by Jenna Bernel
"Why Alec? You've never shown interest in anyone else at school, and he somehow breaks down your walls within a week. Why? Why him?" Evan asked in a strained voice. I could tell this must have been weighing heavily on him. I wasn't sure if it was because he simply couldn't understand it, or if he were actually jealous.
"What walls?" I countered, trying to avoid the real question.
"Dani, come on. Don't play dumb with me. I have them too, and we both have our reasons. I just thought, I didn't know you were open to..."
"It's not that," I said, cutting him off. Maybe it wasn’t in my head. But I knew I couldn't answer the question he was formulating, especially when my stomach would not stop swirling with butterflies. I hated that feeling; it reminded me of Alec. And I hated Alec even more for ruining it for me.
"I don't have a good explanation for why I liked Alec. We share a lot in common is all," I said, shrugging it off.
"More than we do?" Evan asked, surprised, since the basis of our friendship began with our mutual interests and backgrounds; and he couldn't imagine Alec being anything like him.
I couldn't tell Evan how much I prized being myself, my complete self, around Alec. Nor could I tell him that I felt hypnotized every time I looked at him. Or that I could talk to him about things only vampires could hear. And I certainly couldn’t tell him that when Alec kissed me, everything else in the world just melted away.
"It's just different,” I replied. “There's more to him than you'd expect too. Like I said, I can't really explain it, and it doesn't matter anymore because it's over," I stated, pushing around the food on my plate.
"No kidding? Harper made sure to mention about a dozen times at lunch that she was going to Homecoming with him. I swear, that guy is just trying to tick me off for sheer sport now. Too bad I could care less who Harper tortures from here on out. I don't think I'll ever understand what you saw in him, and I'm glad you kicked him to the curb," Evan said, a little too smugly. His words instantly evaporated the tension between us, however, and he sounded much more like my overprotective friend again.
I glared at him, "I could say the same thing to you about Harper. Oh, yeah, and Bailey, and Tanya, and Mara, and..."
"Okay, okay, you're right; point taken. Please save me from another horrible mistake and be my date for Homecoming," Evan said as he bumped his shoulder with mine. It felt like we were back on our old, familiar, platonic path, easy and comfortable with one another, like always.
"Sure, why not?" I said, bumping his shoulder back.
"We'll make Dale pick us up in his limo; the one that he worked so hard for," Evan joked, and I laughed.
"I can't wait to hear what he ended up having to do to earn it," I said through my laughter, and it felt really good. No one but Conner had the ability to do that for me lately. I only hoped it would also act to temporarily keep the growing darkness at bay.
Chapter 6: Reality of a Dream
I felt the cool water lapping over my knees as steady tears streamed down my cheeks. The gauzy material of my dress pooled around me in the water, weighing me down. Then suddenly, the sea calmed, and I felt his presence. He was nearby. The waves in the ocean subsided to an eerie stillness, until it became a flat, glassy surface that the sun’s rays danced on like diamonds. I could almost see his reflection mirrored in the deep blue water as it shimmered in the light, but my vision was too blurred to make anything out. I stared harder, trying desperately to see his face, when someone popped up behind me, dissolving the outline previously surfacing. Even in the fuzzy reflection, I could tell it wasn't Alec (as I hoped), now peering over me in the glassy water.
Again, as he always did in my dream, my maker clasped his cold fingers gently onto my shoulders as he calmly said, "It's going to be okay." This time, however, in the blurry reflection, I could make out the thin line of his reassuring smile. I closed my eyes and sat back on my heels as I rested my hand on his, which still clasped my shoulder. I shook silently from the tears that wouldn't stop, and grasped his hand tighter, wishing he'd make the pain go away.
"Shhh… it's all right…" he whispered soothingly, like I was a fragile, frightened child, before gently kissing the top of my head.
My eyes flew open, thinking I would now be awake, but all I saw was the expanse of still water shining before me. This part of the dream was all new. I had never heard my maker say anything except his usual sentiment before. I kept waiting to snap out of it and wake up, but I felt like I had a choice as to when to do so; and right then, I wanted to be there. I was still waiting for something, or someone.
I dropped my hand that rested on top of his, and he removed his cold fingers from my shoulders. I swallowed, my heart pounding in my chest, emphasizing how real this all felt. I slowly stood up from my knees. My soaked dress clung to me as I began to turn and face my maker for the first time. Would he be a faceless vampire? Or just a mere figment of my imagination?
Before I could fully rotate to face him, a splashing sound from the sea distracted me, and I spun around. Alec? I whispered under my breath in disbelief, astonished to find him emerging from the water. He was standing in the ocean, waist-deep, and his wet hair gleamed in the sun. There was a distinct look of worry plastered on his face as he began to walk toward me.
My heart sang at the sight of him, and my insides burst alive with heat. I felt no pain or resentment, only need, a desperate, heart-wrenching need. I began to run toward him, splashing the water in my path. It rained down on me like glitter. He met my stride, holding out his arms, and I leapt into them without hesitation. He held me against him, crushing his lips to mine, and I entangled my fingers in his golden hair, twisting into the curve of his mouth with uninhibited passion.
My insides instantly melted with desire, and my skin felt like exploding fireworks, as the heat between us built into an inferno. My stomach filled with flutters when his hands grazed up my arms until they held my face, and he opened his mouth, deepening our kiss. His tongue was like honey. I sank into him, wanting more. Why only in my dreams could it feel like this with him again?
I slowly ran my hands over the drenched material of his shirt, wanting to succumb to the irresistible urge to remove the cloth barriers between us, which was something we had never done before. It all felt so tangible, his kiss perfectly mimicking those we had shared, but somehow containing more fire now than ever before. The addiction of his touch was stronger than any vampire Gift, fueling me with immeasurable amounts of power.
I couldn't bring myself to let go, even with the pain beneath the surface of our lips. I still couldn't stop thinking of him as I slept. I was waiting for this moment, to be with him again, but only in the safety of a harmless dream. My body and my brain memorized his touch, and I still craved it every night, watching the ocean as his intoxicating cologne breezed through the air. Now he was finally here.
I slowly pulled away, but he held me tightly, so my legs couldn't unwrap from his waist. I combed my hand through his wet hair and rested my palm on his neck, but there was no heartbeat as I expected. Somehow, in my dreams, I thought I could have made him human.
I looked at him fully and a single droplet rolled down my cheek, the last of my tears. They instantly halted the moment his lips touched mine. I saw the twinkle sizzling beneath the shades of sapphire in his eyes. It made me ache for him even more when I saw that look. It felt like he reserved it just for me, like I was the only one, even in a dream world. Only I could bring out the piercing, angelic light buried inside him. His perfectly bronzed skin glistened against the sun, pulling taut over his sculpted arms, which flexed like braided ropes when they held me.
For the first time in what seemed like a lifetime, I could see him again, the Alec I fell for, with one look into those magnificent, torrid eyes. He brushed my tear away with his finger and examined the moisture on his skin with so much anguish in his expression, you'd swear it was a deadly chemical that was slowly killing him. Strange how something veiled with such thin translucency had the abi
lity to build a wall between two people that seemed indestructible.
"I've missed you so much," I confessed, dropping my head. He gently picked up my chin so I could see the longing in his expression.
"You don't have to miss me, Dani. I want to be this way with you every second of every day for the rest of our lives," Alec said, gently brushing his lips over mine to remind me of how right it felt when they came together.
"It's different out there than it is here. I feel different…" I said shakily, because I realized I felt like myself again, which only made it all the more clear that I was turning into something cold and unnatural. I was scared to wake up and feel the darkness again.
"She is spending too much time as a vampire, Alec. You should have warned her how dangerous that is, for her, for everyone," an accusing voice spoke behind me, and I jumped out of Alec's arms in surprise, my feet splashing into the water.
"You don't know her like I do. She'll do as she pleases," Alec defended me, and I smiled inside because he was at least right about that. I slowly turned around to face my maker, pressing into Alec's chest when I fully took him in. Alec put his hands on my shoulders and held me close against him as my eyes darted over the vampire standing before me.
"If she knew how much was at stake, I'm sure she would think twice," my maker retorted sharply, making his sloped, falcon-like features seem even more intimidating.
"I told you I was handling it, and I asked you not to come here. I knew you were going against my wishes. She hasn't slept in a week because of you," Alec said bitterly. Okay, this was getting weird. It didn't feel like it was my dream anymore. I mean, how could my mind orchestrate their conversation?
"Someone has to look after her. And I hardly think I am the cause of her restless nights. I mean, for heaven's sake, we are standing in a gaping ocean that reeks of Alec. I don't have to tell you how displeased Christoph is with everything," my maker countered, spanning his arms out over the water as he looked from me to Alec.
"I was trying to respect her privacy and this is none of your business. She's just upset. Things will be better when I get Eli back, and your butting into her world will only confuse her more!" Alec shouted, holding me protectively against him.
"Raise your voice at me again," the vampire dared him, crossing his arms as something red flickered in his eyes. Alec scoffed, offended at the sheer gall of the threat, but he didn't say another word.
I thought I would be afraid as I watched the red deepening in my maker's eyes, which looked otherworldly. They coursed with an evil power that was not of this planet, but instead of fearing it, I felt more connected to him. Then it hit me. The memory returned and a violet light beamed out of my eyes, streaking across my vision. The color swirled into blood red as I turned. I watched him, hovering over me, his razor sharp fangs retracting from my arm, and the venom began to course through my body.
I didn't imagine his face; it was his true form. His pale, paper-thin skin stretched over his sharp, pointed nose and strong, square jaw that was defined by a black-as-night goatee. His neatly combed hair, oil-slicked back, made him look like he was from another time. His eyes flickered with deep ruby gems when the darkness surfaced, the same darkness that was conjured in me the day my heart was broken.
I stepped toward him, holding out my hand to touch his face. Would it feel real even in my dream? Alec clutched me tighter, trying to keep me close to him, but I shrugged him off, stepping out of his reach. The red flickering in my maker's eyes died away when he gave me a small smile, and took my outstretched hand.
"You are truly exquisite, Daniella," he said proudly.
"What is your name?" I asked quietly.
"Roman," he answered, squeezing my hand. " Daniella, about six hundred years ago... "
"No! I don't care what happened, I just want to get Eli back," I yelled, ripping my hand away, and Roman's face went dark again, the flicker of evil returning to his eyes.
"Told you," Alec said, smugly behind me.
"Christoph and I are both out of patience, Alec. You have one week. If you don't bring her by then, I will take her myself," Roman said with finality before he blipped away and disappeared into thin air.
I turned to face Alec, but before I could say a word, his mouth crashed onto mine with such fervor, you'd think he believed our lips would never meet again. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer as I stood on my toes, leaning deeper into his sultry kiss. He hesitantly separated from my lips and looked down at me with pain in his eyes.
"I've missed you too, Dani. I'll get Eli back. Please, just try to trust me." The conviction in his voice was hard to dispute when I felt like myself again, the girl who had so readily given Alec her heart. He pulled me in for another kiss. Our lips seamlessly melted into each other, but with the mention of Eli's name, something shifted. I pulled away from Alec's embrace and looked up at him. Anger began to bubble inside me, and I slowly started to fade away. Panic washed over Alec's face, and he clutched onto my arms, which were becoming increasingly transparent.
"Don't go, Dani!" Alec pleaded, and the fading light in his eyes was the last thing I saw before being swallowed by darkness.
Chapter 7: Half-Angel?
It felt like I was choking despite taking in long, deep drags of air. My heart was pounding out of my chest as I sat up in bed, clutching my shoulder where my maker's cold hand previously rested. I think I was having my very first anxiety attack. My vision still blurred with the residue of stale tears, and I swear, I could feel the tingle of Alec's kiss lingering on my lips. I brought my hand to my mouth, trying to regulate my breathing, but my lips still felt searing hot, almost as if his mouth was just pressed against mine.
Honey swirled on the buds of my tongue from his sweet nectar lips, and I couldn't deny that it was anything but Alec, creating the wonderful taste. Falling asleep while vamp, I, once again, turned human while dreaming of Alec. For the first time since that dream began a week ago, however, he had finally walked out of the ocean and into my arms.
My heart continued to slam like a ping-pong ball, bouncing around my insides. I really thought I might pass out. I twisted the bed sheets in my hands, which were tangled in a mess around my legs, trying to ground myself and reassure my brain it was just a dream. But how could that have been only a dream? My maker's face materialized before me, showing me the dark power that turned me. It all felt so real. Alec's kiss was very real.
I jumped out of bed and went to the balcony, stepping outside. It was freezing, but I didn't care because I still felt like I was on fire. The moon beamed down on my face, the crisp air allowing the stars to shine brightly against the backdrop of the night sky. I leapt off the balcony and began to run. I didn't know where I was going, but I had to run. I kept it at a borderline human pace, but I was well aware how strange it would look for someone to see me running through the neighborhood in the middle of the night, with no coat and knee-length pajama bottoms on, so I turned off the sidewalk and headed towards the woods.
Once in the trees, I immediately picked up speed, ignoring the icicle-like tree branches that sliced my arms open as I passed. I kept going, but to where, I still wasn't sure. I barreled ahead at strides I'd never achieved before, the frost of the forest floor crunching beneath my bare, frozen-solid feet. I saw a glint through trees that caught my eye, and turned right, toward the direction of the glittering lake. I didn't stop until I came to the glossy edge of the water, and knew I was now miles away from home.
My body felt like I was on the verge of hypothermia, in my human state. Even though the cold couldn't kill me, my skin still stung like a million needles were pricking me all at once. My lungs burned with strain as I harshly sucked in the cold air and tried to catch my breath from the sprint. I looked out at the lake, seeking anything familiar, thinking I was somehow still trapped in my eerie, yet most realistic dream.
I stepped into the water, which had dropped to the temperature of an arctic bath, confirming the official end of Fall. I
rubbed my arms, trying to make sense of what just happened, and recreate it somehow. The moonbeams reflected on the water, like snowy tinsel in the black backdrop, and I watched my breath billowing in puffs over my face as my mind replayed it over and over again.
"Dani?" Alec said, and I spun around. He shook his head as he looked me over with a slight expression of pity, and held out his hand. I squinted at him, wondering if he were really there or just another mirage, but I didn't take his hand; I only stepped deeper into the glacial lake. He sighed with disappointment, like we were right back where he didn't want to be, and he unzipped his jacket as he approached me. He stepped into the water and draped the jacket over my shoulders.
"Come on, you're freezing. Let's go back," he said, his concerned eyes showing visible compassion in the moonlight.
"I saw him, my maker…" I stuttered through my chattering teeth. "And you, you were there too…" I looked up at him in wonder, and he nodded, confirming that it was more than a dream. My teeth clattered like a jackhammer. All I wanted was to get warm indoors, but I couldn't move. I felt absolutely paralyzed, trying to logically work things out, but it was impossible.
Alec scooped me up, cradling me against him, and I didn't struggle. The warmth his body emitted was so welcome. He began running back through the woods at what had to have been at least thirty miles per hour, dodging the tree branches and boulders with uncanny ease.
He slowed down to a respectable speed when we came out of the woods at the border of our neighborhood. Discreetly cutting through the backyards, we reached the front porch of the restored Victorian home he was staying in, only a block down from mine. We entered his house, and he set me gently down on the tufted couch in the parlor before piling blankets on top of me. I held the soft material against me, trying to regain the feeling in my extremities. At least I was wearing cropped pants so my clothes were still dry. Alec walked to the fireplace, which still featured the unique original tiles on its face. He quickly kindled a flame and turned to examine me.