Arizona Skies: The Muse

by S. Cruz

  “I thought you had a graphic-arts degree.”

  “I do. I went to college and got my degree to make my father happy, playing with the band on weekends, holidays, and over summer vacation. My dad made me work for him to help pay for college, he thought my music was a waste of time and that I needed to do something where I could make a living. Scott and I went to the same college, only his degree is in music,” he said.

  “Oh, your father owns a business?”

  “Yes, Greene Graphics and Design. Only now that my father has passed away, it’s Greene and Stoller Graphics and Design,” he explained. “I was supposed to take over the helm someday, but my brother-in-law, Matt Stoller, took over after he married my sister, which I was very thankful for.

  “Jesse I’m sorry to hear about your father.”

  “Yeah me too, I loved him. He was hard on me, but I needed it. We all miss him. He just couldn’t understand why my music career always came first. My father finally gave up trying to convince me that I’d never make a living singing in a band. So I share the vice presidency with my sister, Jennifer; she’s worked there since high school and knows the business from the ground up. She runs the advertising department. She and Matt have successfully kept the business booming; he’s a very smart man. That’s how he met my sister, working for my dad. My father was impressed with him and was thrilled when they got engaged. He started mentoring him right away. I was relieved, because he took to the helm like he was born to it.

  I still went to college to get my degree to make my father happy, just in case my singing didn’t work out. Matt and Jen keep me in the loop with what’s going on with the business, but after my dad passed, my sister and mother decided I should follow my dreams. You’ll love my sister and her family,” he said, kissing my hand.

  “I can’t wait to meet them,” I said, so happy he was sharing his life story with me.

  “And my mother is going to love you, after she gets over the shock. I’ve never brought a girl home before,” he laughed.

  “We’ve got to get going and get tuned up; it’s seven fifteen,” John said.

  “Can we go?” I asked John.

  “Sure,” John said, giving the signal for everyone to follow him.

  “Did I tell you that you look spectacular tonight?” Jesse said, kissing my hand.

  “Yes, about a dozen times,” I said, following him out on the deck. It wasn’t sunset yet, but the sun was low in the sky, just starting to turn bright orange and red; it was beautiful. As we walked I breathed in the sea air, feeling more alive than I had for most of my twenty-two years on this planet.

  A smile crossed my face as I remembered our day swimming with the dolphins. Life doesn’t get much better than this, I thought, hoping I had a lot more adventures to come. I had to say that life in Jesse’s world was not boring! I embraced the change and looked forward to every day I had with this man, hoping there were to be many more ahead.

  The waitress came with our drinks and passed them out. I saw her brush suggestively up against Jesse. I couldn’t hear what she said to him when she handed him his beer. He had a forced smile on his face and looked at me. Her body was against him; then she reached around and grabbed his ass as she left to go back to the bar. I couldn’t believe it. I was sure my mouth was open as I looked up at Jesse’s stunned face. He didn’t look like he enjoyed it, and he immediately came to me. Is this what I’m in for? Do I have to fight every woman for him? So many questions floated around my mind. Could I even put up with this shit?

  This was exactly the lifestyle I wanted to avoid. I bristled when he touched me, a knee-jerk reaction I couldn’t help. I questioned Jesse, but he looked innocent. God, I wanted to believe him so badly. He said she’d been flirting with him since the beginning of the cruise, but he wasn’t interested. I had to believe him and knew this was going to be a problem if we wound up together. He’s handsome and talented and women are drawn to him; accept it Bailey, I thought to myself. My life could wind up being very complicated some day and I’d have to learn how to deal with it if I wanted to be with him.

  Jesse

  We tuned up, did a sound check, and went over tonight’s playlist. The cruise coordinator came in with the programs they had printed up for tonight. We looked them over and read the write-ups on each of us. They’d done a good job; they were accurate, and we approved it. The program told about our pending record deal and named some of our original songs that would be on the record. There were a couple good shots of us performing in Phoenix at this bar, our regular spot. Scott was jumping in the air with his hair flying all over. I was on the stool with my eyes closed singing “Broken.” It was all good. We were psyched and ready to have our fans have a little piece of our story to remember us by.

  While I was in the shower, I did a mental recap of today’s activities. Bailey was incredible. Seeing her in the water with those dolphins swimming around her was so beautiful. Her big, brown eyes were full of wonder as she touched them. I couldn’t wait to see the pictures. She captivated my heart every minute I was with her. I remembered the story of the Grinch when his heart grew three times larger—that was what I felt like when I was with her. The old, fucked-up Jesse just melted away, and like a phoenix rising from the ashes, a new and improved Jesse emerged. I felt like I was reborn; I had a second chance.

  I got ready for tonight’s dinner, anxious to see my girl. My God, I’d never said that before, my girl! I tried not to think about letting her go in a few days; when I did, I got this tightness in my chest, and panic set in. It was like she was my life’s blood, and I needed her to survive. How could I go into the recording studio and sing love songs without her beautiful face to look at? The words I sang had so much more meaning now. I truly understood what love was, and I couldn’t let it go and leave me feeling empty again. That was what I was, empty and uncaring. I hated that guy!

  Bailey walked into the dining room, and her beauty immediately lit up the room. This exotic beauty walked right up to me. She was oblivious to the reaction of the male population around her. She turned heads wherever she went, but she never noticed. I held out my arms, and she walked right into them. She’s mine!

  I protectively held her as we walked to our table. John, of course, was watching me the whole time; he knew I’d fallen in love with this beautiful girl. He didn’t gloat, but he kept his eye on me. He’d been like my surrogate father since I was seventeen. We had this bond, and I trusted him, even though most of the time I was a pain in his ass. He understood and gave me my space. He nodded with a smirk as I pulled out Bailey’s chair for her. I’d never done that with any other woman before. I figured you want women’s rights, pull out your own damn chair, open your own damn door—well, you get the idea. I was a prick.

  “Looking lovely tonight, Bailey,” John smiled at her. He’d taken an instant liking to her. I wasn’t sure if it was because she inspired me, or the fact that I was cleaning up my act because of her. Whatever the reason, they were becoming close, and I wasn’t too sure I was comfortable with that. What if he started telling stories about my sordid past? I didn’t want her to know about my lost years, not yet anyway. Full disclosure was something for when I was sure she wouldn’t run away. Some secrets are better left secrets.

  “Thanks, John,” Bailey blushed. God, I loved it when she blushed.

  “Can we come with you when you go to get ready for tonight’s performance?” she asked him.

  “Absolutely, you’re part of our group now,” he said, winking at me.

  “Me too?” Shelly asked.

  “Of course,” John said, smiling at her.

  “So are we like roadies or something?” Shelly asked.

  “No, roadies carry the equipment and set it up and tear it down,” John laughed.

  “Oh, so am I Scott’s old lady; isn’t that what you guys say?” she asked so innocently. The whole table burst out in laughter at her question.

  “No, nothing old about you, sweetheart,” John chuckled.

/>   “You’re my girl,” Scott said, kissing her cheek.

  “I like that,” she said, smiling up at him.

  “OK, so now we know who we all are; can we get out of here and get ready for tonight?” John said as he got out of his chair.

  “Come on, old lady; follow your man,” Scott chuckled.

  “Now I’m sorry I said that,” Shelly said, taking his hand while we all laughed.

  “Everyone meet my old lady,” Scott announced, holding up Shelly’s hand. She actually blushed, something I didn’t think she was capable of doing. Yep, Scotty was a perfect match for her blondness; his sharp wit matched her own. This certainly was going to be an interesting matchup. We followed behind them, laughing as Scott escorted her out of the dining hall.

  “I can’t believe those two,” Bailey chuckled.

  “Well, don’t laugh too hard, honey, because you’re my old lady too,” I said with a smirk.

  “Jesse, stop it,” she said, swatting my shoulder. I faked pain and laughed at her embarrassed look. “Damn Shelly and her big mouth!”

  “She is something else, that friend of yours,” I chuckled.

  “You should talk; look at your best friend the clown.” She nodded at Scott as he put his hands in the air and yelled.

  “See you all tonight in the Green Room, woo…hoo…” and out the door he burst, dragging Shelly behind him. Keith laughed and John just shook his head as the rest of us followed up the floor show.

  How could anyone get mad at such a comedian like Scott? Sometimes he exasperated me to no end, but then he’d do something incredibly sweet or simply ingenious, and I’d forget about his antics. The man was a genius, creative and smart and so full of life. Life was never dull around him.

  I handed each of the girls a program when we got to the Green Room, something for them to read while we tuned up. Our background story was all laid out there for them to read. That flirty waitress brought us all drinks, brushing up against me as she served everyone. Bailey was watching as I tried to duck her advances. I didn’t need her getting upset over something that was never going to happen.

  “Here you go, handsome,” the waitress said, handing me a beer.

  “Thanks,” I said, giving her a forced smile.

  I kept my eyes on Bailey as she chewed her lip. I knew what she was thinking and had to diffuse the situation before it got out of control.

  Too late, that waitress grabbed my ass as she walked away.

  Bailey sucked in her breath when she saw that. Fuck, now what do I do? “What the hell was that?” she asked, trying not to make a scene.

  “I don’t know; she’s been flirting with me ever since the cruise started. Honey, I swear I haven’t returned any of her advances,” I said, putting my arm around her. I was afraid that she was going to shut down on me. She had told me how she felt about the rock-band scene. I didn’t need her to cut and run now—Christ, I’d just found her.

  “Is this what I’m going to have to deal with?” she asked with hurt written all over her face.

  “No honey; I can’t help how some women act, but I promise you it’s only you I care about. Please trust me,” I said, kissing her cheek. My heart was pounding so hard inside my chest, panic was rising, and I had to perform in a few minutes.

  “It’s true, Bailey; I’ve never seen him like this before,” John said, coming to my rescue. “You’re good for him; give him a chance.” I nodded my unspoken thank-you to him. He nodded back and sat back to see how the scene was going to play out.

  “I do trust you, Jesse. You told me you weren’t an angel before, and I see how the women fall all over you. I guess I’ll have to get used to that, as long as I know you’re mine,” she said with a forced smile.

  “Oh, honey, I’m definitely yours,” I said, kissing her lips.

  “OK, crisis averted, let’s get on stage and get ready,” John said, slapping his hands together to get everyone’s attention. We all got up and followed him onstage just as the curtain came down.

  “You OK, Bails?” Shelly asked.

  “I think so; just that waitress was all over Jesse,” Bailey told her.

  “I know; I saw it. What a bitch,” Shelly said.

  “I can’t believe she just did that,” Bailey said out loud. Oh honey you wouldn’t believe what women will do to get their hands on a rock star, I thought to myself. I’ve been groped in more places on my body by women trying to get my attention. I used to laugh and dodge their greedy hands as I tried to drink my beer and hang with the guys. I listened to see what Bailey was going to say next. I was worried that she couldn’t handle all the attention that I got, this would only get worse and I hoped that she could cope.

  “Listen, Scott said Jesse’s a changed man. I don’t think he’ll be going back to that lifestyle again, honey. You have nothing to worry about. It’s only you he cares about,” Shelly said to her. I could still hear them talking from the stage as I paced back and forth. Thank you, Shelly, I thought, liking that girl more and more every day. John gave me the thumbs-up; he must have heard them too. I nodded and took a deep breath.

  I was looking forward to performing in the Green Room again; the crowd was very appreciative, and the acoustics were great. Tonight we were going to add a couple more up-to-date songs we’d rehearsed. Of course, I was going to sing a few oldies too; a lot of the younger crowd had never heard some of them. They were classics that John and I had grown up with. They were much more interesting to sing than some of the newer songs that drove me crazy with the one liner sung throughout the song to a heavy beat. Boring!

  The noise was escalating as my confidence kicked in. I couldn’t hear the girls talking anymore and stood with my band mates to wait for our cue to start our set. I love the adrenaline rush just before we start to perform, everyone remained calm and cool looking at me for confirmation that my head was ready. I loved it out there; I don’t ever remember getting nervous in front of a crowd. The more people the better I performed.

  John nodded it was time. I took a deep breath and nodded to each guy as I held my hand in the air and waited for the curtain to open.

  “Let’s rock,” I said to the band as I turned and walked toward the front of the stage.

  Ten

  Bailey

  We watched the band do their final sound checks. John went over the night’s list of songs, and then they sat at our table with us for the remaining fifteen minutes to drink a beer. Jesse gave us the programs with their pictures and a write-up on each member. I got Jesse and the guys to sign mine and put it away for safekeeping. I pulled the box with the leather bracelet out of my purse and handed it to Jesse.

  “I bought you something,” I said, handing Jesse the box. I was nervous as he looked at me and took the box out of my hand.

  “Bailey, what did you do?” he asked, looking at me. He opened it and took out the leather band, holding it up to check out the artwork on the stone. “Sweetheart, it’s fabulous; I love it,” he said, snapping it on his wrist. “It’ll remind me of you; it’s perfect. Every time I look at it, I’ll remember our time together.” He leaned over to give me a sweet kiss with such tenderness in his eyes.

  “I’m so glad you like it. I was hoping that it would remind you of this cruise,” I said, relieved. He snapped it on his wrist and held it up for the guys to look at. He smiled at me and gave me a sweet kiss just as the lights flickered and it was time for them to take the stage. Jesse gave me another kiss and got up.

  “Let’s go; it’s time,” John said, swirling his hand in the air to give the signal to the guys. They hopped up on the stage just as the curtain came down. The Green Room was filling up, ten minutes until show-time. The waitresses were running from table to table taking drink orders. We already had our drinks, so I settled in my chair. Just before eight o’clock, the noise level had escalated as I looked around to see women everywhere. The place was mobbed; all the tables were full. Employees were trying to squeeze in extra tables wherever they could to accommodate every
one. Word must have been out about the band, because 90 percent of the people there were women talking and looking at their programs as they waited for the band to begin.

  “Is this what we’re going to have to put up with?” I asked Shelly, watching that waitress as she rushed around.

  “Looks like it; they’ve become very popular on this cruise,” she said.

  “I’m not sure I like it,” I said giving in to my insecurities.

  “Get used to it, girlfriend; your boyfriend is one hot number, and the ladies like him,” she smiled.

  “No kidding, what have I gotten myself into?” I said, cradling my head in my hands. Then the chanting started. “Jesse, Jesse, Jesse, Jesse,” they yelled and clapped their hands until I couldn’t hear myself think.

  The announcer came out with his hands up. “OK, ladies, calm down,” he said, smiling at the crowd. “I guess this band doesn’t need any further introduction,” he chuckled. “Ladies, put your hands together for Arizona Skies.” He walked off the stage. The crowd erupted into screams as the curtain went up.

  The guys were standing there waiting for their cue. Jesse was tapping his foot with his hand in the air. He started counting with his fingers. “One, two, three, four,” he yelled, turning around to strut to the front of the stage. Tonight they started with newer songs—Rixton’s “Me and My Broken Heart” and Bruno Mars’s “Locked out of Heaven.” Every time Jesse sang the word sex, all the women screamed. Jesse looked up and smiled with those dimples as he continued to sing the words to the song. Shelly and I were laughing at them as my body relaxed, and I started to enjoy the show. My sexy, hot rocker boyfriend had the crowd in the palm of his hand.

  Then the band switched to older songs by the Stones, “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” and “Get Off of My Cloud,” which had everyone on their feet dancing.

  The end of the first set was Foreigner’s “Cold as Ice” and then right into “Hot Blooded.” The floor was shaking with everyone dancing around. Jesse’s voice sounded amazing, raspy, and sexy as he pranced back and forth. The last song before their break, Jesse pulled a stool out from the wings. He sat down strumming his guitar and talking into the microphone.