Who do these shifters think they are, controlling my life like this? she thought as she strode through the maze with her fists balled at her sides. As if it wasn’t bad enough that Kellan held me tied to a bed and then claimed that I was mated to him, he then invades my dreams and refuses to let me sleep! Why can’t they all just shut up for one night with their ridiculous wolf call so that I don’t have to fight it?
Thoughts like this continued to whirl in her agitated mind until she was fairly steaming. By the time she exited the maze, she looked as if the top of her head might blow off. The two shifters on duty seemed to notice, because their eyes widened as they looked at her, their stances automatically shifting to a defensive posture.
“An intruder!” one of them exclaimed, pulling a knife from his belt.
“Don’t be daft!” the other one snapped, though he kept his eyes firmly trained on her. “That’s Kellan’s woman… what was her name… Arya.”
“I. Am. Not. Kellan’s. Woman,” Arya growled through clenched teeth as she stepped forward. “I am my own woman, and I am tired of this nonsense.” The guards stiffened and glared at her, and she had to steel herself to keep from bolting—she knew she wasn’t entirely welcome, that she was a stranger and they wouldn’t take kindly to her tone.
“Please,” she said more softly, “tell Kellan that I am here.”
Chapter Five
Kellan walked briskly toward the gate, his heart jumping in his chest. Adam, one of the shifters that had been assigned guard duty for the day, had come running, telling him that Arya was there and demanding to speak with him.
He’d heard the legends and stories of what it was like to be fated to mate with a woman who was not of your clan, but the experience was all too different. He’d been certain it would be no big hardship to let her walk away since he didn’t care much for the idea of being mated to a human, but the past week had been utter hell. Every cell in his body protested Arya’s absence, and it only seemed to get worse. On the hunts at night with the pack, during their nightly song, he couldn’t help but infuse his cry with longing for her—a longing he neither welcomed nor enjoyed.
If he’d known exactly what sort of torture lay ahead of him, he would have never let Charles allow her to walk out of the woods. He would have tossed her over his shoulder and locked her up in his cabin until she agreed to stay with him. He was restless and moody, constantly on edge, wondering with every breath when she would return. At night, during their hunts, he couldn’t help but call for her. Every fiber of his being ached for her presence, and he couldn’t have resented it more.
He walked quickly through the village, and his heart lightened as her scent wafted toward him, relaxing the taut muscles in his body even as it tightened… other areas. Unconsciously he picked up the pace, needing visual confirmation that she was here and safe.
As the gates came into view, so did she, standing in front of the guard, her arms crossed over her chest in a defensive posture. Those dark eyes of hers sparkled with a mixture of fury and fear, and he could tell by her rigid stance that she was very uncomfortable standing out in the open with everybody staring at her.
As though she was able to scent him, Arya froze, then whipped her head around and pinned that glare on him. He noticed that even though her eyes still sparkled, some of the tension strung through her body dissipated, and couldn’t help but grinning. So, she was happy to see him too.
“It’s about time you showed up!” She jabbed a trembling finger in his direction, tears shimmering in her eyes now. “Do you have any idea the kind of hell you’ve been raining down upon me for the last week and a half?” She didn’t seem to want an answer, because she kept right on talking. “You’ve been stalking me in my dreams during what sleep I get, which is far too little because you’ve also been keeping me awake with your stupid wolf call!”
“Did you consider,” Kellan drawled, folding his arms to prevent himself from reaching out and hugging her like he wanted, “that if you’d heeded the call instead of resisting it, you could have saved yourself much of this needless suffering?”
“If by ‘heeding the call’ you mean coming back here and offering myself up to you, then yes, I admit that I did consider it countless times—or rather my body did. I’ve been fighting the impulse this entire time, and I’ve only come now because I’m asking you to make it stop. This morning my aunt wanted to call a doctor because I looked like a ghoul from the lack of sleep!” She bit her lower lip and looked around nervously and whispered through her teeth. “I know I’m not welcome here by anyone, least of all you. So why won’t you just let me go?”
He took her by the shoulders, gripping her tightly. “I’m not sure if you remember a word I said to you the last time we met, but mating is not a voluntary act. I didn’t choose you any more than you chose me. Fate is cruel, but there is nothing I can do. Of course, there is something you could do, if you’re really so keen to end this.”
“And what would that be?”
Smiling bitterly at the look of hope in her eyes, he took her hand and pressed a dagger into it. “You could plunge this into my heart. Once I’m dead there will be nothing to compel you back here. Fate only ever chooses one pair of mates, so you would not be bound to another member of my clan. Either that, or you could continue to put us both through misery until we either survive the next thirty days, or one of us dies from exhaustion. I’ve heard of that happening too.”
Arya’s face blanched, and he could tell by the combination of horror and fascination in her eyes that she was both repulsed by the idea of killing him for her freedom and tempted. Her eyes narrowed once more. “What do you mean, ‘put us both through misery?’ You don’t look like someone who has been tortured in the last few days.”
“If you’d seen me about ten minutes ago, you’d disagree. Being in close proximity to each other reverses the effects. Didn’t you notice your energy increasing the closer you got to this place?”
Arya’s eyes widened. “I… I thought that was just because I was so angry.”
“You were. In fact, you still are. But I doubt you would have been able to fuel that level of anger without that renewed sense of energy. The fact is, Arya, you and I need to be together if we want to survive. Now, why don’t you put the dagger down so we can go talk?”
Blinking, Arya looked around to see a large gathering of people watching them. A blush suffused her cheeks with vivid color, and she ducked her head. “Fine.”
Chuckling a little at her sudden change of demeanor, he held out his hand, then took hers when she placed it in his own and led her to his cabin. The crowd parted for them, and he made certain to hold the eyes of anyone who sent a hostile look toward Arya. As the Epsilon, only four other pack members were higher in rank than he, and it would not look good at all if he didn’t make it clear that Arya was his, and not to be touched. He could afford no show of weakness, either for himself or for Arya’s safety.
Shutting the cabin door behind her, he crossed the room and sat down in the wooden chair. He noticed Arya’s hesitation, and couldn’t help but smile.
“Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe for you to sit on the bed. I’m not going to tie you to it again.”
Arya glared at him. “Of course you weren’t. I wasn’t thinking about that.”
Kellan laughed as she sat down on the bed. “Yes you were. I can tell when you’re lying, remember?”
She folded her arms. “That isn’t a point in your favor if you want me to stay with you.”
He sobered. “It isn’t a part of my nature I can change.”
Sighing, she stretched her legs out and crossed them at the ankles. “Didn’t you say something about thirty days?”
“If you can outlast the call for thirty days, it’s true that the bond will be broken and we will be free of each other. But the call strengthens with each passing day, making it harder and harder to resist, and I’ve never heard of a single case where the strain hasn’t killed at least one of the two w
ho were fated.”
She frowned. “But you did say that when we are in close proximity the symptoms disappear, did you not?”
It was Kellan’s turn to sigh. “I did. But I’m no expert on mating, and I can’t say whether or not it will continue to be the same or how long the relief lasts. It could be that seeing each other for a short time every day will enable us to get a good night’s sleep, but maybe only for the next week. As I said, the call strengthens, and there’s truly no way to know. The whole point is to force us together, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“Yes, I do believe I did notice that,” Arya said dryly. “But really, what is the harm in trying? If we can do this successfully, we will be free of each other. You made it obvious to me the last time that you were not interested in being mated to a human, so I don’t know why you would object.”
Kellan hesitated, not certain whether or not he should tell her. But in the end, he thought she should know what her actions would do to him. “As I said earlier, the fates only mate us once. Should we outlast the bond and go our separate ways, I will forever lose the opportunity to have a family of my own.”
Arya stilled, and for the first time her face softened in compassion. “You cannot have children with anyone other than your mate?”
He shook his head. “It is nature’s way of ensuring that our offspring are born with as many advantages as possible for survival. We are mated to the one who is biologically compatible for that purpose.”
A knock at the door interrupted them before Arya could respond, and she stiffened.
“Come in,” Kellan called, standing.
Charles stepped inside, his blue eyes sweeping the room and then landing on Arya. “I’d heard that you’d arrived,” he said with a smile. “I am surprised you resisted the call for so long.”
Arya straightened her back, but remained seated, and Kellan held back a smile—she was being deliberately defiant. “I am still resisting.”
Charles arched a brow. “I see.” His lips twitched as he spoke. “I came in because I am trying to understand why it is you came back, if not to complete the mating.”
“She came to find relief, Charles,” Kellan interjected, drawing the Alpha’s attention to him. “She’s been feeling the effects of the mating, and wanted to know what it was all about and if there was any way I could do anything to stop it.”
Charles chuckled. “That would be like trying to stop the sun from rising.”
“I have every reason to resist,” Arya interrupted. Her eyes swirled with anger, annoyed at just how nonchalant he was about such a life-changing decision. “You are asking me to give up everything that I have left, and trust me, while it isn’t much, to abandon it in order to become part of your clan… I just —“
Kellan reached out and laid his hand on her shoulder. “We understand what we are asking of you, Arya. We know it can’t be easy.”
Arya forced a smile, though her belly heaved in waves at the realization that she was holding onto a life that had already been torn away from her. With her parents dead, her aunt was all that she had left, and while Arya did her best to help her, she still couldn’t help but feel as though she were nothing more than a burden. Yet, this clan—they wanted her—needed her to join them, yet she found herself resisting. For what reason, she couldn’t say.
“I don’t even know you,” she whispered, without thought. Her eyes remained locked on the wooden floor of the cabin. “We should get to know one another.” She forced herself to look up at Kellan, only to find his eyes dripping with sympathy. His lips were pursed tightly, as if he had to force himself not to speak his mind. Arya wished she could read his thoughts—especially now.
“Yes, we should,” Kellan finally replied with a smile.
Arya finally stood. “From the look on your Alpha’s face, I gather he would like a word with you, so I’ll leave you now and return tomorrow. We’ll talk...”
Kellan watched, bemused, as she left their company. Women. He would never understand them, and human females especially were unfathomable as their customs and ways of life were different than what he had grown up with. She was probably right about the idea that they needed to get to know each other—she was likely going to be unfamiliar with his way of life as well.
“What sort of game are you playing, Kellan?”
Kellan turned to look at his Alpha, who was scowling at him. “What are you talking about?”
“I don’t understand why you are indulging her whim. You know that during the remainder of your thirty-eight days that until you complete the mating cycle you will be vulnerable.”
Kellan ran his fingers through his hair; once more bemoaning the fact that fate had picked a human mate for him. If it had been a woman from his clan, they would have already completed the cycle, and likely he would be expecting his first child. The longer a pair waited to mate, the weaker they became from the effort of resisting the call, and the more open to attack they left themselves—hence why if he had been given a woman from his clan there would have been no wait.
“Arya doesn’t understand the implications, and I don’t want to force her. She needs a few days to get used to the idea, to get to know me, to familiarize herself with the clan and our ways.”
“All of those things can be done after you’ve completed the mating cycle and the two of you are no longer in danger.”
“She is holding onto the belief that she might be able to hold out long enough to break the cycle, in which case she will be free of me.”
“What?” Charles threw his hands up in the air. “This is madness! I’m going to get her right now.”
Kellan grabbed onto the Alpha’s shoulder, stopping him, a move that under any other circumstances would have brought down a severe set down. But they were in private, and this was his mate they were talking about. “No.”
Charles whirled around, his pupils contracted and a snarl curling his lip. “You do not give me orders, Epsilon.”
Kellan lowered his head in deference to the Alpha, not wanting to cause an all-out brawl, but did not take his eyes off him. “Please, Charles. It is my life to gamble with, and she is my mate. If giving her a few of my days to get her used to the idea is enough to win her over without force, then I have the right to do it.”
Charles sighed. “I just don’t want to lose one of my best men because of this. I know from first-hand experience just how destructive women can be once they have you wrapped around their fingers. And you haven’t won her heart.”
Kellan smiled grimly. “Not yet, but I will.”
Chapter Six
Arya had been fretting all day over how she was going to slip into the woods to meet with Kellan without alerting her aunt, but she needn’t have worried. Eve had complained of a headache and went to take a rest, and Arya had quickly finished up the chores and slipped outside without waking her.
When she’d come home yesterday from her meeting with Kellan, her aunt had commented about how well she looked, and whether or not she’d taken some sort of potion or elixir to restore the healthy glow to her face. Arya had assured her she had not, and that it was the walk that had done her the good, but since she still looked healthy enough, she wouldn’t be able to use that excuse to go walk in the woods again today.
For once she had actually slept through the night, though she had still dreamed of Kellan. Rather than being lost in the maze, though, she had dreamt that she was his mate and living with him in the hidden village. It had been an odd dream, mainly because she’d felt like a completely different person. Rather than outcast and alienated, she’d felt safe, protected, and part of a community that genuinely liked and respected her. She was friends with the women, cordial with the men, and had Kellan as her mate for comfort and support.
The thing that had really shocked her was the strong flutter she had felt in her belly during the dream—she’d been pregnant. Expecting a child. Even now, walking through the fields, she pressed a hand to her belly expecting to feel them again�
��they’d seemed so real. But there was nothing there, just her flat abdomen, and that knowledge filled her with a desolation she didn’t understand.
She hadn’t realized how much she’d wanted children until that moment. Now that she did she understood how Kellan must feel about her indecision, knowing that if they somehow did make it through the month and break off the bond, that she would be taking away his chance for a family.
Could she really do that to him? Could she really doom him to a life without children?
“Arya!” Lucas’s voice called, and she stopped, her entire body freezing. She’d completely forgotten about him. Turning, she saw him jogging through the grass toward her, dressed in a pair of trousers with suspenders and a white cotton shirt. His customary straw hat was missing so that his shaggy blond hair gleamed in the sunlight, and her heart sank. How had she allowed her thoughts about Kellan to consume her so utterly that she’d discounted him?
“Hi, Lucas.” She forced a smile.
“I came by yesterday afternoon to find out that you weren’t feeling well and not up to taking visitors. Now today, you’re looking just fine. I’m so glad to see that you’re well.” He grinned, but she saw the glimmer of hurt in his eyes. “I was wondering if I’d scared you off.”
Arya wondered why her aunt had told him she was in bed rather than out, but decided that was something she could worry about later. “You could never scare me off,” she told him, placing a soothing hand on his arm.
“Well, that’s always good to hear.” Lucas grinned again. “I was worried that maybe I had said something to offend you.”
Arya shook her head, smiling. “Never.”
“Well, since I’ve caught you now, are you feeling up for a ride?” Lucas asked.
Arya contained a sigh, unbelievably conflicted. She had promised Kellan she would come to see him today, but she didn’t want to hurt Lucas or make him feel rejected, especially when he had been obviously on the lookout for her. Besides, horseback riding did seem quite a bit more appealing than going back to the shifter village. A shudder ran through her as she remembered leaving yesterday—she’d held her head high amid the stares and whispers even though her body wanted to cower and curl up to get away from them. Even though Kellan had assured her safety, they still made her incredibly nervous. After all, they were predators.
Happily Ever Alpha: BBW Paranormal Shape Shifter Romance Page 5