Love, Music, Amali

by Mia Mitns

  I told Jes to follow me upstairs. I had a guest room. He could stay there. He asked me if he could have a key to my house. I said no. Jes barely knew me. I wondered why he felt so comfortable to ask for a key. You are wondering why? a second voice in my head asked. Oh yeah, I thought, he’s the crazy one.

  ---

  Later on around 11 a.m. that morning, I kicked Jes out. Then I went to the library. Just before I reached the sliding doors to enter, I passed by a tall person wearing a grey and black hoodie. He, I assumed, was standing in a corner. He seemed out of place, so I turned around. Of course, it was Levi. He smiled at me. I sighed, but turned back around and kept on walking through the sliding doors.

  After turning in some books, I headed towards the back to find some more stories. As I was browsing the rack, I could see Levi come down the aisle out of the corner of my eye. I kept on “browsing.”

  “Hey Amali,” he said. “Look, I’m really sorry for the way I treated you backstage at the concert. I don’t know how else to say this to make you understand.”

  “I understand,” I said.

  “Did you get the envelope, the flowers, and the gift?”

  “Yes.”

  “I really hope you change your mind. I can and have already changed. I’ll let you know what is going on. I won’t try to block you from things. I can stop doing the image thing, and if I’m not allowed to stop, I’ll quit.”

  “What!?” I said in a loud whisper as I stopped pretending to browse and looked to him. “You can’t quit! Why would you do that? This is your life. It’s what you love!”

  “Because I love you more. So I can’t pretend to be OK with this situation anymore.”

  I was shocked. Did I hear what I just thought I heard? How did he even know? He just met me. I looked over his shoulder.

  “Amali,” he said.

  I looked at him.

  “Yesterday,” he continued, “I was devastated that you wouldn’t accept my apology. I know I pretended not to be. As I went to my room, I felt a weight of sadness. Part of me hoped that you would come to the concert. I held onto that hope. But when I went out to perform, you weren’t there.

  “I felt like everything meant nothing. I pretended to be happy on the upbeat and happy songs. The sad songs were very much alive for me. I almost broke down on one— the song I wrote for you. It was supposed to be happy. I changed the lyrics around last night, and now it’s depressing.

  “Please, just give me another chance. I know we just met. I know you really don’t know me, but I’ll show you. I can open up to you if you let me.”

  I looked down to the floor and felt sad. Was I judging him too harshly? It was true. I didn’t really know him at all. I only knew him for a few days. I just knew I didn’t really want to be dealing with a celebrity.

  “Amali,” he said.

  I looked up at him. He reached out and held my hand. I didn’t realize how much I missed holding onto his hand.

  He looked directly in my eyes. “Please, don’t judge me for who you think I am. Please don’t punish me. And please don’t punish yourself. I know you feel love too.”

  I looked at him with tears that were starting to form from my eyes. I pulled back my hand. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

  I rushed away as fast as I could before the tears started to fall.

  As I left the library, the detectors went off and I noticed I still had a couple of books in my hand. I turned around, embarrassed, and went quickly to the self-checkout. I could see Levi walking towards me. He didn’t stop. He passed me as he went out towards the parking lot.

  I finished checking out my books and darted to my car. I turned the key and was ready to leave when a knock on the window startled me. I rolled the window down.

  “Amali, I just wanted to let you know you seem a lot like me,” Levi said.

  Tears started falling fast from my eyes.

  “So just remember I won’t leave you,” Levi said. “I won’t abandon you. I love you.”

  I could no longer hold all of the tears back; they came down like a waterfall. He reached into my car and started rubbing my back.

  “I’m . . . I’m,” I said.

  “It’s OK, just take some time and think about it,” he said with a slight smile. He opened the car door and wrapped his arms around me, bringing me to his chest. He held me until my tears slowed down. His hug made me feel really good. I felt much better. I felt protected.

  A few minutes later, I regrettably pulled back and he closed the car door.

  “I’ll see you later,” he said and left.

  When I got home, I ran upstairs and wrapped myself in my sheets. I lay there, in my bed, thinking about Levi and why I let him go. Then I thought about my past. They all claimed to love me, and they all left. I didn’t want to feel love again. I didn’t think a loving love was possible for me.

  ---

  Talli came by later that afternoon. Levi told her what happened. He was worried about me. Talli and I sat and talked things through. I was so lucky to have her as my friend.

  In the evening, I felt better. The tears and sorrow were gone. I climbed out of bed, and Talli and I went to look for the box that Levi gave me. We looked everywhere. It wasn’t on the coffee table where I left it. It was gone!

  I wondered if Jes took it, but he didn’t. I remember he pointed it out to me, and told me to open it once more before he left. I didn’t move it. The mystery was really strange.

  Talli and I had dinner, and then she left to get ready for work in the morning. I went upstairs, and started ironing my work outfit.

  Chapter 7

  I started work at 6 a.m. again. Those types of days were tough, but the good part was I finished really early. Talli was working with me as well. We were expecting another wave of customers checking in.

  Talli and I joked and discussed random things until I noticed someone’s jeans on their way up to our desk. I turned to them and said, “Hi how . . .”

  “Go ahead,” Levi said.

  I blinked a few times. I don’t know why it was hard for me to just say what I usually say hundreds of times per day. I looked at the desk, “How can I help you?” I looked back up at him, trying to breathe, and hold off the sadness.

  He was probably coming to say goodbye. Some of Kantana’s techs appeared to be packing to move to a new hotel earlier.

  Levi smiled. I tried to smile too.

  “I need you to do something for me,” he said.

  “What can I do for you?” I asked.

  He rested his elbows and forearms on the counter. Then he looked up into my eyes. “Amali, I need for you to love me.”

  Whoa! I needed some time to answer him . . . As I took the time, I didn’t break contact with his eyes.

  “Can you love me?” he asked.

  I took a deep breath in, “Yes.”

  He looked a little shocked, but a huge smile took over his face. His demeanor changed. He no longer appeared to be sad. He looked content.

  “I really wish I could hug and kiss you right now, but I don’t want to get you in trouble.” He laughed. “You’ll just have to wait until later tonight!”

  I smiled and saw Talli out of the corner of my eye, who seemed to also be overjoyed.

  “OK, I’ll see you there,” I said.

  “You still have the tickets right?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  He nodded and then went back to his room. Talli was super excited and we basically talked the rest of the day about it. Levi also took the time to pass us multiple times the rest of the day, playing games with us. Sometimes he smiled. Other times he just walked by.

  ---

  That night Talli, her friends, and I went to the Kantana show— another small secret one. We sat close to the back which would have equaled about the seventh row in an arena.

  During the show, Talli whispered to me that Levi had gained his confidence back. I noticed he was smiling a lot. They performed a few songs from their albums, and then Levi too
k the time to talk about a new song; the song he wrote for me.

  He explained how the song was meant to be sad night before, but things changed. Starting that night, the song would never be sad again. The song was meant to be a celebration. Levi glanced in our direction and smiled. I smiled back.

  I knew the fans would love that. A new song sung and performed two different ways. You could see people reaching for their phones and cameras. I was glad a few people were recording a video.

  I thought the song was beautiful just by lyrics alone. Hearing it live made it a masterpiece. I couldn’t stop smiling as he sang the words. Kantana finally had a song that wasn’t annoying to me. Levi finally seemed to find his voice and add some real emotion to the song. And yeah, the song was a love song written to me.

  After the concert was over, Talli, her friends, and I milled around while Kantana signed autographs and took pictures with their fans. After the last person left, we met with the guys for a few minutes outside.

  I found Levi leaning up against the brick wall wearing a slight smile. Before I could speak, Jes came by and whispered, “see,” then went to talk to Talli. I laughed then looked at Levi.

  “You finally made a song I actually like,” I said. I wasn’t joking, but I said it in a way that seemed so.

  He laughed as he shook his head. Then he looked at me. He held out his arms, and I pulled him away from the wall for a hug, and a feather light kiss. It felt good to be in his arms again. I was glad I didn’t mess this up.

  Levi gave me a ride back home, and from that point on, until he left, we were almost inseparable. I had to work, and so did he, but other than that he was always there.

  ---

  It was hard . . . really, really hard saying goodbye at the end of the two weeks. Levi offered a place on the bus for me to travel with them, but I didn’t want to leave my life. The touring life was not for me. And I just met him, so . . .

  We agreed to visit each other from time to time. They only had a couple of months left to tour, so it wouldn’t be too long. A few stars pierced the black sky as we stood next to the bus, in the venue parking lot. I held onto him for the last night, until he had to leave. He left me with a memorable kiss.

  My phone chirped when I got home. It was a video of Levi saying he missed me already. It was sweet; I missed him too, but I couldn’t help but chuckle. It was him that was writing all of their sappy love songs, it had to be.

  Chapter 8

  About a day later, just as I arrived home from work, I heard some sort of bird yapping. I surveyed my front yard through my kitchen window, but didn’t find any animal. As I turned to go upstairs, to get a better look, I was startled by a shadow. It appeared on my curtains that covered the entrance to my patio.

  I rushed to the sliding door, pushed back the curtains, and without looking opened the sliding door. I looked up and gasped. I was automatically frozen. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was an eagle!

  This bird was so huge and intimidating. Not to mention, it was staring straight at me. It spread its wings a few times making it even more massive. I didn’t think I was breathing.

  It squawked again. That bird was loud. I stayed frozen in my spot. A few minutes later it took off. I thought it was probably hungry. Once it was completely gone, I was able to free myself. I closed the door and locked it. Finally, I was able to breathe. I took several breaths.

  ---

  Later on, as I was watching TV, I heard the squawking again. I got up and looked out to my backyard through my sliding door. The eagle had returned. It stared at me again. A few minutes later, it started flying around my home.

  I called and told Talli. She laughed and she said maybe it was friends with the cat. She wanted to come by and see it sometime.

  I called Levi, but he didn’t answer. I left a text message. He later said he didn’t believe me and that I should take some pictures for proof. There was no way I was going to do that though. I didn’t want to piss the bird off.

  ---

  For the next week, I saw the eagle off and on. It would come and do the same dance— yapping and flying around my house. A neighbor asked if it was mine. I told him it was probably due to the fact that our complex opened to the woods.

  Even though the eagle’s ritual was a little scary, I felt the strangest thing. I felt safe. I felt protected. I didn’t feel alone. It seemed as though the eagle was sent to watch over me and make sure I was alright.

  The conversation I had with Levi, “bird or cats,” came into my mind. I wanted to see an eagle in person, but there was no way he could have . . . Was there?

  When I told him he did say that he didn’t believe me, but he could have been lying . . . lying so he could mess with me . . . like that cat. There was no way though. It would have made an interesting paranormal romance story.

  Another week passed, and the same eagle continued to visit. I told myself I should go out there. The eagle probably wouldn’t hurt me. I decided against it. I was going to visit Levi in a few days and didn’t want to be scratched up from the bird. I also didn’t want to take the chance that it could bite me or do something that would make me sick.

  Talli tried to come by a couple of times to see the eagle, but every time she did, Jes called. I teased her about Jes. She said she wasn’t seeing him. He became a good friend. He was also working on getting her and her friends even more tickets. They wanted to travel to see the shows a few more times.

  ---

  The next day the eagle came as usual, but that day was different. That day the eagle held a box in its claws as it sat on my wooden porch railing. The box looked familiar.

  The eagle yapped, spread its wings, and took off going straight up. I saw the bottom of the box. I was in disbelief. There was a heart! That box was missing!

  How did the eagle get that box? Better yet, who gave the eagle the box? I know no eagles were in my house. No one was in my . . . Jes?

  When the eagle finished flying it sat on the rail and called for me. It had to be calling for me, because it became quiet when it saw me. I stood behind my sliding door as the eagle stared for a few minutes. Then it headed straight towards me. It stopped before it hit the glass and started using its free claw to tug at the door handle.

  I felt an immense amount of fear. It finally had a good grip on the handle and started pulling my sliding door open. My eyes jumped open wider as I pushed the door closed, fighting the bird. It couldn’t come near me or in my house. There would be no way I would be able to get it out of my house.

  The bird finally gave up and flew back to the rail. I breathed heavy. I was relieved. The eagle looked at me. Then it flew close to me and set the box on the ground. It flew back to the rail and yapped.

  I spotted the box. It was a lot closer to me than the bird, but I was scared to get it. Perhaps I could have slid the door open and leaned out, but I was scared that the bird would fly in. The eagle squawked again like it was telling me to pick up the box.

  I wasn’t going out there. I made sure I locked the sliding door and closed the curtains.

  ---

  I went back to check my porch again when I couldn’t hear the eagle flying around anymore. I inspected the area. The eagle was gone. I slid my door open and went outside. The sun was still warm although it was setting into the pink and purple sky.

  I kneeled down and picked up the box. I opened it. Another box, a velvet box, was inside along with a note. I opened the velvet box. A gold key charm on a gold chain was inside. I held the necklace up and twirled it around my fingers. Then I opened the note. It said, “It’s a little corny, I know, but it’s true.” There was a little smiley face at the end.

  I smiled and put the necklace on. I held the charm in my palm as I looked down upon it. I felt a little sad that Levi was gone. The eagle squawked.

  “What!!?” I yelled. I was terrified. My hand started shaking uncontrollably.

  I couldn’t look up. All I could look at was the wooden floor of my patio. The small
shadow turned into a much larger one. It had to due to the sun, I thought. I could have been imagining things. I slowly raised my head and was stunned.

  “L . . . Levi? . . . How?” I said. I shook my head.

  He took a few steps toward me and bent down to the ground. He helped me stand up. I kept my hands on his forearms. His hands were supporting my elbows.

  “Remember when I said I wouldn’t abandon you?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” I said.

  “I’m keeping my promise.”

  “Yeah . . . but how did you . . . I was supposed to come and visit in a few days.”

  He stepped in closer to me and moved his hands to my shoulders. I repositioned my hands on his arms.

  He lowered his face to graze mine. “I couldn’t wait that long. I had to make sure to protect you,” he whispered.

  “So, you can talk to the eagle?”

  He smiled, “Something like that.”

  I didn’t ask him anything more about the eagle. For all I knew, he also could have controlled the cat. Or maybe that was Jes. It didn’t matter though. I finally found someone who would care for me and protect me. Someone who wouldn’t leave. Someone who loved me. He said he had everything— the ability to love again, his music, and a loving love from Amali.

  About the Author

  Mia Mitns was born in Houston, Texas but grew up in multiple places including California, Colorado, and a few other areas around Texas. She graduated from Spelman College in Atlanta, Georgia and Western University in Pomona, California. When she is not writing or reading, she enjoys listening to music, going to concerts, trying to play guitar, playing basketball, and drawing.

  Tea Leaf: What Hides Beneath