by MV Ellis
Quincy darted out of my embrace and rushed to the side of the bed where she’d spent most of the night—holding Rome’s hand, stroking his pale and clammy forehead, and never moving her gaze from him, as though she thought she could heal him solely by the power of her stare.
“Hi.” When he eventually spoke, his voice was thin and hoarse.
“Hi yourself.” Her smile lit up the entire room, but more than that, it lit up my world, and my heart. “You’re sounding a little scratchy there. Want some water?” He nodded, gracing her with a wan, sheepish smile.
She reached over to the nightstand next to the bed and picked up the cup of water that was there, complete with straw. As she brought the straw to his lips and he took a thirsty gulp, almost choking himself in the process, something about the look that passed between them made my stomach lurch.
“Whoa there, tiger. Take it easy. We only just got you back. We don’t want to lose you again.” Her tone was jovial, but I didn’t miss the way it was also tinged with sadness, like she didn’t want him to know how upset she’d been but couldn’t quite muster enough acting skills to hide her true feelings.
When he regained his composure, he started trying to sit up, but Quincy urged him back. “You need to chill, or you’ll fuck yourself up more.” He looked frustrated as hell, but flopped back on his pillows with a resigned sigh, looking at her searchingly.
“King?” His eyes darted around wildly, looking for me.
“Yeah, he’s here.”
I stepped closer—I had no idea why I’d even been hanging back—taking Quincy’s hand and kissing the back of it as I joined her at Rome’s bedside.
“Yeah, I’m here buddy. Wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else.” Quincy squeezed my hand and looked lovingly back and forth between Rome and me. “But I’ll tell you something— if you ever fucking scare me like that again, I’ll kill you myself.”
Rome’s smile widened, and Quincy all-out laughed. “So let me get this straight. If he almost dies again, you’re going to kill him. Is that what you’re saying?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“Okaaaay. I won’t even pretend to understand the dynamic between the two of you, because I really don’t. You’re both bat-shit crazy.” Her smile told me she was only half-serious.
“But you love us.” I was only half-joking
“I do. Though, I thought I’d never find myself saying these words, I can’t wait to see this one”—she jerked her head toward Rome—“back to his usual giant asshole self.” He raised his hand weakly and flipped her off.
“It’s true,” I agreed. “Rather that, than worried to death about you while you’re laid out flat in a hospital bed.”
“Sorry.” It was one of the few times I’d heard him sound genuinely apologetic. Admitting he was wrong wasn’t his normal MO.
“What’s to be sorry for? I’m sure you didn’t half kill yourself just to ruin our day. There’s no need to apologize; just don’t ever do it a-fucking-gain, okay?”
“For everything…” he stopped speaking, swallowing hard. I wasn’t sure if it was the recency of having the tube removed that was giving him throat trouble, or something else.
“For being an epic dick on this tour. For ruining last night’s show. For being a selfish bastard.”
“Don’t sweat it. It’s not even a thing. I mean, it is a thing, but it’s your thing. Everyone knows that’s life with you. If I wasn’t prepared for that, I wouldn’t be here right now. Oh, and speaking of giant pains in the ass, I called Marko and let him know what’s going on. He’s sorting out flights. So now I’ll have to deal with two of the world’s biggest douches in one tiny room. Thanks for that, asshole.”
Again, I was kind of only half joking. Rome’s brother was just as big of a dick as Rome, if not slightly worse, but I didn’t have the close relationship with Marko that I did with Rome, so I had a lot less patience for his bullshit. Plus, one colossal ego in the room, or two, if you included mine, was plenty at any given time.
“No. It needs to be said. I surpassed myself—took my normal assholery to the next level. I was acting out like a fucking spoiled preschooler. The fact is, I was jealous and resentful of what you guys have, but I’m over that now, and I really did mean what I said before I passed out. I’m happy for you two. Honestly. Couldn’t have happened to two bigger pains in my ass, and you’re so cute together it kind of makes me sick to my stomach, but other than that, it’s a beautiful thing.”
“Don’t tire yourself out talking. None of this shit is important right now, or at all, in fact. What’s important is that you’re not dead or dying. You just concentrate on getting yourself well enough to get the fuck out of here—these places weird me the hell out. Everything else is literal bullshit. Okay?” I meant it. There was nothing like nearly losing someone to remind me how important they were to me.
“Just because I’m laid out like this doesn’t mean you call the shots. Nothing wrong with my brain, even though my body has seen better days right now.”
“Okay, whatever. Apology accepted. Blessing accepted. We good now?”
“Yeah.”
“Great, because I really need to use the bathroom, and to grab coffee, and something to eat. You want anything?”
“Nah. Got no appetite. Not for food, anyway.” He glanced at Quincy, probably trying to be on the DL, but discretion had never been one of his strong suits, and he was obvious as fuck. Quincy held his gaze, unflinching. In the end, I was the one to break the stalemate.
“You’re probably not allowed to eat anything yet, anyway, after all the shit you just went through. Want anything, baby?”
Quincy glanced at me, smiling wide. “I’d donate a kidney to Rome right now, if he needed to replace his vodka-drenched one, in exchange for a coffee.”
“Harsh.” Rome.
“Extreme.” Me.
“You’ve met me, right? You know I need coffee more than I need oxygen most days.”
“Truth. Never let it be said that I would willingly or knowingly part a woman from her life-force. BRB.” I swiped a quick kiss across her lips, and headed out of the room.
Chapter 33
Quincy
* * *
The door was barely closed before Rome turned to me.
“You know I’m in love with you, right?”
“What?” Jesus Christ. I hadn’t even had time to catch my breath, and the rollercoaster ride of life with Rome was back in full effect.
“You heard me.” I had heard him. I was just trying to buy myself some time to digest the huge bombshell he’d dropped. I felt like the entire world had fallen away, except a tiny sliver of solid ground under my feet, and I was in danger of falling into the abyss below.
“I heard you, but I also heard you tell King and me that you were happy for us. Literally moments ago.”
“Yeah?”
“So how can you be here saying this stuff now? Why lie to us?”
“I didn’t lie to anybody about anything. Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive. They’re both true. I’m in love with you, but I’m happy you’re with King. You made the right choice. I’m not too much of a douche to be able to see that. The two of you are great together, and I wouldn’t wish me on my worst enemy, let alone the woman I love. Nobody would.”
“I don’t understand.” That was putting it fucking mildly. I was so mad with Rome, and totally confused by what he was saying, and even more so by what I was feeling, that I couldn’t think straight.
“What’s not to understand? I love you, which means I want you to be happy. He’s a good guy. He’s good for you, because he makes you happy. He’s my boy, and I love him like a brother—more in some ways, because we chose to be friends, whereas you can’t choose your family. I want him to be happy, and you make him happier than I’ve ever seen him.” He paused, swallowing hard.
“So, I’m happy for you. You deserve it. You both do.”
“I—”
“
No. Let me say this, then we’re never going to mention it again—especially not to King, okay?” I kept silent. I wasn’t about to agree to lie to my boyfriend.
“Quincy. You have to promise not to tell him this shit. I don’t want to hurt him, or make him feel guilty for being with you. Please.” It was a rare heartfelt and earnest moment from Rome, as his dark brown eyes pleaded with me, and it just about broke my fucking heart.
“Okay. I agree not to say anything in the short-term, but I can’t say more than that. I won’t outright lie to him.”
“I’m not asking you to lie. I’m just saying don’t mention it. I’m never going to.”
“So why even tell me?”
“Better out that in, I guess. I had to tell someone, or it was going to eat me up inside. I wasn’t about to drop that shit on King, so…”
“So you thought you’d drop it on me, instead? Gee, thanks.”
“Who else was I going to tell? The only other possible candidate is Marko, but what good would that serve? He’s at least as much of an asshole as me—possibly more so—and he doesn’t really give a fuck about the finer details of my life.”
“But now I’m burdened with this information.”
“It doesn’t have to be a burden. It’s just a fact. You can ignore it, safe in the knowledge that I’m over it.” His mouth said one thing, but his eyes said another.
“Oh, I see that by the way you drank yourself into having a seizure and were hospitalized as a result.”
“Who said that the two things are connected?”
“So you mean I’m supposed to think it was random that you flipping your shit happened to coincide with the first time King and I told each other ‘I love you’?”
“What you think is up to you, but I’m telling you I’m fine. I just needed to get that off my chest, so we can move the fuck on with our lives.”
“So you can move the fuck on, you mean.”
“Yeah, that too. But so can you.” Easier said than done with this knowledge burning a hole in my brain, and in my heart.
“Really? What did you expect me to do with the information?”
He looked genuinely confused at the question, which pissed me off. I knew full well that he wasn’t as emotionally stunted as he liked people to believe. He just acted that way to put a barrier between himself and the rest of the world.
“Do? I didn’t expect you to do anything except get on with living your life and being happy.”
“I don’t think you thought that through properly. Or maybe you did, but—as ever—you failed to consider anyone in the equation but yourself. Typical.”
“Jesus, Quincy. Surely this isn’t totally fucking new news to you. You must have had some idea.”
He was right, I had. I’d seen the way he looked at me, especially when he thought nobody else was watching. I’d also felt the heat continue to sizzle between us—even as King and I grew closer—particularly on stage. But while it was just an inkling I had, a ‘maybe’, not a ‘definitely’, I could deny it, and pretend it wasn’t happening. Now he’d verbalized his feelings, and given them a name, I could no longer pretend they didn’t exist.
I shrugged, not prepared to commit to my knowledge in words. “We shouldn’t be fighting like this. You need to chill. Thank you for telling me. It can’t have been easy.”
“It’s okay; it’s just words. No biggie.” But as he spoke, he turned away from me and looked toward the far corner of the sparse hospital room, his eyes unfocused.
I was pretty sure what he’d just said was a bunch of bull crap, but like I’d told him, he needed to conserve his energy, so I wasn’t about to call him on his shit.
As though on cue, he tried, and failed, to stifle a huge yawn. Even if he’d succeeded, he couldn’t hide the droop of his eyelids as they fought impending sleep.
“Quit talking. You need your rest. Sleep. We’ll be here when you wake up.”
“Okay, but Quin?”
“Yeah?”
“Hold me a while?” His eyes were already firmly shut, so I couldn’t read his expression, but his voice told me everything I needed to know. He sounded like a lost little boy. I swallowed past the growing lump in my throat and ignored the thudding in my chest.
“Sure. Scooch over; I could use some shuteye myself. It’s been a long-ass night.”
He shuffled across the mattress, turning onto his side. I slipped in beside him, my front pressed to his back, and crossed my arm over his body. He reached for my hand, interlacing our fingers, and I squeezed tight.
“Go to sleep. Everything will be better when you wake up.” I wasn’t sure if I was talking more to him or myself, but I let the tiredness carry me under as consciousness drifted from my grasp.
Chapter 34
King
* * *
When I came back from grabbing food and coffee, the sight of the two of them curled up asleep together like that took my breath away.
Rome looked as at peace as I’d ever seen him—he was normally so tightly wound that even in sleep, he looked ready for a fight. But today he seemed like a weight had been lifted—not just from his shoulders, but also from his soul.
Quincy looked gorgeous, as usual, with her wild curls fanning out across the pillow like a bi-racial Pre-Raphaelite angel. But then that was a given—she was stunning, no matter what she was doing.
Walking into the room, anyone who didn’t know better could be forgiven for mistaking the two of them for a couple as they spooned. They were so achingly beautiful, they almost seemed like a mirage—something I’d imagined in my emotionally charged, sleep-deprived delirium.
As utterly fucking perfect as they looked together, I didn’t know what to think. My feelings hovered somewhere between jealous rage, and turned on beyond belief. The boner swelling uncomfortably in my pants was definitely fueled by a mixture of both.
I flopped into the ‘easy chair’—hard and uncomfortable would be a better description—by the side of the bed. Irritatingly, I’d lost my appetite—too preoccupied by the sight of Quin and Rome together to even think about eating—so I chugged down my coffee, and let my cluttered mind wander.
Despite the recent caffeine hit, I drifted off to sleep a few times, only to wake up with the worst crick in my neck, or having lost feeling in various extremities. Whoever designed hospital seats needed to stop treating it like airport lounge furniture, which was designed to discourage people from dwelling there for long periods. It wasn’t like people waiting around in hospital rooms had any other option.
When it became obvious that I wasn’t going to get any more sleep, I stood up to stretch my legs—and hopefully restore the blood flow. The movement must have disturbed Quincy, as she woke up with a start, blinking myopically, her gray-green eyes unfocused as she tried to acclimate to her surroundings. Her face lit up when she noticed me watching her, but as she went to speak, I pressed my fingers to my lips in a shushing motion.
“Don’t wake him,” I whispered. She nodded, then went about extracting herself from the bed without disturbing Rome. She padded across the room and greeted me with a warm smile, tiptoeing to give me a PG 13 peck on the lips.
“Hi.” Her voice was a low whisper.
“Hi yourself. You sleep okay?” I kept my voice equally quiet.
“I guess. How long have I been out?”
“Let’s just say that the coffee isn’t drinkable anymore.”
“King! You should have woken me,” she hissed, keeping her voice low.
“Why? There was no need. Better that one of us got some sleep than neither of us.”
“We could have taken turns, or something.”
“Taken turns spooning with Rome? No thanks. I really think you’re better suited to that role than me, somehow.”
She looked at the floor sheepishly. “We weren’t spooning, I think he just needed a little comfort, you know?”
“For sure. It’s okay, I understand. And you’d better believe that if ever I almost die, I’ll
be taking the hugs wherever I can get ‘em.” Fuck, I loved her.
“If you ever put me through what he just did, I’ll kill you myself.”
Despite the funk I was in, I laughed quietly at her using my own words against me. “Let’s go outside, so we can talk properly.”
“Uh, okay.” She was clearly hesitant.
I turned to her sharply as soon as the door was closed behind us, my eyes zeroing in on hers. I had her up against the wall, my lips smashed to hers, upping the rating of our earlier kiss to X-rated in no time. I slipped a hand to her throat, squeezed a little, and at the same time pushed my knee between her legs, to add pressure to her clit. When I finally let her up for air, my voice was sharp.
“Did you really choose me, or was it just because Rome was unavailable? Emotionally, I mean.”
“What? What are you talking about? Where’s this coming from?”
“I was listening to the two of you talking before.”
“Oh, you were, were you?” Her face was like thunder, just like our song. “Well my mom always used to say that people who sneak around and spy on other people deserve whatever they find out.” Her mom was a wise woman.
“That’s as may be, but you didn’t answer the question.”
“Because you shouldn’t be fucking asking, King. But since you are, you might as well know that I chose you for you. It wasn’t a competition, and you weren’t the consolation prize.”
“So you knew he was into you all this time?” I tried, and failed, to keep the anger from my voice.
“Not for certain, but I had an inkling, a strong inkling, yeah. I’m sure you must have, too.” She was very astute. Not that it surprised me. I’d known that from day one. “But I ignored it, because I was focused on you.” She sought me out with her eyes.
“So why do I feel like the fucking ‘also ran’ in all of this?” I paced the hall, the mounting tension in my body preventing me from standing in one spot.