“It isn’t fair.”
I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. “I just thought the choice was made already. But then I came back to Bellfield, and it’s like it just happened. It still hurts.”
“You have to follow your heart,” Hailey said. “And you have to make your own happiness. It took me a long time to figure that one out.”
“That’s easy for you to say. Your heart didn’t point at your mortal enemy.” I was mostly joking. Between growing up in foster care and her parents’ addiction, Hailey had faced challenges that I couldn’t even conceive of in my worst nightmares.
She laughed. “No, my big ol’ stupid heart, it just pointed at my best friend’s brother.”
I faked an exasperated moan. “Don’t remind me. You and my brother. So gross.”
“Seriously,” she said, “you can’t spend your whole life waiting for things to be perfect. When I started having feelings for Zane, I thought you’d murder me. If I’d let that keep me away, I never would have found my true love. And I think Will is yours.”
“You always have to sound so reasonable,” I muttered. “It’s very annoying.”
I sent my love to the rest of the family before hanging up. I couldn’t believe I was considering upending my whole life when it finally felt like things were stable again. I hovered on the edge of the sidewalk, staring at Will’s truck where he’d parked by the edge of the lot to get some rest.
Steeling myself, I stepped off the curb and marched across the asphalt. And if he says he doesn’t love me anymore, that he’d rather try some long-distance relationship with Jessie, then at least I tried. I couldn’t live with the uncertainty hanging over me forever.
Just before I reached the median separating the two halves of the lot, someone called out my name. I glanced behind me and saw Sam jogging over. He stopped a few feet in front of me, his hands shoved into his pockets. “Sky.”
“Sam.”
“I have to say something.” He straightened and reached for my hand. I let him take it even as dread settled into the pit of my stomach. “I don’t know what the deal is with you and Will, but I think I know what you’re about to do. And I can’t stop you from wanting to be with him if that’s what you truly want, even if it does complicate everything for the rest of us.”
“Sam,” I repeated, lifting my fingers slightly until we were just barely touching. “You—”
“Please. Just let me finish.” He intertwined our fingers again. “I need you to know that there are options before you choose. Because I’ve loved you all my life. California? The business? The money? It was all because of you.”
It was a speech worthy of a movie, but I was so tired and confused, my feelings for Will still raw. “Where is this coming from?” There’d been a time right before I’d fallen for Will that I thought maybe Sam was the one for me. I’d admitted my feelings to him at Zane’s birthday party. “When we were teenagers, you weren’t interested.”
“It wasn’t that.” Sam winced. “I was so nervous. I had no idea how to talk to you, so I just didn’t say anything. I wanted to tell you that I liked you back. I never thought you’d want me, some poor brat, when you were this heiress. And selfishly, if you’d told your father, I was afraid he’d fire me. I needed the job.”
I oscillated between wanting to protect my friend and wanting to be fair by him. With bad news abounding lately, I’d gotten plenty of practice ripping off the Band-Aid, but that didn’t make this easier. “I’m sorry. You know that you will always be one of the most important people in my life. I meant it the other day when I said that you’re family. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t change my feelings for Will.”
Sam nodded, his brow furrowed. “I respect that, and I hope that this doesn’t make things weird between us. After I saw you two together this morning, I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away for much longer.” He let my hands go. “I had to try.”
As Sam walked back towards the hospital, I rehearsed what I would say to Will. But when I looked at where his truck had just been parked, the space was empty. Laughing, I dug through my pockets for my keys. “Figures. He always did like to play hard to get.”
Without the immediacy, my energy started to wane as I drove through downtown Bellfield after leaving the hospital. I still wanted to see Will as soon as I could, but my body was protesting. I was going to drive right by Black Gold Creek anyway, so I dropped by the house to shower and grab a short nap. It also gave me the chance to choose a better outfit than the dirty clothes I’d been wearing for an absolutely repulsive amount of time.
And while Sam had been content to profess his love in a similar state, something about planning to see Will made me want to be beautiful. I was no longer the young, lovely girl he’d known in high school. I had a few anger lines to go with my laugh lines—I was a Wentworth after all—but I didn’t mind seeing the proof that I’d paid hard dues.
I dressed casually but with purpose, letting my hair hang loose like I’d used to. I left the radio turned off as I drove to Will’s trailer, still grinning a bit at having to turn down Eli’s repeated offers to drive me.
When I arrived, Will was in the same chair as before, this time with a cup of coffee instead of a beer. He used his free hand to poke at a small campfire he’d lined with chunks of broken cinder block. I eyed the extra chair he’d set out. “Were you expecting me?”
“Maybe.”
I took a seat, and he poured me a mug of something from the pot in the fire. “I don’t think coffee is a good idea this late.”
“It’s hot chocolate,” he said, smiling as I took it. “Thought you might need something special after today.”
I almost burned my tongue off tasting it. The smell of it carried me to simpler times when all of us—me, Will, Hailey, Stan, Crystal, and Sam—would hang out by the lake in the summer evenings. I’d always had a fickle relationship with coffee the same consistency as mud, so Will had often brought along homemade hot chocolate mix. “Thank you. For the hot chocolate and the help.” I didn’t want to imagine what today could have been like under different circumstances. “We couldn’t have saved Crystal without you.”
“Without me?” Will laughed. “You were the hero today. But that didn’t surprise me at all. You always were the most capable person I’ve ever known.”
“Oh, stop. You’re just flattering me now.”
“I mean it,” he insisted, the firelight casting his face in a serious glow. “Even when we were teenagers, you could handle anything.”
I wished that I believed that. It was in Will’s nature to see the best of everyone, but that wasn’t necessarily the truth. There were dozens of failures burned into my memory. “Tell that to my dad.” Or my ankle. “I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish as much without you. You always looked out for me.”
“We looked out for each other.”
I’d been so confident in the parking lot, but now the words wouldn’t come. It felt like my head was on fire, either from stress or the fatigue of the past few days. “I’ve missed you.” That was simple enough to say. Friends missed each other, too. “Can I just embarrass myself right now?”
Will tilted his head in confusion. “Sure thing.”
I rubbed my Black Gold Creek tattoo, wondering if it would be the only part of it I’d get to keep. I wanted to do right by my mother, but maybe my promise hadn’t aged well. Would she have wanted me to give up love for that ranch? “Every time I see you with Jessie, I feel like I’m dying inside. I know that’s not fair. It’s not right of me to say. But you have no idea how much I just wish things could have been different with us. That you and I hadn’t blown our chance.”
Will picked up the stick he’d been using to stoke the fire and rolled a chunk of burning log around. For a horrible moment, I thought he was going to ask me to leave. His hands trembled. “I don’t want to misunderstand what you just said.” He raised his eyes to mine. “Did you just say that you’re jealous of Jessie? Because she’s j
ust a friend. Never been more.”
“What?” It didn’t register his words. “You’ve been all over each other this whole time.”
“I think that’s your imagination,” Will mumbled. He stood and continued messing with the fire. “I’ve never felt that way about her.”
“But Cooper said you’re dating.”
He chuckled. “Cooper saw us together in town a couple of times. Cooper needs to mind his business.” Will straightened and took a step closer. I could hardly see him in the smoke. “What about you and Sam?” he asked. “Anything going on there? I’ve heard rumors.”
“Just more of my dad’s meddling. I haven’t felt that spark with anyone yet.” I rose to my feet, feeling like I was underwater and fighting a current. My breaths were short and quick. Will Blythe. “I have one question I need your help with.”
“Anything.”
“Do you ever think about our past together?”
Will dropped the burning stick into the dirt and moved closer. Seven feet away. Six feet. Five. Two. “Every day.”
I was afraid to move, afraid to speak, afraid that he’d snap out of it at any second. “Me, too,” I whispered.
He raised a hand and ghosted it along my cheek. “I have one question I need your help with.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
Will bent his head until his lips were only an inch from mine. I could almost taste him, the memory of his touch still so vivid even after all these years. “Can I?” he asked, his fingers catching stray wisps of my hair.
“Yes.”
We crashed together like two fronts of a Texas storm. His lips were on mine as we stumbled towards his trailer, our fingers making short work of jackets and shirts and the rest of our clothes. Again, I felt like I couldn’t breathe as my knees bumped into the back of his bed, and we went tumbling into the sheets. I gasped for air, swept away in the riptide of desire and love and wanting all of him.
Will cradled my face in his hands, trailing kisses across my nose, my throat. “How did I ever let you go?”
I sunk my nails into the curves of his shoulder blades and pulled him closer to me. “Don’t you dare ever do it again.”
Chapter 12
When I woke up in Will’s trailer this time, I knew exactly where I was. More importantly, we were alone, with no secrets or tragedies left between us. A flicker of doubt entered my mind, but the sight of Will quickly snuffed it out. He was still asleep beside me, his chest rising and falling in an easy rhythm. I loved how vulnerable he looked and wondered if other women had ever seen him this way.
I watched him for a few minutes, resisting the urge to run my hands over his bare body. When we dated in high school, there had always been some restrictions on our time together. An early morning on the ranch. The risk of discovery. We’d had to steal our moments. But now, for the first time, I wasn’t in a hurry to be anywhere else.
I felt more at home there, in that tiny room, than I ever had in my father’s mansion or my luxurious apartment in New York. Those latter places had been all about posturing and flexing power. They were accessories, not homes.
But Will made me feel like I could let go of all that and just be myself without having to fret about what others might think. It had always been that way with us. If Will Blythe loved me, why care about a single other person’s opinion?
I slipped out of bed and started making coffee. I set out a pair of mismatched mugs on the counter by the pot. It had been ages since I’d had a reason to need coffee for two.
While I waited, I looked around again, seeing Will in so many of the small details I hadn’t gotten the chance to notice. His boots were on a rubber mat by the door, his various hats on the shelf above the armchair. He didn’t have much, but it was obvious that he loved the few possessions he’d kept.
When I turned back to check the coffee, I noticed the corner of something sticking out from the top of the refrigerator. There were streaks in the light film of dust on top, as though Will’s fingers had been there. I stretched and pinched the paper between my fingers.
It was our prom picture. The amount of coordination to get us together had been nothing short of legendary. I smiled at the memory, the way Crystal and Stan had spent half the evening waiting for my father or Will’s to storm the place. We’d had cover dates and cover stories. Creative seating arrangements.
It had all been worth it right up until the moment that my dad caught us. My brothers had called his punishments petty, but they were so much more than that. They were personal. Selling my horse, banning me from ranch activities. Dad had wanted to twist the knife. And now, he was practically threatening to disown me.
After enduring that, I didn’t know if it was possible to feel that unencumbered around Will again. With the experience that comes with age, we understood that it was a game for keeps and not just for fun. I returned the picture to its place before the sadness could overwhelm me.
I thought about the day I’d gotten the ranch logo tattooed on my wrist. I’d savored the pain, the sensation of the ink carved into my skin. It was something Dad couldn’t take, couldn’t steal, couldn’t sell. I wondered if it would be my last keepsake of the ranch. If I had the strength to turn my back on my father and my family for Will. The choice hadn’t felt quite so muddled last night.
I poured our coffee and carried the mugs back to the bedroom. Will was awake by then, giving me a bleary-eyed look. “Is that coffee? You must be an angel.”
I held his mug just out of range of his grip. “I’m bare as the day I was born, and all you can mention is the coffee?”
He cleared his throat. “Well, you see, I’m not too good with words. But I can, uh, comment in other ways.”
“Oh, really?”
Will slid a hand around my waist and tugged me closer, pressing a kiss to my neck. “Yes. But first, I’m gonna need that coffee.”
In retrospect, I realized that I should have told someone I’d be staying out all night. It would have raised questions, though—questions I wasn’t prepared to answer yet. I parked the car in the massive garage and put the keys in the lockbox by Eli’s little office. He wasn’t in yet, so I scribbled him a short note: Thanks for everything. – Sky.
I hoped it would be obvious that what I really meant was to thank him for his discretion. Maybe I’d mention something to my father about giving the household staff a raise once he returned home. Given that Brian and Eli had contributed greatly to saving his life, I doubted that he would object.
If Beth thought it was strange that I was just arriving home, she didn’t mention anything as I stepped into the sitting room. Maybe she’d thought I was still at the hospital. “Good morning,” she said, holding up a bottle of top-shelf scotch. “I need a little something. Want a glass?”
I shook my head. I wanted a drink, but for once, I felt like I didn’t need one.
Beth returned to her seat and patted the chair beside her. “Join me anyway?”
“Sure. Is everything okay with Dad?” I had to check. It wasn’t exactly every morning that I found Beth rooting around the bar before the sun had risen all the way. Whenever I’d stepped into his room, he’d either been asleep or making an excellent impression of it to avoid talking to me. I’d believe either.
“Your father’s slowly improving.” She pulled a coaster closer with her pinky and stared at the engraved WR for Wentworth Ranch, the original proposed name of this place before they’d changed it to Black Gold Creek. The circles under Beth’s eyes almost looked like bruises. It occurred to me that maybe this wasn’t a morning drink, and instead, she’d just stayed up all night. “Have I ever told you about Kyle, my first husband?”
This was getting interesting. “No, I didn’t even know you were married.” How did that manage to slip by the nosiest family in existence? I was itching to ask Hailey if she knew. Then again, it wasn’t like Dad talked to me about his personal life. We’d spoken on holidays or exchanged obligatory phone calls here and there. He’d tell me something i
nsignificant about the ranch; I’d fight not to slur my words. We had a system.
“Your father didn’t want to advertise it.” Beth drained her glass in one motion. “One day, I came home, and he just wasn’t there anymore. I didn’t think I’d ever love again after that. I wasn’t sure I was worthy. But then I met your father. And I knew that it was time.”
Hearing other people talk about Dad always baffled me. They made him sound like this wonderful, benevolent man who deserved nothing but worship. To me, though, he was a Sphinx taunting me with the keys to the kingdom as long as I could solve his riddles. “I’m sorry about your first husband,” I said, perhaps a little belatedly. “You shouldn’t have to hide your past like that.”
“A lot of people didn’t want us to be together,” she admitted, unable to meet my eyes. “They called me a gold digger. A social climber. Said all sorts of horrible things about me.”
“Yeah, that happens,” I deadpanned, though I got the impression she wasn’t quite listening to me, that she was mainly talking to herself at that point. Or maybe this was Beth’s version of an olive branch.
“I wanted to prove that I loved Charles, so I signed a prenup. He asked me for one hours after I told him I couldn’t have children. I mean, yes, I was older at that point, but still.” Beth gestured in the direction of my childhood home. “It wasn’t until years later that I realized he’d never love me the way he loved your mother. Darlene is just on another level.”
Maybe that was why Beth had demanded a new house. I could see how living in a woman’s figurative shadow was enough without having to live among her belongings, too. At least she hadn’t demolished the other house or done anything extreme. That would have been too much, even though I hadn’t taken the time to walk through the old house either. Maybe I never would. I’d just keep it preserved in my memory without being forced to acknowledge all of the things that were missing from inside it—like Mom.
The Cowboy's Promise: Love Triangle Billionaire Romance (The Wentworth Cowboy Billionaire Series) Page 10