«I am going to call a doctor, » He says alarmed.
«Wait. I know exactly who you are, Erik. I would have been nice to forget about you but unfortunately it is not »' confess sighing.
«Why do you say that? »
I wonder if I'm stupid. "Maybe I don't want to see you anymore because you lied to me and, more seriously, I saw you at the club with another women?" I think. He believes that everything can be resolved, rather they are sure he is convinced that everything will be as it wants. Let him play with my feelings. He doesn't deserve anything from me.
«I saw you and you saw me. There is nothing to add. I want you to disappear from my life forever» I say cold.
«I'm sorry I lied to you but I didn't do it for what you think. I ...». I interrupt him raising my hand.
«I don't care. I want you out of my life. Now! » I shriek. He looks me in the eye with a sad expression, I feel sorry for anything.
«I won't give up on you » he growls coming out.
As soon as the door closes shot a sigh of relief.
«Don't you think you've overdone it a bit? » Claire asks me.
I turn to snap at her angrily. How can she say something like that?
«But what's the matter? Logan did go to my brain? » I cross my arms watching her.
Here is another face shocked in less than five minutes.
«What do you take? That guy was all the time here to care for you. As a thank you treated like crap» she screams gesticulating.
«Which side are you on? He lied to me to go out with another woman. What do you think I should do? I jump into his arms and I pretend nothing happened. »
This discussion is absurd, she's my friend should understand me. Instead he's defending the asshole.
«It's not like that. The woman you saw is a new very important customer. Knowing how much you're jealous, she preferred to tell a small lie. »
Yes of course. And I'm supposed to believe this story? He's good with words, it seems my friend fell into his trap. Our conversation is interrupted by the arrival of the doctor, surely he advised Erik. The doctor informs me about my health condition and recommended complete rest for 10 days. I have no serious injuries after losing the feel were made all the findings of the case. I think Erik has been with me all this time. I watch while listening attentively to every word of the doctor on duty. I'm confused, why bother if you don't care about anything? I can't get definite answers and his behavior always puts into question any thought of mine. I told him not to get any more and that's when I felt like the right thing to do. But the idea of never seeing him again makes me sick.
The doctor said I'll have to stay here two more days and I don't like it at all.
«Go home, you'll be exhausted» I order to Clara, who tries to complain but my serious expression says it all. Sforza a smile rising.
«I know that was wrong. Please don't cut him out of your life, you'll regret him. » With these words she leave the room.
I feel suddenly chills but I have really cool. I feel empty, alone again. The last few weeks have been really intense, I tried so many emotions, some new, but all related to a single name. Erik.
His presence triggers in me mixed emotions, sometimes the joy is mixed with pain. Sometimes I feel like touching the sky with a finger but the moment doubts surround me. We are very different and yet within me the desire to have it next increases more and more. I fell in love with him even though he knew it wouldn't be easy. We're talking about a man who has never had a lasting relationship, what could he offer me if not a relationship to an end.
«Stop!» I cry aloud. I have to stop thinking all the time about him.
After spending a few days in observation I can go home and take it slow. Erik has never showed up, though he sent red roses with a note that I have not yet dared to open. I'll have to review it, work for him, but I can count on time, I'll be back in ten days and then we'll see. I'll stand by him aware that something has changed between us.
Chapter 16
I'm sitting at my desk waiting for him to arrive. I'm more nervous than usual, the hands do not stop shaking. I wonder what was in these days! I feel horrible. I didn't sleep or eat much. Do some deep breaths to calm myself, when the door opens wide making me WinCE.
«In my Office. Now» he order me.
He scared me to death. He seems angry, worse than I thought. Wasting no time I reach and remain silent, I approach slowly at his desk and for a moment it seems a scene. He's staring at me which increases the tension that exists between us. The silence that you created is so unnerving. I would like to talk about but I wouldn't know what to say.
«Sit down. »
I obey without question, lower your gaze, trying to avoid his damn magnetic eyes. This is no time to think about how great it is, I have to remove that thought from my head.
«You're the most complicated I've ever known» he mumbles puffing.
«Do you say? »I wonder surprise.
«You're acting like a child. You always understand what you want, » he says sternly while gesturing with his hands. I looked at him startled, I wasn't expecting this reaction. Think I'm a kid, I'd want to argue but he seems to have lost his voice.
«I have proved in every way I want you to know. I told you it wouldn't be easy because for me it's a new thing. But you ... you instead of me throws up a wall. You do your mental movie and shut it down like it was nothing. » While he talking seems frustrated, nervous, disappointed.
I would retort, yelling at him but my body doesn't react caught me unprepared.
«You're trying in every way to destroy what we are together and I don't understand because you do it. See all black and you don't realize that among us there is something special about »his voice feels just.
A guilt shouldn't overwhelm, but maybe his words came deep inside of me. You're right, I see the world in my own way and not how it is. I'm always looking for the flaw in every thing just to justify the way I see it. I no longer believe in happiness because I lost it and I do not believe in second chances.
«When my parents died I went from heaven to hell. My perfect world came crashing down in an instant and I felt helpless because I couldn't do anything to help them. That day I had to die too, but I chose to go to the cinema with my friends. The world sucks and happiness has a deadline, that's why I see all black because I know what it's like after you've lost everything. »
I take a deep breath, holding back tears. I can't cry, would see me weak and I do not want to.
«I must go» I say as I draw to the door but he quickly reached, seizing hold of his hand. I am going to give in, I can't hold back the tears and I'm afraid to show this part of me. The tears run down and instinctively lowered his face hoping to hide out. I would like to disappear now and hide in the most remote place.
Now he's in front, his hands caressing me, feel his breath, her warmth. I lift your chin and looks me in the eye. His glance strikes me as a knife on his chest. Feel compassion, what I always avoided.
«You don't hide from me» he whispers in loving tone. I would run away but I can't continue like this, I can't hide forever although they are scared. Failing to support her look down with the eyes is I look at the floor. I'm not comfortable and I don't know what to do.
«you look me» he whispers. Our eyes meet and I have the feeling that he's trying to understand my pain. My body reacts, wrap your arms around her waist and hold him to me. With a gentle gesture leaning my head on his chest and I caressing my hair. Keeps me if while his hands caress me and I feel safe as hasn't happened in a long time. I let out all the air I in the lungs while the tears run down relentlessly.
«I'm with you. »
Few words that mean everything to me. I close my eyes and I let myself be cradled in his arms feeling a sense of peace.
Chapter 17
It's been three months since I know Erik. I have to say it's like being on a roller coaster. He's the jealous type though he tries to control himself. I understand he's very
moody but I got used to it, I think. Tomorrow is my birthday, I didn't tell him anything because I don't want to celebrate. In recent months we have talked so much. I told him some of my life and he did the same. In the Office we are very professional and I prefer it that way. The phone ring interrupted my thoughts, is a message of Clara:
"Honey, how's it going? I wanted to ask you if you want to go out tomorrow night. Kisses kisses" .
Mischievous smile. Take me for an idiot? You know very well that tomorrow is my birthday. No way, my dear.
"Okay, honey. I'm sorry but I have another commitment. If you want we can do tonight. Kisses kisses".
Now I want to see, definitely she will be boiling with rage because her plans have failed.
"Elisa Ston, don't tell me shit. We know both what day is tomorrow. I'll come pick you up at 19:00 and we will celebrate. Whether you like it or not. You don't want to make a stand. I love you. "
Other than she 's angry. She called me by name, that means she's furious. When Claire is furious becomes intractable. Snort at the idea of taking her out, I'm sure she's up to something. I just hope it doesn't tell the entire universe of my birthday.
My thoughts go out to Erik, today he didn't hear. Definitely going to be busy with work. Can't get used to the silence. I don't claim much but at least one message, "How are you? ". It's not that difficult. In a week start the University, I don't think we will have a long time to see us. Yes, I see it most mornings to work but it's not the same thing.
The fateful day arrived. Today is my birthday.
«Are you ready to play? » Claire's voice brings me back to reality. I nodded slightly as I approach her.
«What is it, honey? » she asks.
«Nothing ... it's just ... No, never mind» Snort.
«Come on, spit it out. » she is disturbing when you look at me that way, I think I see the killer doll.
« I don't feel Erik even a message from yesterday, »I say lowering the gaze.
«Certainly will have his reasons, don't care».
I can't figure out even how you always defend him. She find an excuse to each his behavior.
«Where are we going? » I ask trying to change the subject.
«I can't tell you, it's a surprise. You'll like it. »
Of course it was. For my 18 years had organized a pool party. Most people didn't know who he was. I hate being the center of attention, they are not made for this.
The strangest thing is we go out with his car. Want to just make sure I don't run away. I just hope he's not anything exaggeration but, knowing her, nothing is over the top for her. Is unique.
«Tell me where do we go? You know I hate surprises» I complain like a child. I'm sure not going to say anything, I know all too well.
Does not speak, continues to lead in religious silence. Very strange with the gabwho finds herself. But what's with her? Maybe it's better to investigate a bit.
«How's Logan?». The only eyes light up at the sound of his name.
«I'm fall in love with him» confesses. The situation is really serious then.
«I can't believe it. Do you fall in love ?» My jaw might fall to the ground in surprise.
«You should talk. What do you think, I know you're fall in love with Erik». OK, now I'm in shock. How the hell did he figure that out? Oh, no! And even if Erik had understood? I'm screwed. I can't lie to her, she's my best friend.
«We're on our way, you put this » she says handing me a bandage. But from where he pulled out?
«Are you kidding?» I ask.
«Never been so serious. Now put the damn eye patch and enjoy the surprise without protest. » She scares me when you talk like that.
Let's just put in this insanity. I put the blindfold on puffing and thinking about this whole situation is ridiculous.
«We arrived. You listen to me, I'll help you get off. Do not remove the blindfold until I say so » she schools me.
The door opens and his hand helps me get off, I can't see anything. That stupid! I could put the bandage so that allowed me to peek. Why didn't I think of that? We walk for a few minutes and then we stop.
I can recognize the sound of an elevator, where are we? Around me there is silence, too. I'm uncomfortable I haven't been blindfolded and I never let her drive from someone but Claire would trust with my life. I have always helped and comforted, I was always close despite was trying to push her away. Feel the lift stop, the doors open and I step a few paces, then his hand blocking me suddenly.
«Now, Darling, count to 3 and remove the blindfold. » Her voice is gentle and calm. Almost afraid to see what you're doing. To be coming to blindfold me, does it have to be something big. I take a deep breath and 1, 2, 3 ... The blindfold slides down. Now my eyesight is blurred but when I put it well. Oh my God! I can't believe it!
I can't believe my eyes, she did all that for me. I am in a huge Ballroom. The whole is decorated as a party: some tables on the sides, soft lighting and a bar full of alcohol. Strange that there is no music.
«Saw you weren't present at prom, I've been thinking about this. » I'm amazed. I'm speechless, all of this must have cost a fortune. View this room reminds me why I didn't go to prom. My parents were missed by two months and I did not want to meet anyone, let alone go to the ball. Even though it was the last year for me, I wasn't in the mood.
I remember that Claire had insisted until the last moment. The fact that it fills me with joy. The literally jump on embracing it.
« Thanks, it's great» I said tightening she stronger.
«You ain't seen nothing yet, my dear, » she comments.
After this revelation puts two fingers in her mouth and whistle. Since Claire knows whistle? While I rip from her a sweet melody invades the whole room, I hear a voice singing, a beautiful voice. I turn curiosity-driven shutter but there is none. So I think until you raise a curtain. I thought it was the window curtain, I didn't think that this room was so grand. Before my eyes there are two men: a man who sings – here's where that voice! – and then I scan the other figure ... My heart is beating wildly, I stop to breathe.
«No dance is perfect without a Knight» Claire whispers . My eyes are pasted to that person that slowly approaches. I can't believe it. He's here: Erik. Looks like something from a catalog of fashion. He wears a black Tuxedo without tie, first shirt buttons open, sexy look. Walks with a walk. Now I can die in peace. Her gaze pierces me right into my soul. I think I'm in heaven, I do not know give me other explanations.
«Happy birthday, baby ». His voice runs through the body like a shiver. He is here, here to me. His hands take my gently to lead me into a dance in the middle of the track.
Our bodies seem to be one. I'm still in shock and speechless, a thousand emotions they invaded. I'm trying to realize what's going on around me. His hand slides over my bare back while the other grabs with my decision. We're swaying in perfect sync. Our eyes look with desire and it is inevitable that her lips join behind my to seal now! And to think I was wary because they don't feel since yesterday, I had already imagined a drama. Instead he was just preparing for this.
A question arises. «Did you help Claire in all this? » I ask.
He smiles and, with a resolute, he cuddles me. «Anything for you, my sweet Elisa».
But all this sweetness where it comes from? I'm not saying that has never been so considerate but there is something that escapes me. I look suspicious, I count right.
A second thought even Claire behaves strangely. But what takes them both? Bah, I'll try to investigate it a bit. All this sudden kindness stinks.
After a few minutes I realize I have dance of the spectators. There are also Logan and Jason, which can only please me, are wonderful people. In recent months I've gotten to know them better and I have to say that I have fun with them. This gallery is perfect, I couldn't wish for a better birthday. I repent for my thought as soon as I see a cake.
Oh, no! I've always hated these things. Logan and Jason sing «happy birthday« and the
n as if that weren't enough even Claire and Erik follow them. This is the moment that I fear most. I'm sinking from embarrassment. Erik approached me, enveloping the flanks and gently leave a kiss on my shoulder.
«Make a wish, » Jason says. What would I want? I would like to take back my parents, I would be happy again, I wouldn't be afraid, in short ... " want my life back" I think blowing out the candles.
I don't think the wishes come true or, better, I stopped believing in wishes. Sadness makes its way inside me, being here reminds me of mom and dad and makes me feel even more their lack. But I must not spoil this moment and, with a fake smile, I try to swallow a few bites of cake.
I never dreamed all this and I never imagined it would be so, just for me. I don't deserve him. I've never done anything for them, yet they are here.
After dancing, laughter and lots of fun it's time to go home. Who knows if he will come to a sleepover! Will the man who is usually? Tonight was different. I would tell him how I feel, I really want him to know.
«Do you want to come in the wolf's lair? » he asks. He wants me to go to his house? I've never been to her house. It seems that something is changing, maybe we arrived at an important phase of our relationship. Maybe I understand more. Yet he never said he loved me, never a Word to make me understand. I don't flatter myself, I don't have to dream up something that I'll never have.
So why insist with him, though I know that won't last? I can't stay away from, that's why. Fell in love with him but he doesn't know. I don't know how he feels really for me, I really don't know anything about what's going on in his head. And if I go with him? If I tell him that I love him? So I'm lost in my thoughts, that I forgot to thank the other.
«Guys, thanks for everything »I say. «It means a lot to me to have you here. » My shyness seems to amuse them each time, I can see.
HANDSOME BUT DAMNED - Attraction Page 8