"Let me begin by sharing a secret. It is a very painful and personal secret I must entreat you not to share beyond these walls."
"Of course. I won't tell anyone."
He took a deep breath. "Perhaps this will shock you, but the lady supposed to be my wife, Lady Lilliana, left me some weeks ago and absconded with another man to the Continent."
Lily gasped softly and turned her gaze to the muddied tips of her shoes on the floor. She hadn't the slightest idea what to say to such a revelation.
"I know, it is a most untoward circumstance. Worse, her family is anxious to cover up the affair, as am I, obviously."
She looked up at him. He didn't look angry, just resigned.
"But…" Lily felt terribly outraged on his behalf. First his difficult financial situation, and now this. "Why do you not just make her come back and take her rightful place at your side? She oughtn't to be allowed to behave so."
"I cannot make her do anything, unfortunately, since she can't be found. Besides that, our marriage was fraudulent from the beginning. She had already eloped with her lover before she stood beside me at the altar to say her vows."
"How utterly wretched of her!" To participate in such a sacrilegious ruse--it was quite astounding that any woman could do such a thing, even for love. "I can only say… I can only say I'm sorry. That was not well done of her, sir. Not at all."
"Yes, quite. And her mother is beside herself. She is terrified of scandal. Never got over some long ago to-do with her sister, and now this disgrace just as her younger daughter is about to come out. She is desperate to hide this coil, and for myself, I am perfectly happy to not marry again for appearances. Only…if I have no wife…" He spread his arms in a helpless gesture. "It is difficult to maintain appearances. But it is the strangest thing, Lily. You look almost exactly like her."
"Do I?"
"When I first saw you, I was not quite certain you were not Lilliana come back in disguise."
"Oh, I am not her. I promise."
"Of course I realize that now. But your resemblance to Lilliana has given me the most striking idea."
Hanover swept back into the room with a tray heavily laden with roast beef, boiled vegetables, bread, cheeses, apples and grapes. He dropped it on Lily's lap, bowed to them both, and left. Lily looked down at the repast. It was more food than she'd seen in a week. There was no point in protestations or quibbling, as the unmannerly growl of her stomach gave her away. She picked up the utensils and began to eat. The roast was delicious, tender and perfectly seasoned, and the vegetables were crisp instead of soggy. She broke off a piece of the crusty bread and dipped it in the beef gravy. By God, it tasted heavenly. She would make herself sick because she would eat every morsel of what was on the tray.
"At any rate," he went on as she tucked into the food, "it occurred to me that this coincidence might not go to waste. How do you feel about playing the part of my absent wife? Just for appearances, of course."
Lily choked on the piece of bread she'd just swallowed, prompting Lord Ashbourne to jump up and pat her firmly on the back until the morsel dislodged itself.
"Oh! Ah… Lord Ashbourne, sir--" she managed when she caught her breath again.
"Please do not issue an abrupt denial until you consider." He took up a place on the divan beside her. "I would not, of course, expect you to act as my wife in anything other than name. In return, you could enjoy the comforts of Lilyvale Manor, and my London homes as well."
"Your London homes?" Lily nearly choked again.
"Yes. We would need to put in brief appearances now and again to keep the gossips at bay. But this would only be temporary, as I said. A temporary arrangement until Lilliana returns, or until her sister is happily launched and married, which could be as soon as next year. At that time, in thanks for your assistance, I would help you establish your horticulture business in any town or borough you wished. Greenhouses, flower shop, anything. Your own business to run as you see fit. I think it is a very good trade, Miss Lily…" His brows rose in a question.
"Kendall."
"Miss Lily Kendall. And do I assume correctly that you have no familial ties that would hamper such an arrangement?"
She bit her lip. Was it so obvious then, that she was unloved and alone in the world? "It is true my family and I are estranged."
"I'm sorry to hear that. But what I meant is that you are not married or possessed of any dependent children?"
He was so cool and composed, and she so agitated. Her own greenhouses and flower shop. She could barely comprehend the idea, and yet... "My lord, I have no family ties whatsoever at present. But this offer… I am not sure… I'm not certain I can accept."
"Why not? Do you not like Lilyvale? I know it seems an empty, quiet place. I released most of the staff when Lilliana left, for obvious reasons, but they can be hired back if you agree to pose as my wife."
So he was not impoverished after all, only humiliated in circumstance. Her heart ached for this poor man. Society demanded appearances be kept up at any cost--but the cost of her assuming the identity of another? It did not sit right with Lily's conscience.
"It is only that…you see…Lord Ashbourne--it seems terribly deceptive to me. It would be tantamount to living a lie."
"I understand your misgivings. However, I assure you the deception would be a passive one. Most of the time you could continue to be yourself. In fact, I would be rather disappointed for you to take on Lilliana's identity fully, as she turned out to be quite a reprehensible sort. Do please continue eating."
Lily looked down at the forgotten food on her lap with a jolt. Her appetite was gone. She was tense and her nerves were jangling. Think, think, Lily. Consider carefully. Dare you do this?
Lily managed another bite of roast and cooked carrot and thought about what he offered. Food, shelter, the life of a gentle lady, and when it was done, a business of her own. She could return to London and support her family. Or perhaps quieter Tunbridge could become the new family seat. Her sisters could run the flower shop while she worked to her heart's content in the greenhouse, tending and developing new flowers. She would even forgive her father for his heartless actions and invite him to join her as a partner again. She saw now how poverty and financial insecurity could bring out the worst in anyone. She understood his anger now.
And Lord Ashbourne had said I would not expect you to act as my wife in anything other than name. So her unfortunate ruination would not be an issue between them, and she would not be subjected to any more…ruin. It was a good idea except for one thing.
"Do you think they will all believe?" Lily asked doubtfully.
"Perhaps. Perhaps not. I assure you, the resemblance between the two of you is remarkable. If your appearances in the greater world are brief and well-handled, I see no reason for anyone to suspect you are not her. And here at Lilyvale, she was barely known to begin with. If I hire new staff, no one will guess you are not Lilliana in truth."
"But Hanover--"
"Hanover will say nothing. He is my most trusted servant, and well paid for his loyalty. Mrs. Gertrude, while an excellent cook, is advancing in dementia. Even if she does not believe, no one will take her claims as anything other than delusions."
Lily bit into a grape, the sweet juicy goodness unfamiliar and cloying. She might eat grapes all day and all night as his wife. Her tummy felt full for the first time in weeks and she was safe and warm and sheltered from the rain. How on earth could she say no?
She looked over at Lord Ashbourne, at his composed, almost resigned face, and his eyes that captivated her with their pale blue depths. He sat forward on the divan, his hands braced on his powerful thighs. The candlelight illuminated the sheen of his dark hair and the directness of his gaze. Lily Kendall playing wife to this man, this striking, distinguished gentleman. That was what made her hesitate. She rubbed her eyes, overwhelmed by the decision.
"If you like, you can consider first," he offered. "Rest and let me know in the morning. Or aftern
oon. Whenever you are sure."
He looked so tired. So sad. And so very handsome. Later, in the quiet comfort of the bedroom Hanover led her to, with the violent rain and thunder out of doors, Lily drifted to sleep thinking she would be an absolute fool to refuse.
Chapter Two: A Blessing of Circumstances
Lily stirred, still half-asleep and dreaming of a warm, dry bed and soft sheets. She fought wakefulness, not wanting to give up the cozy comfort for the harshness of the ground where she slept. She heard the sound of rain and distant thunder and dreaded the damp misery that would come when her dream dissolved into reality. Then, with a kind of wonder, she realized she wasn't dreaming at all. She remembered that she was in Lord Ashbourne's guest room, put to bed there last night after a full meal and a warm bath, and the rain and misery was outside where it couldn't touch her. She came to alertness slowly, basking in the unfamiliar softness of her nightdress, the floral-fresh scent of the sheets. She pulled them up to her nose and stretched beneath the soft linen, peering around the room in the weak light of the overcast morning.
How long had she slept? The strange events of the evening before came back to her as she looked around the spacious chamber. The bed she slept in was large and the other furnishings stood heavy and dark against the white walls. She noticed more of her own flowers on a table near the window. She bit her lip, remembering Lord Ashbourne staring at her as they bartered over price. She could never have imagined, when the Smeeth woman directed her to Lilyvale, how her life would change in one night. She was marveling over the capriciousness of fate, that she would so resemble his missing wife, when a high-pitched, warbling voice drifted in from the hall.
"Oh, and my bonny lass was smiling, and ohhhh--" The door flew open and an elderly woman swept in with a feather duster three times the size of her head, mincing about the room, singing in a broad accent. "How I loooved that bonny lass of mine-- Well now." The woman drew herself up at the bed, frowning down at Lily. "You don't say you and my lord have been in a spat again, missy? Oh, how these newlyweds carry on. And each time you choose a hidey-hole farther away. You know ye belong with your husband and not runnin' off to hide out in the guest rooms. Now get you out of bed and get dressed. Come now, Miss Gertie will do your hair up sweet so you can charm yourself right back into his good graces."
The old woman leaned down and took Lily's arm with a strength belied by her years, her gray curls shaking under an unkempt kerchief.
"Oh, men and ladies." She laughed, handing Lily a robe to cover her sleeping gown. "Today is a new day. Ye'll work these matters out between you soon enough, I expect. The master, he won't like to sleep alone too much longer," she added with a mischievous wink as she ushered Lily down the hallway. "I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, don't ye, missy?"
"Erm…" Lily supposed this was the Mrs. Gertrude Lord Ashbourne had referred to, although she seemed not at all delusional, only a bit pushy and understandably mistaken regarding to whom she spoke. She steered Lily into a room nearly at the end of the opposite hallway, a room even larger, cozier and more luxurious than the last. The small sitting area at one side was done up in the same pale blue and gold Lily was now familiar with, and the furniture was covered in delicate crocheted doilies with assorted books, knickknacks, combs and powders. Lily's initial alarm subsided. This was not Lord Ashbourne's bedroom. This was a lady's room. Mrs. Gertrude had shown her to Lilliana's dressing room.
The old woman brought her some heated, scented water and a cloth, and then crossed to a large armoire, humming the same aimless tune under her breath. She pulled out a silk gown in pale blue. Lily began to think she might never see another color, but then she saw all the other variously colored gowns in the stuffed armoire. She had never seen so many gowns in one place in her life. "His lordship loves this color," Mrs. Gertrude said with a nod. "How about this gown then, milady?"
"Yes. I suppose." Lily spoke softly, unsure of the right things to say, or the way to say them, or how to act. How was she to play this Lilliana when she had never met her? She had only been at the playacting a few minutes and already she was making a muss of it. Mrs. Gertrude looked at her in consternation.
"Cat got your tongue, milady? Mumbly-bumbly. Are you feeling poorly?"
Lily cleared her throat and shook her head, blushing. "I am only a bit tired," she said, trying to infuse her voice with the polite but authoritative tones Lord Ashbourne used. It seemed to placate Mrs. Gertrude, who clucked sympathetically.
"Well then, I'll leave you to wash and dress and then I'll come do your hair right pretty like I said."
"Yes, thank you, ma'am," Lily said, prompting another strange look from the old woman. She tried to salvage the farce with a regal nod of her head. "That will be all." Mrs. Gertrude swept out, muttering something about locating her feather duster. Lily washed and dressed as quickly as she ever had in her life, barely taking the time to enjoy the fine soap and warm, crystal clear water in the china ewer. She did up the tiny satin-covered buttons at the back of the gown as best she could when Mrs. Gertrude did not return to help her, but she was certain she missed a few. She ran her fingers over the comb on the vanity, guessing Mrs. Gertrude would not be back to do her hair either. She twisted it into a messy tangle over her shoulder and went to peer out into the lengthy hallway. Seeing no sign of the woman in either direction, she left the door ajar and sat on the edge of the divan by the window to wait.
After some time, she decided she had best attempt to do her own hair. She crossed to the vanity and picked up the fine hairbrush lying on a mirrored tray. Lilliana's brush undoubtedly, as it was monogrammed with an L. A wedding gift perhaps. It looked unused. Lily began to drag it through her locks, which never seemed to want to cooperate.
At a sound at the door, she turned, expecting Mrs. Gertrude at last, only to find Lord Ashbourne standing there watching her. She flushed under his direct gaze. Somehow she got the feeling he had not just arrived, but had seen her gawking at Lilliana's fine things and whispering impatient curses at her hair. In fact, she thought he might have been suppressing a smile. Yes, the rogue. He had been watching her wrestle with the hairbrush and found it amusing. She felt foolish while he stood straight, a silent, elegant figure dressed in a gray morning coat and light trousers. He greeted her with a small bow.
"Good morning, Miss Lily."
"Good morning, Lord Ashbourne." She looked down at the dress she wore and the brush she held, neither of which were her own, and thought she must seem awfully forward. She stammered out a quick explanation. "Mrs. Gertrude…she brought me here this morning and bade me dress in this gown. She was going to come do my hair but she hasn't, and I fear I have fumbled the buttons in the back just awfully."
He crossed at once from the door to stand behind her. "Lift your hair and I shall assist you with the buttons anyway." His proximity made her feel curiously shaky as she pulled her hair forward over her shoulder. She felt his fingers move over the errant fastenings, manipulating the fabric with little tugs as he looped the ones she'd missed. She could see his face reflected in the mirror on the vanity. His features were composed and his mouth looked tight as if he were concentrating. She wanted to look away but she couldn't stop staring. Suddenly, his glance flicked up and caught hers in the glass. She looked down in her lap, feeling the furious blush rise on the back of her neck. Oh, surely he saw it too. How embarrassing. He was absolutely unflappable, while her own heartbeat stottered and stuttered every time he so much as looked at her. It was most vexing and she scolded herself silently. Do not be a stupid girl.
"There. Your buttons are fixed now," he said, stepping away. "But I'm afraid I can't be of much assistance with your hair."
She caught the undertones of humor in his resonant voice, but his face, when she turned to smile at him, remained serious and composed as always. He turned toward the window just a moment before turning back to her.
"I surmise you have already been thrust into subterfuge. I am sorry if you felt unprepared. Poor
Mrs. Gertrude is obtuse at the best of times, and of course has no inkling of the ruse we are considering."
"She was a most kind lady this morning. I do not mind."
"You are a kind girl for saying so. She means well, of course. I owe a great debt to her and her son. When my parents and I became ill with the fever some ten years ago, they would not leave our sides, although other servants would not come near. He worked in the stables and she in the kitchens, and yet they risked their own health to care for us. I believe my mother and I rallied only due to their stubborn refusal to let us expire, even though my father, sadly, was lost. And so I've a former groom now for my manservant, and a slightly demented housekeeper and cook."
Lily considered a moment. "There is no shame in that, sir. Not in my mind. I think it's rather wonderful." I think you're rather wonderful.
He didn't reply, but oh, he was staring at her so. If only she could think of something clever to say. He shifted and stood a little straighter, and his lips tightened in that manner he had.
"So have you considered what we spoke of last night? I do not want you to feel pressured by the fact that Mrs. Gertrude has already forced you into one of Lilliana's gowns." He paused and surveyed her. "I daresay even there, the fit is true."
Lily blushed hot at his extended regard of her person. She could feel the flush spreading down her neck and over the rather unfortunate expanse of décolletage the stylish gown revealed. She cleared her throat quietly. "Yes, I have considered, my lord."
"Call me James," he said, clasping his hands behind his back. "If you choose to play Lilliana, she addressed me as James when we were in private. And I suppose I will need to call you 'Lily,' without the 'Miss.'"
"But if we are in private, sir, I suppose it will not matter what we call one another." Oh, the way she had phrased those words sounded terribly improper--as if she might play his wife in private as well as public. Her flush deepened and she forged ahead with the words she had carefully rehearsed. "Lord…sir…James…I have thought on the matter and I find I cannot do other than assist you in your time of need. I should be terribly selfish if I didn't. And you have been so kind in your offer of…"
Lily Mine Page 3