“Who are you?” the woman asks, frowning at Dahlia.
Dahlia swallows her initial surprise and squares her shoulders. “I’m here to see Rodrigo,” she says, her voice calm and cool as steel.
“Who’s at the door?” Dahlia hears him call out.
“Some blond looking for you,” the woman smirks. Dahlia raises an eyebrow at her.
She feels him before she sees him. Every nerve ending becoming alerted to his presence. Her heart races as she hears his footsteps on the white marble floor.
“Oh, wow, Dahlia. Hey,” he says, looking embarrassed. As he leans in to give her the two-kiss Cuban greeting, she closes her eyes and takes in the familiar, heady scent of his aftershave.
“Hi,” she says quietly. “I came by to see if you’re able to do lunch. But I can see you’re busy.” Dahlia takes a step back, bracing herself for his rejection. She hurt him, and she’s prepared to assume responsibility for that, and for keeping her secret from him. It’s only fair that he moved on, considering she’s with Shane. But seeing him there, in the flesh, shows her a small part of her still loves him too. And his being with someone else isn’t sitting well with her. Not entirely.
“Yeah, of course I can.” Rodrigo smiles at Dahlia. Turning to the woman he says, “I’ll call you later. Be sure to lock up when you leave.”
She yells something in Spanish that Dahlia can’t understand and slams the door behind them.
He places his hand lightly on the small of her back, guiding her down the corridor and into a waiting elevator.
Dahlia steps ever so slightly to the right to avoid contact with him. His touch was becoming too much. She is ready to own her life with Shane now.
They walk in awkward silence down Collins until they come to a small café. With every step, she summons the courage to give Rodrigo what he needs—closure.
He pulls out her chair for her and then takes the seat to her right, blocking the sun.
“How’ve you been?” Rodrigo finally asks, breaking the silence.
“I’ve been good,” Dahlia replies, taking a sip of water. “You?”
“Alright.”
She can feel her heart pounding in her chest. The truth is so much harder to face when it’s spoken. Taking a deep breath she starts in, “Look, Rodrigo.”
“Listen, Dahlia,” he interrupts her, “You don’t need to do me any favors. I’m fine. I get there’s someone else in the picture.” Rodrigo waves away the waitress who’s slowly approaching them.
“Yes, but . . .”
“So I’m not sure why you flew all this way to talk. Really, I’m alright.”
But he isn’t. Dahlia can see the hurt in his eyes.
“It’s not that simple, Rodrigo,” she says firmly. Taking another deep breath she says, “When I met you, I was still married.”
Her heart drops into her stomach saying the words aloud to Rodrigo. She had never uttered them to anyone before, except to Lily when Dahlia called her from Vegas to give her the news. She never bothered to tell her parents. She knew they’d found out, and it wasn’t Lily who told them.
Rodrigo leans back into his seat and lets out a long exhale, as if he were just punched in the stomach. It’s an agonizing ten minutes while she watches the look on his face change from shock to anger to fury to anger and then resignation.
Finally, in a restrained voice he says, “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me, Dahlia?”
Chapter 33
“It’s complicated,” she replies.
“Then uncomplicate it for me.”
She looks down, twisting the napkin in her lap. “I was twenty at the time. Shane was twenty-two.”
“So it’s this Shane guy you mentioned when you were in California? You flew there to see him after I left New York?”
Dahlia nods. Rodrigo opens his mouth to speak but she holds up her hand. “Just let me finish.”
Sighing, she begins, “I had every intention of moving to Miami to be with you. The only thing that was standing in the way of that was a divorce. I left him just before my twenty-first birthday. I was young and such a complete mess that I let my parents deal with it.”
“And? Their army of lawyers couldn’t make it happen?”
Dahlia shakes her head. “No one would tell me why. My mother just told me she’d take care everything and to leave it alone. I was more than happy to do anything just to forget about it all, so I did.”
“You pretended like it never happened.”
“Mostly. Until I met you.”
“Am I supposed to be flattered?”
“You don’t have to be, Rodrigo. I fell so in love with you that I wanted to be with you. So much so that I decided I would pursue the divorce. Until you, it never mattered since I didn’t care about getting married again.”
“Then, if you wanted to be with me, how could it all change in a week?”
“Because, the part that complicated it the most was we had a child together.”
Rodrigo’s eyes betray his shock.
“You have a kid? Is he raising your kid?”
Dahlia shakes her head and runs her hand through her hair. “She died,” she says in a whisper.
“Oh no, Dahlia, that’s terrible.”
She takes a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears she feels coming.
“It was a few days after I gave birth. There were serious complications, and I got really sick. I was so out of it and drugged up for days. There was no NICU at the hospital where I delivered so they had to transfer her. Shane was on the other side of the world chasing his big wave when it happened.”
Dahlia shifts uncomfortably under his gaze. She doesn’t want his pity.
“I felt so much guilt and shame over all of this. I was too young and immature to cope. I left California and wanted desperately to leave it all behind. But then I met you. You deserved better than all that baggage, so I went to California to get him to sign the divorce papers. Little did I realize . . .”
“That you were still in love with Shane.” Rodrigo finishes her sentence.
Dahlia nods. “We couldn’t work through our daughter’s death together. Hell, I couldn’t deal with it until recently. I’m finally able to move forward in my life. I’ve taken up my art again. That was my passion.”
“Glad I could help,” he replies facetiously.
Dahlia gives him a slight smile. “I won’t say all those ridiculous things about how a part of me will always love you and that we can be friends or that you’ll make someone very happy. You deserve better.”
“Than you?”
Dahlia nods. “Thank you for loving me the way you did. I never felt so safe and accepted by anyone else in my life. It’s just . . . I’m meant to be in California.”
“With Shane,” Rodrigo says bitterly.
“It’s different. Things are still tenuous, like it could all change still. I don’t know. But with you, I never felt more certain about anyone.”
“This isn’t making me feel better.”
“I’m so sorry, Rodrigo.” Dahlia reaches out and touches his cheek.
Chapter 34
“Hey, babe,” Shane answers his phone excitedly.
“Hi,” Dahlia replies, leaning her head against the window.
“How’d it go?”
“About as well as you’d expect.”
“I feel bad for the guy, D. You’re not easy to get over. Hell, I couldn’t do it.”
Dahlia smiles. “I’m glad you didn’t.”
“Damn straight, Mrs. Walker. When are you flying back? I’m serious about us taking that honeymoon.”
“Tomorrow. My flight arrives in the evening.”
“Awesome. We head out for Cortes around three in the morning. Surfline shows some good swells by evening. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
“I can’t wait to see you.”
“Me too. You’ve made me the happiest man, D. I’m proud of you for letting the guy down in person. Couldn’t have been easy.”
Dahlia shakes her head. “No, it wasn’t. But there isn’t anything holding us back now, is there?”
“Nothing, D. Although we have to talk when I get back to Santa Barbara.”
“Everything okay? Can it wait ‘til then?”
“Totally. God, I’m so wishing I could see you when you land. Two days and I’m already going through withdrawals.”
“Too late to cancel the Cortes trip?” Dahlia chuckles, turned on by the sudden image of screwing him in her art studio.
“Yeah, unfortunately. You know what a production it is getting the boat and the team together. But I’ll be with you as soon as I can.”
“Can’t wait, Shane.”
“Me too, D. I love you, babe.”
“I love you too.”
Black Dahlia
Chapter 1
“Hey, babe,” Dahlia says into the phone as she begins to unpack her small suitcase. “Thought you’d be home last night. You’re probably still just coming back from Cortes. Give me a call when you dock. I can’t wait to see you.”
A key jiggling in the lock startles her. She rushes downstairs and opens the door. “It’s about time, Shane,” Dahlia exclaims, catching her breath.
Her heart drops to her stomach when she sees Sebastian. The expression on his face says it all.
“Wha? What are you doing here?” She stammers.
He opens his mouth to speak, but she holds up her hand. “Wait, I don’t want to know.” Dahlia takes a step back and lets go of the door. Sebastian catches it and walks inside.
“Dahlia,” he says.
She shakes her head, agony filling her chest. “No! You can’t show up here and look at me that way. Don’t.”
“Shane.”
The sound of his name opens the floodgates. “Please don’t say it,” she cries, collapsing to the floor.
Chapter 2
Four days of crying haven’t numbed Dahlia’s pain. It feels as sharp and cold as the moment Sebastian told her Shane drowned at Cortes. And it cuts as deep as it did seven years ago when she learned their baby had died. That was the worst day of her life, or so she thought. Now, as she is forced to let go of the man she believed was hers forever, she’s reliving the devastation all over again.
“D,” Lily says. “It’s time.”
With her sister’s arm around her and Sebastian to her left, she opens the small silver urn filled with Shane’s ashes and pours them into the Pacific. The ocean was his great love, he once said—after Dahlia, of course. It gave him life when Dahlia left, and took it back when she returned to him. She curses it silently as his ashes scatter in the wind.
Shane’s friends flew in from all over the world to pay their respects. For two days they held a life celebration on the beach as a tribute to him. To Dahlia, the bacchanalian revelry seemed to be less about honoring Shane’s life and more about them celebrating the fact they haven’t yet succumbed to his fate. Dahlia stood behind the sea of faces, wondering if any of them question whether their sport, the very thing they live and breathe for, is worth the risk.
“Shane was so happy to have you in his life again, Dahlia,” his mother, Pearl, says to her as they hug good-bye outside the house. Dahlia attempts a smile but falls short with each passing day. She’s grown weary of the soothing words and hugs that bring little comfort. And when Shane’s mom had cried in her arms, she felt only resentment. She wanted to be the one to cry, not comfort. Instead, she felt she had to be strong in the face of this “tragic accident”.
Tragic, so the surfing community had termed it, because it shouldn’t have happened to a pro like Shane. What was tragic to Dahlia was that it wouldn’t have happened if he kept his promise not to surf big waves again. But he didn’t. Once again, her world is completely shattered, and the one man who helped her rebuild her life the first time isn’t around to help her now.
Dahlia swallows her anger as she pulls away from Shane’s mom. The anger is just part of her grief, Lily had reassured her that morning. Dahlia knows that. She knows it better than anyone. She’s been through it before. That’s tragedy for you, she thinks bitterly.
She manages a weak smile for Shane’s older brother, Troy. A pro-surfer himself, he was Shane’s idol and the one who taught him how to surf.
“I know it’s no consolation, Dahlia, but he died doing what he loved. We’d all prefer to go that way.”
Dahlia looks down, fighting back the tears that are welling. “I have trouble believing that.”
“The ocean’s our home. It means more to us to be there than anywhere else.”
“But he had a home with me too.” Dahlia shakes her head.
“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry,” Troy says, pulling her into his arms. “Shane wouldn’t want you to mourn him, Dahlia. Take care of yourself, alright?”
“You too,” she answers, squeezing him tight, tears falling down her face once again.
Chapter 3
“Can I get you anything, D?” Vi asks, sitting next to her on the deck overlooking the beach.
Dahlia shakes her head, not bothering to take her eyes off the sunset. The eighth one since his death.
Lily, sitting across from Dahlia, looks at her sister helplessly. She wasn’t there for Dahlia when she returned from California all those years ago. She tried to be, but Dahlia didn’t want her or anyone else around. Instead Dahlia shut out the people close to her until she had lost all her friends and burned every bridge from New York to California.
“Is there anything I can do?” She asks.
Dahlia glances up, her eyes swollen from the endless crying. “I already told you. I’m fine.”
Lily sits down and takes her hand. “You’re not fine.”
“Okay, then I’m not. Is that what you want to hear?”
“Honesty is a start,” she replies. Lily bites her lip, instantly regretting opening her mouth. She’s a businesswoman, not a grief counselor. How could she possibly know what her sister needs in this moment? Ever since they were young, Dahlia was the protective twin, although she had a funny way of showing it. Like sleeping with Lily’s fiancé the night before her wedding to show Lily what a cheating bastard he was. Dahlia believed actions spoke louder than words.
Lily couldn’t hold it against Dahlia for long. It drove Lily to spend her honeymoon in Rio alone, where she met two men. First, it was Marcelo who opened her mind and her body to pleasures she never knew with Jack. The other, Gustavo, inspired Lily to follow her heart and her desires. It was her relationship with Gustavo that showed her a greater happiness than she had experienced with her former fiancé. The courage it took to be with him gave Lily a confidence she didn’t have before. Then, when Gustavo hurt and betrayed her, it was Dahlia who helped bring her out of her depression. Looking back to last fall, when she walked in on Dahlia and Jack, Lily can barely recognize the woman she was then. She has Dahlia to thank for that. Now, it’s Lily’s turn to help her sister find her own peace through this dark time.
Sighing, she says, “I’m here as long as you need. I can deal with the lawyers and the will.”
“I don’t care about any of that stuff,” Dahlia spits out.
“I know. It’s just that once that’s out of the way, you can decide what you want to do.”
“With what?” Dahlia’s voice gets louder. “My life?”
“Well, you don’t have to start planning out your life, but eventually . . .”
“Eventually, what, Lil?” Dahlia crosses her arms. “I’ll have to move on. Is that what you’re going to say?”
Lily casts down her eyes. “No, D. I mean . . . I don’t want to sound so clinical. It’s just . . .”
“Just what, Lil? Say what the fuck you mean!”
“Are you just going to spend the rest of your life crying out here in Santa Barbara?” Lily blurts out. “Mourn him. Fine. Be sad. Fine. Cry for him. Fine. But at some point you will have to decide to stop grieving and live your life.”
Dahlia lets out a sob, covering her mouth. She collaps
es onto the chaise and screams.
“How dare he do this to me!” She cries out. “He was supposed to be mine forever! We finally had our shit together, Lil. I mean it. I swear it couldn’t have been a more perfect time for us! How could he?” It feels so good to finally unleash some of her anger that she’s been keeping bottled up—anger at Shane for going out on the water when he promised her he wouldn’t.
Seeing her sister in such pain brings tears to Lily’s eyes. Vi wipes her own tears as she watches quietly. It merely affirms to Vi why she avoids relationships. The pain of losing someone you love is too great.
Lily rocks Dahlia in her arms as she cries into her chest. “It’s so unfair, Lil. Why? Why now? Why me?”
As the sun disappears behind the horizon, Lily breaks the silence and says, “Don’t worry, D. I’ll take care of everything,” realizing after a moment, she sounds exactly like their mother.
Chapter 4
“You sure you don’t want to come with us?” Lily asks as she packs her suitcase. “I think a trip might help.” If she were Dahlia, she’d probably slip her something in a martini and kidnap her. But Lily isn’t that extreme.
Dahlia lies back on her bed, still in her pajamas, and shakes her head. “I’m not ready to leave Santa Barbara yet.”
“If you want me to stay, I will,” Lily offers. “I have to go to Miami for a few days. There are some meetings I need to attend at the network, but then I can come back. I don’t have to go to Indonesia with Vi. She’ll understand.”
“No, it’s fine. You were supposed to move to Miami a couple of weeks ago instead of being here with me. I’m sure Alejandro misses you.” Dahlia swallows hard, trying to push down the self-pity that’s creeping up. Of course her sister deserves happiness. She’s just relieved that Lily hasn’t talked much about Alejandro. It’s hard to see anyone in love right now.
“You know, D,” Lily says, “Whatever you decide to do, I’ll support you. It’s alright if you want to stay in Santa Barbara. But at some point you have to get out of this house. It will suffocate you being surrounded by all of his things.”
The Dahlia Trilogy (The Gilded Flower Series) Page 6