by Debbie Mason
Chapter Eleven
As they got out of the cab on Primrose Lane, her grandmother made a face at the white Cape Cod that housed the clinic. “I don’t know why we had to come today. It’s not as if I’m sick, and we can’t afford to take time off the campaign trail. There’s less than twelve days to the election.”
Arianna got queasy at the reminder. It felt like she was on the chopping block, the ax about to fall. She could see it hovering above her. Feel the blade—shiny and sharp—swinging closer and closer to her neck, and still she put off making a decision.
There was a very good reason why she did. Because while she didn’t like being in the spotlight, giving speeches and handing out flyers and living in constant fear that someone was going to bring up the fire or ask about her arm or when she was going to reopen Tie the Knot, it beat how she’d been living before. She hadn’t been living, really. She’d been slowly dying. Just the thought of going back to that place made her even more queasy than the thought of winning the mayoral race. Which was why she’d yet to make a decision.
Afraid Glamma was going to bolt, Arianna used the excuse Connor had come up with. “You promised Sean and Connor that you’d have a physical and get some bloodwork done. They’re worried all the hours you’re putting in on the campaign are too much for you. Unless you want them to start treating you like you’re eighty, you have to suck it up.”
“Easy for you to say,” Helen muttered, swinging her cane as she walked up the stone path to the door. She stopped and held it open for Arianna. “But if it means you’ll let them check your arm, I’ll do it.”
Arianna clenched her jaw, cursing Connor in her head. Of course Mr. Fixer had come up with the idea to use her to blackmail Glamma into getting checked out. He’d played on their weaknesses—each other.
And speaking of the handsome, blue-eyed devil, there he was. She turned at the sexy purr of the Porsche’s engine, watching as Connor pulled into the spot the taxi had just vacated. He’d had client meetings in Boston all morning and hadn’t been sure he’d make it back in time for their appointments, though he had promised to try.
While she’d been disappointed he wouldn’t be there when they did a cognition test on her grandmother, she’d also been relieved. Arianna didn’t want him anywhere near her when they removed the compression bandage from her arm.
A flurry of butterflies took flight in her stomach when he rounded the front of his car. She tried to convince herself any woman would get butterflies at the sight of him in his elegantly fitted black suit. He looked powerful, successful, and in complete and utter control of himself and everything around him.
But as his long, loose-limbed strides ate up the distance between them, she cracked under the pressure of her lie. She was days, hours, minutes, seconds away from falling in love with him.
Her heart hurt, and her thoughts were as chaotic as the butterflies that took flight in her stomach. She should drag him into the examination room with her. Have him stand by her side as they peeled back the bandage to reveal her ruined arm. He’d see her for how she really was, ugly and deformed.
That’s what she wanted, wasn’t it? For him to see who she’d become. See that she was no longer the blue-eyed blonde with smooth, silky skin, a limitless future, and an unblemished past whom he’d fallen in love with. That was the woman he wanted, the woman he loved. If he knew her secret, saw how ugly she’d become, he’d walk away like every other man in her life had done.
“Stop mooning over him. He’s coming.” Glamma motioned her inside with the cane.
She wasn’t mooning. She was memorizing the perfection of his face, of his smile, the way his intent blue eyes moved over her. It wasn’t enough. She needed more time. More time in his arms, more time with his mouth on hers, more time to regain her own confidence and strength. If she said goodbye too soon, if he was no longer in her life, no longer there for her to lean on, she was afraid she wouldn’t have the strength to give her grandmother the care she needed. She wouldn’t even let her mind go to the place where her grandmother was gone and she was alone.
“You need your glasses, Glamma. I wasn’t mooning over him. I was smiling.” She was proud of herself. Her voice didn’t reveal even a hint of the fear and shame that were coursing through her body and brain. “I’m glad you came,” she said to Connor, mentally pushing up the faltering edges of her lips.
“Me too,” he said, a slight furrow appearing on his brow. He placed his big hand above her grandmother’s head to hold open the entrance door.
As Arianna walked into the waiting room, she heard Glamma whisper, “Good thing you made it, my boy. I’m pretty sure she was about to bolt.”
Focused on finding three unoccupied seats as far away from the other patients as possible without looking like that was what she was doing, Arianna didn’t hear Connor’s reply. She spotted three chairs tucked in a corner and fast walked to the other side of the waiting room before Connor or her grandmother could stop her. She took a seat, smiling and nodding at the other people in the room. Her grandmother and Connor would have to be satisfied. She didn’t think it was fair that she had to play mayoral candidate every minute of every day, especially here.
Obviously, Glamma disagreed. She shot a scowl in Arianna’s direction and then pasted a smile on her face and went to speak to a familiar-looking older woman. Connor said hello to a couple older men, returned several women’s flirtatious smiles with one of his own, and responded to people asking after his family. Glamma was still glad-handing and gabbing when Connor went to speak to the receptionist, receiving another come-hither smile for his effort.
“Not a word,” she said when he took the seat beside her, positive he was going to give her crap for not doing her candidate duties. No doubt Daniel would have had the patients in hysterics by now, which made Arianna feel a little hysterical.
Connor nudged her with his shoulder, and she looked up.
“How about a kiss, then?” he said.
She supposed she didn’t blame him for asking. Of late, she’d been a bit too free with her kisses. Her gaze dropped to his mouth. He had the most beautiful lips, and his kisses were absolutely delicious and had her dreaming of more.
He lifted her hand and pressed his lips to her knuckles. “You didn’t think I was going to kiss you on your lips in the middle of the doctor’s office, did you?” he asked with a teasing grin.
“No. I didn’t think you’d kiss me at all.” She tugged her hand free and caught a glimpse of her grandmother beaming their way. “You’ve done it now. Just look at her. She’s probably telling them we’re romantically involved.”
He smiled, looking completely relaxed and unaffected at the possibility.
“Doesn’t it concern you that people are talking about us?” She nudged him with her elbow when he didn’t immediately respond. “Connor?”
“Babe, you seem to be the only one who doesn’t realize we’re romantically involved. Now, if Glamma tells them we’re getting married next week, I’ll get concerned.”
She stared at him.
He shrugged. “I’ve told you before, don’t ask a question unless you can handle the answer.”
“Helen Fairchild,” an attractive white-haired woman called, scanning the waiting room. It was the clinic’s nurse, Dorothy DiRossi.
Glamma kept her back to Dorothy, continuing her conversation with her friends.
“Sorry. I think she must be losing her hearing too,” Arianna said loud enough for her grandmother to hear and smiled at the nurse. “I’ll get her for you.”
Connor laughed. “You’re going to pay for that, babe.”
Sure enough, Glamma lifted her chin and walked by Arianna, saying, “You go sit yourself down. I’m quite capable of seeing the doctor on my own.”
“Of course you are,” Dorothy said. “Come with me, Helen. My stepdaughter Ava will be doing your physical today. You’re going to love her.”
“Relax,” Connor said as Arianna stared after the two older wome
n, unsure what she should do.
And because she was anxious about her grandmother’s appointment and her own, she snapped at him. “How am I supposed to relax? If it’s one of the days she’s decided she’s perfectly fine—and I think it is one of those days—she won’t tell them anything, and then she won’t remember half of what I need to know.”
Her aggrieved tone didn’t seem to bother him. He just cocked his head to the side and said equably, “You do know Ava is married to my cousin Griffin and that they live a stone’s throw from me, right?”
“Of course I do. Ava and I are good friends. But what does…? Oh.” She sighed. “I should have known. Ava already has a complete and up-to-date history on my grandmother thanks to you, doesn’t she?”
“She does, and on you too. So don’t think I’m fine is going to cut it with her.”
She looked away. “She’s removing the compression bandage, Connor. I think she’ll realize I’m far from fine.”
“I know. And that’s why you’re here and why I’m here, honey.” He tugged gently on her hand to get her attention. “Will you let me come in the room with you?”
Despite thinking that she should only seconds before while walking through the clinic’s front door, she couldn’t do it. The thought of him seeing her arm made her feel sick. She jerked her hand away. “Of course I won’t. I’m quite capable of dealing with this on my own.” She shot to her feet. “I need to check on Glamma.”
It wasn’t until she was halfway down the hall that she realized she’d said to him almost exactly what her grandmother had said to her. If Glamma felt anything close to what she did at the thought of Connor being in the room, the last thing Arianna should do is invade her privacy. Her grandmother deserved to keep her dignity and pride intact. There was just one problem with that. Now Arianna had to go back to the waiting room and ruin her dramatic exit. She snorted at the thought. Witchy exit more like. She owed Connor an apology.
He looked up from his phone when she walked back to her seat. “Glamma kick you out?”
“No. I realized it wasn’t fair to do to her what I didn’t want done to me.” She sat and linked her fingers through his. “Sorry I snapped at you. You didn’t deserve it.”
He gave her hand a light squeeze. “It’s okay. It’s just…Look, I know you have issues with your burns, and I think it’s important for us to talk about them.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. It won’t change anything. I—”
“Arianna.” Dorothy smiled from where she stood beside the reception desk. “You can come with me, dear. Connor can join you if you’d—”
“No.” Realizing she’d almost shouted the word, Arianna calmed herself and her voice. “No, that’s fine. Thank you.” She glanced at Connor, forcing her lips to curve. “I won’t be long.”
She followed Dorothy to an examination room, wondering if she should offer an explanation as to why she didn’t want Connor with her. But it seemed like a lot of effort, and right then she didn’t have the energy. Nerves had taken over her body. Other than her grandmother, this would be the first time someone she knew saw her arm.
“Here, dear, let’s get you up on the table.” Dorothy gently guided her to the table and helped her up. “Would you like a glass of water?”
“I’m fine, thank you. I’m just a little overheated, I think.” Embarrassed that her nerves were obvious, Arianna focused on tugging the sleeve of her black leather jacket off her damaged arm and shaking it off her good arm.
“May I?” Dorothy asked.
Arianna nodded. “Thank you.”
“What a gorgeous top,” Dorothy said, admiring the hot pink ruffled shell Arianna wore with a pair of skinny-leg black pants. “Oh, and look at those adorable shoes.” They were black kitten heels adorned with hot pink bows.
“Thank you. Everything’s from Merci Beaucoup.”
“I’ve been saying to Ava that I have to get in there and check it out. Now I definitely have to. If my husband gives me trouble, I’ll tell him you’re to blame.” She patted Arianna’s thigh with a smile. “Ava is going to be a little bit so, if you don’t mind, I’ll remove your bandage, check you over, and then all that’ll be left is a quick chat with Ava. That way you’ll be ready to leave about the same time as your grandmother.”
“I’d like that, thank you,” Arianna said, relieved.
Dorothy smiled. “Ava thought you might.”
She was mortified they’d obviously talked about this, about her. “It’s just . . .” She tried to think of an excuse that didn’t make her sound weak or damaged but couldn’t come up with one. “I have a difficult time looking at my arm myself. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I feel like if my friends and family see it, they can’t unsee it. Every time they look at me, that’s all they’ll see.”
“Because that’s all you see.”
“Yes.” She nodded, then drew in a long breath through her nose and released it. “And I know exactly how that sounds. There are so many people, children even, who have to deal with far worse than me without half the support. I just…I’m trying. I really am. And it is getting better.” The campaign helped. Being busy helped. Having a purpose helped.
“It sounds to me like you’re being too hard on yourself. It’s been a little more than three months since you were released from the hospital. What you’re experiencing—the anger, frustration, grief—it’s all normal, lovey. But I can tell you, and Ava can tell you from personal experience, that the thing you least want to do is what will help you the most. You need to talk about how you’re feeling.”
Arianna shuddered at the idea of opening up to anyone. As though she sensed that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, Dorothy looked at her chart. “We’ll get your weight, blood pressure, and temperature out of the way first. Then we’ll check how your arm and tummy are healing.” Because they were third-degree burns and the area involved was large, the doctors had done a full thickness autograft, using epidermis and dermis from her abdomen.
Quickly and efficiently, Dorothy checked her weight (she could stand to gain a few pounds), temperature (normal), blood pressure (a little high) and updated her file in a matter of minutes, bringing them to the part Arianna dreaded most.
“Lie back and we’ll check your tummy first.”
Arianna did as Dorothy asked, turning her head to look at the wall when Dorothy lifted her blouse to bare her stomach and then gently palpated her abdomen. “No pain?”
She shook her head, wondering if Dorothy noticed her other scar. Ava would have. She would have been surprised, curious. It was another reason why Arianna preferred someone who didn’t know her to perform the exam. Other than her mother and grandmother, no one knew about the baby. She needed to keep it that way.
Dorothy smiled. “Everything looks good. You’ve healed well. Now let’s have a look at your arm and hand,” she said matter-of-factly as she began removing the compression bandage.
Arianna once again turned her eyes to the wall instead of looking at Dorothy’s face when she saw her arm.
“How are your pain levels?”
“Better. I just take something at bed now.”
Dorothy moved her fingers. “I notice you don’t use your hand at all. Have you been seeing your occupational and physical therapists?”
She ignored the first comment. Though she wished she could ignore the question too. “I did. In the hospital.”
“You haven’t kept your appointments since, have you?”
She shook her head. “At first I wasn’t feeling well enough, and then it was difficult to get there. Now it doesn’t seem worth it. My hand and arm are useless.”
“Of course they are. They’ve been severely injured, and there’s nerve damage in your hand. But that doesn’t mean you can’t eventually regain some—if not all—of your strength and fine-motor control. I understand it might have been difficult for you to get into Boston every couple of days, but we have excellent occupational and physical therapists right here at
North Shore General. I’ll have your appointments scheduled before you and your grandmother leave.”
She chuckled at what must have been Arianna’s peeved expression. “You really didn’t think we were going to let you out of here without doing everything we can to get our future mayor one hundred percent, did you?”
* * *
Connor sat in the clinic’s waiting room, working on his phone. It wasn’t how he’d seen himself spending his afternoon. He wasn’t completely surprised by Arianna’s reaction, but he’d held out hope for a different one. Her burns were an issue they needed to deal with before they moved to the next level of their relationship, and he was more than ready to do that. Most of the time she gave every indication she was on the same page. Unless she overthought it.
He looked up at the sound of her voice. She thanked Dorothy DiRossi and then walked into the waiting room with Helen “So, how did it go? You both good?”
“Perfect. The picture of health, my boy. I got the all clear,” Helen said.
“Great.” He looked at Arianna, who wouldn’t meet his eyes. “And you?”
“Fine, thank you,” she said, tugging her black leather sleeve over her bandage.
He really hated that word. “Good news all around, then,” he said, coming to his feet. “We should go out and celebrate. My treat.” He knew as soon as the words were out of his mouth that Arianna would veto the idea. She still didn’t like to eat in front of anyone. Even though she ate perfectly well, she needed help cutting her food.
“It’s been a busy few days. I’d rather eat in, if that’s okay.”
At least she wasn’t giving him the brush-off. “Sure. I’ll call you a cab.” There was only room for two in his Porsche. “I need to talk to Ava about one of my mom’s prescriptions, so I’ll be a few minutes. Decide what you want to eat and text me. Sound good?”
Arianna’s eyes narrowed. “Connor—”
“Fish and chips from Jolly Rogers,” Helen said, interrupting Arianna. She tucked her arm through her granddaughter’s. “We’ll get in a little campaigning before our ride arrives.”