by Cate Masters
Damn that impossibly huge moon. Her heart swelled almost as big, but empty, and with a terrible ache. Carter had disappeared weeks before. Why should that surprise her? Not surprise, just hurt.
Her mother rifled through the boxes. “Oh no, I didn’t bring enough cups.”
“I’ll go get some.” It would give her an excuse to skate for a little while, at least.
“I must have left them on the counter in the back. Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Not at all. I’ll be back soon.” She changed into her skates. Boots tucked under her arm, she took off across the ice.
With the stars brilliant as gems on such a gorgeous night, she decided to make one pass around the lake, though probably appearing conspicuously alone, gliding between couples and parents with little kids.
A man skated by then did a quick loop back to catch up to her. “Great night for the festival, huh?”
Carter! He’s back! “It’s beautiful.” Instead of skating, she might have been flying, right into that big, old moon.
Circling back to her side, he never took his eyes off her. “Like the festival during our senior year. It was a blue moon then, too. Do you remember?”
Remember? She dreamt about it, the most romantic night of her life. Carter had given her a promise ring for a future. One that had never happened. A good reminder to keep her head, even though it whirled with what-ifs. What if they’d never split up? What if they could start over again? What if…he left her all over again? He’d been gone for weeks with no word. His priorities hadn’t changed. “I have to go.”
“No, you don’t.” He slid to a slow stop in front of her.
Like a flashback from a decade earlier, it nearly brought her to a halt, too. So weird, how he looked almost exactly as he had back then. He’d let his hair grow in a little. Torn jeans, beat-up skates, probably the same ones he wore that night. And was that the same football coat?
“Yes, I do. Our booth is low on cups.” Pushing ahead, she imagined herself executing a perfect getaway, faster and faster.
Her skate caught on something in the ice and she tumbled. Loosened from her grasp, one of her boots arced through the air and landed a few feet away.
Faster than it seemed possible, Carter crouched beside her. “You okay?”
“That went so much better in my head.” Thoroughly embarrassed, she wasn’t normally a klutz.
He gave a wry chuckle. “Most things do.” More serious, he said, “But it’s not like you. You’re great on the ice. You must have hit a rough patch.”
An understatement. The last ten years had been a rough patch.
He retrieved her lost boot and leaned closer to the ice. “Ah ha. I think I found the problem.” A little digging, and he removed something and held it up.
Moonlight glinted off its silver edges.
No, that’s impossible. She could only stare at it. “The ring.” The promise ring he’d given her eleven years earlier.
From his expression, he recognized it, too. “How the hell did this get here?”
Unbelievable. Of all times for it to surface. She’d tossed it in the lake after that phone conversation with Carter, angry at him for putting his business dreams ahead of her; angry at herself for letting him go. Princeton hadn’t been so far that she couldn’t have driven there more often. She could have cut him a break. He had, after all, built a very successful company, just like he’d promised. But that hadn’t been the promise he’d made to her.
The tiniest snowflakes began to fall. Like downy glitter, the snow sparkled in the moonlight.
Then, it all rushed back, same as the last time, clouds hovered above the lake but didn’t block out the moon, low in the sky. It lent a magical air as the flakes floated to the ice, each crystal perfectly preserved by the frigid temperature. “I don’t believe it.”
Carter laughed and held out his palm. “I do. This ring reappeared for a reason.”
She could only shake her head. Magic didn’t happen. History didn’t repeat itself.
Moonlight lent his black hair a bluish cast, and a mysterious air to his smile. “You know what this means.”
She snatched her boot from him. “That I should’ve thrown it into the river instead.”
His knowing smile set her on edge.
“It’s a sign.” He said it as if she should understand some secret meaning.
More like a bad omen? Her lip quivered, and she had to look away from him and the crazy ring. Something strange was going on, and it had started the moment she’d first run into him. The night had a magical feel, wonderful, like time didn’t matter, and anything was possible. Even changing the past.
No, I don’t believe in fairy tales. She rose too fast, and her skate slipped sideways.
He caught her in his arms. “Wait, Sierra. This is our chance. We can get back what we lost.”
“Stop.” How could he say such things? How could he look so happy? She jerked from his hold.
He grasped her shoulders. “Everything that’s happened has paralleled our past, from the moment I ran into you at the rest stop. Don’t you see? It’s happening all over again.”
“That’s crazy.” Even crazier how it made sense, despite being completely implausible.
“No, it isn’t.” He looked so certain. So…blissful.
“I don’t want it to happen all over again.” Then he’d disappear like he had before. She couldn’t survive another heartbreak like that.
She skated away, the night a blur of moonlight through her tears.
***
The ring. Even though Carter held it, it seemed too incredible to be true. It had to be a sign.
He had to convince her it was a good one. “Sierra, wait.”
She skated faster.
After grabbing his boots lying on the shoreline nearby, he powered across the ice and reached the bench where she sat changing into her own.
Ice chips sprayed when his blades dug into the ice. “Where are you going?”
She tore at the skate laces. “I told you, I have to go.”
Anywhere he wasn’t going, apparently. If he let that happen, he’d lose her all over again. “You’re shivering. I’ll drive you.” He whipped off his skates and changed into his boots. “No arguments. It’s too cold to walk.” Crazy how the temperature had plummeted in the last few minutes.
She glared. “A ride to the shop. That’s all this is.”
“Okay. But I’m not going to let you freeze.” He guided her to the row of vehicles along the road.
She halted. “Your father’s truck?”
He flashed a grin. “Don’t worry, the heater works. My dad fixed it.”
“It’s not the heater I’m worried about,” she mumbled, but climbed in.
Oh, he knew what worried her. The truck. He’d borrowed it for the night, and not just because he’d promised the BMW to his little sister.
He wanted the night to be perfect, exactly like it used to be.
The engine protested his attempt to start it. She reached for the handle, probably ready to toss him a quick goodbye and chalk it up to fate. The vehicle finally rumbled to life and she met his triumphant grin with a wan smile.
When he shifted into reverse, the gear stick hit her knee. He patted her leg. “Sorry.”
Pressing her knees to the door, she said, “No, I should have remembered.”
When they were young, how many times had she intentionally stayed in the way of the shifter to feel the same pat from him?
“Don’t apologize.” He had no regret, but removed the possibility of further contact by putting it in neutral.
She stared out the window, distant as the damn moon.
Just ask. “Sierra, I want to see you. Would you have dinner with me tomorrow?”
She whipped her head to face him. “Aren’t you still married?”
“My marriage has been over for years. I haven’t been home since last January.”
“January?” Her lip trembled. “You haven’t
seen her since then?”
That’s right; Ted was killed in January. Another weird coincidence. “Not until the day she barged into Bliss. She’s been filming the TV show, or traveling.”
“I don’t understand.” She took a sudden interest in her gloved hands. “But it’s none of my business.”
He slid his hand into hers and squeezed. “Yes, it is. You know it is.”
She fumbled for the handle. “I better walk.” The latch only lifted a little, despite several hard pulls. “What’s wrong with this door?”
He reached around her. “It sticks. But I wish you’d stay and talk—”
“I really can’t. Not now.” She finally opened it, but the sweater beneath her coat caught on the zipper of his open football jacket. “Oh no. Can you let me loose?”
He smoothed a strand of hair from her cheek. “I don’t want to.” This same scenario had played out years ago during another fight. She had tried to run away but couldn’t because his shirt had caught in her coat zipper. Guess you’ll have to take me home with you, he’d joked, and cursed his bad luck when kissing her again disentangled them.
Fate was at work. A second chance.
She shook her head. “Carter….”
“I know what a terrible mistake I made when I let you go. I don’t want to ever let you go again.” He eased in to kiss her.
The radio played Eddie Vedder’s, Love, Reign O’er Me.
Her wide eyes met Carter’s knowing gaze. “This is just like….”
“I know.” Was she starting to believe it? Ten years ago, they’d had more than their fair share of bliss and let it slip away. “I want it back,” he whispered. “Everything we had.” He touched his lips to hers, a soft, brief kiss. “And more.” More of her, more of what they’d missed out on all these years.
The next kiss lasted longer, though she held back. He wouldn’t push her, but want pulled him in opposite directions. Toward her, and back, over and over until the desire for her won out. More than a simple want, its layers wove together desire and need and tenderness and love. He loved her in a way he’d never loved anyone. He’d give her anything, do anything for her, do anything to get her back.
If kisses could speak, his told her every secret his heart held. The silent communication must have begun to convince her. Like a flower unfurling its petals, she opened to him. Her kisses asked for more, and he was more than happy to give her whatever she wanted.
Their bodies tangled in ways he hadn’t managed since they were teenagers. Her legs wrapped around his. They locked in an embrace so complete and yet not nearly complete enough, both still fully clothed. He couldn’t get enough of her.
Shrieks and pops sounded outside, and huge blooms of light flashed in the sky.
Breathless, she peered through the fogged windshield. “Fireworks. We’re still at the lake.”
Woozy with need, he reached his lips for hers. “I don’t care where we are. I want to be with you.”
She ducked her head. “What are we doing?”
“Making out?” He kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger on her soft skin. “Same as we used to.” They hadn’t lost that much between them. In fact, it was better than before.
Pushing him away, she disentangled from their contortioned embrace. “Stop, let me go.”
“What? No.”
“I need some air.” Grasping for the door, she gulped as if drowning and climbed out. “To clear my head.”
“Sierra.” The cold air blasted into him, a stark contrast to moments earlier, but he knew better than to go after her.
Tonight they’d taken a step closer to one another, but if he wasn’t careful, he’d be the one out in the cold for good.
The ring. His fingers found it immediately in his pocket, hard but warmed from his body heat. Incredible to find it after all this time.
Almost as incredible as finding her. And her kisses told him everything he needed to know. She still loved him, but fear held her back. Of what? That he’d abandon her again? Never again. He’d come home for her. In his mind, he already lived here. And in his heart. Eventually, she’d come to realize how much she meant to him, how much he wanted to be with her.
The snow had stopped, the only proof of the earlier snowfall a thin, sparkling layer of brilliant white coating everything in sight.
He slipped the ring back into his pocket and drove, the full blue moon so bright he hardly needed to switch on the headlights.
***
The scent of the cream cheese cinnamon squares wafted from the small kitchen and filled the air. A crazy time to be baking, but Sierra knew better than to even try to sleep. Since leaving Carter, her brain wouldn’t stop arguing with itself.
I shouldn’t have left him there.
Oh, but if you’d stayed, you know exactly what would have happened.
So what? I love him.
Yes, but—
But nothing. I need to call him.
Should she? She wanted to, but held back. If the blue moon truly meant the past would repeat itself, then fate would work its magic without her help.
Right?
You’re hopeless.
She removed the tray from the oven, arranged the treats on a festive platter, and snapped a few photos for her blog. Sharing the recipe should make up for the lull between postings.
What a crazy New Year’s Eve. She’d almost bought into Carter’s talk about blue moons. Second chances. Magic.
A magical night, it was not.
The doorbell chimed. The silhouette in the leaded glass showed someone tall and lean. Carter.
The moonlight electrified her. Steeling herself, she opened the door enough to say, “Go away. You’re married.”
He leaned against the frame, inches away, but close enough for her to feel his warmth, his yearning. Their earlier heat rushed at her. She grew dizzy, but couldn’t look away.
“I tried to stay away, but couldn’t. And I’m waiting for the divorce papers. It’s only a matter of time before it’s final.” His soft tone held urgency.
“Oh, Carter. If only that made everything hunky dory, I’d be one happy woman.”
“Would you?” The hope in his voice nearly crushed her.
Don’t do this, she pleaded silently.
He inhaled deeply. “Mmm, what smells so good?”
“Cream cheese cinnamon squares.” How could a dessert sound so much like defeat?
“My favorite. Got any extra?” he asked playfully.
“What are you doing here, Carter? It’s nearly midnight.”
“I’ve been driving since you left. Thinking.”
Don’t ask about what. The same thing she’d been obsessed with since stumbling away in a love-drunk mess—their relationship. Or lack of one.
“Anyway,” he said, “I saw your lights on. Why are you baking so late at night?”
Because after his kisses, she could kiss sleep goodbye for the night. Wired, all she could do was bake. “Why do you keep showing up when I asked you not to?”
He wagged his finger. “You said to stay away from your parents’ shop.”
She gripped the handle tighter. “You can’t simply appear at my door. It’s unacceptable.”
“Should I go to the window instead?”
“You are not funny.” Yes, he is. He’s adorable. She refused to smile.
He grew somber. “Would you have seen me otherwise?”
Would she? If he’d called and asked again to take her to dinner, would she have refused? Not likely. If he’d called and asked if she wanted him to warm her bed, she probably wouldn’t have refused that either. But she’d have regretted it.
“I’m not giving up.” The way he stared at her, he saw right through her.
“What?” Don’t lose it. Her husband had pressured her to the breaking point, and she’d always caved in an emotional heap.
“On you. On us. I’m not letting you go again.”
She had to glance away. Despite everything, what she really want
ed was for him to take her in his arms, make her feel as warm and secure as he had before.
“Please, Sierra. I want to see you again. I think you want to see me, too. Don’t let the past control our future.”
Fingers firmly on her jaw, he kissed her—a long, slow, tender melding of lips so full of passion and promise, her knees almost buckled.
“Don’t shut me out,” he said softly. “Please.”
Afraid to move, even nod, she held perfectly still. Otherwise, she’d have hooked her arms around his neck and locked him in another kiss.
Since arriving in Bliss, she couldn’t stop thinking about him, how warm and strong his arms were, and how he held her tightly, but not so much she couldn’t wriggle free. Except that Ted kept popping into her head. Telling her how stupid she was for believing it could work.
He’s gone now. Don’t let him hurt you anymore. And this time, Carter had kept his promise. He’d come back.
She moved out of the way. “This is ridiculous. It’s cold. Come inside before my heating bill goes through the roof.” Right after my heart.
He crossed the threshold. “Are you sure?”
“I’m not sure of anything anymore, but we should talk.” She shut the door. “You’re married to a crazy woman, but that doesn’t make it okay that you’re here. Not that I don’t want you here, I do, or at least, I would. If you were single. But you’re not. It’s all too complicated.” And confusing. She fisted her hair against her head. What had she just done? She never intended to let him inside. You kissed him in his father’s truck, like you did in high school. It’s all over now.
He took off his coat and hung it up. “You’re doing that thing, aren’t you?”
“What thing?”
Worry left his face, and he appeared younger. Happier. “The thing you used to do when we were kids. You’re thinking up scenarios, working out what I’ll say, what I’ll do, how you’ll respond.”
Damn it, he remembered, even if she’d stopped the practice after marrying Ted. She never liked to imagine what her husband would do next, especially after a six pack. Did Carter think about those times they shared in high school as often as she did?