Soon it was May 9 and time for the big event hosted by Lisa Wilkinson at which the overall Mother of the Year would be announced. Once again both families went along. All the finalists were so deserving. I thought that, while it would have been so nice to see Gloria win, it wasn’t really very likely. Even so, it felt very honoured to simply be there. The finalists had been professionally styled and made up and there was a red carpet leading up to the venue, which each finalist and their nominator walked along together, stopping to have our photo taken. We felt like Hollywood celebrities.
I wasn’t expecting it, so it took me a moment to realise that when the winner’s name was announced it was Gloria Nascimento. We all jumped up into a huge group hug and once again the tears started to flow.
For weeks afterwards, Gloria was sought out by media from around the country. She did countless newspaper, magazine, radio and TV interviews and I was often interviewed alongside her. From having heard endlessly how Cass’s story had too sad an ending for anyone to want to tell it, we now could barely keep on top of the requests to talk about her.
There was so much media coverage that the thing I had feared way back now happened: people who didn’t really know me and saw me interviewed or saw my name in a story about Gloria started coming up to me saying things like, ‘I didn’t know you had cancer’. I found it very uncomfortable, but then I thought about Cass and how she’d reached out to others even in the worst of times and never hesitated to tell her story if she thought it might help someone get through their own struggle, and I tried not to be so awkward about it.
I spoke to the Sony Foundation team again – surely now that we’d had all the coverage for Gloria’s win someone would want to run a story featuring the CASNAS footage. We thought Sunday Night might be interested, since I’d had a good reaction from the producer, Mark, who Cass and I had met at the Sony Foundation Corporate Partners Appreciation Evening. It was a hugely popular show with viewing numbers in the millions and they covered big stories, but we knew we wanted to give it a go.
The annual Sony Foundation sponsors’ cocktail event in late July finally opened the door to making it a reality. In recognition of the help Cass had given to others and her passionate belief in the need for You Can centres, the Foundation had decided to create a ‘Cass Corner’ in its new Sydney centre. On the wall would be a framed summary of Cass’s story with her picture. Gloria and Joe had been invited to this year’s sponsors’ event, so they could be presented with a framed copy of their own. It was a beautiful presentation, and Joe gave a very moving speech thanking everyone for the support Cass and her family had received throughout her illness and after her passing.
It was really nice to see Sunday Night executive producer Mark Llewellyn there again. I went up and said hello, hoping he would remember me. He did and had seen the coverage of the Mother of the Year award. He said he was sorry to hear about Cass’s death but was pleased to see Gloria’s win. I told him that I wanted to get a story about Cass onto his show. ‘You met her,’ I said, ‘you heard her and saw how special she was. We have a film put together by the Sony Foundation team, plus hours of raw footage. A story like this would help so many people.’
‘But do you have a vision of how it should be told?’ he asked. I assured him I did. ‘Okay, well come to my office at 9 am on Monday. We’ll look at the footage and you can convince me and one of my key team-members why we should do the story.’
I spent the weekend preparing, printing out material and honing my pitch. I brought my pieces of project cardboard as well as lots of photos of Cass and me at various points along our journey together. They gave me 30 minutes, and at the end of it said I’d convinced them: the story was a good one and would work well. I was thrilled, but we’d come so close previously that I didn’t want to get too excited until I knew for sure it would all really happen. Still, it was a positive sign when they got back in touch the very next day and connected me with one of the show’s producers, Mick O’Donnell, who lived in the Wollongong area.
He turned out to be one of the greatest blokes I have ever met. Mick would listen to me on the phone for hours and take me out to breakfast, patiently running through the process and figuring out how to get what we needed to do. In the end, Sally Obermeder was assigned as the reporter. She, too, was a cancer survivor and understood so much about our story from her own experience.
By now it was June. I’d been talking with the Nascimentos about what we could do to commemorate the anniversary of Cass’s death in five months’ time. I’d done a bit of research and seen some very successful fundraising walks, and there was a perfect spot at a park right next to the beach at Wollongong where similar events had been held previously. I spoke with the Sony Foundation team and they agreed it would be a great way to bring the community together to celebrate her life and raise money for an excellent cause. We would call it ‘You Can Walk 4 Cass’.
Work continued on the Sunday Night program and on the Walk, which was a major undertaking, and the weeks seemed to fly by. Suddenly it was October and time for the annual Wharf4Ward fundraiser. CASNAS footage was part of the material the Sony producers had put together to show on the big screens scattered throughout the event. I felt a huge deal of pride to be part of something so special, and it was a joy to be able to talk about Cass over and over to all the different people who came up and spoke to me about her.
At the Wharf4Ward fundraiser I met these two incredible girls, Christine and Ana. They were sisters, and if you didn’t know them they looked like twins at first sight! Except Christine had a late stage sarcoma and had relapsed several times. It was truly inspirational how much Ana cared for and loved her sister. Despite Christine’s dire odds, Ana was fiercely brave and did absolutely everything to cheer her sister up and support her in any way she could. Christine had dreams of becoming a fashion designer and when she’d finished her course, Ana volunteered to be on the runway wearing all the clothes Christine had created. Although Ana was terrified by the thought of modelling, her love for her sister was greater than any fear she had.
Being able to witness their relationship grow stronger in the face of adversity connected with me like nothing else before. It made me realise that the deep relationship I had with Cass exists everywhere. While it comes in different forms and circumstances, that unconditional love and support is one of the most fundamental things that binds us humans together. The special people in our lives who provide us with encouragement, inspiration and reassurance that we are in this together give us the fuel we need to burn to fight for another day.
We wanted to share their story as part of our Sunday Night piece, but sadly Christine passed away a day before filming was meant to commence. It was heartbreaking. A few days later, I attended Christine’s funeral with Sally Obermeder and Soph, who comforted me as I started crying uncontrollably. Although I’d willed myself to stay strong at Cassie’s funeral, I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I thought of Cass, of Dylan, of Christine and of the other countless young cancer patients who’d succumbed to the disease. I knew the only way to rise above what I thought was one of life’s great injustices was to instil the qualities and values of all these brave people into my own personal outlook in order to become the very best version of myself.
When the Sunday Night story was ready, everyone agreed that having it go to air the weekend before the Walk would be perfect timing. The show did a brilliant job of getting across how special Cass was and how close a bond we had. Cass would have been so proud and happy that the story made very clear the importance of setting up specialist youth cancer facilities.
The response was nothing short of incredible. The show’s Facebook page post of the story had more than 60,000 Likes in the week after it aired, was shared more than 4000 times, and attracted 5000 heartfelt comments from viewers. Gloria and I made a point of replying to each and every person who posted a comment. To top it off, the show was voted by viewers as one of the top two stories of all time in Sunday Night histor
y!
The inaugural You Can Walk 4 Cass event, held on 9 November 2014, was also a huge success. More than 1000 people, including Sony Foundation ambassador and former Wollongong girl Natalie Bassingthwaite, walked five kilometres around the beautiful parkland behind North Wollongong beach. There were musicians and dancers and food stalls at the finish, and it was a wonderful day of celebration. All of both Cass’s and my families took part.
The Nascimentos were overwhelmed with the response. Wearing the special green event T-shirts, they held pink balloons high at the head of the crowd, feeling both sadness at the loss of their girl and immense pride and joy at her legacy. It was an emotional day for everyone, and it was so touching to see the whole Wollongong community come out to support Cass. We’d hoped to raise $20,000 but instead reached a whopping $70,000, all of it going to a You Can brain cancer research project, which Sony Foundation created in Cass’s memory in conjunction with the Cure Brain Cancer Foundation. The project is called ‘New Cures for Brain Cancer’, which aims to find new technology to develop drugs that can target cancer cells, and is being led by Dr Jeremy Henson from the University of New South Wales/Prince of Wales Medical School. Sony Foundation has committed $80,000 to the project, which is working to increase brain cancer survival rates within the next decade. Cass would have been so pleased and proud.
In the months that followed I received a call from Illawarra Mercury, which had covered Cass’s story extensively, including the success of the Walk. But they weren’t ringing for an interview, they wanted to pass on the contact details for a producer of a Japanese TV show called Sekai Gyoten, which translates as ‘The World Astonishing News’. The producer had seen the Sunday Night story and had contacted the Mercury to track me down. I spoke to the producer and very soon they sent over a small crew to film an interview with me. Along with the CASNAS footage, it became a 22-minute segment about Cass and me and our campaign. The producers said millions of people in Japan watched it. It was such a fulfilling moment – even the supportive Sony Foundation team had said I was being too ambitious when I told them my dream to ‘take Cass to the world’, but now it had happened! It was one of the best experiences of my life.
There isn’t a person who met Cass whose life wasn’t improved by having her in it, even if their only contact with her was a few seconds of that gorgeous smile. And there isn’t a single one of us who loved her who wouldn’t do anything within our power to have another day with her. But we can’t. What we have to do instead is to honour her memory by living as she did, with a sunny, optimistic outlook and a generous, open heart that finds the greatest satisfaction in helping someone in need and being by their side.
Acknowledgements
I’d like to take the chance to thank everyone individually who has helped me over the years:
To Cass, my inspiration for pushing through with this book. I can never thank you enough for what you did for me, but I hope this is a small way to show my gratitude.
To my dad, Joe. Impossible really is nothing. Thanks for being my father but, more importantly, thanks for being my best mate.
To my mum, Pina. Your hugs give me strength every day. Thank you for being so strong for us all!
To my big sister, Mel. You are the one person in my life I know I can always count on. Thank you for your unconditional love and support. You’re the most amazing sister, but you’re going to be an even better mother.
To Bec. Thank you for making me so happy.
To my ‘Greek Mama’, Helen Sara! You are my absolute role model, and every day I strive to be as wise and as kind as you. You made me believe that I could achieve everything I so boldly set out to do! I can never thank you enough.
Thank you to Dr Patel, Dr Aghmesheh and Dr Vicaretti, for literally saving my life. You guys gave me a second chance of life and, hopefully, by writing this book it shows I haven’t been wasting it completely!
To my cousin Mitchel, our superstar goalie who left us too soon. Your calming spirit guides my every thought. Thanks for giving your cousin some strength when he needed it the most. #SoccerForever
Thank you to Sony Foundation, who have made all this possible.
Thank you to Barnardos Australia, for being such a great organisation helping thousands of children around the country and providing a platform for great women like Gloria to share their story.
To Hazel Flynn, editor/writer extraordinaire. I know we worked in the most unconventional way, but if we didn’t work the way we did then how would you have developed all that patience! ;) It’s been such an emotional journey and you know that more than anyone, but we finally got there in the end. Thanks for putting up with me!
To my too-many-to-name big family. I’d have to write another book to name you all. Thank you for your support.
To all the brave cancer patients out there. You are most definitely not alone. I hope this brings comfort to you and your fight. You guys are my heroes! Keep fighting, ’cause at the end of the day that’s what we’ve become good at!
To Cassie’s parents, Joe and Gloria. You guys raised an extraordinary young woman who continues to help people beyond her passing. I feel so privileged to have shared such special memories with your daughter.
To Cass’s siblings, Andrea and Chris, and her extended family. Thanks for all the support with the filming and the book.
To Sophie, CEO of Sony Foundation, who deserves a mention for dealing with me so calmly, when any other CEO would have stopped answering my calls! But more than that, thanks for being such a great friend and for always making yourself available to talk to me whenever I needed it.
To Sally Obermeder, our presenter, and the most genuine and loveliest media personality you will ever meet.
To Chris Reason, who is one of my main inspirations behind this book and everything I do with this story. Thank you for being so brave about your journey and giving others like myself an opportunity to share their own stories.
To Ali, the person who I decide to annoy the most. Thanks for your support of our initiatives throughout the past few years. Without your commitment, none of this would have happened!
To Mick O’Donnell, my chum! I hope our friendship lasts forever ’cause you are like a second father to me. I’ll always look up to you!
To Gerry, Tina and Jessica Cappetta, for being so supportive at work and the You Can walk! It’s been a pleasure getting to know you guys.
To Kirsty, for always being there for me whenever I need it most.
To Christine and Chantelle, for all the support.
To Elle, Karen, Sara and everyone at Sony Foundation – we did it! Without all the great work you guys do, none of this would have been possible.
To Mia Freedman, for being so kind to Gloria and me throughout the Mother of the Year experience, whether that be taking the time to listen to us or writing nice things about Gloria and Cass, or posting about our You Can walk! We really appreciate it.
To Nat Bassingthwaighte, for selflessly flying from Melbourne to be part of the You Can walk and being such a great ambassador for youth cancer.
To Ferrari Australasia! Thanks, Herbert, for taking me under your wing and showing me what real passion is. Thanks to Narine, Marsha, Sarah, Prue and Arpit, for being so welcoming to the Ferrari Family. Love you, guys.
To my mates, who were there from the very beginning – Adrian, Scaz, Tomic, Correia, James, Kondi, Cuda, Pete Prando. Those hospital visits that cheered me up and encouraged me to keep going were priceless. I’ll never forget them.
Thanks to Richard, Nicky, Loren and Stephan, for letting me copy your work at university while I do the book, haha.
To Julian, Brad, Farina, Paul, Adam, Barra, Bescos, Steffers, Zanetti, Damo and Ryan Franks. Thanks for being so supportive and understanding of my endeavours these past couple of years, whether that involves a call or text just to check up on me.
To Tania and Josh, the two most inspiring singers in Wollongong! Thanks for always offering an ear to listen to and a heart to under
stand. You guys are the best.
To Carina and Kristy, my two favourite girls! What would life be without our trips to uni? Such memorable times – thanks for everything.
To Anna Attia, Jess Olson, Adry, Hannah, Jason, Nikhil, Tessa and all the other Sony Foundation You Can champions out there. We have a special connection that can never be explicitly stated, only implicitly conveyed through our friendships! I really recommend other young cancer patients to be involved with the Sony Foundation You Can project, as you’ll meet lifelong friends and be involved in so many great initiatives.
To Kayla, Sara Saliba, Krystal, Eloise, Monique, Hannah, Ash, Monica, Natasha, Emila, Nicola – all of you have had been so supportive of me over the year. I really do appreciate it.
To all Cass’s friends (you guys know who you are). Thank you for being such great mates to Cass and for being so supportive in keeping her memory alive.
Thanks to Ryan Martins, for your support with the CASNAS logo and being such a great bloke in general.
Thanks to my university lecturers – to the Greek God of Marketing, Elias; to Reetu, my saviour on so many occasions and for giving the best hugs. To John Cantrell, for being so patient and understanding, and for being the all-round greatest bloke you’ll ever meet. And to Sanja Pupovac, for spending hours listening to my story when really we should have been doing our accounting homework!
To Nicola Evans and Kerinne Jenkins, for so kindly offering your time to listen to me and to make me believe. I hope this book finds you well. I couldn’t have done this without you guys.
To the most caring and understanding radiologist, Nadia, at Shellharbour Hospital. Thank you for being so compassionate! You really are one of a kind!
To Franca Ferraro, the nicest woman you’ll ever meet. You have been such a help over the years and I appreciate everything you do for me and for the Walk.
To Kristie, expert cannulator, if you can say that! You saved me from so much pain – thank you! And to all the kind nurses at Wollongong Hospital who helped me along the way.
By Your Side Page 25