“What do you plan to accomplish today?”
“Not a whole lot. I just want Luke to get used to me. We’ll get into all the rest of it soon enough.”
“If you run over, I pay overtime.”
“We’ll talk about it if it happens.”
“Mikala, I am paying you for this. I won’t do it any other way.”
Gazing into Dawson’s eyes, she saw the integrity he’d always possessed, fairness that always made him a good leader. But it wasn’t integrity or fairness that practically mesmerized her as she stared into his eyes. It was something so much deeper than either of them were going to act on.
Yet even as she thought it, she noticed the tiny scar along his jaw that he hadn’t had as a teenager. She also caught a glimpse of a few silver strands in the hair at his temples. There was a swirl of chest hair in the V-neck of his shirt. In high school she’d seen him at their favorite swimming hole in his bathing suit and thought no boy in their class had looked as good.
Pushing all those memories aside, she said, “I’ve got to go in to Luke. Just trust me, Dawson.”
“I’ll try. I’ll be up in my suite. Call my cell if you need me. In fact, call my cell when you’re finished and I’ll come back over for him.”
Dawson was hovering again and he had to break the habit. “He’s my last appointment today. It might be better if we just walk over to the bed-and-breakfast and he comes and finds you.”
“Right. I guess I’m supposed to give him space.”
As she turned toward the studio, Dawson caught her hand. His fingers folded around hers, and she thought, No, don’t touch me. I feel too much when you do.
“I’ll talk to you later,” he said as if he expected results from her meeting with Luke.
She didn’t go over the ground rules again. She’d already told him she wouldn’t be able to report what Luke said without his permission. Yet she nodded, slipped her hand from Dawson’s and went inside.
When she returned to the studio, Luke didn’t pay her any mind. She went to her desk and picked up her legal pad, then crossed to the doorway of the music room. “Where would you like to sit and talk? In here? Or in my office?”
Luke sat at the piano with his fingers on the keys, yet he wasn’t playing.
“I don’t want to sit either place.”
“I know you don’t.”
He brought his hands down on the piano into two loud chords. Mikala quietly sat in the chair beside the piano bench and waited.
After a while Luke asked, “Aren’t you going to say something?”
“I know you’ve seen counselors before.”
“A psychiatrist and a psychologist. What are you?”
“Didn’t your dad tell you?”
“He just said you’re an old friend he went to school with, and you’re a music therapist. But I don’t know what that’s got to do with anything.”
“Your dad told me you can memorize pieces on the piano without a lot of trouble. That’s pretty cool.”
“I play them and I remember them.”
“Would you play something for me?” She was fully prepared for him to say no.
“All right,” he agreed, and she thought maybe he was going to cooperate. But then he played random notes, discordant sequences, a melody with only a hint of a pattern. When he was finished, he looked at her as if he expected her to scold him.
“How did you feel while you were playing?”
His mouth opened in surprise as if he hadn’t expected the question. He clammed up, took his hands from the keyboard and just settled them on his jeans.
“This isn’t about what you play or you don’t play,” she said, responding to his silence. “We’ll have another session later in the week, after you get accustomed to school here. I’d like to know what kind of music you like. So it would be terrific if you make me a list—singers, styles, individual pieces. Do you have any sheet music?”
“Some,” he muttered warily.
“Good. I’d like to take a look at it.”
“What if I don’t want to play the piano?”
“Would you like to learn something else?” She gestured toward the violin, the guitar, the oboe.
“Maybe I don’t want to play anything. Maybe I don’t want to talk about anything.”
“Well, then I guess it will be really quiet in here. We’re going to spend some time together, Luke. We’ll do whatever works. You can tell me what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling. If you don’t want to tell me with words, you can tell me with music or even a tambourine. If all else fails, I’ll bring in a set of drums and you can beat away some of that pent-up anger you’ve got inside of you.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” He sounded surprised at her perception.
“I can hear it in some of the things you say, and I know you’ve been getting into fights at school.”
“Those people I saw before—Miss Bracken, Dr. Johnston. They said they’d make the anger go away. But they didn’t.” He stared down at his sneakers rather than up at her and mumbled, “I don’t even know why I’m mad.”
“Usually when someone feels mad, they feel sad or hurt first. Then they don’t know what to do with that and they get angry. That might be something you can think about till our next session.”
His eyes finally met hers, eyes that were so much like Dawson’s. “I didn’t want to come here. I don’t want to be here.”
“I can understand that you don’t want to be here. But you are, and I’d like to help you make everything a little better.”
“By using music?”
“Exactly.”
He looked curious about the method. If curiosity was all she could get from him for today, she’d take it.
* * *
When Mikala walked Luke into the kitchen, conversation there stopped. Dawson had obviously been talking to Anna, but the silence wasn’t a welcome introduction to supper.
“Everything smells great.” Mikala knew the best tactic was to try to get everything back on an easy footing again. The soup was still simmering in the crock pot and corn bread sat on the counter. All of the aromas permeated the kitchen while Mikala could hear burgers sizzling under the broiler.
“Are you hungry?” Anna asked Luke.
Again that shrug that could be as frustrating as silence.
Anna smiled anyway. “There’s a powder room down the hall. Why don’t you go there and wash up. Ketchup or mustard for your burger?”
“Both,” Luke tossed over his shoulder as he left the kitchen.
Once the kitchen door had swung closed, Dawson looked at Mikala expectantly.
She went to the sink where he was standing and kept her voice very low. “Expectation is all over your face. You can’t look at Luke like that when he comes back from a session.”
“I can’t ask what happened?”
“Wouldn’t you rather he tell you on his own?”
“I doubt if that’s going to happen.”
“Wait until it does.”
“Give me a hint?”
Although Mikala was used to dealing with worried parents, she found discussing this with Dawson even harder. “You really have to give Luke time.”
“I don’t want the situation to get worse,” he admitted.
“Give your life in Miners Bluff a chance to work.”
When Dawson frowned, she knew he was impatient. He just wanted his life and Luke’s to be settled again. She couldn’t promise him it would get settled anytime soon.
With the pause in their conversation, Anna said casually, “I was telling Dawson about the ice skating rink, The McDougall Center. I told him you enjoy skating there and thought they might, too. Great Sunday afternoon activity.”
“I thought we
could check it out tomorrow,” Dawson said. After Luke returned to the kitchen, conversation at supper started slowly. Luke ate his burger while Anna made small talk about Miners Bluff. After the burger he took a look at the soup, ate a spoonful and then another. Soon his spoon tapped the bottom of his bowl.
He looked up at Mikala. “Do you see people at night?”
Mikala had no idea where this was going. “Sometimes I have an evening session, but not every night. What were you thinking about?”
“The piano.”
She caught on immediately. “Would you like to use it?”
Luke gave a little shrug.
A shrug could mean so many things, but right now she knew it meant he’d like to, but didn’t know if he should ask.
“I usually keep the studio locked unless I’m there. But if it’s free, you can go in and play as long as you’d like.”
“Cool,” he said with a nod.
Dawson looked at his son and then at Mikala. “There’s an ice skating rink near Moonshadow Mountain.” He asked Luke, “What would you think about trying it out tomorrow afternoon?”
“I haven’t been ice skating very much.”
“Phoenix has an indoor rink. We’ve gone there a few times,” Dawson explained. Then he turned back to his son. “Ice skating’s like riding a bike. You don’t forget how. You’ve got great balance. I can tell when we play basketball. I thought it would give both of us a way to work off some energy until we can get a place with a hoop.”
Luke seemed to think about it, and then his gaze targeted Mikala. “Do you ice skate?”
“As often as I can when the rink’s open.”
“Do they have a game room?” Dawson’s son asked.
She had to smile. “Yes, they do. And a snack bar. They’ve got great hot dogs with everything on them.”
“You could come along,” Luke offered, offhandedly as if it didn’t matter. Maybe he wanted her to act as a buffer.
She didn’t want to crowd this father and son who really needed to talk to each other. “I’ll be going to church in the morning with Aunt Anna, and then visiting with a friend afterward. But I can meet you there.”
“How about if we meet there around three?” Dawson suggested.
Mikala looked directly at Luke. “Would that be okay with you?”
Luke pushed his soup bowl aside, nodded, then asked, “Can I be excused? I want to call Granddad.”
Dawson took his cell phone from his pocket and handed it to him. “Go ahead. I’ll be up soon.”
Luke took the phone and exited the kitchen.
“I have to be going, too.” Anna pushed her chair away from the table. “Silas is picking me up. He’s taking me to one of those old movies downtown.”
Pleased Zack Decker’s father, Silas, and her aunt were “dating” regularly, Mikala told Anna, “I’ll clean up. You go get ready.”
Before Anna left the kitchen, she turned to Dawson. “It will be nice having you and your son around.” Then she smiled and left Mikala alone with him.
Feeling fidgety, Mikala decided cleaning up was easier than sitting there staring into Dawson’s green eyes. “If you’d like dessert, I’ll wrap up two pieces of pie and you can take them up to your suite.”
She went to the pie holder to escape being too close.
But Dawson followed her and put his hand on her shoulder. She went stone still. The heat of his touch radiated through her sweater down into her bones. Her awareness of him must have shown in her eyes when she turned to face him because he quickly dropped his hand to his side.
“Are you sure you want to go tomorrow?” he asked. “Luke put you on the spot.”
“I like to skate. If I start getting in your way, I’ll make a quick exit.”
Dawson’s features relaxed a bit as he smiled. “I think he likes you.”
“Not necessarily. He’s in a strange place with people he doesn’t know,” she pointed out. “I was straight up with him about what we’re going to do in our sessions, so maybe he sees me as a port in the storm right now. But when I start probing and he begins to feel uncomfortable, he might not like me so much.”
“Who are you visiting with tomorrow?”
The question was so off-topic she was speechless.
Dawson smiled again and gave a shrug that reminded her of Luke’s. “You can tell me it’s none of my business. I’m just curious. Is it a date?”
Just how much did she want Dawson to be involved in her life? She was going to become involved in his, that was for sure. But this didn’t have to be a two-way street.
Seeing her obvious hesitancy, he said, “Never mind.” Turning away from her, he pulled two dishes from the cupboard, ready to cut his own pie.
Impulsively she caught his arm.
He stopped moving, and she stilled. When they gazed into each other’s eyes, time suddenly stopped. She wasn’t sure what she saw on Dawson’s face—longing, desire, something else. She felt her heart ticking fast, heat infusing her cheeks.
Releasing her hold, she took a deep breath. “No date tomorrow. I’m meeting Jenny. She and Zack are back from their honeymoon. He’s videoconferencing about his new project tomorrow afternoon, so she and I are going to catch up.”
A few beats of the kitchen clock ticked off the silence before Dawson asked, “Are you dating anyone?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Why?”
“I have a busy life.”
He cocked his head and studied her. “There are a lot of single guys in this town, some from our class—Noah Stone, Riley O’Rourke, Brody Hazlett, for starters.”
“Noah and I are friends. As chief of police, he’s also involved in several after-school programs for children, so sometimes we work together.”
“And Riley?”
“Riley has partnered up with Clay in his wilderness guiding business. He’s a busy guy.”
“Then there’s Brody.”
“I think Brody was interested in Jenny, but when Zack came back, that put a damper on all his plans.”
“I’m sure there are other men in town who would like to ask you out. Why don’t you go?”
Having analyzed her own life many times, Mikala understood she hadn’t felt wanted as a child. With a father who left before she was born and a mother who hadn’t wanted a child at all, she’d always been racked by the insecurity that she wasn’t good enough—or pretty enough. Then when Alan had dumped her, it had reinforced it all. She looked down at her sneakers and felt all those old insecurities rising up again. “I just don’t date much, Dawson. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“But why? Mikala, you’re one of the most attractive, put-together, intelligent women I know.”
When she looked up at him, she couldn’t keep the sadness from her voice. “Look, you really don’t know me anymore. I don’t do one-night stands. I don’t go out just for the— Don’t you get it, Dawson? I’m just not like that. Can we please drop this?”
She wasn’t going to confide in him about the failure of her one serious relationship—not when she was attracted to him, not when she was going to treat his son, not when they’d both be sleeping under the same roof. He looked as if he wanted to kiss her again. The problem was, she wanted him to. But that was not going to happen.
Slipping away from his hands and from him, she murmured, “I’ll get that pie ready for you.”
In a way she wished they could stay strangers. Then she wouldn’t feel so vulnerable…then she wouldn’t feel as if letting him into her life again would only cause her heartache.
Chapter Four
Dawson was impressed with the ice skating rink, but he had to admit, he was more impressed with Mikala. She was an attractive sight, clad in black leggings and an oversize teal sweater with a zigzag
black stripe. Something inside him made him want to kiss her senseless and not stop there. He wasn’t sure what that was.
Shoving those thoughts and visions aside, he concentrated on the open lobby with its fireplace, chair groupings and an almost lodgelike feel. He noticed Luke looking around the area with a fair amount of interest, too.
Mikala motioned to the rink beyond the lobby with its floor-to-ceiling windows and a view of Moonshadow Mountain.
“It’s like a resort,” Dawson noted. “Did you say Angus McDougall put up the money for this?” Brenna McDougall’s family had always had money, though she’d behaved as down-to-earth as everyone else.
“He started the fund drive with a good sum about six years ago. Groups and organizations ran bake sales and craft fairs and that kind of thing to add to it. He wanted the community to feel as if they were putting in their share, I guess. And I think it worked.”
Dawson asked Luke, “What do you think?”
“It’s an ice skating rink,” his son answered offhandedly, but Dawson saw Luke’s gaze go to the rink and the kids and adults of all ages who were skating there.
“Are you game to try it?” Mikala asked Luke.
“Sure, why not. It’s not as big as the rink in Phoenix, and the music’s lame, but I’ll try it.”
Dawson and Mikala exchanged a look. The “lame” music came from a speaker system that was playing soft rock in an attempt to appeal to all ages.
“Let’s rent skates,” Dawson suggested. “If you like coming here, we can get you a pair.”
“Whatever,” Luke responded and started for the rental desk.
Dawson hoped today was going to go well for Luke. Moving here was all about changing the pattern of their lives…to learn how to be a family with just the two of them. When he thought about the family they’d been, he realized that they’d been lacking in so many ways. That had been his fault. He and Kelly should have gone to counseling and worked on building the intimacy that just hadn’t been there all along. Now he wanted good communication to be the cornerstone of his relationship with Luke. But Luke had to be open to it.
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