by CeeCee James
“You made a whole set from that weird applesauce cinnamon dough.”
“It was suppose to smell good,” Miranda said glumly.
“Oh, it did. So good that Archer ate the bodies off of every one.”
Miranda threw an annoyed look at her sister as Cassie laughed over the visual of macabre heads hanging all over the tree. “Give me that back.”
“No,” Cassie yanked it away and ran to the front. “It goes right here. High enough to be safe from Archer and displayed with pride.”
Her phone dinged and a surge of excitement flew through her. Jason? She scrambled to get it, her heart immediately sinking as she read it. It was from Dylan —Just wanted to tell you Merry Christmas. Maybe we can talk soon?
Miranda powered it off, and slouched back on the couch.
Christmas music played in the background. Miranda watched her sister hang the remaining ornaments. Cassie pulled a sparkling pinecone from the box. “Remember when the three of us made these last—” She trailed off at her sister’s stare. “Sorry.” She hurried around to the other side of the tree and hung the ornament.
Miranda felt a tear tremble on her eyelid and wiped it away with her finger. A desperate voice rose inside of her. Text. Him. The longing she felt was overwhelming.
Maybe, just maybe I could get through to him this time.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Winter
Miranda’s palms were sweaty when she arrived at the restaurant. The waitress guided her to a table that overlooked the street. She slid out her phone to check the time, then, on spur of the moment, sent a text. —I’m here.
Scrolling up, she reread the text she’d received from Jason on Christmas Day.
—It’s early, and I’m laying here under the tree thinking about you. I owe you a big apology. Let me make a fresh start for the new year?
Her lips trembled as she read it, and she quickly pressed them together. Closing her eyes, she tried to curb the hope that had been building over the last few days. Don’t go there. He’s changed, remember? Let him apologize and get on with his new life.
Sighing, she dropped the phone back into her purse. The waitress came over and Miranda ordered two coffees.
“Cream and sugar?”
“Yes, please.” Miranda watched her walk away, then stared out the window. An elderly couple exited the hair salon across the street, the woman tying a scarf around her hair to protect it from the winter wind. Passing in front of the window, a mom jogged by, pushing a three-wheeled stroller. She zigzagged around a young man in a ratty white t-shirt. His hair was long and scruffy and falling over his forehead.
Her heart stopped.
It was Jason.
He glanced down at his phone as he walked around the corner. Then the door dinged and he came in, slowly scanning the room for her. Jason’s eyes lit up when he finally spotted her, and her heart about flew into her throat.
Jason lifted his hand as he walked over. “Hey there, beautiful,” he said, giving an adorable crooked smile.
Miranda’s mouth went dry. “Long time no see. How are you doing?”
He pushed the hair off his forehead with grease-stained fingers and sat down. “I’m good. Busy.”
“Yeah? Well,” she cleared her throat. “You look good. Different.”
He smiled and flipped a sugar packet around in his fingers. “Thanks for meeting with me. I owe you an apology. I could have said it in a text, but I really wanted to do it in person. I—”
The waitress appeared with mugs and a steaming pot of coffee. After pouring the cups, she pulled out her pad. “So what can I get you two?”
“Oh, this is fine,” Miranda said and looked over at Jason. “You want anything?”
“No, I’m good.”
“What? No pecan pie? I’ve got some of the best back there.” The waitress jerked her pen towards the counter. “Okay, if you’re sure,” she said in response to their shaking heads.
“Just when I was on a roll,” Jason moaned and Miranda laughed. He smiled at her. “You know, Miranda, you were right when you said I’d changed. I wanted to make you proud of me. Wanted to be someone who deserved you.” He held up his hand to stop her from protesting. “I know I went about it wrong. I’m just not made to be a rich person I guess. But the thing is, I never felt good enough. So for a few weeks there, I felt on top of the world.”
“Yeah but you acted like a jerkwad.”
His eyes squinted. “Ouch, that hurts.”
“You were worse than Dylan.”
“Wow, Miranda, you’re out for blood today.” He smiled again, showing his crooked tooth. “But I deserved that. I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?” His green eyes stared at her intently.
Miranda looked down at her coffee, unable to hold his gaze. So many feelings rushed in. “When you said you wanted to apologize, I was relieved. But hearing you say it.… all I can think about is how you left me when I begged you not to go.”
He sucked in a deep breath. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I thought I was doing the unselfish thing by leaving. You know what they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
“It’s felt like hell all right.”
His eyebrows drew together at her words and he rubbed his forehead. “Man, I really screwed up. I don’t even know where to begin.”
“You can apologize for not believing me,” Miranda suggested. “When I told you that I only wanted you…the real you.”
“Yeah, I heard you say that, but it felt different from my point of view. I mean, who’d want a grease monkey when they can have some rich successful guy?
“A smart person who knows it’s what’s inside a person that counts.”
Jason snorted. “There you go again, always Pollyanna-ing everything up.”
“I’m serious! I’d love to have the freedom to travel and pursue the things I’m passionate about. Have a cool car.” She smiled at him. “But life comes in stages, you know? Sometimes you have a lot, and sometimes a little. The trick is to be happy in either spot.”
He stared at her. “You might have something there.”
This time she held his gaze. But she wasn’t quite ready to make up with him yet. “You look so good. I can’t believe how long it’s been.”
“I have a thick head and always take the long way around to learn things.” He reached over and touched the back of her hand. “I’ve missed you.”
The warm touch was like a knock out punch. “Are you telling me you’ve changed again?” Her comment was a last ditch effort in order not to cave and jump in his arms. She amended it—his tan muscular arms. For crying out loud, will-power, woman!
Jason took a sip of his coffee. “I don’t know how to say it, because I’ve said it before. But yeah, I have changed. Maybe I’ve grown up, I don’t know. But the time has been good for me. I had to let go of the bad stuff that had happened to me as a kid, and realize it didn’t define who I was today. And, I finally realized what I’m passionate about. Things that make me who I am.”
Miranda tipped her head, intrigued. She brushed her hair back and blew on her coffee.
“I, uh.” He blushed and grinned as he looked down. “I started a crisis center for teens. It’s called TECH, for Teen Crisis Hope. It’s not much, but I feel like I’m finally doing what I was meant to do.” He studied his hand and held it out to show her the grease stains. “Oh, and I’m back under cars again, obviously.”
Miranda’s mouth dropped open. “You’re kidding me? That’s your place out on Seventh Street?”
He nodded. “Yeah, me and a few other folks run it. So far we’ve helped eighty kids. You should come check it out sometime.”
Miranda gripped the edge of the table, still in shock. “That’s freaking unbelievable. And so cool.” She took a sip of coffee, trying to buy time to slow her thoughts down.
He seemed to understand and didn’t press her.
“This is so weird to say, but if you ever need any help, I’d like to volunteer,” s
he said, suddenly feeling bashful.
“You would?”
“Yes, I totally would. I’m not sure how helpful I’d be, but I’d love to do it.”
He tipped his head. “It would be awesome to have you. There’s a training program you have to go through first, if you’re serious. The next one we offer is in a week. Interested?”
“Definitely.”
His smile broadened and he studied her frankly. “You’ll like it, I’m sure. But if not, don’t worry. No obligation. It’s not for everyone.”
“So how does being a Crisis Coordinator mesh with wearing fancy duds?”
The corner of Jason’s mouth quirked up. “I sold most of them. All except for that leather jacket. I needed that. And the bathrobe. That thing is awesome.”
“You have a bathrobe?” Miranda squinched her nose and laughed.
Jason flicked a sugar packet at her. “Shut up! Yes, Egyptian cotton and everything.” He smiled wolfishly at her. “Like my sheets.”
“Oh brother.”
“Don’t knock it until you try it. Softest thing you ever slept in.”
Miranda shook her head. “Well, at least you changed them.”
“What? I always changed my sheets.”
“Changing them with every solstice does not constitute sheet cleanliness.” Miranda shook her head.
“Wow, you’re on a roll today. This coffee date’s been great for my self-esteem.”
“Oh! It’s a date now, is it?”
Jason studied the cup in front of him. He slowly spun it, and glanced back at her. “I kind of hope so.”
Man, he was cute. Miranda closed her eyes and tried not to picture his scruffy face bending over hers.
“Let’s start as friends again,” she said. Take that, willpower!
Jason studied her with a small grin before finishing the last of his coffee. “I wish it could be longer, but I have to be getting back. I’ve got two kids in crisis coming today, and I need to make sure the team is ready to receive them.” He pulled out his wallet and slid a ten under the cup. “There, that will pay for us.” He stood up and hesitated. “Maybe lunch soon?”
“I’d like that, Jason. A lot.”
He nodded with his half-grin. “Great. Maybe I’ll take you to the Space Needle. You know, to impress you.”
Her face froze in wariness.
“Nah, I’m just kidding. I did find an awesome taco stand though. Maybe we can go there.”
“Sounds great.”
Jason’s phone buzzed and he pulled it from his pocket, quickly reading the text. “Oh, I guess they’re already there. I need to go.” He stretched out his arms towards her. “Hug?”
Miranda stood and walked over. He wrapped his arms around her. Resting against his chest felt like coming home, and she couldn’t help the small noise that came out of her mouth. “Mmmmm.”
She felt his cheek against the top of her head. “Bye, Miranda.”
With a final wave, he strode quickly out of the restaurant.
Miranda settled back into the booth and picked up her coffee mug. Wow, he sure looked good. More confident and sure of himself than she’d ever seen before. All from starting the center? Or just figuring out what was important to him? He looked hot! She giggled and sipped her coffee. Her stomach jumped with butterflies. I can’t wait to see him again. Suddenly, her eyes grew big. She grabbed her phone and quickly texted. —I forgive you!
Chapter Thirty
Winter
Miranda completed her three-week training program. It was grueling but worth it. Today she sat next to her team captain, a cute redhead named Chloe.
“Hey lady, you think you can handle the next phone call?” Chloe pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose.
“What? You’re throwing me to the wolves so soon?”
Chloe laughed. “You can do it. It’s just a social worker. You know what the kid needs. Be the best advocate you can for them.”
The last month had been a whirlwind of change for Miranda. But she’d loved every minute of it.
Three new kids came through the front door, wearing the same countenance as every new teen that entered. Suspicion wrapped in bravado, like they didn’t have a care in the world.
Miranda knew better. She saw how many were hurting and scared. She also knew the center might not be able to help everyone who came through those doors. It was a partnership between the teen and the program. The sign at the front door explained the boundaries to be in the program. The first one was: Respect each other. We all have problems.
And most of these kids came with problems. But everyone working there had a taste of what they’d been through. Neglect, child abuse, drug, and alcohol use came in every package—wealthy families, poor families, educated families, split families.
The most important thing was to give them hope, make them believe there was a way out.
Jason walked over to the kids. Miranda’s heart skipped a beat. He was just so good-looking. He smiled his easy grin, flannel shirt layered over a t-shirt, holey blue jeans on. His eyes flashed as he nodded at something one of the kids said.
The kids liked him. He listened.
After a few minutes, he led them to another counselor who handed out a couple brown bags of sandwiches. The kids took them and left, the oldest boy giving a nod to Jason on his way out.
Jason wrote something down in the notebook he always carried. As if sensing her watching, he glanced towards her. A warm shiver ran down her spine. Tucking the well-worn notebook into his back pocket, he strode over. “How’s my favorite helper doing today?”
“Good.” Miranda stood and put her arms around his neck.
He wrapped his hands around her waist and gave her his crooked grin. “You’re looking way better than good, Sunshine.”
Miranda laughed. “Glad you like my cutting edge ponytail, no make-up style. I have a feeling you’re going to be seeing a lot of it.”
“How soon until you can take lunch?” he asked. They had a weekly date at the taco stand.
“Chloe?” Miranda looked around for her lead. Chloe rolled her eyes and said, “Go on, get out of here.”
Jason grabbed her hand and they headed outside.
“How are you handling the split shift with the dental office?”
“It’s been good.” Three days there, two days here, working pretty good actually.
“We could make this a full time position, you know.”
“Aww, maybe someday. But I can’t leave Claudia in the lurch like that.”
“You mind if we take a walk first, before lunch?”
She shook her head and he squeezed her hand. “All right, come on. Let’s head to the park.”
They passed his truck, sitting by the curb. Jason reached into the bed and pulled out a plastic Frisbee.
“We’re going to toss a Frisbee?” Miranda raised her eyebrows incredulously.
“Well, I want you to stay active and all, especially now you have a desk job.” He winked at her. “I know you’ve been too busy to go hiking lately.”
”I’ll have you know I had a desk job before.”
He looked at her legs with concern. “They’re kind of getting a bit puny. Maybe we should run some laps too.”
“Ohhh, buddy.” Miranda whacked him on the arm. “You just wait and see. You were the one living the high-life, eating that caviar and éclairs stuff.”
“That insult doesn’t even make sense. Who eats caviar with éclairs?”
“You know what I mean,”
He grinned and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I’m just teasing you sweetie. You’re beautiful just the way you are.”
Miranda rested her head on his chest for a second, feeling sparks of heat fly down her spine from his touch. Her smile stretched across her face.
The day was gorgeous and, even though it was still winter, the air held the faintest scent of fresh life. The tree’s branches were nubbed with future leaf buds. Some early crocuses had already pushed up t
hrough the dirt. The park had just been mowed for the first time that year, the grass brilliant green in the sunshine. They walked over the hill and into an open area.
“Okay, stay here. I’ll pass the Frisbee to you first.” Jason jogged ahead, before spinning around. “Ready?” he called.
“Yup!”
Jason sent the disc spinning in a smooth arc towards her. Leaping, she caught it midair and quickly sent it back. She frowned as the disc arced to the far left of him. He ran after it and caught it just in time.
He threw it again, directly to her. Again, she returned it to his left making him chase after it. He wiped the sweat off his forehead. “Have you ever done this before?”
Miranda laughed. “I’m sorry! The wind is catching it.”
“Throw it like this,” he mimed, then tossed it again.
She threw it, this time over correcting in the opposite direction. He flopped on the grass after he caught it, his chest heaving.
“Come on, throw it back!” Miranda yelled.
He shook his head.
Miranda loped over and stood above him. “What’s the problem? You said you wanted exercise.”
He opened one eye and glared at her. “You did that on purpose.”
She laughed and sat next to him. Grabbing the Frisbee from his hand, she laid it under her head.
Clouds, shaped like popcorn, floated overhead. “Hey,” Miranda pointed. “See that one? A little sheep.”
Jason squinted up at the sky. “A sheep?”
“It’s cute.”
He stared harder. “I see a motorcycle.”
“What? You’re kidding.”
“It’s about to mow down your sheep. Tell it to run!” he mocked. Jason rolled on his side and tickled Miranda’s ear with a grass blade.
“You are a pest,” she said, swatting it away.
“Yeah, takes one to know one, Miss Frisbee Champion.” He rolled closer, his green eyes studying her intensely. Suddenly the space between them felt electrified.
“Are you ever coming home again?” she asked.
“You want me home?” His question was slow. He tickled the grass blade down her arm.