by Ws Greer
“Well, I was out with her, so I guess you got me pegged all wrong,” I reply, and I don’t want to talk about Alannah with anybody, so I stand up and change the subject. “Anyway, look, I want the shooter found, like, yesterday. This motherfucker is gonna pay for the shit he tried to pull, and I don’t wanna wait. So, I need all of you on this until it’s done. Call me as soon as you find him.”
I grab my coat and start heading for the door.
“Okay, and where are you gonna be while we’re hunting this fucker down?” Tommy asks, gesturing with his hands.
“I told you, he almost got Alannah. I gotta go make sure she’s okay.”
There’s that look again. The three of them have the same expression like they’re triplets. They look at each other like they know they’re all thinking the same thing, but it’s Tommy who speaks for all of them.
“Look, Dominic, I don’t know who this Alannah girl is, or why you seem so concerned about her, but maybe it’s not a good idea for you to be out and about while there’s a contract on your head. Why don’t you let Joe go with you?”
Skinny Joe immediately stands up in preparation to come along.
“No,” I say quickly. “I don’t need a fucking bodyguard, and don’t worry about Alannah. Just find the fucking shooter, Tommy. That’s it.”
“Okay, Dominic, you got it,” Tommy replies, but I can still see the confusion on his face as I turn around and walk out.
I can understand the confusion amongst the guys. It’s not like me to keep things secret, especially in regards to women. Tommy’s right, before Alannah came back, I wasn’t interested in anything serious with women. They got one night of my attention and my dick, and then that was it. The possibility of something more was never an option because I never wanted to risk the distraction that emotions cause, and I never wanted some girl finding out more than she needed to know and going and running her mouth to anybody. One night was all anyone ever got. But Alannah isn’t just anyone.
Alannah is the one. She’s the one and only and she always has been. So, it doesn’t matter if Tommy and the guys don’t understand right now, and it doesn’t matter if Frankie doesn’t get it either. Every capo in The Family is married, and so are Leo and Jimmy, and almost all of them have a gumar on the side, so they got no room to judge me for anything.
I wouldn’t give a fuck if they judged me anyway, because when it comes to Alannah, something’s different. With her, all of the rules change.
Alannah
The boxes on the floor are driving me crazy, but it’s worth it to have my own place. It took the landlord a couple of days to get my apartment ready, which is why I had to stay in River City, but I was able to start moving in this morning, and although it sucks having to unpack, it feels good to have a place to call my own.
It’s only been a day since I almost died at Isle of Capri with Dominic, and the memory is still a fresh wound that hurts when I think about it. I dreamt about it the night it happened and developed a new level of understanding for people who go to war and experience PTSD. My situation only lasted a few seconds and I’m a total wreck, so I can only imagine if it had lasted days, weeks, or months.
It wasn’t long ago, but I’ve spent every second since then thinking about it. Thinking about Dominic. I haven’t heard from him since that night, but I’m glad because I don’t know what I’d say or do at this point. I feel like my dreams of what it’d be like to come back to him came crashing down around me like the exploding glass window. I had one thing in mind, and I initially thought that thing was going to come true. However, reality has a way of slapping you in the face, and that’s exactly what happened.
Dominic Collazo, the beautiful Italian I fell in love with when I was just a teenager, is still gorgeous, and the emperor of sex appeal. He’s even a bigger bad boy now than he was before, but there’s a price that comes with it that I simply didn’t take into consideration.
A teenager who’s a bad boy is almost never as bad as he seems. He probably smokes, or doesn’t take shit from anyone, including adults he should fear and respect, or he dresses like he doesn’t really give a damn about anything. It’s usually something on the surface, but deep down, he’s just a kid trying to find himself.
An adult bad boy is much more dangerous. An adult bad boy is the one who’s into the illegal things that can bring you the most trouble. An adult bad boy knows who he is, knows he’s bad, and doesn’t care a bit. It’s real when they’re bad men. That’s Dominic.
As a kid, Dominic was everything I wanted, and he’s still physically everything, but he scares me now in a way he couldn’t before. Maybe it was because I didn’t know about everything, and I was a bit naïve when it came to his father and the Italian ancestry. Well, I know about it all now—I know how the police view the mafia and I know the history of it, and after the shooting the other night, I can’t help but look at Dominic differently. At least, that’s how I think I feel before I hear a knock on my front door.
It’s nine o’clock in the evening and I’m unpacking in a new apartment, so I don’t know why anybody would be at my door right now, unless it’s the landlord checking up on me. So, I pause for a minute, holding a plate in the kitchen and assuming my visitor will realize they have the wrong house and go away. But there’s another knock. I put the plate in the golden oak cabinet and slowly make my way over to the door. I look out the peep hole and I’m shocked to see him.
It’s him.
It’s Dominic.
“Hi,” he says as I open the door. He smiles at me, but I don’t smile back, and I can see it makes him a little uneasy. “How are you?”
“I’m okay,” I answer, before getting to what I really want to know. “How do you know where I live?”
He smirks as if to say “You didn’t really think you could hide from me, did you?”
“I had one of my guys look into it.”
“But I just moved in . . . this morning.”
“I know. I looked for you at River City and they told me you checked out, so I had my guy, Charlie, look into it for me. Charlie has ways of finding things out like that.”
“Umm, that’s a total invasion of privacy, but okay.”
“I know it is, and I’m sorry about that. I just really needed to talk to you. Can I please come in?”
I want to hesitate, but there’s something in me that wants to let him in. He looks amazing in his white button-up and light gray pants. It’s pretty casual but he makes casual look sexy as hell. I move aside and he brushes past me.
“Excuse the mess,” I tell him as I lock the door and turn to face him.
His face is serious as he steps around the scattered boxes. He’s been thinking about a lot, I can tell, and that expression of worry is still lingering. I try to not to get caught up in the look on his face and just focus on how I almost got shot the last time I was with him. I do my best I’m pissed off impression, and stand there waiting for him to speak. It takes a minute for him to realize I’m waiting, then he gets to it.
“Okay,” he begins nervously, gesturing with his hands. “Umm, I don’t really know how to say everything I wanna say, but I know I need to say it. I know that shit was bad the other night, and I didn’t expect all of that to happen, and I swear that’s not the kind of thing that goes on in my life on a regular basis. Before that night, everything was smooth. I’m a casino owner and a business man, but I don’t want to lie to you, or lead you to believe something other than the truth. It’s been ten years, and there’s things you don’t know about me, and I’d hate for you to get the wrong impression, so it’s important that I’m honest with you.”
He takes a deep breath and steadies himself, like his words are heavier than his body is ready for. I feel nerves in my stomach, but I let him continue without interrupting.
“The stuff you said you heard on the news is mostly true. I am a made member of the Giordano family, otherwise known as the St. Louis mafia, or the St. Louis crime family. My father was a made m
ember as well, and he started prepping me to be a part of it when I was about eight years old. I’ve seen and done a lot since then, and a lot of that stuff has been bad. I’ve done things you probably don’t ever want to hear about, things I won’t tell you for your own safety. This thing is all I know, and I’ve managed to make it mostly legit, and I’ve avoided most of the stereotypical mafia bullshit they say on TV. Things went south before you got here, but there’s something you gotta know, Alannah. I’ve been waiting for you since the day you left.
“I tried to put on this tough guy act when I first saw you, and I tried to avoid how seeing you made me feel. I didn’t want you to think I was soft, but none of that matters anymore. The truth is, I haven’t been able to be serious with anyone because nobody could ever compare to you. The things I’ve felt for you since the day we met in 2001 could never be replaced by something new. Why do you think I’ve been carrying your letter around for the past ten years? It’s always been you, Alannah. Since I was eleven years old, it’s always been about you, even when we were in junior high and I was too chicken shit to tell you. My heart left when you did, and now that you’re back, everything I felt has come rushing back with you. It’s new, and it’s fucking terrifying, especially with the shit that went down at Isle of Capri, but this feeling will never be matched.
“I just need you to know that I would die protecting you. I would literally lay down my life to make sure you’re safe, and you’re the only fucking person in the world I’d do that for. I promise I’ll take care of you, nobody will ever lay a finger on you, and nobody will ever feel about you the way I feel about you.
“You are it for me, for the rest of my fucking life, I know it. You’re it. So, I’m begging you to give me a chance to clean up this thing that went crazy the other night. I’m asking you to forget the other stuff, and focus on us. Focus on what we felt for each other ten years ago, and how those feelings were strong enough to bring you back here, all the way from fucking Alaska. You’re it for me, Alannah, and I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance to prove that I can be it for you, because now that you’re back, I don’t think I can handle being without you again.”
I should be running for my life. I should kick him out and hide under the covers until he goes away for good. I shouldn’t care what he says or how sweet it sounds, or how good he looks. I should get far, far away from Dominic and everything dangerous that comes with him. I just don’t want to.
I tell myself I don’t care, but the tears in my eyes tell me otherwise.
I tell myself I don’t want him, but my body tells me different.
I tell myself he’s dangerous, but my heart doesn’t care.
I tell myself I can go back to Alaska and get over him, but I know that’s a lie.
I breathe hard, like I just finished running a mile, and I can feel the tears stinging my eyes as I stare at his terrifying beauty. I think to say something, but when I start, the words catch in my throat and I feel overcome with emotion. All I can do is shake my head and try to fight off the combination of joy and fear I feel. Looking at him makes it worse, and I have to pry my eyes off of him so I can look at the floor until I recover from what feels like a blow to the stomach.
“Why?” I stammer, still staring at the floor. “Why can’t I say no, when I know I should? Why can’t I turn off these feelings?”
“Because you’ve loved me since you were eleven years old, and it doesn’t matter what we do now. Nothing will ever turn this off.”
As I look down, I’m taken aback by the sudden sound of his footsteps on the hardwood floor. Dominic races over to me and firmly puts his hands on my cheeks. He lifts my head up and forces me to lock eyes with him, then he presses his lips against mine like it’s the first and last time he’ll ever be able to do it.
My body melts into a pool of hot wax at his feet as I let go and give in. His tongue caresses mine and moves like it’s been waiting to be reunited with me. Dominic’s breathing picks up and it’s now just as heavy as mine as we kiss with more passion than there has ever been in my life. I couldn’t pull away from him if I tried, and I wouldn’t dare try.
His hands start to explore my body as they slide down my neck and make their way to my hips. He pulls my pelvis to his and I don’t even know how to react. Instincts take over and my hands mirror his. I pull him into me, and it’s in that moment that I know I’m lost forever. I want him like I know I’ll die without him, and once that thought enters my mind, it burrows deep and there’s no getting it out. There’s no U-turn allowed, and I’m on a one way street to somewhere frightening and exhilarating.
I can’t go back.
I don’t want to go back.
My fingers claw at the buttons on his shirt, and his tear at my belt. I drop his shirt at the same time he lets my jeans fall to the floor. The cold air hits my legs, but his hands immediately warm them up again as he rubs my inner thighs like he’s reading my mind.
His body is picture perfect: smooth, tight, ripped, vascular muscles, pulsating in his chest and arms as he rubs my body. The look and feel of it all takes my breath away, but it’s nothing compared to what I feel when Dominic drops to his knees, pushes my panties to the side and rubs his tongue over my clit.
I nearly scream, and my knees buckle instantly. Dominic has to hold my body upright as he works his tongue over and over again on my clit. My body jumps and writhes like it’s mimicking the moves his tongue makes, and the sensation is so strong, I start to wonder if I’ve ever had someone do this to me before. I have, of course, but Dominic is so good it erases the others. No one and nothing existed before this.
I grip his hair and let it slide between my fingers, and then I have to squeeze and pull it as the orgasm hits me like I never saw it coming. I moan, I yell, I whimper, I fall apart, I melt in his mouth, and he loves every second of it.
Once I’m able to stand on my own, Dominic slowly rises. He locks eyes with me for a second, then he bends at the knees and wraps his arms around my waist. His biceps tighten around my hips and his forearms grip my ass as he lifts me up off the floor, and starts to carry me down the hall. I look down at him and wrap my arms around his thick neck.
“Where’s your bedroom?” he asks, his voice low and hot.
“Third door on the left,” I answer.
Dominic carries me down the hall and into the bedroom, and I pat myself on the back for telling the movers to make sure the bed was setup before they left. There’s no sheets or covers on it, but we won’t be needing those.
Dominic lays me down on the bare mattress, then he stands up so I can see him. The lights are out, but I can still see his rock hard stomach with the six-pack that looks drawn on. I watch him as he unfastens his pants and drops them to the floor. My heart explodes into a million caffeinated butterflies as he pushes his boxer briefs down and they fall to his ankles.
Every inch of him is beautiful.
Every.
Single.
Inch.
I stare at him. I stare at it, and I feel warmth emanating from between my legs like our bodies are communicating. I watch him pull a condom from his pants and slide it on, and every move he makes is laced with sexiness, and I can barely take it. We can’t wait any longer.
He pulls my panties off and doesn’t waste a second before sliding inside me. The width of his shaft stretches me in all the best ways, and I gasp at the feeling, sucking in as much air as I can to steady myself.
He starts slow, grinding from side to side before thrusting slow and deep. My fingers grip his muscled back as he takes his time, making sure I feel every inch of him. He pushes himself in as deep as our bodies will allow us to go, then he pulls himself out to the point of teasing me with the tip, before sliding all the way back in.
Every.
Single.
Inch.
“I need you, Alannah,” he whispers in my ear as his hand runs over the top of my head. When he reaches the back, I feel him grip my hair. “I need you to feel how much I nee
d you.”
Dominic’s hips start to pick up speed as he pulls my hair, using it as leverage. My fingers tighten on his back differently now, and my nails dig into his skin. He thrusts into me hard and strong, like the time for the appetizer of lovemaking is over, and we’ve moved on to the main course of fucking a woman the way she wants to be fucked.
The headboard bangs against the wall with every upward thrust and I have to wrap my legs around him so I can hold on. I’ve never felt anything like this before, and the sound that comes from my mouth surprises me as I scream like I hope my new neighbors will hear. He pulls my hair so my chin is pointing at the ceiling, and the sound of our pelvises crashing together echoes through the apartment.
This is nothing like ninth grade. This isn’t homecoming night in the passenger seat of his dad’s car. No, this is what dreams are made of. This is what every woman hopes she can marry so she can experience it on a regular basis for the rest of her life. This is everything I never knew I wanted. This is the best I have ever fucking had, and my second orgasm triples the intensity and sensation of the first one. It washes over me like a tidal wave and I scream so loud I know my throat will hurt the rest of the week, but it’s a pain I’ll gladly carry around with me as a memory of how incredible Dominic is.
As I come down, Dominic’s body tightens up. His muscles reach a new level of rock hard, and his breathing becomes labored and staccato as he plunges himself deep into me until he comes just as hard as I did. He moans the sexiest moan known to man and tightens his grip on my hair. It hurts, but I couldn’t care less—another pain I’ll gladly accept.
Then, it’s over. Dominic collapses onto the mattress next to me, breathing heavily on his back as he stares up at the ceiling. My body still trembles from my own orgasm, and I’m sure I won’t walk right for a while, so I don’t move. I lay there next to him, speechless, and buried inside a bubble that protects me from the truth.