy on it and started tickling him. Noah laughed so hard as the two of them bonded. I leaned on the door frame, just watching how happy they were.
Our day of shopping burned little Noah out. At first he was so excited, but as we needed to fill out paperwork and drive to different places, he got tired. By the time we were on our way home he had fallen asleep.
Colt met us outside and offered to carry the sleeping little guy up to our bed. His mother, Conner and I started getting everything out of the car. By the time we made it up to his room, Colt was already back in Noah’s room. “What do you think? Think we did good?” He asked.
I looked around the room. I don’t know when they had the time, but they had painted the room green and blue. Hung from the ceiling were different planes and spaceships. “It looks amazing. He is going to love this.”
“Conner found him some glow in the dark stars too,” he added.
They both seemed so proud of their hard work. Colt’s mother had paid the furniture company to deliver it to our house. We could hear the trucks coming down the gravel driveway, so I ran downstairs to meet them.
Within thirty minutes we had his whole bedroom suite set up. The big surprise was that we had found a real bed in the shape of a train. Since it was a special order, Colt’s mother bought the floor model. This was her first grandchild, so you can imagine how much spoiling was going to occur. It worked out better because I had no idea how the thing was originally put together. It came apart in five pieces, but it was giant. His mother smiled from cheek to cheek as the guys got it all set up.
She had managed to buy him the furniture and also a whole slew of new clothes. I bought him all of his bedding, curtains and some cool toys for his room. It was no wonder he was conked out in the other room. I was about to fall asleep myself.
Noah slept for two hours, allowing us ample time to get his room set up. Conner and my mother in law finally went home, leaving Colt and I alone. I considered going into the room and sleeping right next to him, but my excitement for him seeing that room was too much to handle.
I sat on his train bed, setting up his toys on the built in book shelves. Colt hung his curtains and was arranging them as Noah walked into room. He put his hands over his mouth and looked around.
Colt put his hands on his hips. “Hey Buddy. What do you think? Did we do good?”
He ran toward Colt and wrapped his arms around his legs. “WOW!” He shouted.
We ended up ordering pizza after spending the next hour playing with all of the cool new things in his room. For someone that had just came into our lives, it felt like he had always been there with us.
The next few months went by fast. We got Noah enrolled in a preschool program close to home. He was excited to wear a cute little uniform everyday like the bigger kids did. Of course, he wore a uniform because it was an elite private school, not that Noah cared anything about that. He made new friends and no longer got picked on by other children.
He and Colt spent a bunch of time together, in fact, he often went to work with his father. Colt had taught him all about the chickens and even some things about the cattle. He thoroughly enjoyed the tractors and riding them with Colt. Sam no longer slept on our bedroom floor. She found a new spot in bed with Noah. Noah couldn’t have been more happy about it, considering he didn’t like being alone very much.
I wasn’t going to therapy as much and I actually felt good every day I woke up. We planned a huge trip to Disney World with Miranda and Ty in the fall and Noah was so excited to be able to see Mickey Mouse.
He and Bella finally got to meet and they were the cutest little pair of cousins. While they visited we had a professional photographer come and take pictures of them together as well as family photos of both of our families. I bought every single pose and hung them all over the house.
Colt had finally got in touch with Krista’s father and visited him at the nursing home. He gave Colt lot’s of old photos of Noah that Krista had given him. We wanted Noah to always be able to remember his birth mother. She had brought him into the world and spent her last breath loving him. We hung her pictures in his room along with new ones.
Social services came out for one visit and never contacted us again. We had sole custody and nobody could ever take Noah away from Colt.
Noah saw a therapist for the first two months he lived with us. We did it as a precautionary measure, but were relieved when the doctor said he was coping with the loss of his mother and change in his life very well. Colt and I spent every single free moment making him feel like he belonged with us.
For the longest time Noah called me Van. He liked that I had such a funny name. One day we were at the park. Colt and I were sitting together on a bench watching him play with the other kids. This cute little girl came walking over to us to tell us she had a new baby brother. As we gave her our attention, a very jealous Noah came over and climbed onto my lap. He interrupted her and put his face in front of mine, taking away my view of the little girl. “I love you, Mommy.”
His words took my breath away. I forgot all about that little girl as I hugged that jealous little boy. “I love you too, Noah. So much.”
“Why are you crying?” He asked.
“You called me Mommy.”
“Are you sad now?”
“No Buddy. I am so happy. You make me so happy.” I squeezed that little kid so tight as Colt rubbed my shoulder.
I was wrong about not being able to be his mother. My life revolved around that child and it was wonderful. I would never forget the baby that I lost, but Noah made me treasure every single day of being his parent.
Chapter 17
Colt
With the addition of Noah to our family, Savanna and I didn’t exactly have a lot of alone time. She became so focused on being a mother that our time together just seemed to be put on the back burner. I wasn’t complaining, she was an awesome mother. Noah was crazy about her.
Aside from his three days a week in preschool, they spent all of their time together. Savanna was an only child and I could relate somewhat, but I also got to grow up with my younger cousins, where Savanna didn’t have that.
I think sometimes she enjoyed playing with toys and being his pal. I had come home several times to them playing army men, or building giant Lego towers. I think part of the reason he adored her so much was her ability to play like a four year old.
Savanna and I had decided to get him a pony and start teaching him how to ride horses. She wanted to be the one to show him everything about it. I remember the day that horse trailer pulled into the ranch. Noah went flying out of the house, just waiting to see what his horse looked like. He had spent an entire week trying to guess it’s color and height.
His pony was white with brown spots and he named him Atticus. It wasn’t a common horse name, but his first choice had been Toilet Paper Butt. We spent a half hour explaining that toilet paper combined with butt was not an appropriate name, and whichever one of his frie
nds that told him that should be ashamed of themselves.
Savanna taught him the basics, first showing him what every part of a horse was called. Next she taught him how to saddle up his pony. After the first day he was busting to ride. While I took him out on one of the combines, Savanna saddled the pony up and gave him a test ride. We had bought him off of someone we knew and a little girl had been the previous owner. The pony was used to being ridden.
That following morning we saddled up one pony and two horses and went for a family ride. Savanna held on to a separate set of reigns to prevent Atticus from running off with our four year old son. We kept the horses at a slow pace, never letting them gallop or canter. Noah wanted to let loose, but Savanna did one hell of a job keeping him calm.
After a couple weeks she finally let him start riding without guidance. I bought him some boots and a cowboy hat so he could be the real deal. It was fascinating watching him grow right before my eyes.
Since we never got time alone, I had surprised Savanna with a trip to a cabin in the woods. I’ll admit that my intentions were only on one thing, but she never complained when I gave her the news. My mother took Noah gladly for the whole weekend, promising to not buy him a small island while we were gone.
It was so nice to get away with my beautiful wife. I had missed her so much physically. We spent every single day together, but I still missed her. Before Noah came into our lives, things weren’t exactly perfect. We had suffered so much and even though his coming into our lives made us stronger, we were still lacking the physical aspect of our marriage.
Our son had some kind of built in radar for intimate moments and many times he had come in the room right before the big moment was about to happen. Colt called him CB behind his back, as opposed to actually saying the word cock block. He was a little kid. He couldn’t have known that he was interfering in our special time together.
The cabin was very secluded and unbeknownst to Savanna, had a very large Jacuzzi tub in it. I made sure to pack all of our groceries so we never had to leave once we arrived. I didn’t want to share my wife for the entire weekend.
Raging Love (A Mitchell Family Series BK#3) Page 14