by M. Evans
Shaun thought about it while he brushed his teeth and dropped off the Browns at the Super Bowl, and went into the medicine cabinet to grab a couple packages of antacid for his dad. It was to save himself and his dad some pain over the next few hours that they'd be sharing in close quarters.
It only took a half hour to get to the outskirts of the property which was abundantly thick with heavy oak and pine trees. The cabin was safely secluded from everything else made by man. In this case, they just wanted the opportunity to fill their freezer with deer that they always ate happily throughout the year. The location was twenty miles from home but it was an hour and a half walk up a steep hillside with full packs and guns. Half way up the gravel road it turned into a worn path. They made it up there in under the usual hour and a half. His Grandpa had built the place and a shelter underneath it when the Cuban missile crisis was going on in the 60's, and he had brought most of the heavy equipment up here during the winter by himself with a home built wood sled and a horse.
Frank stopped at the outside of the cabin and set his pack down in the snow. He was the cautious type, so he spent a few minutes with a flashlight walking the perimeter of the cabin. He checked that all the window padlocks were in place. Each one had a shutter that locked tight in the middle. The door had three separate padlocks, and a bar that went through the door which wouldn't budge until they were all removed. Between Frank and his dad, their ingenuity took care of any thieves unless they were really destructive. Frank deemed it was safe, removed all the locks around the house, and they went into the dusty, musty cabin, stomping the snow off of their feet.
Shaun walked around taking it all in. If Ellie, Greg, or Tina could have seen him all decked out in his camouflage and carrying a gun around, they wouldn't know he was the same guy. He took a deep breath triggering all the memories of this place which came rushing back. He was thinking of coming up here when he was a kid long before his mom had passed and things were still good. His Grandpa, a giant of a man, would carry him halfway up the hill on his shoulders and the rest of the way on a sled. He looked at the wood burning stove, thinking of his Grandpa lugging it up the hill with a horse so they could have hot food. There were long chats about good old days which Shaun couldn't relate to but always enjoyed listening to. His Grandpa would go off about any topic and his dad nodding his head and smiling, knowing there wasn't a damn thing in the world he could do. His Grandpa would always toss tootsie rolls to Shaun knowing his son, Frank, would do nothing about it.
Shaun unfolded his cot and laid his pack next to it. He unzipped his camouflage coat, slid it off and looked around. The frigidly cool air drifting through the open door felt good on his sweat soaked back. After walking up that hill it was all he could do to still breathe. He smiled, thinking what would happen to the other guys on his wrestling team if they had attempted to walk up that hill with no free hands and a pack full of food, drinks, and clothes. The coach wouldn't have any issues at all with getting them to meet their weight goals.
Frank knelt down by the wood burning stove, grabbed some of the wood he kept stocked and some newspapers. Every year before they came up to hunt, Frank would make a special trip with some of the canned goods, drinks, and matches. The cabin had a stockpile because he always brought up extra with him. The canned goods lasted so long that Frank figured it wouldn't hurt to have a place with fresh safe food, water, and anything else you might need. There was all the protein you could eat just running around the woods. He never told Shaun there was always more than enough food, and he didn't really need to pack his own backpack tight with supplies.
Frank emptied some of the vegetables and frozen stew meat he had brought and set it on an old cast iron pot which just got better cooking over time. He looked at Shaun who was staring around and said. "That's supper on the go. Let's get set up and go see if we can fill our tags early and relax the rest of the weekend."
Shaun laid his leather shotgun case on the bed and unzipped the camouflaged gun case. It had the classic wood stock and the blued barrel he'd gotten so used to. He loaded the gun and then checked the remaining ammunition. He looked down while his dad watched and verified the safety was on. He looked up and found his hunting gloves and beanie and put the heavy camo coat on over all of this and zipped it up. He knew that in a few hours he'd be happy to be dressed in so many layers.
Shaun smiled finally, getting a little excited at the prospect of hunting. "I'm all ready to go. Let's bag 'em and tag 'em, dad."
Frank took a deep breath, relaxing a little and feeling good that maybe Shaun was finally getting into it. "I'm ready to go if you are." He knew he needed to talk to Shaun soon but thought maybe he'd do it later tonight while they were sitting around the cabin. There would be plenty of time to talk things out then. He didn't want to wait too long in case things didn't go well.
They headed out and Frank got the door shut after throwing an extra log on the fire to make sure the stew had plenty of heat to keep it cooking. He breathed in the cold hoping the sun would soon help heat up the day to thirty degrees. He showed Shaun a spot where they anticipated pretty high traffic and found himself a spot fifty yards down with plenty of trees to cover his place.
Frank knew it would be all or nothing for them on the deer, because that's how it has always been--lots of movement or not--but typically where there are tracks there are deer. The day was relaxing and he needed it. He watched and waited the first hour for something to come but nothing did. He unlatched his pack and took out his medical journal, the one which he had kept since the beginning. He looked through it and saw his notes from the soldiers and lost himself in thought the rest of the afternoon.
Shaun lost interest in holding his gun and staring at the woods in a little less than a half hour. He took out his journal, a pen and his music player. He leaned up against the tree, not feeling too much heat, and went to work on his thoughts. His writing ability was handicapped with the thick thermal gloves. He stayed warm with Ellie on his mind. He thought even if his dad decided to start dating Karen more then maybe it wouldn't be that bad. If he could spend more time with Ellie, she would forget about Greg. He had other plans and he thought maybe if he told her about Greg's intentions with Tina then maybe he'd increase his chances. He didn't want to screw up Greg's life--he looked up to him--and wouldn't want him to think anything less of him. At the exact same time, as much as he thought he would be the perfect guy for Ellie, he also knew if he told her about Tina then maybe he would be breaking her heart at the same time.
He shook his head and thought about how hard it was to be a teenager and thought how easy adults have it. They got to work and didn't have anyone telling them what to do. They have lots of money and get to be with the girl they liked and probably got laid like every night. He couldn't wait until he had his own place and didn't have anyone telling him what to do. He was pretty sure that he'd be a journalist, if there was such a thing as paper publication by the time he becomes an adult. He checked his phone and looked at his signal. It was weak, but hopefully just enough to get a message to the outside world. He pulled up his contact list, hit Ellie's picture giving him the finger, and hit the envelope icon to send her a text. He typed out: "Help, trapped in woods, dad has a gun, no deer, worried will be eaten by the old man, sos, lol."
He sat there for a while and a new message popped in from Ellie saying: "Hey better save some of that battery for the rest of the weekend, or you're going to be off the grid completely, hope you guys are having fun, I'm out with Tina and Greg wish you were here."
He heard in the distance the loud weekly city tornado sirens going off. Thinking it must be noon, he laughed because it was the most excitement that happened on Saturdays. He read his phone again and the "wish you were here" made his day. He sat back smiling and shot one last message out, saying: "Hey maybe we can hang out Sunday evening depending on when we get out of the woods."
After listening to nearly all his music, Shaun looked down at his watch. It had been hours--the time was 5pm. He peeke
d around the corner of the tree being sure to be quick about it. He didn't want a deer running this way and having his dad blow it to kingdom come. Of course he knew sharp shooter Fox wasn't going to miss and hit his only son, but he didn't want to take a chance. He decided to wait.
Eventually Frank stopped thinking, wiped a few tears convinced that if his late wife knew he had a chance to be happy and he could help Shaun by having a mother that she would be fine with him moving on. He went through a grieving period over not being there for her, but was still reminded by Shaun anytime they got into a verbal battle
Frank looked at the sun getting ready to set for the evening and knew that by the time they got back to the cabin that it would be dark. There were mountain lions rumored to roam the hills here. He knew the shotgun would take one out, but didn't want to think about what would happen if one came up from behind or jumped out of a tree. There'd be no way for Shaun to be ready for something like that. He walked up the path. "Hey, killer! You ready to go get something to eat? I'm starved! I should have thrown some snacks in my pack for lunch! I don't know what I was thinking ... I guess I was just too excited to get out here."
Shaun looked up at the movement in his peripheral vision and saw his dad's mouth moving. He pulled out his ear buds. "Huh?"
His dad couldn't give him a hard time. He hadn't been paying attention to anything else all day but the thoughts of Marie and Karen, trying to decide how he wanted to let Shaun know exactly what he was thinking, and talk about the changes which were going to be coming soon. He repeated, "You ready to go get something to eat? We better get back before it gets dark. No reason to break out flashlights for a mile walk back if we can avoid it."
Shaun pushed up, grabbed his gun from resting against the tree, and they started their walk back. "I didn't see anything but squirrels and birds all day," he commented. Did you see any when you were up here last month scouting and bringing up supplies?"
His dad smiled at how observant his son was even though he pretended how little he really cared. "Well I saw this deer highway, but I didn't see any actual deer.... But where there are tracks you know there's deer! We just need to be patient. We still have Sunday and I'm feeling a little ill, so if we need to then maybe we should stick it out for Monday."
"Wait!" Shaun managed, startled. "You're purposely going to miss work? Wouldn't that go against, like, your personal honor code or something?"
Frank shook his head. "I'll find a way to sleep at night, I'm pretty sure. I've put some overtime in."
Shaun nodded and sarcastically added, "I have a feeling the Principal would say that you're full of it, and there's a good chance they'd have a heart attack if you mentioned a teenager was using a firearm ... then something about how didn't you know that guns kill."
"Yes, guns kill every day, but it's at the hands of the untrained or those too weak to handle life's issues without one."
"Geez, Frank! Settle down! I was just pulling your chain!"
"I know you're kidding, boy, but there are some things someone should know how to do. Being able to hunt for your own food shouldn't be something that those ignorant teachers are able to complain about, or think lesser of you for. If the world went to hell in a handbag, anyone who couldn't fend for themselves would be dead. No one's going to support a society full of people who can't contribute or are unwilling to take care of themselves."
They arrived back at the cabin just as the sun was going down, and brought inside their solar powered lanterns. They hit the power switches lighting up the ten by fifteen foot space. There was plenty of room for two guys, with two cots, a table, and a stove to cook on and heat the building by. If needed, there was a lavatory outside anywhere you chose. Shaun went over and laid out his gear next to the cot, and found a nice big fat log to stuff into the hot embers which were left from burning all day. He grabbed a hot pad and looked at the stew concoction that his dad had made before they left. It was more like a steak mush at this point. It had cooked and boiled and stewed all day long.
"How is the stew looking? I could eat a pig's asshole right now I'm so damn hungry!"
Shaun looked at his dad. "Please tell me this is our regular stew meal and not the alternative."
Frank, taking a minute to enjoy, this tapped a finger on his chin. "You know, I can't remember.... Did I pack pig assholes or beef? I guess we'll have to find out! Better grab a small bowl for your first round of supper, Shaun."
Shaun shrugged. "Well, at least you brought a loaf of bread and some fruit cocktail cans."
Frank grabbed the cast iron pot and carried it over to the table. He laid out a couple bowls and filled them to the top. Steam poured out of them along with delicious smells. "Come eat some beef stew, Shaun. Your being hungry, cold and in the wilderness is no fun. We'll save the pig for Sunday breakfast!"
Shaun took a big inhale of the steaming stew in front of them and went to take a giant bite of it. His dad stared at him, smiling. "That's some hot food son...! Might want to let it cool off."
Shaun attempted to juggle the food in his mouth finding a spot the scalding hot stew wasn't going to blister, and he finally decided the only thing he could do to save himself was to take a giant drink of water. He chugged a few gulps out of his bottle and made some panting noises. He picked up a piece of bread, tore off a chunk and started snacking on it, waiting a bit more patiently now for the stew to cool.
Frank took a piece of bread and passed it back and forth in his hands. "Shaun, I've been meaning to talk to you, but I figured I'd wait until we got to go on our trip this weekend."
Shaun looked up. Questions he kept to himself were betrayed in his eyes, like: Why did you wait? Was it because you were worried about what I'd do if I was home? Would I leave if I was home? Would I hide in my room? He nodded and just stared. If he wanted to talk they would talk.
Frank thought maybe Shaun would say something and after a minute of awkward silence he managed, "So you're aware that Karen and I have been seeing each other the last few months, right?"
"Yeah, I know you two are dating. I've seen her leaving in the morning, and you coming home in the morning. I can put two and two together. I'm not a kid anymore, dad."
Frank looked at his son seriously. "You haven't been a kid for a long time, bud. I know you see her leaving and me leaving at different times of the night, and I want you to know that isn't the only reason we date.... We truly love each other's company. I haven't been this happy since your mother was in my life, son, but since she isn't I think she would have wanted me to find someone new."
Shaun scowled. "Well, I wouldn't know what she'd want, but she wouldn't want you to replace her."
"Shaun that's impossible! There is no replacing someone you loved and lost, but there is finding someone that you love again. I'd say only by God's good grace that I was able to find someone this wonderful again."
Shaun didn't want to make his dad feel bad but he countered, "Don't tell me that you don't know how much I like Ellie! You're putting me in such a messed up situation, dad!"
"Shaun you're going to have girls come in and out of your life. I want to spend the rest of my life with one that I think will be a great mother for you and a wonderful wife for me. Ellie and her mom are two wonderful women. I need you, or at least I want you, to tell me that you're going to be on board, that you're going to be able to handle this, son. I can't make a decision this big on my own. Unfortunately, life sometimes has big decisions. When life goes normally and you don't lose the ones you love, then you don't ever have to ask your son for their permission to marry someone."
Shaun just stared at his dad. "Married!? You're going to ask her to marry you already!? I just thought.... Well, hell! I don't know what I thought you were going to say! I can't believe you're going to marry her! Jesus, dad! And how dare you tell me I will have all these girls in my life! Ellie is wonderful! She won't have anything to do with me as a boyfriend because your intentions are to make her my freaking sister!"
Frank hadn't r
ealized, of course, how deeply his son felt for her. "Shaun, I had no idea this is what was going through your head. Why didn't you say something before now?"
Shaun threw up his hands in disgust. "When would I tell you, with all the hours you put in at the lab and all the time you spend with Karen? Well, hell, this is probably the first time we've spent together since the Principal's office, or Christmas when they both came over! But I wouldn't really call that father-son time!"
Frank slammed his hand down on the table hard. "Look! You need to relax! I'm sorry you have a crush on a girl you think you want to date. Life isn't about what ifs. It's about what you do, not what you daydream about! Life is too short--you need to grab what you want in life and take it by both hands! It's not likely that I'm going to stop seeing Karen, so I don't really have an answer for you with Ellie, but you're a smart kid and I'm sure you'll figure something out."
Shaun put his head down, and started eating his stew and bread. His dad just stared at him, feeling like he was stabbing his own son in the back, but at the same time knew he didn't have that many opportunities in life, and this was one that he was going to take. He thought about continuing the conversation and trying to resolve some issues, but knew there was a good chance he'd just be adding gas to an inferno. They ate the rest of their food in silence and went to their own cots afterwards.
Shaun wrote furiously in his journal, trying to think of what Ellie would say when she heard the news. Sadly, he didn't think she would have the same reaction--she liked his dad, more than the memory she had of her own, and he didn't think she was faced with the dating conflict issue.
Sunday, the two woke early. Shaun stayed in the cabin until his dad left to go hunt. He wrote the entire morning and packed up all of his gear. He was half tempted to walk down the snow covered hill by himself and wait by the truck. He thought about it and realized, even though he was upset with his dad, not getting a deer this season wouldn't make him feel any better.