by Joanna Blake
I was known for my massive unit. And at the moment it was hard as a damn rocket. In fact, the guys in basic had called me Torpedo after seeing me in the showers. The nickname had stuck with me as I climbed the ranks, though I tried to discourage it.
Tabby ran off to get my lunch and pills ready and I was able to cover my hard on with a blanket. I was wondering if she would massage me again. I hoped so, even if it was excruciating.
Maybe if I was lucky, she'd let me give her a massage.
I closed my eyes and let myself imagine that.
Tabby
Gabe was dozing on the couch when I came down with his tray. I chewed my lip, not sure if I should wake him. I would love it if he slept all damn day and stopped trying to charm me.
Despite my best efforts, it was working.
I'd even let him kiss me. I had no idea what had come over me. It was irresponsible to say the least. And bad, bad, bad.
Stupid and dangerous and bad.
I sighed. He needed his meds. I nudged his shoulder lightly.
"Are you asleep?"
He shook his head and cracked an eye at me.
"Just daydreaming."
"About what?"
He grinned at me and I had a sudden urge to disappear. I knew what that smile said. It said he'd been daydreaming about me. And it made me feel all warm and goosebumpy all over.
I shook my head, trying to be cool.
"Why did I ask?"
"It's obvious."
"Oh, it is, is it?"
"You're curious about the inner thoughts of such a strong, manly... man."
I laughed. I couldn't help it. He was so funny. And he was flirting with me.
I wasn't used to this kind of flirting. Usually guys just commented on the way I looked. But this was different. Sweeter. I didn't know what to make of it.
That was a lie. I liked it. I liked it a lot.
For the first time in my life, a man was flirting with me. The right way. No grabbing or suggestive comments. Just... making me feel appreciated.
Making me laugh.
Either way though, I didn't have time for an entanglement. I had to work. And this was a job, no matter how ridiculously charming he was being.
He sat up and patted the couch beside him.
"Sit with me."
"No, Gabe."
"Why not?"
"You can't kiss me again."
"Why not?"
I sighed heavily. He was being way too persistent. He reminded me of a child. Oddly enough I found it endearing.
Annoying, but endearing.
And really only annoying because I was having trouble ignoring him.
I put on my best nurse voice. Also known as my Sunday school voice. Though I'd never taught Sunday school.
"I'm working."
He smiled.
"Oh that. Well, what are you doing later?"
"Working."
"Are you waiting tables tonight?"
I sighed.
"No. Today I work until five."
"So, I will start kissing you at 5:03.”
I laughed again. But I shook my head.
"Gabe, be serious. You're cute but don't bother."
He perked up like a puppy hearing a can opener.
"I'm cute?"
"No! I mean, I just meant- oh, never mind."
He batted his eyelashes at me. I had to get out of here. If I stayed around him I was going to cave. As much as I needed the money, I needed to not get my soul crushed more.
And I had a feeling that Gabe could crush me. Without even trying.
My eyes watered suddenly.
Oh no. Please, please, please do not start weeping here.
For someone who never cried, I was turning into a damn sprinkler.
"You should eat. You were supposed to take your meds five minutes ago."
He smiled at me, raising his eyebrows.
"You are so strict. I can handle that though."
I bit my lip to stop myself from asking him what he meant. I shouldn't have worried though. He picked up his sandwich and took a bite. Then he kept talking.
"The military trained me to withstand all sorts of adverse conditions."
"Is that so?"
He ate one of the celery spears I'd cut up and put on the plate instead of chips. I was going to get him healthy. He seemed to like the food I made him, thankfully.
Oh, but he wasn't done yet.
“Freezing temperatures. Sleet. Snow. Rain. Hunger. Hard-hearted women."
My mouth opened. His words were light but he was staring at me with a serious look in his eyes. Like he could see right through me.
"So go ahead. Dish it out woman. I was born to suffer."
That sounded like... a promise.
"Hell, if it's you doing the torturing, I might even enjoy it."
I stood there, frozen to the spot. I was a deer in headlights in front of his high beams. Just waiting for him to make me another trophy.
I shook myself mentally. Reminded myself that I was no one's trophy. I was a person, not a challenge. Even though I was enjoying his attention, it would not end well for me if I gave in.
When I gave in, unless I put some space between the two of us.
"Here are your meds. Then I think you should lie down for a nap."
He took his pills obediently.
"Will you rub my back again?"
I inhaled at the suggestive look in his eyes. Suggestive, but not crude. It made me feel... warm inside.
"Not today."
He grinned at me.
"Can I rub you?"
I stood up straight and stepped back.
"That's not funny, Gabe."
"I'm not joking. You work so hard, I thought you could use it."
I stared at him, my mouth open like a fish. How was I supposed to answer that? I probably did need a back rub. To be honest, I didn't think I'd ever had one. I wondered what it would be like, having someone put their energy and care into you. Taking the time to really make me feel nice.
I didn't know. And now was not the time to find out.
I left him alone to finish his sandwich. One thing I knew for sure, I had to keep my wits about me. This was a dangerous situation, not to mention unprofessional.
I wanted to be a nurse, dammit. It was an important job. It meant something.
And that meant keeping my distance from my way too adorable patient.
Gabe
I groaned with effort as I took another step. My arms were straining from holding myself up on the bars. I put a tiny bit of weight on my injured leg with each step. It was harder than it looked, walking without really walking.
My other leg was even getting tired from doing most of the work.
I had been eager to start physical therapy. I'd thought it would be a cakewalk for a tough guy like me.
I was wrong.
I felt like I was back in basic, eating dirt with my SO's foot on my back while I did pushups.
"Take a quick breather."
My physical therapist Danny was on the other side of the rail, guiding me along. I bent my leg, leaning on the bars. I realized I was sweating, like I'd just lifted or gone for a run. That was a good reminder of why I was here.
To walk again. To run. To be able to lift a woman up in my arms.
Not just any woman either.
One in particular.
"Your girlfriend is here."
I looked up, my eyes seeking her out immediately. It was weird but Tabby looked different in here. Nervous. Like she didn't think she belonged.
I still drank her up like a cold glass of water on a hot day.
She'd been avoiding me all week. Which was challenging considering she'd been at my house for eight hours a day. But somehow she managed it.
First, there was the cleaning. She'd spent hours with her non-toxic sprays and polishes. She'd even vacuumed. Twice.
The woman had cleaned the whole damn house instead of sitting and talking to me.
Nursing books. Paperbacks. Magazines.
The girl would bring me my food and pills, ask me how I was feeling and then sit her fine ass down as far away as possible to bury her head in a book. And she'd stay that way until her timer went off and it was time to tend to me again.
I felt like a Goddamn houseplant.
I didn't like it.
I didn't fucking like it at all.
Tabitha was shutting me out completely. And she was doing a damn good job of it. I tried not to be mad. I knew why she was doing it. She was afraid I would kiss her again. Not because she didn't like it.
Because she did.
She liked me and she was too chickenshit to admit it.
And that did make me mad.
She set her bag down on a chair by the door and shrugged out of her coat. I noticed how adorable she looked in her oversized black top. This one was more of a sweater than her usual button down, and it clung to her chest. She tugged it away from her body but static cling brought it right back.
I said a small hallelujah for static cling as I let my eyes wander over her body.
That long top of hers even hugged her tiny waist and round ass. As usual, her long curvy legs were encased in those worn-in jeans. Her cheeks were a dusky pink from the cold air outside. I stared at her hungrily, wanting to toss her over my shoulder and carry her to the closest bed.
She probably thought the loose top made her blend in, or hid her curves.
She was wrong.
I could see more of her than I ever had before. And I liked it. My cock did too.
He made his feelings known with a distinct twitch.
"You're late."
She flinched, looking like a beat dog. I hated that. I wanted her to roll her eyes at me and give me some sass. I was starting to realize that there were three Tabby's: the tough one, the weary one, and the real one. Today, she was too weary to be tough and too scared to be real.
I wanted the real one, dammit. The Tabby who melted into my arms when I'd kissed her at the beach. The one who noticed who I sat with and cared what I ate.
"My car broke down."
I took another step. If I could walk, I could get a job. Get my own place.
Get the girl.
"Is it okay?"
She bit her lip, her eyes on my feet.
"Your car. Is it okay?"
"Not really."
"How did you get here then?"
"The bus. Excuse me a minute."
She hurried away, obviously not in the mood to talk. I frowned. The recovery center was almost an hour away in a car. If she'd taken the bus it would have taken two hours, even with her being late.
So, she'd known her car was broken down this morning and still not called me to ask for a ride. That was just stupid. I knew it was her pride, as usual.
Her Goddamn pride was ruining everything.
I grunted as I turned around to go back the other way.
"Had enough?"
"No."
Danny let out a low whistle.
"Damn, dude. Your girlfriend's hot."
I gave Danny a look.
"She's not my girlfriend. She's my aid."
He shook his head.
"That's too bad, man. She's mega fine."
I agreed with him, but I didn't want to talk about her like a piece of meat.
"So if she's not your girlfriend does that mean I can ask her out?"
"No."
He chuckled at my vehemence.
"Ah- I knew it. You do like her! I don't blame you man."
"Just leave her alone, she's working."
I took another step, realizing I'd made the return trip in half the time. I collapsed into the chair with Danny's help. My legs were fucking shaking like jello.
"You did good, man. You were really motoring on the way back."
I nodded. He didn't realize how much he'd pissed me off. I understood why Tabby tried to cover herself up. It must suck to have every guy commenting on her looks, or worse.
I cringed to think about how Pete had touched her while she was working. I wondered how often that kind of stuff went down.
That's why she was being so damn skittish with me. Why she was fighting this thing between us. Because of all the other idiots in the world who couldn't see past her looks.
I wasn't sure which made things worse; her insanely sexy body or her model beautiful face. It was all distracting to guys, who never stopped to think that she was a person with feelings, not just an object of lust.
Tabby came back in and I felt the air change. She did that, just by walking into the room. Everything was brighter. Everything was better.
"Okay, I'm supposed to show you his daily exercises and how to rub him down after."
She nodded and crossed her arms, not coming any closer. Danny was too stupid to notice her defensive posture. Arms protectively over her chest, her stunning eyes wary. Something twisted inside me and cracked open.
I wanted to hold her. Protect her. Love her until she opened up like a flower.
But I couldn't. Not until I was out of this damn chair.
And the world kept turning...
I forced myself to focus as Danny wheeled me over to the exercise bench. I clenched my jaw. I could do this.
"I'm Danny."
"Tabitha."
"Great, let's get started."
Tabby
"Okay, so you start at the knee. The magnesium oil goes on first, then the castor oil. The vitamin E is good for healing. After you rub it in you can wrap a heating pad over it. Use a hand towel or an old t-shirt under it. See?"
I watched as the physical therapist moved his fingers on Gabe's bare leg. His thigh was still muscular, with creamy skin that was edged in pink ridges where his wound had been. I ignored the fluttery feelings I got from looking at his naked flesh and focused.
I could see that the scar tissue was getting thicker. That was good. He was getting better.
Now he just had to strengthen the muscles without jarring the tendons or ligaments. He could walk again, though he'd probably need a cane. At least, I hoped he would.
"Here are some diagrams with the exercises in case you need reminders."
I took them numbly, feeling like a jerk. It felt wrong to pretend I was sticking around. I wasn't going to be the one helping Gabe with any of this. He needed me and I was about to bail on him.
I was a coward. I knew it. But I was also a pragmatist.
And I needed to protect myself from him.
From all of this.
"Okay, that's it. Good job, man."
"Thanks Danny."
The therapist smiled at me.
"I'll see you both next week."
I grabbed my coat and bag, not bothering to correct him. Hopefully by next week they'd have a new aid. Maybe a real nurse.
Not a dropout like me.
"Where are you going?"
I stared at Gabe.
"To catch the bus."
"Don't be ridiculous. I drove here."
I shifted my bag on my shoulder. I didn't want to be in a long car ride with Gabe. It would be impossible to avoid him.
"I thought your mom was here."
He grinned.
"I can drive. It's my left leg that's messed up, remember? I just need help getting the chair in and out."
I bit my lip. He was being friendly. He hadn't seemed all that happy to see me when I walked in late.
"Come on, Tabby. I'm not taking no for an answer."
I followed him down the hallway to the elevator. We rode down in silence. I had to be at Garrity's in an hour and a half. I really didn't have time to catch the bus.
I sighed and helped him put the chair in the back of the car.
"How did you manage when you got here?"
"Danny knew to come out and get me set up."
"Your mom is really amazing."
I meant that. She was a really cool lady. She'd always been nice
to me. And she was taking amazing care of Gabe.
Of course, it wasn't just his mother. Any woman alive would bend over backwards to help him. He was so charming and handsome and manly and...
Shut up Tabby.
I stared straight ahead while Gabe tried to make small talk. I gave him one word answers and checked my phone. I didn't want to be rude, but I did want to discourage him.
Plus, I knew he would be annoyed when I told him what I'd done. Not just annoyed. Pissed off. Being a coward, I waited until he pulled into town and drove right to my street.
Which was pretty weird considering I'd never told him where I lived.
"Sorry if Danny was overly friendly."
I gave him a startled look. I hadn't realized he'd noticed. The PT guy had been flirting with me the whole time.
"I'll tell him to chill for next week."
"Don't bother." I bit my lip. "You are just going to have to teach someone else anyway."
Gabe gave me a sharp look. The SUV wasn't small, but suddenly I felt like there was no air in the space. He was a big guy and he felt close.
Too close.
"What?"
I exhaled, hoping he wouldn't freak.
"I put in my notice."
His eyes got wide and he cursed.
"Why Tabby?"
I looked away, not answering him. He grabbed my shoulders and turned me towards him. His eyes searched my face.
"Because I kissed you? That's fucking bullshit."
I pulled back and shook my head.
"I don't have time for this- for any of this."
His eyes narrowed and he reached for me again, taking my hands.
"Don't. I have to go... I have to go to work. I'm going to pick up some extra shifts."
He stared at me, a muscle ticking in his jaw. He didn't let go of my hands though. He squeezed them. Hard.
"You'd rather sling drinks and wings for guys who would treat you like a piece of meat?"
My mouth opened but no words came out.
"I wouldn't do that to you, Tabby. I fucking respect you."
He looked furious. I didn't know what to say. I shook my head as if to clear it. I realized he was squeezing my hands so hard the fingertips were turning white.
"I'll stay on until they find someone new. It's not like I was going to be here much longer anyway."