Mikala picked up her mug, took a cautious sip, then finally said, “I think it will be good for him to know that you have friends, too. Ask him about it. If he seems okay with the idea, tell him he can reach you at any time on your cell phone. That should give him reassurance if he needs it.”
“Solid advice, as usual.”
She tilted her head and smiled, the morning light shining through the window emphasizing the glossiness of her black hair. He had a sudden desire to run his fingers through it.
Instead he asked, “Do you want to go together?”
That widened her eyes a little and made her take a quick breath. “You mean catch a ride together?”
That’s exactly what he meant, right? “Sure. It would make sense.”
She repeated slowly, “Yes, it would make sense.”
If she kept looking up at him like that, he was going to kiss her again. Knowing he should keep a safe distance, he poured more coffee and carried his mug to the table. “I’d better get back to work.”
She studied him thoughtfully. Had she guessed what he was thinking? What he’d like to do? His bedroom was only two flights away and neither of them was ready for that.
“Did Luke mention our session on Saturday?” she asked.
Surprised she brought it up, he answered, “No. When we went skating, I thought he might. But most of the time he just acted as if I wasn’t there.”
She let a few thoughtful seconds pass before she set down her mug again. “Can I ask you something personal?”
For her sake or for Luke’s? It didn’t matter. “Yes.”
“Before your wife died, did you feel any of this distance between you and Luke?”
That was a question easily answered. Relieved, he said, “No. Even though I worked a lot, whenever he and I were together, we had fun. We could talk.”
Mikala nodded as if that confirmed something in her mind.
To give her another piece of the puzzle, he revealed, “Yesterday, when we were driving home in the snow, Luke got pale and tensed up. I think he was afraid we’d be in an accident like his mother was.”
“Did he say anything?”
He told her about their brief conversation, ending with, “I assured him I was there to listen if he ever wanted to talk about anything.”
“Right now, that’s all you can do.”
“I hate feeling powerless.”
“I know.”
Mikala did know. Not only about his worry over Luke, but about his need to reconnect with old friends. Suddenly Zack and Jenny’s party seemed like a terrific idea to him. “I think Luke spending an evening with Anna, and me spending an evening with friends could be good for both of us.”
But then he gazed into Mikala’s dark brown eyes again and knew a night with friends meant a night with her—and he was looking forward to it way too much.
* * *
In the Rocky D’s immense living room on Saturday evening, Mikala studied a new Western artist’s painting Silas Decker had acquired. But when she heard Dawson’s deep male laugh, she couldn’t keep from looking his way.
Jenny came up beside her. “Your history is showing.”
Mikala inhaled slowly then let out the breath as she turned to face her friend. She could feel the heat in her cheeks, and she just hoped Jenny was wrong. “No, what you’re seeing is surprise. Dawson hasn’t laughed much since he came to Miners Bluff. It’s good to hear it.”
Jenny glanced toward the group of men—Dawson, Clay, Riley, Noah and Zack, all classmates, not all of them friends in high school but mature enough now to appreciate each other’s company.
“You’re glowing,” Mikala said, changing the direction of the conversation.
“Why shouldn’t I be?” Jenny returned. “I’m a very happy newlywed. All of our friends are here tonight as well as a few of Silas’s. He misses your aunt but knows she’s sitting with Luke.” Jenny nodded toward Katie, another former classmate, and Celeste. “We’ll have to have a girls day out sometime soon.”
Mikala would like that. Being with Jenny and Celeste was like being with sisters. It would be easy to bring Katie into their circle. She’d only returned to Miners Bluff a few months before the reunion.
Silas came into the room then and strode toward the group of men. He laid his hand on his son’s shoulder. Zack looked at his dad and smiled.
“Real change there,” Mikala noted.
“Which proves it’s never too late for a father and son to reconnect,” Jenny agreed happily.
Counting on that, Mikala had lots of hope for Dawson and Luke. But there was something holding Luke back from Dawson, and it was more than this move to Miners Bluff. He hadn’t said as much, but she could sense it. She just had to figure out what it was…help him figure out what it was…then give him the opportunity to express it in his own good time.
She’d used xylophones with him on Saturday, doing a call and response exercise. She’d played a few notes, then he’d played a few notes. He’d caught on quickly. He’d been so intent on not doing anything wrong at first, but finally he’d loosened up and even laughed a couple of times. They were still getting used to each other but he was letting his guard down a little more each session.
“Are you and Dawson here on a date?” Jenny asked, bringing the conversation back to where they’d started.
“Oh, no,” Mikala quickly responded. “We just came together because it was convenient.”
Jenny gave her one of those girlfriend looks. “Really? Why don’t we just see about that.”
Jenny had a mischievous glint in her eye and that always worried Mikala.
“Be right back,” her friend said with a sly smile.
Mikala wandered to a table that had been set up with hors d’oeuvres. Removing the lid from one of the chafing dishes, she poked a meatball with a toothpick and popped it into her mouth. She hadn’t eaten supper. Her stomach had been twisted into knots with the idea of coming here with Dawson. She kept telling herself it wasn’t a date, but she’d gotten dressed up as if it were a date, taking care with makeup, wearing a fitted turquoise Western-fringed top, skinny black pants and boots. The turquoise and sterling pendant at her neck had been a birthday present from Aunt Anna, and she’d clipped a turquoise barrette in her hair.
She needed to relax, just enjoy the party and the company of her friends.
But when the music started, she turned, searching for Jenny, and found her at the CD player adjusting the volume.
Then it happened…that bit of tummy-somersaulting magic. Her gaze met Dawson’s across that room and a little trill rippled up her spine. Something must have happened to Dawson, too, because he started toward her just as Jenny and Zack began dancing in the space allotted. Silas’s friends joined in and by the time Dawson reached her, there was nothing to feel self-conscious about as she took his hand and he led her onto the floor.
He didn’t hesitate to pull her in. After all, they were old friends, weren’t they? Now old friends who’d shared a few mind-boggling kisses. They were at a party so why shouldn’t they dance?
She could rationalize the moment away or she could look into Dawson’s eyes and know a bond was forming between them that was richer and deeper than anything she’d experienced before. She was so aware of Dawson holding her, his fingers on her back, his hand enclosing hers. He was so tall and male and indescribably sexy. Her body seemed to want to melt into his.
He murmured close to her ear, “You really look beautiful tonight. And you smell as good as you look.”
She couldn’t help but smile at that and she returned honestly, “So do you.”
A bit of surprise showed in his eyes and then a crooked grin spread across his lips that took her back to their dance on prom night when possibilities and dreams had been limitless. The melody was slow and
romantic and they seemed to lose all sense of time and place. Dawson held her a little tighter and she could feel he was aroused. She remembered every moment of their time on the bed in that staged house, and what had almost happened there.
With those thoughts playing through her mind, she was totally startled when the song ended and an up-tempo tune took its place.
Dawson seemed as shaken out of the time warp as she. He arched his brows. “Would you like a glass of wine?”
“That would be great.”
Dawson’s hand went to the small of her back as he guided her toward the wet bar. There he poured each of them a glass of white wine and handed one to her. She took it, trying to keep her hand from trembling. He’d always had that effect on her.
As she took a sip, he said, “Zack and his dad seem to be getting along really well.”
She looked their way. Faster dances didn’t seem to be Zack and Jenny’s cup of tea, either. Jenny was speaking to Katie while Zack, Riley and Silas seemed lost in conversation.
“It’s great to see, especially after so many years of disharmony between them.” The whole town knew that Zack had left the Rocky D to pursue his career in California without Silas’s approval.
“My dad and I lost contact for a while.”
“You did?” Mikala asked, hoping Dawson would go on.
Dawson nodded to a leather and suede love seat across the room where no one was seated right now. Mikala followed him and sat beside him. As they sank into the leather, their thighs brushed. Dawson didn’t move a muscle so she stayed put, enjoying the close feel. He was wearing a steel-gray sweater tonight with a V-neck and a collar. A few hairs curled in that V, and she longed to brush her fingers against them.
“My dad and I lost touch after my mom and I moved to Wisconsin. My family wasn’t what it seemed to be, especially not my senior year in high school.”
“Every family tries to keep up appearances.” She remembered what he’d told her—appearances count.
“I suppose so. My parent’s marriage wasn’t solid before then. That year my dad’s lumber company lost so much money he had to file for bankruptcy.”
“Oh, Dawson. That had to be so hard.”
“It was. Not just financially, but for my dad’s pride and for my parents’ marriage. They tried to hide everything from me for a while, but of course they couldn’t. I don’t know how I kept up my grades that year, or acted as senior-class president. I guess I was trying to be the perfect son so they didn’t have anything else to worry about.”
Dawson had been good at whatever he’d tried. Had he felt if he excelled at everything, life at home would be better? She asked a question she’d wanted to ask ever since Dawson had returned. “What happened after the prom? You left so suddenly.”
“The day after our senior prom, my grandfather fell down a flight of stairs. Mom and I drove to Wisconsin and Dad didn’t come with us. He went to stay with a friend in Phoenix. He moved around at first and I didn’t have an address for two months. We didn’t have cell phones then, so it was a while before he was in touch. My mother’s the one who told me they were getting a divorce.”
Mikala couldn’t help but cover Dawson’s hand with hers. He squeezed her fingers as he accepted her understanding. “I think my dad was ashamed to be in contact with me. I guess he thought I’d think less of him, or something like that. Of course, I didn’t. He was still my father. Once he did call me and we talked, I made sure he knew that.”
When Mikala squeezed his hand again, Dawson felt that complete understanding between them he found so rare. “I figured out from our conversations that my dad was great with handling people and was a pro at managing crews. But as far as business management went, he was at a loss. After he was licensed, he tried to start a construction company in Phoenix, but he had trouble getting it off the ground. Numbers were more my thing. I’d always been good at math. I knew the lumber business from tagging along after him as a kid. So I went to school and earned a business degree and apprenticed with a general contractor. Then I joined Dad and took hold of the operational running of the business while he handled the personnel. It worked. After I moved to Phoenix, we were closer than we’d ever been.”
He paused for a few moments, then continued, “After I married…he and Kelly didn’t get along real well,” Dawson admitted. “She always said he was too rough around the edges, and Dad— He once told me he didn’t think Kelly would make a great mom. He could never explain exactly why, and he was all wrong about that. When she was with Luke, she was there for him. She might have gotten tired of the day-to-day routine of a mom, but I don’t know what woman wouldn’t.”
What woman wouldn’t? A woman who desperately wanted a child of her own, Mikala thought. She’d been coming to that point for the last couple of years. Yet she kept silent.
Dawson let go of her hand and asked, “So I know about your mom. She’s a clothes designer. You’ve never talked about your dad.”
After a few moments’ hesitation, she decided to let her walls down a little more. “My dad was a couple of years older than my mom. She was eighteen and he was twenty. But he was a biker and wanted no part of being a father. The summer after I graduated from high school, I tried to find him. Aunt Anna helped me. We found out he’d died in a bar fight a few years before.”
This time Dawson was the one giving comfort. He angled toward her. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “My father was an ideal, a fantasy, sort of like still believing in Prince Charming. I know there are no fairy tales. But once we were looking, I had hoped for a father-daughter reunion.” Now she glanced toward Silas. “If I’m lucky, Silas could end up being my uncle. I think we could have a great friendship.”
“Do you think he and your Aunt Anna are serious?”
“I do.”
Dawson ran his fingertips over the ends of her hair. Although he was barely touching the strands, she could feel what he was doing, and she felt her body warming, thinking about him touching her in more intimate ways.
The conversation in the room grew louder as more guests arrived. Dawson rose to his feet and held out his hand to her. “Come on. Enough serious talk for one night. It’s a party. Let’s mingle.”
* * *
Two hours later, Dawson and Mikala walked to the door of the B and B side by side. All night he’d felt as if this were an odd kind of date. After all, they’d gone to the Rocky D together. They’d danced, spoken with friends and come home together.
They’d made small talk on the ride home—about who they’d chatted with, what had happened, how everyone had matured. Yet underneath it all, whenever the conversation lagged, whenever his gaze met hers, the air heated and their breathing quickened.
At the kitchen door Dawson said casually, “I had a good time tonight. It seems like forever since I talked and laughed…and danced without worrying about the world crashing in around me and Luke.”
“You deserve a break.”
“Doesn’t everyone?” The end-of-January cold nipped at his cheeks and his nose and his ungloved hands. Yet all he could really feel was the heat he and Mikala seemed to generate. All he could really feel was the deep awareness in his gut every time he was with her.
“You know what I mean,” she said, looking up at him with those beautiful brown eyes.
“You think I have to give myself permission to relax?”
“I can tell you’ve been reading self-help books,” she teased with a laugh.
He chuckled. “Who knows? Meditation could be in my future.”
“I think music is a form of meditation—at least it is for me. When I’m playing an instrument or getting involved in a song, I let everything else fall away. I think that happens with Luke, too. That’s why he’s always listening to his iPod and likes to play the piano.”
“I didn’t as
k you about your last session with him.”
“I’m proud of you,” she joked again. Then more seriously, she offered, “He’s starting to open up more, Dawson, and physically shaking off some tension. That’s a start.”
For him, so much had begun with conversation with Mikala. His final decision to move here had been rooted in their exchange at the reunion. “Why do you stay in Miners Bluff?” he asked.
Her cheeks were becoming pink with cold. “For the same reason I listen to music, I guess.”
That perplexed him, and she could obviously see that.
“I can set my own pace here. If I had a practice in a city, I’m afraid it would overtake me. My work would control me.”
“Why do you think that?”
“I can tell when I speak at conferences, or when I’m invited to colleges to give workshops. I almost become a different person. I get so hyped by the atmosphere, the excitement of talking to others about what I do, a chance to teach the benefits of music therapy, that I go from morning to night without a break. There is such a need for music therapy—with autistic children, with Alzheimer’s patients, with end-of-life situations—that the need for what I do could become overwhelming someplace other than here.”
“You know yourself.”
“I know my limits, though that’s not the only reason I stay. Aunt Anna is the biggest reason. I would never leave her. She never left me. She’s the only one who didn’t.” Suddenly Mikala turned away as if she regretted saying too much.
But he clasped her shoulder and nudged her toward him. “I imagine your aunt would say you have to find your own life with or without her.”
This time when Mikala gazed into his eyes, there was a hint of vulnerability there. “Yes, that’s what she’d say. But she’s getting older and even if her relationship with Silas works out, I’d still stay here. I owe her so much, Dawson, and I don’t want her to ever worry that I won’t be here when she needs me.”
The emotion in Mikala’s voice made his throat tighten because he understood how she felt. His own dad was that important to him, too. Leaving Phoenix was the toughest decision he’d ever made.
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