His eyes narrowed. “If I wanted to kill ye due to your English upbringing, ye would’ve been dead when ye first set foot on my lands.”
“How comforting,” she said dryly.
He paused. “I donna want to see ye hurt.”
She studied him for a moment and stepped back. “Could you tell me something about your clan?” When he looked at her and hesitated, she added, “Perhaps some history of the Sutherland clan. I don’t know much about Scotland and I thought I’d start with you.”
He lifted a brow. “Yet ye’re here to teach my son,” he said dryly. When she didn’t respond to his barb, he asked, “Are ye truly interested or only making polite conversation?”
“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know.”
Ruairi looked out at the sea. “By the early tenth century, Norsemen had conquered the islands of Shetland and Orkney, as well as Caithness and Sutherland on the mainland. The Norse had control over Scotland beyond Moray Firth. The lower portion of the lands was called ‘Suderland’ because it was south of the Norse islands and Caithness.
“My ancestor was a Flemish nobleman named Freskin de Moravia. He was given a commission by the king—David the First—to clear the Norse from the lands. My ancestor was a legend in his time, having killed the last breathing Norseman. Some years later, the Sinclairs rebelled against the Bishop of Caithness over tithes he imposed, and once again, the Sutherland clan was charged with restoring law and order. More to the point, these lands have been in the hands of my clan for centuries.”
She paused. “I’m not sure what to say to that. I find myself rendered quite speechless. There is so much history in your family. You must be proud.” When he didn’t respond, Ravenna looked down over the cliff. “I couldn’t imagine waking up and having this view every day. Your wife must have loved it here.”
He almost chuckled when he thought of the irony.
“My apologies. Lady Sutherland’s passing must be painful for you. I hope she didn’t suffer long.”
“How long have ye been a governess?” Ruairi asked, changing the direction of the conversation.
“Longer than I can remember. I love children.”
“I suppose ye’d have to.”
“It won’t take Torquil long to learn some English, especially if you and Fagan and I continue to speak it to him.”
As Ruairi nodded, Ravenna looked over his shoulder and froze.
***
Dear God.
Angus ran across the field from the woods and came straight toward them. If not for the steep drop behind her, Ravenna would have fled. To her dismay, there was nowhere to go. When Ruairi saw the reason for her concern, he smiled patiently.
“Lass, I told ye before. ’Tis only Angus. He will nae harm ye.”
They took a few steps away from the cliff, and she was glad they did because when the giant wolf reached Ruairi, two massive paws thumped on his back. The impact of the animal made Ruairi’s hard body bump into her. In fact, they were so close that she could practically lay her head on the man’s broad chest.
“Please keep him away from me,” said Ravenna, trying desperately to hold on to her fragile control.
Ruairi continued to hold back the wolf and then yelled to Torquil. When the boy didn’t respond, Ruairi said something again in Gaelic. Torquil finally called for Angus, and the wolf parted company—but not soon enough. At long last, Ravenna was able to breathe a sigh of relief.
“Lass, truly, ye need to calm yourself around Angus. Ye know he is able to sense your fear. Ye are only making matters worse.”
“I understand that, but I truly don’t like dogs.” Her voice was shakier than she would’ve liked.
“Angus isnae a dog. He’s a wolf,” Ruairi said with a smile.
“And that doesn’t make me feel any better.” She quickly glanced at Torquil to make sure Angus was staying in the field below. She didn’t want to lose sight of the wolf for a single moment. God forbid the animal would jump on her the way he did to Ruairi. She didn’t think her poor nerves could take it.
“What happened to ye?”
Ravenna looked at him, puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“What happened to ye that ye’re afraid of dogs?”
“Oh, I don’t like to talk about it.”
He gave her an easy smile. “I’ve found that fear will always control ye if ye donna speak about it and face it.”
She bit her lip and then reluctantly spoke, choosing her words carefully. “I was on an assignment with another family, and a dog bit me brutally in the leg. The wicked beast left quite a nasty scar on my calf, and I haven’t gone near anything with four legs since. I don’t want to take a chance in case they decide to take a bite out of me for their next meal.”
“That must’ve been painful, but ’twas only one dog. Nae all animals are like that. Angus has been with our clan for years and has ne’er harmed anyone.”
“That you know of… I know you think it’s a foolish fear, but I see how big Angus is and his teeth—”
“Are only used to eat.” When he saw her widened eyes and recognized what she was about to say, he added, “Food. Nae man or woman. Moreover, he knows to stay away from wily lasses.” He winked, and she knew he was teasing her affectionately, not maliciously.
She lifted a brow. “And let’s not forget that I am English.”
“Aye. Angus is smart. He knows nae to touch the English.” Laugh lines crinkled around Ruairi’s eyes. “Will ye trust me with something?”
“Mmm… I don’t know. You look like you’re up to something.”
“I would ne’er let any harm befall ye.”
For some reason, Ravenna believed him. She nodded in consent and he moved to stand behind her. He pressed his entire length against her back and rested his hands at her hips. Leaning back, he let out a loud whistle and Angus came toward them.
He must have felt her tense up because he spoke softly in her ear. “Be calm.” He leaned away from her and gestured to the animal. “Angus, come.”
Ravenna wasn’t sure if she trembled because of the wolf or from the strength of Ruairi’s touch. As the wild creature came closer and another stood at her back, she couldn’t think clearly about anything. “Ruairi…”
“Shhh… I’m here with ye. Trust me. Angus will nae harm ye,” he said in a whispering voice. “Open your eyes, Ravenna.”
She wasn’t sure how the man knew they were closed. She could hear the blood pounding in her ears, and it was impossible to steady her erratic pulse. “Please don’t make me do this. I don’t want to do this. I can’t.”
“Ye’re doing fine, lass. Give me your hand.” He placed his hand on top of hers and lifted her fingers in front of Angus’s nose. “Let him smell your scent.”
A cold nose touched her skin and her heart beat faster. She was deathly afraid of the wolf, but all she could think about was Ruairi’s touch. He lifted her hand to the top of Angus’ head and had her gently pat the animal.
“Ye’re doing it, Ravenna. Ye see? ’Tis just Angus. He wouldnae harm ye.”
Ravenna closed her eyes again and, against her better judgment, leaned back against Ruairi. She felt his chin lower into her hair. Suddenly, she was so conscious of his body that she almost forgot about Angus—almost. Laird Sutherland certainly had a pleasant way of distracting her from her fear.
For a brief time, neither of them spoke. She realized Angus had walked away a few moments earlier. When Ruairi brushed the tips of his fingers lightly on her arm, she felt like a breathless young girl. He whispered her name in her ear in that alluring Scottish accent and it was almost her undoing—well, until Torquil called to her and the moment was lost.
She promptly stepped away from the man before she lost her mind. God help her. For a moment, she’d wanted Ruairi to crush her against himself in a heated embrace. She briefly wondered what that would be like, then told herself to stop these ridiculous notions.
Now.
Torquil rode toward them an
d smiled. “Good, Ravenna.” He looked like he was searching for his words. “Umm…Angus.”
She approached the boy and tapped his leg in the stirrup. “Thank you, Torquil.”
“Would ye like to ride to the village?” asked Ruairi, grabbing their mounts.
“I’d love to.”
He assisted her onto her mount and handed her the reins. “Ye took a big step forward with Angus. ’Tis only a matter of time before the two of ye are friends.”
“I don’t know if I’d go that far, but thank you, Ruairi.”
His smile was boyishly affectionate, and then he effortlessly swung his leg up over his mount. He nodded to Torquil and said something in Gaelic. But when the boy responded, a strange look crossed Ruairi’s face, as if he was troubled.
“Does he not want to travel with us to the village?” asked Ravenna.
“Nay, he comes.”
Ruairi was quiet and his lightened mood disappeared. He led his horse onto the dirt path and Ravenna followed. Something had definitely changed, and she could not quite put her finger on what that was.
“I get the feeling something is wrong. What did Torquil say?”
There was a heavy silence as she stared at Ruairi’s back. She had about given up hope that he was going to respond. But after several uncomfortable moments, he finally spoke.
“Torquil asked if ye were going to be his mother.”
Five
Ruairi’s thoughts spun. He knew he shouldn’t have let his manhood rule his mind. But when he pressed up against Ravenna and she trembled in his arms, he couldn’t help himself. She felt so damn good. Even though he was hesitant to admit it, the English woman’s behavior was astoundingly not so English. She was kind toward Torquil and quick to speak her mind. He found she wasn’t like most lasses, for that matter.
But his son’s question unnerved him. Torquil hadn’t had a female presence in his life since the death of his mother, and Ruairi didn’t want his son to become too close to his governess. After all, when the lad’s studies were complete, Ravenna would take her leave and report back to the king. Scotland was not her home or where she was meant to be. Ruairi needed to remember that and keep things in perspective.
As they rode back from the village, the lass didn’t utter a single word. From the expression on her face, Ruairi knew she was deep in thought. He couldn’t say that he blamed her. Torquil’s question more than likely weighed heavily on her mind. Ruairi tried to break the uncomfortable silence by changing the subject.
“What did ye think of the village?”
Ravenna smiled, but the smile did not reach her eyes. “Oh, it was quite lovely. I see how much everyone adores you.”
He shrugged. “They are my people, my responsibility. I merely look after them.”
She reined in beside him and lowered her voice. “I hope I didn’t give Torquil a reason to think… I am his governess. You only have one mother in this world, and I assure you that I have no intention of taking his mother’s place.”
For some reason, her words felt like a deep cut to Ruairi’s soul, but the feeling made no sense. He knew the lass spoke the truth, but hearing the words from her lips angered him. What was the matter with him? Until he could answer that question, he wouldn’t give the lass the satisfaction of knowing how much she unsettled him.
He looked at her, his eyes narrowed, and spoke defensively. “Donna worry your bonny English head upon it. Ye will find I have nay intention of having ye take my wife’s place.”
He kicked his mount and rode on ahead of her. Once he entered the bailey, which was not soon enough, he released his mount to the stable hand. He stormed off to find Fagan—suddenly having a burning need to practice his swordplay. And Fagan was the perfect object on which to take out all his mounting frustration. Ruairi quickly found his captain standing in the great hall.
“What has happened? Did ye find another animal?” asked Fagan with a sense of urgency.
Ruairi found that his friend’s words put things a bit more into perspective. He realized he was behaving as if he was troubled over something of importance. “Nay. I just returned from—”
“Ah, your ride with Ravenna,” said Fagan with a wry grin. “And how did ye do with the bonny lass?”
Mixed feelings surged through Ruairi and he was puzzled by his behavior. When the only response he could provide was a scowl, his friend lifted a brow.
“Ye know it has been quite some time since ye attempted to woo a lass. Do ye find yourself needing my instruction after all, my laird? Mayhap I should’ve come with ye.”
“So help me. If ye werenae like my brother, I’d ball my fist into your face right now.”
Fagan chuckled, slapping Ruairi on the shoulder. “Let’s have ourselves a wee bit of ale and ye can tell me all about your woes.”
***
The man had taken off as though the seat of his Sutherland kilt was on fire. What had made Ravenna think she could find momentary comfort in the arms of a Highland laird? A recently widowed Highland laird at that. He must think of her as some kind of wanton idiot. She shook her head at her stupidity.
Taking advantage of her distracted state, Torquil tried to sneak past her. She tried not to smile because the boy reminded her so much of Kat.
“Torquil…”
He slowly turned around, and an innocent expression crossed his face. “Aye?”
Not fooled for a moment, Ravenna pointed and said, “Library,” then gestured him forward. She laughed when the boy groaned, mumbling under his breath and pouting as they walked through the halls. If he slowed his pace any further, it would be time to sup before they reached their destination.
As they finally took their seats in the library, Ravenna struggled with the thought of Torquil’s question to his father. She should’ve known the boy was still in a fragile state after the recent passing of his mother. And her behavior today… Not only were Ravenna’s actions inexcusable, but Lady Sutherland was only in the ground a few weeks. And more importantly, Ravenna had forgotten her most sacred rule. Although she was a spy for the Crown, she would never use a child—ever—to suit her purposes. The thought of doing so went against everything she stood for.
“Ravenna…”
She blinked to clear the cobwebs. “Oh, yes. Let us continue.” She pulled out her drawings and held up one at a time as Torquil recalled most of the English words. For the remainder of the afternoon, she and Torquil worked hard on putting those words into sentences.
When it was time to sup, Ravenna briefly thought about taking her meal in her chamber. She definitely wanted to choose the coward’s way out. But with her luck of late, someone would come looking for her and she’d have to explain her absence. Reluctantly, she made her way to the great hall and sat down at the table.
“How did ye enjoy the village?” asked Fagan as he reached for a piece of bread.
“It was such a lovely day. I was telling Laird Sutherland that I could see how much his people truly care for him. We also traveled to the cliffs. The view—”
“Can be verra dangerous. I donna want ye going there alone,” said Ruairi. The man spoke in an odd tone and kept his eyes on his trencher.
“I have no intention of doing so, but the cliffs were beautiful nonetheless.”
“Aye, Ruairi wouldnae want ye going there…alone. I’m sure my laird would accompany ye whenever ye’d like to go,” said Fagan. When he raised his brow at Ruairi, the silence grew tight with tension. She also noticed that Ruairi would not look Fagan directly in the eye.
She said a silent prayer of thanks when two Sutherland guards came into the great hall with their hands on the hilts of their swords, interrupting the uncomfortable moment. They walked forward and bowed their heads to Ruairi.
“My laird, the Munro is at the gates.”
Ruairi dropped the meat he held in his hand and stood, while Fagan placed his tankard down and did the same. The men didn’t say another word and simply walked out of the great hall with the guards.<
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Ravenna turned to Torquil. “Mmm…I wonder what that’s all about.”
When the boy shrugged his shoulders and continued to eat, Ravenna realized Ruairi’s son understood more than he acknowledged.
***
Why? Why couldn’t he have one day of peace? With the bonny English governess who continued to haunt his dreams, the slaughtered cattle, and now the Munro who pounded at his gates, Ruairi needed a drink. Maybe several.
The Munro dismounted from his horse and stood surrounded by his faithful guards. His long, red hair was tapered at the neck, and half his tunic was pulled out at the waist and hung over his kilt. He placed his hand on the hilt of his sword, and when he spotted Ruairi, his expression darkened.
“Sutherland, ye would keep me waiting beyond your gates?”
Ruairi approached the man with Fagan by his side. “Munro, ye are a wee bit far from home, are ye nae?”
“We need to have words.”
“And I think ye like to hear the sound of your own.”
Munro smiled as he reached out and embraced Ruairi with a slap on the back. “I see ye are still in one piece, Ruairi.”
“’Tis good to see ye, Ian. We just sat down to sup. Join us.” The men walked into the bailey. “I am pleased to see ye, but what are ye doing here?”
“’Tis a conversation best held behind closed doors.”
Ruairi nodded. “Come. Cook made a fine meal.”
They entered the great hall, and Ravenna’s eyes widened at the sight of Munro’s men. Ruairi suddenly realized he hadn’t had a chance to explain her presence to his friend. He slowed his pace and turned his head to say something to Ian, but the man was no longer by his side. God’s teeth! He was already at the table in front of Ravenna.
Ian gave Ravenna a slight bow. “My lady, I am Laird Ian Munro. A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
She shifted in the chair and looked uncomfortable. “My laird, I am no lady. I am Mistress Denny, governess for Laird Sutherland’s son.”
“Governess?”
“Yes. Since Lady Sutherland had fallen ill, I was sent by the king to educate their son here and not in the Lowlands.”
My Highland Spy Page 5