by Tracy Brown
“When he found out, we had an argument and we decided to cut our trip short. But I was so upset and so focused on getting back home, getting away from him … that I forgot about the bag of blow I had in my purse. And when we got to the airport they found it in my bag.”
Sunny’s brother Ronnie asked what they all were wondering. “So where’s Malcolm now?”
She shrugged. “They let him go after he paid a fine. So he left me there and came back home.”
Dale hung his head. Marisol dabbed at her eyes. Her brothers looked on in shame and pity. She hated being looked at that way. Her whole family was sitting there judging her, making her feel worse than she already did. As if they weren’t guilty themselves of enabling her for all these years. She thought back on Malcolm’s words during their trip.
To be honest, I feel a little sorry for you. Your family basically pimped you out from the age of seventeen.
An unexpected rage welled up inside of her and she wiped away the tears roughly and her eyes flashed with anger.
“Let’s not all sit here and act like this is a complete shock, okay?” She glared at her mother. “I know that you probably suspected that something was off. But you didn’t dare to say a word about it because it’s always been about the money to you.”
“Sunny!” Dale’s voice boomed as he sat forward in his chair.
Sunny’s eyes widened, defiantly. “What? I’m lying? The minute you figured out who Dorian was and what he was worth, you both turned a blind fucking eye to everything. Nobody would challenge me because you’re all scared that I’ll cut the cash flow. You sit there and you shake your heads at me, and you judge me. But it was all good until the media found out about it. Until today you all wondered and speculated behind closed doors, but had your hands out whenever I came around. You’re a bunch of fucking leeches.”
Dale was on his feet now. He stormed toward Sunny, but Ronnie stopped him. Marisol was crying now, the truth of what Sunny had said hitting her like a ton of bricks. Mercedes, seeing her family in turmoil and feeling overwhelmed by the events of the day, ran out of the room in tears and upstairs to the spare bedroom. The sound of Mercedes slamming the bedroom door reverberated throughout the home. Reuben looked around and felt like his family was falling apart right in front of his eyes.
“She’s right!” Reuben said, yelling over the noise of his mother’s sobs and his brother’s attempt to calm their father down. “She’s right.”
Marisol looked at her oldest child with pain in her eyes. “How can you say that, Reuben?”
He sighed. “Ma, come on. Be honest. All of us wondered whether that girl who OD’d was the only one getting high in the house that night in L.A. But none of us wanted to accuse her because we didn’t want to piss her off.”
Marisol and Dale stared at him, incredulously. Ronnie avoided eye contact and cast his eyes downward, convicted.
Reuben looked at Sunny. “The truth is, none of us would have been okay with you dating a guy like Dorian in the first place, unless he was as powerful and well-connected as he was. He paid off this house, he brought me into the game, and we all benefited from it. All of us did.”
Guilty silence filled the room. Dale slunk back to his seat on the sofa and buried his face in his hands. Marisol stared at the floor. Ronnie leaned against the wall and stared at a spot on the floor, digesting what Reuben had just said. It was true. They’d all come up as a result of Dorian’s relationship with Sunny.
But Reuben wasn’t about to allow his family to shoulder all the blame. He walked over to where Sunny sat and squatted down in front of her until they were eye to eye. Sunny met his gaze, grateful that at least one of them was willing to face the truth. Reuben had more to say, though.
“We fucked up by letting you get involved in this lifestyle. The money wasn’t worth what we got in exchange. Dorian is dead. All the money in the world can’t bring him back. And you’re a fucking cokehead.”
Sunny’s heart broke hearing her beloved brother describe her that way. She choked back a sob and looked down at her hands, but Reuben tilted her face back upward, staring her in the eyes.
“Don’t pass your blame around. Nobody stuck that shit up your nose but you, sis. You chose that lifestyle. You chose that man, and brought him here and told us to love him because you loved him. You’re right. We got blinded by the money and all his power. But you chose that life. And you’re the one who got caught up in it. You’re the one who decided that you was bored with having everything. So don’t go looking around for somebody else to take the fall for it.” Reuben wiped the tears from Sunny’s eyes. “You are a coke addict. You relapsed, and this time it cost you. Your name and face are gonna be all over the news, and for all the wrong reasons. Your daughter is mortified.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Sunny was angry at hearing the truth.
“Okay, so you know it. Now what are you gonna do about it? Point fingers at everybody else? It’s Mom and Dad’s fault for letting you be with Dorian in the first place. It’s my fault and Ronnie’s fault for having suspicions and not confronting you about it. It’s Malcolm’s fault for leaving you in Mexico. Everybody’s at fault, but you, huh, Sunny?”
“I’m not saying that!”
“So what are you saying?”
Sunny didn’t know how to respond. She stared back at Reuben in silence.
He shook his head at her, disappointed. “You did all the talking tonight and I didn’t hear you apologize to your daughter once! How do you think she feels hearing you say that you were bored and lonely when she’s been by your side all these years? Huh? How do you think she feels hearing you say that you haven’t lived since her father died? What does that say about her? That she’s not enough for you?”
“No, she is everything to me. That’s not what I meant!” Sunny couldn’t stop the tears now even if she tried.
“So I’m asking you again. What are you gonna do about it?”
Sunny threw up her hands in frustration. “I don’t know what to do, Reuben! You got all the answers. Why don’t you fucking tell me? What am I supposed to do?”
Reuben shook his head at her. “You get help. You check into rehab.”
“Rehab? I don’t need no damn rehab, Reuben! I been to rehab before.”
“Go again. It didn’t work last time.”
“It worked! I just … slipped up. I can get myself together again.”
“You’re in denial. You’re trying to blame everybody else but yourself. You need to stop bullshitting yourself, Sunny. You need help.” He stood up, straightened out his clothes, and looked down at his sister as she sat in the chair. “You told your story. We heard you out. And I’m telling you that we’re gonna take responsibility for enabling you for too many years. But it ends tonight. You need to go to rehab, and you need to make this shit right with your daughter. Until you do that, I have nothing to say to you. And I mean that shit sincerely.”
With that, Reuben turned and walked out the door. No one said a word in the long silent moments that followed. Soon, Marisol got up and went upstairs. Dale followed behind her. Ronnie stared at his sister for a long time before he said anything. When he did, his voice was low and restrained.
“Reuben is right. You don’t have to go through it by yourself. We’re your family. We got your back. We’ll support you. But you do need help.” He looked at his sister sympathetically. “Sleep on it at least. Don’t be so stubborn.”
He grabbed his car keys off the couch, walked out the door, and left Sunny sitting alone with the weight of the world on her shoulders. She sat there in silence and solitude for over an hour before she pulled herself together enough to head upstairs. She found that Mercedes had locked herself inside of Sunny’s old bedroom. So Sunny retired to one of the spare bedrooms, not even bothering to flip on the light switch. She sat on the edge of the bed, feeling defeated and completely spent after the day’s events.
Her mind was going nonstop. On one hand, she was so relieved to
be back in New York after her Mexican ordeal. On the other hand, she wished that she could escape from her family and their scrutiny. The prospect of sitting across from them at the breakfast table in the morning filled Sunny with dread. She had never felt more torn apart. For the time being, she and her child were captives because of the media frenzy surrounding her arrest in Mexico. Sunny chuckled bitterly at the irony that her D-list celebrity status had been upgraded to at least a B since the cocaine scandal broke. She shook her head at the fact that being locked up abroad would likely land her on the front pages where her modeling career had never placed her.
Her thoughts drifted to Malcolm. She wondered if he had anything to do with the press being tipped off about her arrest. It was clearly not beneath him to be so grimy, since he had abandoned her while she was jailed in a foreign country. Maybe in his bitterness he had betrayed her. She wondered when they would be face to face again. It was inevitable that they would cross paths. After all, he had brokered her movie deal. He was one of the partners at Ava’s firm.
Ava. The thought of her reminded Sunny of Jada. Damn. Sunny’s tears returned as she thought of her friend. Jesus. She had disappointed everyone she cared about. She shook her head in dismay. It would be a long, hard road to redemption.
7
UNFORGIVEN
Jada couldn’t believe her eyes as she tuned into the Mindy Milford Show the next morning. The scandal-obsessed talk show queen was on TV talking about Sunny’s arrest in Mexico, complete with pictures of Sunny’s arrival at JFK. Jada watched openmouthed as Mindy Milford filled in her audience on Sunny’s misfortune.
“Did you all hear about what happened to professional girlfriend, Sunny Cruz?” Mindy asked, as the cameras zoomed in on a photo of Sunny shielding her face from the cameras, surrounded by paparazzi and protected by her family who looked distressed and caught off guard.
The audience gasped, shook their heads, and rolled their eyes. Mindy chuckled. “Don’t get mad at me! It’s not my fault that Sunny can’t seem to leave those white lines alone.” On cue, the show’s producers played the chorus from the rap song by the same name. Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five’s “White Lines” played as Mindy cackled and the audience clapped. Jada cringed, as she watched her friend being made fun of.
Mindy fought to control her laughter before resuming her report. “Those of you who have followed me since my radio days will recall that Sunny Cruz and her friend Jada Ford came on my show a few years ago. They had just written their bestseller Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction,” and Sunny was one of the spiciest guests I ever had on my show. Both ladies arrived at the studio draped in diamonds and expensive clothes. They looked the part of the women they had written about. Their book was this salacious novel about life as the wives of drug kingpins—and this was back when there really were drug kingpins. Not these wannabes that you see nowadays. Her story and Jada Ford’s story was a “fictionalized account” of their own experiences on the arms of two notorious power players in the drug game.” Mindy paused to sip from her teacup as the audience waited with baited breath for her to continue. “Now, keep in mind that Sunny and Jada did not deny that this ‘fictional story’”—Mindy used air quotes to drive home her point that the story was anything but—“was based on their own truth. So I asked if Sunny was getting high like her character in the book was.”
Again, the audience laughed and applauded Mindy’s brazenness.
“Well … Sunny didn’t deny it! She told me point-blank that she used to get high, just like the character Charlene in the book!”
The gasps and laughter again. Jada felt herself growing angrier by the minute. Nothing about being an addict was a laughing matter.
As if reading her mind, Mindy gave a caveat.
“Now, I’ve always been honest about my own years as an offender. I had my struggles with cocaine addiction, and I’ve spoken about that in my books, on this show, and on my radio show back in the day. So, I’m not condemning Sunny for her affinity for the powder. What I did take offense to was that she threatened to fight me! Imagine that! This woman wrote a book chronicling a cocaine-filled lifestyle of money, parties, gunplay, and steamy sex, and when I asked about the truth behind the story, she got so defensive that it frankly caught me by surprise. When one opens themselves up to scrutiny by penning a novel about their life, one cannot start pulling off earrings and kicking off shoes to fight when someone asks a simple question!”
The audience agreed. Mindy seemed to be gloating about Sunny’s relapse. The look on her face screamed, I told you so!
“Well, it looks like those demons that Sunny didn’t want to face back then have reemerged today. So the report is that Sunny was in Mexico and as she was returning to the States, her luggage was searched and they discovered a bag of cocaine. Sunny was arrested, and managed to pay her way out of jail … allegedly.” Mindy winked as she said it, then sipped from her cup again. “Her family went down there to get her, but you know how shady those Mexican police officers can be. They ratted her out, and the paparazzi was waiting for her when she landed in New York.”
The photo of Sunny flashed across the screen once more. “This is so unfortunate. This is a tragic situation for Sunny’s career. She caused quite a stir at New York Fashion Week earlier this year when she strutted that runway with such fierceness that her breasts broke loose and made their debut.” The audience cracked up, as they had all heard about that. “And now we see why she didn’t notice!” Mindy laughed some more, and then composed herself. “Seriously, though. Sunny has dated many high-profile men in recent years. She dated football player Michael Warren, and later his teammate Sean Hardy.” Mindy gave the camera a side eye that said everything that she didn’t verbalize. “She accompanied the actor Jamie Knox to the Golden Globe awards years ago. So, this is why I call her a professional girlfriend. She has no problem snagging a great catch. But until she leaves that coke alone, she is going to be doomed to follow in the footsteps of the Lohans and Sheens of this world. And I’m praying that she pulls it together before it’s too late.” The audience clapped and cheered. Then Mindy was on to the next story.
Jada grabbed her car keys and her purse and ran toward the door. “Mr. Baez, I have to go out for a minute!” she yelled over her shoulder. “Call me if you need me.” Jada raced out the door without waiting for a response. She had to get to her friend immediately.
* * *
Sunny heard voices in her parents’ living room, and approached warily. The voices were lowered, hushed, as if the speaker didn’t want her to overhear. It was approaching noon, and Mercedes had just returned from her last day of school—a half-day schedule in which the students only had to report to homeroom class to pick up their final report cards for the semester. Raul had driven her to school, waited for her around the corner, and then returned her to Sunny’s parents’ home. It hadn’t gone well, by the looks of it, because Mercedes had come in, stormed up to the bedroom, and slammed the door. She hadn’t emerged since then. Sunny half expected to find her mother and father talking to some school administrator. As she got closer, though, she recognized the familiar Southern drawl of Dorian’s mother, Gladys, as she addressed Marisol.
“You know that I have always loved Sunny. No matter what ups and downs her and Dorian went through, I always stayed out of it. And soon enough, they always got back on track.”
“I know,” Sunny heard her mom reply. “I remember the way those two went back and forth. In love one day, and at each other’s throat the next.”
The two ladies chuckled at the memory.
“Dorian loved Sunny so much that it would be impossible for me not to love her, too. When he died…” Gladys’s voice trailed off. “Sunny did a good job picking up the pieces. Mercedes is a smart young lady. This time, I think she’s too smart to ignore what’s going on. Sunny’s all over the news. BET, TMZ, Mindy Milford’s show. This is gonna embarrass Mercedes, and the entire family for that matter.”
Marisol’s h
eavily accented voice sounded unusually shaky. “Gladys, this was a mistake that Sunny made. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes.”
“This mistake keeps happening with Sunny, though,” a deep voice countered.
Sunny recognized it instantly. It was Patrick, Dorian’s brother. Sunny was convinced that he and his brother Christian wanted nothing more than to get their hands on Dorian’s money. Ever since his death, Sunny had been constantly on guard against Mercedes’ greedy uncles. In the days after Dorian’s funeral, Sunny had fled to her mother’s family home in Puerto Rico to escape the danger she felt existed for her as the sole beneficiary of Dorian’s money. Everybody knew how ruthless his brothers were. Patrick’s presence now only confirmed that.
Sunny stepped into the room. “What’s all this about?” she asked, gesturing toward Gladys and Patrick. “Why are you here?”
All eyes turned to her, and an awkward silence followed as they all searched for what to say. Finally, Gladys spoke up.
“Sunny, we came over here to talk about Mercedes.” Gladys sized up Sunny, noting that she’d lost some weight since the last time she saw her. “Maybe it’s time she came to stay with us, since you need to get yourself together.”
“Get myself together?” Sunny smirked. “Miss Gladys … with all due respect. When have I ever looked to you or your family for help?”
“Sunny…”
“No, seriously.” Sunny stepped closer. “You came over here to be nosy. Because you heard about some lies they put out there. You don’t have to worry about my daughter. She’s fine.”
“Dorian would want me to look out for Mercedes. She’s my granddaughter,” Gladys reminded her. “I have a right to question the way she’s being raised.”
“Okay, you asked your questions. I answered them. Now it’s time for you to go.”
“Sunny—” Marisol hated to hear her speak to Gladys so dismissingly.