by S. Cruz
“Honey, I’m so sorry. My past isn’t pretty; I already told you that. I’m not a saint; some of it I was so wasted I don’t even remember,” he said, leaning against the sink and watching me.
“How can you be happy with me? I have no experience!” I said, gasping for breath. He shook his head and folded me in his arms, stroking my wet hair.
“Honey, I’m happier with you than I’ve ever been with any other woman. It was just sex; my heart wasn’t involved. With you it’s different. Look, you wear my heart around your neck,” he said, touching my necklace. “I’ve never given any other girl a token like that.”
“Really!” I said, reaching up to touch my necklace.
“Really, honey, you’re the one I’ve been looking for. Your sweetness and innocence have captured my heart. I’ll never go back to that life again; I promise,” he said, crossing his heart as he lifted my chin to look at him.
“What about the kink?” I asked, embarrassed, but I had to know.
“If I want kink, I’ll teach you,” he smiled. I looked up into those intense green eyes. He was searching my face for my answer.
“Okaayy…” I said with a big sigh.
“Well, don’t make it sound so awful; you know I live to please you. I would never do anything you didn’t like,” he smiled, giving me a sweet kiss.
“But I want to please you too,” I said, wiping a stray tear.
“You do, honey, every day. I thank God every night when you’re wrapped in my arms that I found you. You have no idea how broken I’m going to be when I have to let you go,” he said, running his finger across my lips. He leaned down to give me another tender kiss. I wanted to hold on to him for dear life, but I knew our time was short, and I had let him go.
“Me too, it hurts so much. I feel like I can’t breathe when I think about you leaving,” I confessed, falling against his chest to listen to his heartbeat, his strong arms around me holding me tight. He kissed the top of my head.
“Can we get past this, have a nice breakfast, and spend the day together?” he asked. I nodded, taking a long, cleansing breath.
“OK, fix that beautiful face; I’ll be here waiting for you,” he said, walking out of the bathroom. I heard voices, and then my door shut as I turned on my hair dryer to try to make myself look presentable. I kept my makeup light; I’d glam it up later when I wore my new dress for tonight’s performance.
I peeked out. Jesse was sitting in the chair waiting for me, his hands clasped, with his elbows resting on his knees and his head bowed.
I’d ruined our wonderful morning together; I knew it. I curled the ends of my hair, shaking my long tresses, and then pulled back both sides to put in a hair clip. I was ready, taking a deep breath before stepping out of the bathroom. I had to redeem myself somehow; I couldn’t let him remember me in a puddle of tears.
“There’s my beautiful girl. Ready?” he asked, taking my hand. I grabbed my purse and locked the door on our way out. We strolled toward the dining room hand in hand but not saying a word. The silence between us was deafening. I had to make this right somehow. I knew I’d overreacted when Shelly blurted out about the threesome; she didn’t seem to be the least bit fazed. Maybe if I’d heard it directly from Jesse, it wouldn’t have hurt so much. Nah, it still would have hurt! I wondered what other shocking tidbits about my boyfriend Shelly had discovered. I guessed I could pick her brain on the flight back to Philly. But knowing how I reacted to this piece of information, she would probably clam up to avoid me having another meltdown.
Then I remembered that she had offered to have a threesome with me, and I started giggling. The more I thought about it, the more I giggled. My best friend/sister was a hoot, trying in the best way she knew to make up for my lack of experience. I giggled some more—gotta love her!
“What’s wrong?” Jesse asked, pulling me toward him with a concerned look in his face, only to discover that I was laughing.
“Shelly, she…” I said, holding my stomach as another fit of laughter rolled over me.
“What did her blondness do now?” he asked.
“She…she…” I giggled. “She offered to have a threesome with me,” I blurted out, laughing.
“She what?” Jesse asked.
“Yeah, she thought if we did that I wouldn’t be so devastated.”
“Why, that little rascal,” he chuckled.
“I know, right,” I said, laughing.
“Boy, Scotty better watch that one; she’s a firecracker,” he said, running his hand through his hair with a laugh.
“You have no idea,” I said, trying to compose myself.
“I’m beginning to,” he said, taking my hand in his. “Hey, don’t you go taking her up on that!”
I just burst out laughing again at his warning, almost doubling over in fits of hysteria.
“I know, the pot calling the kettle black,” he said, watching me lose it. “I know I have no right, but it would kill me to find out you were with some other man. I want you all to myself.” He stopped to caress my cheek and kiss me. I just looked up at him, not knowing what to say. I started to open my mouth, but he put his hand over it to stop whatever I was about to say.
“I know I have to set you free the day after tomorrow. But for now you’re mine, and I don’t intend to share you, ever!” he said. “What you do when you get home I can’t control, and given my track record, I don’t have any right to stop you. But believe me, I’ll never be that man again. You’ve changed me, sweetheart. You are mine, and I don’t share!” he said, giving me the greenest-eyed stare.
“I’d like to say the same thing to you,” I said.
“Honey, I’m already yours. I’ve already tested the waters and tasted the forbidden fruit, and I know you’re it for me. Listen, I realize you’re just starting to live your life. I have to let you experience what’s out there, but I hope to God you come back to me,” he said. I started to say something, but he silenced me with a kiss. “Bailey, I want you very badly, but if it’s not to be, then I’ll cherish our time together and write songs about our love. You’ve showed me the loving side of life, and I’ll be eternally grateful to you for that. I see everything in color now. You’ve changed my life in ways you can never imagine,” he said.
“You’ve changed my life too. I never expected to fall in love with a hot rock star and have the best cruise of my life. I love you, Jesse,” I said.
“I love you too,” he said, pushing through the doors to the dining hall. Everyone was already sitting at the table drinking their coffee.
“Morning,” I said tentatively to everyone.
“Morning, Bailey,” John, Keith, and Scott said in unison. Shelly just looked at me with a sad face. I looked at her and smiled; she gave me her I’m-sorry smile. Scott took her hand and kissed her knuckles as I sat down next to Jesse. I ordered coffee, listening to the chatter around the table. Everyone was pumped about tonight’s performance. I didn’t say much, just drank my coffee as our breakfast was served. I didn’t want to be a wet blanket on their fun as I tried to pull myself out of my funk.
“So, Shelly, Bailey tells me you made her quite the offer this morning!” Jesse said, winking at me.
“Oh really, what was that?” Scott asked. I started to giggle, watching her squirm in her seat. Jesse nodded his head in her direction, both of us watching her comfort level drop. Scott was looking for answers, and she had nothing to say. Imagine that, my best friend speechless!
“Nothing, just girl talk,” she smiled at Scott.
“Oh, the elusive girl talk. When my sisters get together, they giggle and whisper; they have their own lingo—who knows what the hell they’re talking about?” Scott said, smiling at her. If he only knew!
Jesse gave her the raised-eyebrows look, and she put her head down. Her face was bright red. He finally got her.
“Your friend is speechless,” Jesse said, looking at me with wiggly eyebrows, making me giggle. He leaned over for a kiss, winking at Shelly.
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sp; God, I love this man. He tackled a sticky situation head-on and turned it around so that I could laugh about it. A big sigh of relief passed over me. I gripped tightly to Jesse’s hand as I watched Scott looking confused at Jesse and then at Shelly. Jesse just shrugged and drank his coffee.
Scott surprised Shelly by pulling a little black box out from under the table and setting it in front of her. Obviously it was a ring; Scott acted nervous as he asked her to open it. She looked shocked and all the chatter at the table stopped. Scott explained that this was a promise ring as Shelly opened the box and actually cried tears of happiness. She pulled this exquisite sapphire ring out of the box. Blue was Shelly’s favorite color, so Scott has succeeded in picking the right stone for her.
Jesse told me that wasn’t his style, reminding me that my necklace was his promise to love me even when we were apart. It meant so much to me that he put so much thought into my gift. He’d confessed he’d never bought any token of love for any other woman, it just meant so much more. It was like him unique. I congratulated my friend. I was happy for her; it was obvious that Scott loved her. Our plan to meet and fall in love with cute guys had come true and since they were best friends only made it better.
Jesse
Making love to Bailey last night was epic; she never ceased to amaze me with her trust and love. I never wanted to let her down, even encouraging her to be in control. Giving up control to a woman I loved just felt right. I stood there as she put her sexy mouth on my cock, giving me such pleasure unselfishly. She was my angel, my salvation, and my future. I pulled her up and lay back on the bed to pull her on top of me. She looked down at me with those big, brown eyes, her hair framing her face like a silky, brown curtain. As her slender body hovered above mine, I had to touch her. I stroked her body, bringing her to life, inserting my fingers, and pulling her down to ride my hand. Letting her do whatever she wanted was kind of empowering as I watched her writhe on my hand, her mouth open and eyes sparkling in the moonlight. She was a vision, sexy as hell, and so damn beautiful, she took my breath away.
I let her be on top to take her pleasure until she came with a breathy moan that obliterated my self-control. I had to take control back, needing her to submit to my dominant side. I rolled her over and tucked her under me, thrusting at a much faster rate. Her slender arms were wrapped around me, encouraging me with her breathless voice as she whispered sweet words in my ear. The sounds she made when our bodies connected were like music to my ears. Every sound she made brought words of love and happiness to my mind; she was amazing. I knew I would never get my fill.
My muse without even knowing it was writing lyrics to so many songs I hadn’t even put on paper yet. I savored every moment I had with her, soaking up her sweetness and love. She gave so freely of herself, trusting me completely. I wanted to hold on to her forever, to tuck her into my suitcase and take her everywhere I went. She had claimed my heart and soul.
I came with a ferocity I had never known, growling out her name as I clutched her so tightly to my body that I was afraid I would leave marks on her skin. Sex is fantastic, but when your heart is involved, it’s a mind-blowing experience, life altering—I would be forever a changed man.
She snuggled into my arms and fell asleep as I stroked the softest skin I’d ever felt. Holding her and listening to the ocean outside our portal, I slept like a baby.
Next morning I woke to brown eyes staring at me, with the sweetest face in the whole world smiling at me. God, I fucking loved this girl, and I needed to taste her one more time before we started our day. But the gods had different ideas in the form of Goldilocks pounding on her door.
“Damn woman,” I said, pulling back the sheet to get some clothes on. I watched Bailey roll out of bed and grab for her bra and panties. Just watching her pull them on had me beyond horny. I had to satisfy my need for her just one more time, not caring if Shelly had her ear to the door and heard us. I peeled that sexy underwear off her and told Shelly to take a hike. She finally got the message and stomped off, leaving us alone so I could ravage my girl.
I knew I had to make it quick before the tiny force of nature came back and interrupted us again. But making love to her was worth all the shit I had to take from her friend.
We had no sooner stepped out of the shower than there was that knock on her door again. I wanted to get her; she was seriously pissing me off. Tucking my towel around my waist, I quietly crept up to the door and pulled it open with force. I reached out and grabbed Shelly’s arm, pulling her into the room. She was so small she flew across the room, landing on our messy bed.
Of course, she had some smart remarks as I took my clothes into the bathroom to get dressed. I could hear them talking out there, Bailey opening and closing drawers while her friend chirped at her about hearing us through the walls when we were having sex. Bailey was telling her how noisy she and Scott were when I came back into the room. I chuckled and agreed with her, knowing exactly how loud Scott could be.
The next moment I was thrown completely off kilter. I stood there holding Bailey in my arms when Shelly let the bomb drop. She blurted out how Scott and I had shared girls in the past. All the color drained from Bailey’s face as she turned to look at her friend, then back at me, and I knew I was in trouble. What the fuck just happened?
I never expected Scott to confess our sex scandals to his girlfriend. I glared at Shelly as I kissed Bailey; panic had set in as I tried to act nonchalant while my heart was racing. All I could think about was getting the fuck out of there. I ran like a coward as fast as I could out her door, hoping that by the time we met up for breakfast, she would forgive me. I couldn’t even contemplate what she must be thinking. The look on her face was not one I wanted to ever see again. I was terrified of losing her, six days was not enough! All I could think about was shutting Scott’s big mouth. I wondered what else he’d told Shelly. My head was reeling with all the messed up things we’d done through the years. I had to get a hold of him and shut him up.
I had confessed to her about being a man whore, but I never went into details. She was so innocent and didn’t need to hear the grisly details of my demented sex life. I paced my room, not knowing what I was going to say to her when I saw her, or if I’d ever see her again. My phone rang, and Bailey’s name showed up on my screen.
“Bailey?” I said, afraid of what she would say to me.
“Jesse, it’s Shelly. I’m sorry; I wasn’t thinking.”
“Shelly, you have a big fucking mouth. If you’ve fucked this up for Bailey and me, I’ll never forgive you. Hell, I’ll write a mean song about you!”
“Jesse, she’s crying in the bathroom and won’t come out. You need to come; I’m worried about her,” she said.
“Fuck! God damn it, Shelly, this is on you. I’ll be right there.” I threw my phone on the bed and ran out of my room.
“Hey, man, what’s the hurry?” Scott said, sauntering my way with a big smile.
“I’m fucking pissed at you!” I yelled, running past him.
“What did I do?” he asked, looking confused.
“You and your big fucking mouth,” I yelled, taking the corner on a run. I couldn’t deal with him right now.
I knocked on Bailey’s door. Shelly opened it, and I pushed past her.
“This is your entire fault,” I said, pointing my finger in her face.
“Hey, I didn’t know you were keeping secrets from her,” she said.
“I wasn’t, but some things are best left as secrets,” I growled at her as I listened at the bathroom door. I heard her crying and knocked. “Bailey, honey, please open the door,” I pleaded. Her crying broke my heart; I felt so helpless knowing I was the cause of her unhappiness. “Bailey, let me in.” I tried the knob; it opened slightly, but there was resistance. I figured she must be leaning against it.
“Go away; I don’t want to see you,” she said, pushing the door shut. Somehow I had to get in there and make this all right. I couldn’t lose her now. I pushed against t
he door, but it wouldn’t budge. Her sobs were so close; I knew she was on the other side. I pleaded with her for a long time, but she only cried harder. I wasn’t going anywhere; her crying was fucking killing me. She said she didn’t want to see me, but that wasn’t going to happen.
“Shit,” I said, looking at Shelly. “If I lose her…” I started to say.
“I can’t help it if Scott’s honest with me; you should try that sometime,” she said, pacing the floor.
“I’ve got to make this right,” I said, trying to figure out how to handle this situation. I decided to try a different tactic. I felt bad but I had to get in there, so I decided to startle her. I pounded very hard on the door and yelled in my deepest voice, “Bailey, you open this damn door right now!”
It worked, I felt the door move a little, and the crying stopped. I listened to rustling inside the bathroom and figured she must have gotten up, so I pushed the door open before she had a chance to lock it. Bursting into the room, I pulled her into my chest and held her tight while she sobbed. This was not ending!
Her face was soaked with tears. I lifted her chin to see her lip quivering and the saddest brown eyes I’d ever seen.
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry,” I said, kissing her face. Her lip continued to tremble as tears fell from those incredible eyes.
“Is she all right?” Shelly yelled. I kicked the door closed, wanting this to be just between Bailey and me. I held her face to my chest while she cried, soaking my T-shirt. She didn’t fight me as I stroked her back, trying to find the words to make up for her heartbreak.
“Shhh…sweetheart. Please don’t cry anymore; you’re so damn precious to me,” I said, lifting her chin to look at me. She blinked a few times but didn’t look away. I tenderly kissed her and tried to smile, trying to reassure her I was no longer that man. I had broken her heart, and in turn, it broke my heart to see her that way.