She didn’t think she had either, but she was going to give it her best shot. Or at least she would try to give it her best shot, she thought with irritation as Jonah sat down on the edge of her desk, looking as though he was settled there for the duration.
‘Don’t you have people to see, places to go, Jonah?’ she said.
‘I’ve a ward round in ten minutes but…Gabriel told me you and he aren’t dating any more.’
She stiffened in her seat. ‘He told you that?’
‘Not willingly, and he didn’t tell me why.’
‘I’m not telling you either,’ she said, reaching for Gabriel’s appointment book, only to see Jonah whisk it out of reach. ‘Hey.’
‘I just want to say one thing, Maddie, and then I’ll get out of your hair,’ the specialist registrar said. ‘The son of a bitch needs his head examined.’
She blinked. ‘I…Thank you. I think.’
‘Actually, I’d like to say one other thing,’ he continued. ‘It’s not over until the fat lady sings.’
She waited for a second, then stared up at him uncertainly. ‘Um, is that it?’
He grinned as he slid off her desk. ‘For now, except…Are you really OK?’
‘Of course I am,’ she said, but she wasn’t, and she knew Jonah knew she wasn’t.
Work, Maddie, she told herself, reaching for her phone as Jonah left. Figure out first how you can rearrange Gabriel’s appointments so he can meet this Professor Larson next Wednesday, and then think about what you’re going to do about the man himself.
‘Maddie, you are a genius, and whatever the hospital is paying you it’s not enough,’ Gabriel exclaimed with relief as he glanced down at his appointment book and saw the magical words, ‘Professor Larson, 2 p.m.,’ written in bold letters under next Wednesday’s date. ‘Mr Wilson, Mrs Jeffrey—all the other people I was supposed to see—they were OK about the changes?’
‘They are now,’ she said, remembering the initial ear-blasting she’d received from Mr Wilson, and the distinctly less than flattering assessment of her capabilities as a secretary she’d received from Mr Phillips. And you owe Jonah big time because he’s giving up his day off next Wednesday to cover your ward rounds.’
A glimmer of amusement appeared in his dark grey eyes. ‘Does he know that yet?’
‘No,’ she admitted, and he laughed.
A laugh that was deep and warm, and seemed to curl right round her heart, comforting it. Stupidly her heart lifted as his eyes met hers for a long moment. Then he looked away, shook his head and said, ‘Thanks again for sorting out next Wednesday for me.’
‘Not a problem,’ she said, all sunshine bright, but it was, she realised, as she walked back down the corridor to her office, and there was only one solution.
She had to get another job. OK, so other people didn’t resign when their office romances went sour but, then, other people’s ex-boyfriends didn’t promise they’d continue to come round to their homes to visit their nephews. Spending the next four months working with Gabriel, seeing him every day, making stilted conversation with him, avoiding eye contact with him, would be bad enough, but never knowing when he was going to turn up at her home? No, no way. She had to get another job.
‘And next time make sure you get a good look at every member of staff before you sign on the dotted line,’ she muttered. ‘And if any of them are any younger than sixty, get out fast.’
‘First signs, you know,’ Lynne said as she passed her. ‘Talking to yourself.’
‘Oh, I’m way beyond the first signs, Lynne. I’ve moved into the certifiable stage,’ Maddie said, and the ward manager laughed.
‘Well, working for Gabriel does that to you. Did I ever tell you about the time—?’ She frowned as her pager started to bleep. ‘Oh, blast. No rest for the wicked.’
She was gone in a flurry of starched cotton, and Maddie walked into her office and stared with absolutely no enthusiasm at all at her overflowing in-tray. Sometimes she wondered if she was cut out to be a secretary. Maybe she should have retrained to be a teacher, except she couldn’t have survived for three years without an income and the thought of trying to control thirty-five Susies was enough to make her blood run cold.
‘You should have a life of your own,’ Susie had said, and Maddie sighed.
She knew she should. She knew she shouldn’t build her entire life around Charlie and Susie, that they’d ultimately grow up and want their independence, but it was too soon for her to return to nursing, no matter how much she might miss it. She’d stick with secretarial work for another two years, until she was sure Charlie was really settled, and then she’d return to nursing, but not at the Belfield. Never at the Belfield.
And what about the personal side of your life? her heart whispered, and she shook her head. She’d vowed once before that she was off men for the duration, but this time she meant it.
‘Maddie, Gabriel wants you to phone the Scotts and get them in here as fast as you can,’ Lynne said urgently as she flew into Maddie’s office, looking tense and harassed. ‘Tell them he’s concerned about Diana’s condition, but don’t tell them anything else. Just get them in here.’
‘But…’ Maddie was talking to thin air. The ward manager had already gone, and Maddie’s heart sank as she saw Jonah running down the corridor, closely followed by Gabriel, his white coat flapping.
Diana had been doing so well, overcoming all the infections she’d caught, but if she was being asked to telephone the little girl’s parents, whatever had happened was serious, very serious.
Quickly she phoned the Scotts, and for once she was grateful that she knew nothing. No, she couldn’t tell a panic-stricken Rhona anything other than Mr Dalgleish was concerned about Diana and, no, she didn’t know any more than that, she told Simon, but could they, please, come in as quickly as they could.
‘What’s going on, Nell?’ she demanded, hurrying out into the corridor as she saw her cousin pass. ‘What’s happened to Diana?’
‘She seemed very lethargic when I came on duty this morning,’ Nell replied, ‘and then suddenly she started fitting. Jonah ordered an ultrasound and she’s had a cerebral haemorrhage.’
‘How bad?’
‘Grade 4.’
Maddie’s heart sank. A grade 4 was the worst there could be. Babies could survive a grade 1 or 2 cerebral haemorrhage, but a grade 3 or 4 would leave them severely brain damaged if not dead.
‘Are Simon and Rhona on their way?’ Nell asked, and Maddie nodded.
‘They should be here soon.’
And they were. A little over half an hour later Rhona arrived, clutching her husband’s hand, her face distraught, and as the couple disappeared into Gabriel’s room Maddie’s intercom beeped, and she hit the answer button quickly.
‘Miss Bryce, could you come along to the consulting room right away, please?’ Gabriel said, and Maddie’s heart sank even further.
He was using his official I-have-somebody-with-me voice but she could hear the tension in it and reluctantly she got to her feet. Instinct told her she wasn’t going to like this, and the minute she saw Simon’s chalk-white face and Rhona’s swollen eyes she knew her instincts were correct.
‘This brain haemorrhage Diana’s had,’ Simon said as Maddie slipped quietly into a seat. ‘I know it can lead to cerebral palsy, but cerebral palsy’s not so bad, is it? A friend of mine’s son has cerebral palsy and he’s a lovely little lad. He has to use a wheelchair but his mental capacities are all there, and you can buy wonderful wheelchairs nowadays, real state-of-the-art things—’
‘Simon, it’s not as simple as that.’ Gabriel interrupted gently. ‘Diana’s had a grade 4 haemorrhage, the most severe there is, and when a baby as vulnerable and premature as she is has a large haemorrhage, a lot of blood that should be in the bloodstream becomes diverted to the brain.’
‘Mr Dalgleish, you didn’t hear what my husband said,’ Rhona protested. ‘We don’t care if Diana’s disabled. She’s our daughter, and we�
��ll love her just the same.’
‘Rhona…’ Gabriel leant forward in his seat, his face almost as white as Simon Scott’s was, his eyes dark with regret. ‘Diana’s circulation is collapsing. Her heart can no longer deliver blood and nutrients to her vital organs. Her kidneys aren’t working any more, her liver has collapsed—’
‘But people have liver transplants, kidney transplants,’ Rhona interrupted desperately, ‘and Maddie said you’re one of the best—if not the best neonatologist in the country. That’s what you said, wasn’t it?’ she continued, turning to Maddie, her eyes pleading. ‘You said Mr Dalgleish was the best, so if it’s a question of an operation, a transplant—’
‘Rhona, I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do,’ Gabriel said, before Maddie could reply. ‘I wish there was, but there isn’t.’
‘How…?’ Simon swallowed. ‘How long before…?’
‘A few hours,’ Gabriel replied. ‘Probably less.’
A sob broke from Rhona. ‘But miracles can happen, can’t they? People who have been in comas for years suddenly wake up. People who are in awful, appalling accidents get better against all the odds, so maybe…maybe she can pull through this.’
Simon reached out and clasped his wife’s hand in his. ‘Rhona…Mr Dalgleish is saying there isn’t any hope any more.’
Rhona looked across at Maddie, pain and grief and heartache etched on her face.
‘There really isn’t any hope?’ she whispered, and Maddie shook her head.
‘I’m sorry, Rhona—so very sorry,’ she said, and Rhona drew in a shuddering breath.
‘Can…can we see her?’
Gabriel got stiffly to his feet. ‘We’ve moved Diana into a separate ward so you can stay with her if you want, until…’
‘We’d like that,’ Simon said with difficulty, then turned to Maddie. ‘Would…would you come with us, too?’
‘Of course I will,’ Maddie said, and silently she followed the Scotts and Gabriel into one of the isolation wards they normally reserved for babies suffering from undiagnosed infections.
‘She’s so small,’ Rhona said as she gazed down at her daughter. ‘She’s still so very, very small. Why couldn’t it have been me? Why does she have to die when she’s hardly lived at all?’
Maddie looked across at Gabriel in mute appeal, knowing there was no answer to this, there never was.
‘Do you want to hold her, Rhona?’ Gabriel said, and when Rhona nodded he carefully lifted Diana out of her incubator.
‘I was going to show her the world, you know,’ Rhona said, her voice breaking as she took Diana from him. ‘I had all these plans, all these dreams. I was going to show her all the beautiful, magical things in the world, and now she’s never going to see them, is she?’
Gabriel shook his head. ‘No, she’s not,’ he said, his voice rough.
Gently Rhona stroked her daughter’s cheek, then bent her head and kissed her. ‘Diana, I will always love you. You won’t be here with me, I won’t be able to hold you, but I will always love you. You’re my baby, my daughter, and you always will be.’
Tears were trickling down Rhona’s cheeks, and Maddie could feel tears welling in her own eyes as Simon bent his head to kiss his daughter, too.
‘Stay with us, sweetheart,’ he said, his voice tight, restricted. ‘Don’t leave us. You’re the most precious gift we’ve ever been given so, please…fight a little bit more. Fight to stay here with us, because without you…’
His voice broke, and Maddie had to look away because she had seen what the Scotts hadn’t. Diana’s frail chest was no longer moving up and down. She’d died while her father had been speaking, and she knew that Gabriel had seen it, too.
‘Simon…Rhona…’ he said softly, and Rhona looked up at him, saw what had happened in his eyes, and broke down completely.
Quickly Gabriel put his arm around her, then his eyes met Maddie’s and she knew what he wanted. Though the Scotts had never seemed a particularly religious couple, they might welcome the help of the hospital chaplain. With a nod she slipped blindly out of the isolation ward, the sounds of Rhona’s racking sobs tearing at her heart.
The rest of the day seemed interminable. Nobody talked about what had happened, everyone averted their gaze from the isolation ward, and never had Maddie been so glad when the clock on her office wall finally reached five o’clock.
To her surprise Gabriel seemed anxious to leave the hospital, too, and to her even greater surprise he seemed to have been waiting by the lifts for her.
‘Rough day,’ he murmured as they both stepped in.
‘How are the Scotts?’ she asked, and his jaw clenched slightly.
‘Not good.’
She nodded. There wasn’t anything she could say.
‘I was wondering if I could come round this evening?’ he said. ‘See Charlie.’
‘I’d rather you didn’t, if you don’t mind,’ she said. ‘Like you said, it’s been a rough day.’
He looked awkward, uncomfortable. ‘Actually, it’s not so much Charlie I wanted to see, it’s more…I’ve had a really lousy day, Maddie, and I could do with some company.’
She turned to face him, unable to believe her ears. Just who the hell did he think he was? He’d walked out on her on Saturday night and now he expected her to welcome him into her home and dispense tea and sympathy? OK, so he’d had a lousy day, but she’d had a lousy week and as far as she could see the weeks ahead weren’t going to get any better, and they certainly wouldn’t improve if she allowed herself to become his personal doormat.
‘I’m afraid I’m busy tonight,’ she said tightly.
‘I wouldn’t stay long—just an hour or so,’ he said as the lift came to a halt on the ground floor and she stepped out. ‘Maddie—’
‘I’m busy, Gabriel,’ she said, and turned on her heel and walked away.
CHAPTER TEN
‘NELL, being ward manager isn’t really all that different from being a ward sister,’ Lynne observed as she, Nell and Jonah sat in her small office drinking their morning coffee. ‘OK, so there’s a lot more paperwork—too much if I’m honest—but it’s not as though you’re new to the department. You know the staff, and the routine, and you’ve got seven weeks to pick my brains before I leave for New Zealand. You’ll manage fine.’
‘I hope so,’ Nell said ruefully. ‘Now that I’ve accepted the job, I don’t want to let Gabriel down.’
‘You won’t,’ Jonah insisted. ‘And Gabriel isn’t going to expect you to get everything right—not in the first few weeks.’
Nell nodded, but Lynne frowned slightly as she carried her mug over to the sink.
‘You know, if you’d said that a month ago, Jonah, I’d have laughed in your face, but now…I just can’t figure Gabriel out. For three years he was a complete pain in the butt to work for, then last month he became Mr Sunshine, and now suddenly it’s like…’ She shook her head. ‘It’s almost as though he’s had all the stuffing knocked out of him.’
Nell shot Jonah a quick glance, and he gave her an I-haven’t-said-a-word look back.
‘He’s probably just a little down because of Diana’s death last week,’ Nell said awkwardly. ‘You know how he hates to lose a baby, especially one like Diana, who’d started to look as though she’d turned the corner.’
‘Yes, but normally if we’ve lost a baby it’s keep your head down, and don’t say a word unless you want your butt nailed to the wall,’ Lynne protested, ‘but this time—nothing. Does Maddie know what’s wrong with him, Nell?’
Nell looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, and Jonah came to her rescue.
‘Shouldn’t you be taking the files for our new intake of babies along to Gabriel, Nell?’ he said, and she got quickly to her feet.
‘And I suppose I’d better get back to work,’ Lynne said reluctantly, but when the ward manager had gone Nell sat down again, her face troubled.
‘What are we going to do about Maddie and Gabriel, Jonah? I’ve trie
d talking to her, but she keeps saying it’s over, finished, and yet I know she’s breaking her heart.’
‘Gabriel says it’s over, finished, too,’ Jonah said ruefully, ‘and if I try to talk to him about it, he chews my head off. I could shake the pair of them, I really could.’
‘You know what’s going to happen, don’t you?’ Nell said. ‘Professor Larson will probably offer him a job this afternoon and Gabriel will head off to Stockholm, leaving Maddie in Glasgow, downright miserable.’
‘Not if we can prevent it, she won’t,’ Jonah said.
‘But, Jonah, there’s nothing else we can do,’ Nell protested. ‘You’ve tried to speak to Gabriel, and I’ve tried to talk to Maddie, and we’ve got nowhere.’
‘Which is why I think you’ll have to talk to Gabriel, and I’ll have to talk to Maddie.’
Nell’s jaw dropped. ‘I can’t talk to Gabriel about something like this, Jonah. I hardly know the man, and it’s so personal, so…so intimate.’
‘Nell, you’ve seen the way Maddie looks at him when she thinks no one’s watching—the way he looks at her,’ Jonah said. ‘They’re in love, and if we don’t do something they’re going to walk right out of each other’s lives.’
‘Yes, but…’ Nell gulped. ‘You know what Gabriel’s like when he’s in a temper.’
‘He’d never hit a woman,’ Jonah said firmly. ‘He’d most certainly punch me if I tried to talk about Maddie again, but he’d never hit a woman.’
‘That’s good to know,’ Nell said weakly.
‘So, you’ll talk to him?’
Nell chewed on her lip for a second. ‘OK, I’ll talk to him.’
But as she picked up the files and squared her shoulders, Nell wondered what the world record was for somebody getting a job and then losing it again, because she had a feeling she was about to break it.
‘OK, let’s recap,’ Gabriel said, gathering up the files on his desk as Nell opened her notebook. ‘I want ultrasound scans for Baby MacDonald and Baby Marshall. Baby Simpson is showing signs of jaundice, so she’ll need phototherapy, and I want the ophthalmologist to check all of our new intakes’ eyes, and the audiology technician to check their hearing.’
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