Alfie looked at Loriana as if she were the most beautiful woman in the world, as if she were the most important and amazing creature he had ever laid eyes on and he asked nothing in return. But in return she was willing to give him everything. Then, sitting on the edge of a bath filled with wet electrical goods, with Alfie naked save for a towel, they kissed.
29 In the end everyone gets what they deserve
7:25pm, Morecambe University, the Great Hall. A man in a suit took to the stage and explained how the evening would work, the format of the debate, the topics of the questions and reminded people that the local TV news and local press were present so if people could mind their language.
The Great Hall had undergone, if not a dazzling transformation, then certainly a noteworthy makeover. At the back of the hall stood a pair of expensive, professional looking television cameras operated by men wearing headphones. To their right sat another man staring at images on a trio of little monitors, he also wore headphones. On the stage, now dressed by a substantial seaside backdrop with the slogan ‘Morecambe: Talking about your future’ painted on it, members of the television crew held microphones on long booms and spoke into two-way radios. There were powerful lights everywhere and what seemed like miles of multi-coloured cables, all taped together and snaking around the perimeter of the hall.
Most of the audience was already seated while a few people loitered in small groups around the edges, engaged in muted conversation. As the lights dimmed until a solitary spotlight was focused on the stage, the remaining seats were filled and an expectant hush descended over the crowd as the introductions began.
First on stage was the MP for Morecambe, Leslie Horsham Fox and his Westminster colleague who received jeers and cheers in fairly equal measure. Next came Mr Bhumbra and a churlish Brandon, announced as deputy leader, representing the Coalition Hindering Immoral and Murderous Politics. They were followed on stage by a member of Morecambe Round Table and, finally, the leader of Morecambe City Council. After they’d all taken their seats, poured glasses of water, shook hands and, in the case of the Council Leader, given a modest wave to the audience, the lights went up and the debate commenced.
* * * *
‘Loriana, I’m really not sure this is a good idea.’
‘’Fredo, of course it is a good idea.’
Alfie adjusted his position in the taxi, uncomfortable in a new suit bought for him by Loriana. They were on their way to the debate at the university, Loriana having received an invite from the Council as a local business leader and well respected – affluent – member of the community.
‘I’m not good in crowds; I’m not used to wearing a suit either.’
‘You look very handsome, dashing even.’ She smiled, scarcely suppressing a giggle. ‘Alfie, a few hours ago I had lost you, nearly lost you for good. Now look, we are together.’
‘Yeah, so surely we should stay in, just us two like, you know, get better acquainted…’
‘I want to show you off.’
‘Show me off!’
He caught the taxi driver looking at him in the rear view mirror and blushed.
‘I love you Alfie, I want to be seen with you, on your arm. I want people to see us together. I have spent too long locked away in my big house, alone, hiding. I do not wish to hide anymore.’
‘Well, when you put it like that, I suppose I can’t argue. You look amazing by the way, top notch.’
Loriana smiled again. ‘I’m pleased you noticed.’
When they arrived outside the hall, Alfie insisted that he pay the fare and they stood, hand in hand, in the darkness, Alfie breathing heavily.
‘We will stay an hour, then leave.’ Loriana decided. ‘Come, let’s make our entrance.’
Alfie faltered, this was a side of Loriana he had not yet experienced; self-assured as in her youth. It scared him a little, made him more aware of his own insecurities, but her confidence was infectious and with her at his side Alfie felt he could face anything.
* * * *
‘…your views on the government continually baling out the nuclear site and the electricity generators?’
‘MP for Morecambe, that’s to you.’
‘If I may interject.’
Mr Bhumbra raised his hand and began to speak before anyone could stop him. He looked directly into the nearest camera, a beaming smile on his face.
‘I would just like to say that when I came to this wonderful country from my native India and worked long hours year upon year until I stand before you now as the owner of Morecambe’s premier provider of Indian cuisine, I received no handouts or government aid and I do not see why the electricity generators should either.’
A few members of the audience chuckled, a section applauded. Brandon, already maddened because he’d spotted Sharada in the crowd looking very cosy with an especially striking bloke, turned to glare at Mr Bhumbra. His face wore a mask of malice.
Lee Etchman was positioned at the very back of the hall with three other members of Modhubon staff, waiting for a signal from Mr Bhumbra to move round to the table and uncover the food to be served after the debate. Apparently Mr Bhumbra wanted the aroma to fill the heads of the crowd well in advance of the end of the debate to allow their anticipation and desire to build. In the meantime, however, Etchman had been sampling the free wine and it was certainly hitting the spot.
He saw the doors of the hall swing open and was dumbfounded to see his estranged wife, looking radiant, glide in with the park keeper on her arm. She was smiling, they both were and, as Etchman watched with drunken envy, they found seats and then kissed before turning their attention to the stage.
* * * *
Kuldeep’s obsessive compulsive nature had led him to stalk Lee Etchman. Since his love for Tania had no other outlet owing to their estrangement, Kuldeep had grown determined to eliminate Etchman as an obstacle to being with Tania.
Fortunately for Etchman, Kuldeep had dismissed many of the more serious and potentially life threatening ideas he’d had in favour of more passive methods. The down side of this approach was that Kuldeep’s plot seemed to have passed unnoticed by his quarry. Etchman would probably never appreciate quite how close he had come to being stabbed when he had first walked into the restaurant as an employee.
Now, finally, Kuldeep felt the time for decisive action was upon him. He was watching the debate from the balcony overlooking the main body of the hall. He was also observing Etchman and could see his movement becoming increasingly laboured from drink despite previous warnings that he was on duty and as such representing Modhubon. But, more importantly, Kuldeep had just seen Tania Streatham enter the hall with her parents. They were followed by another couple, also late arrivals. Kuldeep counted the seats and noted that Tania was seated three rows from the front, four seats in from the left.
Kuldeep’s view of life and the world around him meant he had considered his relationship with Tania a great deal more than someone without his condition might. He was certain that, if he and Tania were to have a calm and reasoned discussion then any problems could be overcome, but to date all attempts at reconciliation had been rebuffed. Perhaps, he thought naively, if he could see off the attentions of Lee Etchman, stop him from distracting Tania, then she would see how committed Kuldeep truly was and all would be well.
After all, Tania was different to the other girls Kuldeep had met at Morecambe High School. Yes, he could appreciate how attractive she was and had told her so but what he really valued was her open and frank manner. Kuldeep was very intelligent and had developed, moved along the spectrum to a point where he knew when people were pandering to him or talking to him as if he was special, stupid.
Tania, like Kuldeep’s sister, Sharada, did not do this. She didn’t treat him with caution as if he did not understand and she was not in awe of his academic abilities either. Aside from his mother, Kuldeep had never felt so utterly comfortable with another person. Tania had, until recently, accepted Kuldeep and he, inevitably, had accep
ted her and was completely uninterested in her reputation. Therefore, the notion that his relationship with her might be at an end was utterly unacceptable to Kuldeep and demanded action.
* * * *
An hour later and the Great Hall was oven-like, in terms of the debate raging and the increasing temperature from several hundred bodies and enough hot curry to feed them all.
Mr Bhumbra waved his hand in the air to attract the attention of a camera. He was revelling in the spotlight, commanding attention, airing his views, speaking often when he had little to offer, merely for the sake of talking.
‘With regard to the last point concerning education standards, I’d like to add that my own children work very hard in everything they do to ensure success. This is an essential part of their character instilled in them by my example as I worked over many years to establish myself as a high quality restaurateur who hopes to expand nationwide in the very near future.’
At last the debate was brought to a close by the man in the suit who had made the introductions. He announced that the cameras had stopped rolling and that the curry buffet was open, along with some much needed drink. He also suggested that the main doors be opened to permit some fresh air to circulate.
As the sweltering crowd flocked over to the free food and wine, Mr Bhumbra stood on the stage, grinning, immensely satisfied with how the evening had so far developed.
‘I suppose you’re proud of yourself.’
Mr Bhumbra turned to face an irate Brandon and smiled.
‘Oh yes, I thought it went exceptionally well, don’t you?’
‘No I fucking well don’t!’ Brandon shouted, advancing on the elated Mr Bhumbra.
‘Really, I fail to see why; everyone seemed to be very involved in proceedings although I have to say your contribution was a little muted.’
‘You hijacked the whole flaming debate; you interrupted every five minutes just like you do at the meetings, just like you do at the restaurant, rattling on about your history, your family, like anybody gives a fuck!’
‘Now, Brandon, I hardly think that’s fair.’
‘Oh really, when we were supposed to be discussing the state of the monarchy you said that as a fellow immigrant you felt everyone deserved a chance, and that you’d proved anything was possible by building a successful Indian food business.’
‘Of course my dear boy, the history of your precious Royal Family is no more English than my own; they too came from a foreign land and look how well they’ve done for themselves.’
‘I can’t believe you’re comparing yourself to the bloody Queen, I really can’t. And as for CHIMP, I don’t think you mentioned the group once.’
‘Well, I have to admit that may have slipped my mind, in the heat of the debate you understand.’
‘Debate! What debate? You used tonight as a chance to spout your opinion at people who were too polite to bugger off home.’
‘Brandon, really, such language. Do you speak to my daughter in this way?’
‘And that’s another thing,’ Brandon fumed. ‘You only joined the group to keep an eye on her, admit it.’
Brandon advanced again on Mr Bhumbra, who continued his retreat, his hands raised in a gesture of placation.
‘Really Brandon, you must control yourself. I admit my interest in your group was minimal but I assure you I came to the meetings to monitor you as much as her. That is why I offered you work in my restaurant. But look how my influence has aided CHIMP, membership has more than doubled. ‘
‘I can’t believe I ever got involved with you, you’re a bloody disgrace.’
Brandon took another step forward and Mr Bhumbra another step back which, unfortunately for him, was a step too far. His left foot touched nothing but air and the owner of Morecambe’s finest Indian restaurant fell backwards off the stage and landed awkwardly, stretching his spine across the front row of chairs some five feet below, where he lay unconscious.
* * * *
‘Crikey, that Indian fella’s just taken a right tumble!’ Alfie cried as he and Loriana left their seats.
‘Somebody should call an ambulance, he may be badly hurt.’
Those still in their seats or in the front half of the hall turned their attention to the hullabaloo on the stage and witnessed Mr Bhumbra’s spectacular fall. Immediately there was a surge forward as people crowded to see more.
To the rear of the hall Tania and her parents made their way past the food and straight to the refreshments where, much to her discomfort, Tania spied Etchman handing out drinks with unsteady hands and a mournful expression on his face.
‘I’ll just have a lemonade thanks,’ she said to her father as she backed away.
‘Too right young lady. I’m not having you getting a taste for alcohol just yet.’
Tania hurried away but was able to hear Etchman’s raised voice as he recognised her parents.
‘Well, well, the Streathams, fancy seein’ you here.’
She was unable to hear her parents reply, if any, before Etchman continued.
‘So then, that lovely daughter of yours with you is she? She’s a temptress that one.’
Etchman laughed and then stopped abruptly as Mr Streatham leaned across and said something in his ear. Etchman backed away and, evidently deciding he was due a break from serving others, helped himself to a glass of wine and headed straight for the exit where Tania was loitering.
‘Well, well, well.’ He grinned lecherously. ‘Look who it isn’t. How are you Tania darlin’?’
‘Hiya Lee, alright.’ She smiled back nervously.
‘Look, all that business in the hotel, our little falling out, what say we put all that nonsense behind us, start over…’
Etchman’s eyes were half-closed and his head wobbled from side to side as he spoke, the words spilling over each other.
‘I don’t think so, look Lee I’m not interested okay, I never was.’
‘Course you are, we were great together. ‘Ere, ‘ave a drink.’
He thrust his glass towards Tania, slopping most of the contents over her feet.
‘Christ Lee, you’re pissed. Look, I’ve got feelings for someone else, it took you to make me realise just how strong those feeling really are.’
‘Bollocks,’ Etchman drooled. ‘You know you wan’ it you slag.’
He laughed again and wrapped an arm around Tania’s neck, holding her firmly against him.
* * * *
Kuldeep was still on the balcony watching the developments below. The instant Mr Bhumbra fell from the stage he rang an ambulance from his mobile. He gave the name and address details in a perfectly calm and clear voice because, he reasoned, there was no benefit whatever in panicking.
With the call made, Kuldeep returned his attention to Etchman who was bothering Tania. He was able to see from Tania’s expression that she was unhappy and it was then, suddenly, that Kuldeep thought of a likely strategy to win her back. He had been stalking Etchman for weeks, plotting to try and make Tania see they should be together. Now, at last, he had a plan. He’d seen such things in films, had read about it in books and so, brimming with confidence, he hurried down the stairs to the main part of the hall.
* * * *
‘Come on,’ Alfie urged. ‘Let’s go shall we? I don’t want to stand around rubbernecking.’
‘Yes okay, ‘Fredo, we can be of no help I suppose.’
Loriana and Alfie side-stepped to the end of a row of chairs and then manoeuvred their way through the groups of people. Most of these were gawping at Mr Bhumbra’s prone form but an increasing number were turning towards the developing hubbub in the doorway of the hall.
‘Oh no,’ Alfie said in disbelief. ‘Him of all people.’
‘I shall speak to him.’ Loriana decided, slipping her hand from Alfie’s.
* * * *
At that precise moment Kuldeep appeared and strode purposefully towards Lee Etchman, tapped him on the shoulder and coughed. In Kuldeep’s mind he was a cowboy, the sheriff,
a hero, standing up for justice.
‘Excuse me; I don’t think the lady’s interested.’ He said in a composed, clear voice. ‘Perhaps you should step away.’
Etchman whirled around, took a few moments to focus on the boy in front of him then laughed cruelly.
‘Fuck off kid; we’re not playing games over ‘ere.’
‘I’m not going to ask you again,’ Kuldeep’s voice was loud and firm. ‘Leave the lady alone.’
‘Or what?’ Etchman snarled.
‘Lee, stop being such a dick.’ Tania cried.
‘Or I’ll have to make you.’ Kuldeep announced. He moved a step nearer his drunken foe who stood a good six inches taller, was a lot heavier and possessed many years more experience than Kuldeep could ever hope to match.
‘Kuldeep, what are you doing?’ Tania asked fearfully.
‘Don’t worry ma’am,’ he responded. ‘It’s all under control.’ Kuldeep nodded his head slightly as he had seen sheriffs do in the movies.
Etchman pushed Kuldeep away, a dismissive gesture full of contempt. But Kuldeep was ready, anticipating such a clumsy move, and grabbed Etchman’s hand, twisting it and yanking Etchman violently away from Tania. Unfortunately for Tania’s brave, but inexperienced, saviour, Etchman’s momentum bundled him into Kuldeep who fell to the floor where Etchman proceeded to rain blows down upon him.
Tania screamed which only served to alert those still focused on Mr Bhumbra’s plight to this latest fracas. Fortunately for Kuldeep, Mr Streatham, incensed by Etchman’s behaviour towards his daughter, plunged into the melee and dragged Etchman away from the boy.
‘Right you perverted bastard, I’ll teach you to lay your hands on a daughter of mine.’
Mr Streatham head-butted Etchman on the nose; there was an audible crack, followed by a torrent of blood.
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