by Coe Booth
“All he want back is Troy, not me. He told me that last night.” Regg don’t say nothing so I go, “All I need is to stay with you a couple nights.”
“Look, Ty. It ain’t safe for you at my place. That little weed business Andre running ain’t shit compared to what I got going on, and I don’t want you getting mixed up in it.”
I sit there holding the cell, trying not to hear what Regg telling me.
“Call your pops,” Regg say. “Call him and tell him you wanna come home. Y’all need to find a way to live together again. Y’all used to get along good, the two of you, and not all that long ago neither. Call him, Ty, and go home.”
I just wanna get off this phone. “Talk to you later, Regg,” I say.
I hang up before I hafta listen to any more of his bullshit.
Ms. Thomas said she was gonna stop by my moms and pops apartment ’round six o’clock, so I go by there a couple minutes early so she would think I live there. My moms is at the agency for her parenting class, so it’s just me and my pops again. He put the TV on and we sit there watching the news. I ain’t sure what the point of this is, really. How long I’m s’posed to act like I live here? Just ’til they get Troy back?
My pops kinda in a good mood though, and I’m thinking ’bout what Regg said ’bout talking to him ’bout me coming home for real, but the way he was talking last night, I don’t know. Is that the way he really feel, or is that just the way he feel when he high?
I wanna talk to Jasmine, tell her ’bout all the shit going on at Cal and them apartment, and find out what she think I should do. But since I stopped by her job on Monday, I texted her twice and I still ain’t heard back from her.
And I ain’t gonna lie. Since I got with her last week, I been thinkin’ ’bout her a lot, ’specially at night. But still, I don’t wanna be chasing her down like some chump that can’t get no other females. Jasmine know my cell number. She could call me too.
The whole thing is frustrating as hell.
The caseworker finally get there ’bout ten minutes late. My pops start right in on her. “I like the way you got your hair,” he say. “It wasn’t like that yesterday, was it?”
She smile. “It’s a little different,” she say. “You notice everything.”
My pops nod. “Everything.” He look at her for another couple seconds, then go, “Let me show you the apartment.”
I follow them as they go from one room to the other. I can tell my pops smooth act getting to her ’cause she smiling more than I ever seen her smile before. Matter of fact, Ms. Thomas ain’t really a smiling kinda person, you ask me.
But she don’t let my pops keep her from doing her job. She check all the window guards in the apartment, like Troy stupid enough to fall out a open window, and she make sure all the fire detectors work. Then she check the refrigerator and the cabinets to see that we got food in the apartment. The whole thing don’t take all that long, and when she done, she say, “Everything looks really wonderful, Mr. Green.”
“Wonderful enough that Troy could visit us?”
“Well.” She still smiling. “I’ll recommend a short visit this Saturday. How does nine until noon work for you? Will you and your wife be home then?”
“They gonna be here,” I say for him. And, yeah, I’m probably smiling now my own self. I ain’t think she was gonna let Troy come visit this fast.
My pops tell her they gonna be home, and she say she gonna bring Troy herself on Saturday. “He’s going to be so happy,” she say.
“Yes, he is,” my pops say. “Especially when he see his new room.”
Since I got Ms. Thomas right there, and since everybody in such a good mood, I’m like, this my chance to bring up the problem with Troy new foster mother. So before she leave, I say, “Ms. Thomas, can I ask you a question?”
She stop by the door and say, “Sure, anything, Tyrell.”
“I wanted to find out, like, if there was a way you could do something to change the home where Troy at. ’Cause he ain’t happy there and now Ms. Woods, she wanna take Troy out his school, and he was getting mainstreamed, or whatever they call it, out of the special ed classes, and now I don’t know if that’s gonna keep happening at the new school, and he don’t got no friends there.” I spit all that out at one time ’cause I want her to get it, that she gotta do something for Troy. That this is serious.
Ms. Thomas look kinda surprised. “I didn’t know anything about that. Let me look into it and see if there’s anything I can do.”
My pops clear his throat. “Ty, don’t bother Ms. Thomas with all this right now. She a busy woman.”
But I ignore him. What Ms. Thomas so busy doing? This her job. “You remember Troy first foster mother, Ms. Reed? I been trying to call her to see if she could take him back now that summer almost over. ’Cause she treated him real good and Ms. Woods ain’t all that nice to him.”
“You shouldn’t call the foster parents, Tyrell. It’s not the way we do things.”
“I know, but she didn’t mind when I called her when Troy was living with her. And if he could go back with her, he could stay in his school.”
“Like I said, I’ll see what I can do. No promises though.”
My pops walk her out to the elevator, and I stay inside trying to figure out if she really gonna try and help Troy or not. I hope she do ’cause Troy could use a break. Least he gonna get to come and visit us this week. That’s a good thing.
My pops come back inside and slam the door behind him. Hard. I look up at him. “What?”
The words is hardly out my mouth when my pops push me against the wall and get in my face. “Did I ask you to talk to that bitch ’bout Troy foster mother? Who told you you had to do that?”
I’m looking at him, and his eyes is locked on mines and he so mad. Like he just went from zero to sixty in a second. “What you …? I’m trying to help Troy,” I say and try and get away from him, but he so close to me with his arm holding me in place, that I can’t move.
“Who Troy father, me or you?”
“You,” I say.
“Then let me take care of his situation. You seen how I had that bitch right where I wanted her, then you had to fuck everything up.”
“I—”
“Stay the fuck outta it, Ty. I got this.” He let me go.
I grab my backpack up off the couch and head straight for the door. I got nothing more to say to this man. I swear.
I open the door and he go, “Tomorrow. I’ll pick you up at nine.”
Shit. I forgot ’bout his stupid party.
The door close behind me and I’m in the hall waiting for the elevator, pissed. What the fuck is wrong with him? Ever since he got out, something real off ’bout the man. Damn, and I was thinkin’ ’bout asking him if I could come stay with them for a while. That woulda been so stupid if I did that. Crazy stupid.
I wish I coulda just told him to go fuck hisself ’bout the party, but I need the cash. ’Cause after tomorrow, I’ma hafta find another place to live.
THIRTY-SEVEN
It’s been a long fucking day, and I ain’t feeling like standing outside with Cal again tonight, ’specially not after the way he only half had my back with Andre this morning. But still, I stand there with him for a while.
“What’s up with you?” Cal ask.
“Just pissed off,” I tell him. “And tired.”
“Me and you both.”
I must just wanna talk, ’cause in between customers I tell Cal ’bout how my pops just turned on me and how crazy he was acting. “He think that just ’cause he ready to start actin’ like a father again, I’m s’posed to stop looking out for Troy. When I was more a father to that kid for the last year than he was. Why I gotta be the one to step aside for?”
“You don’t,” Cal say.
“Damn straight, I don’t.” Talking ’bout this make me more mad. “And you know what’s gonna happen, right? The second I let him start actin’ like a father again, and Troy start thinking his pop
s is back, his ass gonna get locked up. How I’m s’posed to let Troy go through that again?”
Cal quiet.
My brain just keep going though, thinking ’bout how close I got to asking him if I could move in with them for real. “I don’t know what I’ma do,” I tell Cal, walking back and forth in front of the lobby door, which ain’t really doing nothing to calm me down none. “I know Andre said the next time he come ’round, he don’t wanna see me, but … where I’m s’posed to go?”
Cal just shake his head, like maybe he don’t care or something.
“Why you being like that?” I ask him.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, like—”
“You just paranoid, Ty. You high again?”
“I ain’t high and I ain’t paranoid. I’m tired of everybody fucking with me. And now you too?”
Cal stare at me like I’m being stupid. And it’s pissing me off more than everything else.
“Cal, I ain’t standing out here with you so you can … I’m hanging with you, right? I’m being your boy. But you—”
“Ty,” Cal say, and his voice come out real tired. Tired and old. “Go home. Just go home.”
First Andre, then Regg, then my pops, and now Cal turning on me too. Shit is fucked up. “What you saying?”
“I’m saying go home. You got a place to go. You got a moms and a pops. You don’t gotta—”
“A’ight,” I say. “Be like that.”
Cal sigh. “You being stupid, Ty. You know that.”
“I’m stupid?”
“Why you here, Ty? You don’t need to put up with none of this shit. I gotta be here. I gotta do this. You don’t.”
Fuck. Cal actually throwing me out.
“Look, Ty. I know your pops kinda hard and shit, but—”
“He ain’t hard, he outta control.”
“Okay, a’ight, I get that, Ty. But he right. And you know that. He the one s’posed to be looking out for Troy now that he back. You don’t gotta do that no more, not like you used to. You gotta let all that go now.”
I shake my head. I can’t believe the shit coming out Cal mouth.
“Ty, you acting like Andre, man. Like you own Troy or something just ’cause he your little brother. It ain’t right when Andre do that shit to me and it ain’t right when you do it to Troy. You know that.”
I’m tired of listening to him. Here I am, talking to my friend, telling him ’bout shit that’s getting to me, and he gotta turn it ’round and make it ’bout him. That’s some fucked-up shit. I’m standing out here, trying to look out for his ass and what he doing? Telling me I’m like fuckin’ Andre.
I pick up my backpack off the ground and tell Cal I’ma go to sleep. “Last time I’ma stand here with you,” I tell him. “I’m helping my pops at his party tomorrow night, and after that, I don’t know, man. I’ma hafta find some other place to stay or something.”
Cal lean against the pillar and kinda nod and go, “Okay.”
“A’ight,” I say back, and that’s it. The seven months we been living together like brothers is through. Time for me to move on.
Even though I’m pissed at Cal right ’bout now, I can’t lie, I’m still feeling like shit for leaving him out here by hisself when his ribs is still broke and he still walking ’round all fucked up and shit. But he gonna hafta get used to working alone again.
No matter what he say, I got my own brother to look out for now. My real brother.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 22
THIRTY-EIGHT
I don’t wake up ’til after eleven, and even then I’m still tired. I go out to the kitchen to grab something to eat and I don’t see Cal ’round. He probably still ’sleep. But it’s good I don’t hafta deal with him right now. I still can’t believe the way he was acting last night. He don’t know shit ’bout what’s going on between me and my pops. How he gonna tell me what to do?
I’m still sitting there eating and thinking ’bout my pops party tonight, which I don’t even feel like playing, when Cal come out his room. He musta been up a while ’cause he dressed already. He don’t come into the kitchen or nothing, but he stand in the hall by the door and I’m like, what? He want me to talk to him or something? But he don’t. He just say to me, “I’ma go out. I need to get something over on Willis Avenue.”
This the first time he leaving Bronxwood since he got beat up. I don’t know why he gotta go so far when he still in pain and still taking them pills, but what I’m s’posed to do ’bout it?
“You gonna be here later?” he ask me.
I don’t get why he even trying to talk to me. “Nah.” I don’t even look up when I say this. I ain’t one to let shit go easy.
“Okay.” He stand there a second, like he waiting for me to say something, which I don’t, so he just leave out the apartment.
He gone ’bout fifteen, twenty minutes when my cell ring. It’s Jasmine.
“Ty,” she say. “I stood home from work today. Emiliano’s at work. Come over.” She talking all fast and shit.
I ain’t gonna lie. This girl confusing the hell outta me. One day she ignore me and then don’t call me for the rest of the week. Now she sound like she desperate for me or something.
“I’ma be over there,” I tell her.
And I don’t waste no time getting my ass in the shower.
I get off the train on Grand Concourse, and while I’m walking to Jasmine building, I’m feeling real good that she called me and wanted me to come over. I missed her, talking to her, being with her. The closer I get to her building, the more I wanna see her and the more I know she my girl.
The second I get upstairs in Jasmine apartment and see her in a tank top and these little shorts that only just hardly cover her ass, it’s all I can do to hold myself back. I put my arms ’round her waist and don’t give her a chance to say nothing. I just start kissing her, my tongue all deep in her mouth, and I could probably do this for a while, just kiss her and know me and her is connected. It’s like I’m finally feeling it with her, for the first time. This ain’t just ’bout getting sex from her. It’s ’bout knowing she mines. And she is.
We don’t even make it to her bedroom. We standing right in the living room, taking each other clothes off and kissing and laughing. This girl so hot, damn, why wasn’t I with her all this time? Next thing I know, me and her is on the floor and I’m getting them light blue panties off her. My jeans is on the floor halfway under us and I’m going through the pockets real fast, trying to find the condoms I stuck in there before I left my place. I need this girl now.
When I get inside her, I ain’t gonna lie, it’s just as good as the first time. Nah, it’s better, ’cause now I’m feeling the same for her that she feel for me.
“I love you,” Jasmine whisper. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I say. And it’s true. I do. This is the best feeling I ever had, the first time I’m ever doing this with a girl I love. And who love me back. The last girl I loved was Novisha and she never gave it up to me. Now that I’m with Jasmine, I ain’t sure Novisha really loved me the way I loved her.
Me and Jasmine is connected one hundred percent. That’s how tight we are. This what I been looking for.
Like a hour later, me and her is eating Bagel Bites at the kitchen table. I got my jeans back on, but all Jasmine wearing is her T-shirt and panties and she look so pretty and sexy. Even though I’m wore out from her, I can’t even keep my hands to myself ’round her.
I put one hand on the side of her face and the other on her thigh and tell her, “What I said, you know, ’bout loving you. I was serious. I don’t say nothing like that ’less I mean it. You?”
She look me in the eye. “Me too.”
We kiss. “I been thinkin’ ’bout you a lot,” I say. “’Bout us. And what we got going here. You think me and you—?”
“I want us to be together, Ty. You want that too?”
“Yeah. For real.” I lean over and kiss her again, and when I
pull my lips away, she smiling. Damn, she beautiful.
I get up and take her hand and walk her to her room. Now that we official, I wanna get with her again. And we gonna need to be on a bed for what I’ma do to her.
THIRTY-NINE
“You think everything is gonna be different now, because we together?” Jasmine ask me.
It’s almost five o’clock, and me and her is laying in bed, still naked. “Yeah. I hope everything gonna be better,” I say.
Jasmine laying on her side, facing me, looking so goddamn beautiful, I can’t stop touching her, running my hand up and down the side of her body, her waist and her hips and her legs. All of this is mines.
“I mean, we were friends for a long time, Ty. I don’t want to mess that up.”
“No matter what happen, me and you always gonna be friends. Don’t worry ’bout that.” I lean over and kiss her.
“You decide what you gonna do? I mean, about school?”
I ain’t thought ’bout it, but right now, knowing me and her is gonna be together and I’ma get to see her every day, maybe I will go back. “Yeah,” I say. “I’ma be there.”
She smile. “Good.”
We kiss again. Then I ask Jasmine if she really liked her Sweet Sixteen party.
“I loved it!” she say. “Everything came out perfect, especially your music. Everybody had so much fun dancing!” She laugh. “The only thing that bothered me was Reyna. I don’t get why she just came and then left so fast. She didn’t even dance to one song. And she loves to dance.”
“You know what happened,” I tell her. “While you was opening your presents, her and Emiliano started talking.”
“They did?”
“Yeah. Then they went in that little room, but only for, like, a couple minutes, like, three, four minutes. Then, after that, she left real fast.”
“I didn’t even see that. I can’t even think of anything they had to talk about.”
I shrug. The whole thing was kinda weird, but Jasmine don’t need to spend no more time worrying ’bout Reyna when it should be the other way ’round. “C’mon, Jasmine. Don’t start stressing ’bout this.” I pull her closer to me and wrap my arms ’round her. I ain’t gonna lie. I ain’t looking for this day to end.