"What about the blonde?" Remo asked.
"Her name was really Amanda Bull. She was the first to be recruited. Her background is not extraordinary. In fact, none of the FOES members were anything but ordinary people."
"They were amateurs, Emperor," Chiun offered. "I dealt with them while Remo was ill. They could do nothing correctly. Especially the woman."
"Really? Then you were with them when they attacked the missile base. Perhaps you could explain how these amateurs were able to breach our security and destroy that missile."
"Because they were vicious killers who would stop at nothing," Chiun said instantly.
"But you just said they were incompetent," Smith said.
Chiun shrugged. "What do you expect? They are Americans, and therefore inconsistent."
Smith regarded Chiun with momentary perplexity. "In any case," he resumed, "none of them survived, which is probably for the best. We've recovered the bodies of all concerned and have made arrangements so that it appears they all died accidental deaths. The Zarnitsa brothers will be cremated, and as far as the Russians will ever know, they simply disappeared."
"What about explaining the missile accident?" Remo asked.
"That will be taken care of, too. The disarmament groups will be a problem for a while, but the public has a short memory for such incidents. Gradually, the matter will be forgotten— as long as the full story never gets out."
"I'm not so sure that's the right thing to do," Remo told Smith. "After all, those crazies did wreck a missile and then steal the warhead. Maybe the public should know how vulnerable this whole nuclear business is. And how nuts those people are."
Smith didn't bother to look up from his examination of the destroyed flying saucer. "Fortunately, that's not up to you, Remo. Don't worry, new safeguards will be installed because of what happened out here."
Remo wasn't sure he agreed, but he let it pass. "Well, that explains everything except the UFO. What was it?"
Smith got to his feet and brushed hay off his knees. "This will have to be analyzed first, but I'm reasonably certain that when it is, we will discover that Zarnitsa was operating from a small airship, a dirigible probably. It could float soundlessly, hover, and carry a small complement of people and equipment to do what your flying saucer actually did. The many bright lights probably helped disguise its flimsy construction and the air fans— or whatever they were— which propelled it horizontally for short distances."
"That would explain why it registered strangely when I got close to it," Remo said. "I was expecting to sense heavy machinery inside, but instead I felt a hollowness. That was because it was filled mostly with gas. But what about those weapons?"
"You already know about the ultrasonic field. The death ray you described to me is probably a laser with a blue filter to give the beam a different look. Most people expect lasers to be red, you know. The whole ship probably ran off storage batteries."
"It's over, at any rate," Remo said. "The whole crazy thing."
"And it was crazy," Smith agreed. "They could never have succeeded in their goal without starting an international crisis. But this whole business of pretending to be an alien from another planet did convince enough people to become a serious matter."
"Pah! How could anyone believe such a thing?" Chiun spat.
"I'm glad you weren't fooled, Chiun," Remo said dryly. "It would have been a real disaster if one of us hadn't kept his head."
Smith looked at them both steadily. "I have some more details to attend to. You'll hear from me." And he left.
* * *
"You were trying to tell me that the World Master was a fraud when you recited that legend of Huk and the dwarf king, weren't you?" Remo asked Chiun after Smith had departed.
"Of course," Chiun said. "I wanted to break the news to you gently, but naturally you missed the point."
"You knew he was a fake then, but when you crashed in on him, you were pretty freaked out by what you saw."
Chiun started to walk off. Remo followed. "I expected to come upon a dwarf, not a man dressed like a cockroach," Chiun said innocuously.
"When did you first suspect the truth?"
"I knew it all along."
"Bull. If you knew it all along you wouldn't have helped that dippy blonde wreck that missile. And if Smith ever figures out it was you who was really responsible for that, he'll probably take the cost out of the next shipment of gold he sends to your village."
"Do not ever let him know the truth, Remo," Chiun admonished. "I will avoid the subject in the future. Perhaps I will tell Smith that he need not pay a bonus for the saving of that city. Yes, I will tell him that I make a present of Tulsa to him. Perhaps they might erect a statue in my honor instead. One with a plaque which reads, CHIUN, SAVIOR OF TULSA. Yes, I would like that."
"You still haven't answered my question. When did you really figure out that the World Master was a phoney?"
"If you must know, Remo, I became suspicious upon our second meeting," Chiun said. "This World Master agreed with everything I said. He was very glib. But he was ignorant of the sun source. This made me suspicious, as did the name he gave. No Master would give himself a name like Large Hairy Dog."
"I still don't understand that part. Why did he take a Korean name?"
"He did not. He made up a name. To my ears, which expected that name to be Korean, it sounded like Hopak Kay, which means Large Hairy Dog. I told you his accent was atrocious."
"Yeah, but what tipped you off finally?"
Chiun turned to face Remo Williams. "It was when I asked him about his world. You know he claimed to be from an advanced civilization. When I asked him about the position of assassins in this so-called advanced civilization, he told me there were none, and I knew then he was a despicable liar."
"Because there weren't supposed to be assassins on his planet, you knew he was lying?" Remo demanded.
"Certainly," Chiun beamed. "Who ever heard of an advanced civilization without assassins?"
"Got me," Remo said.
Chiun reached into his ballooning sleeves and brought out his Rubik's Cube.
"And now on to serious things," he said.
the end
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Encounter Group td-56 Page 17