by Celia Kyle
“Yes.” She nodded. “I doubt she’s responsible for what happened to you. She’s not that strong. But it doesn’t mean she’s not a supporter. Her anger is…”
“She hates you.” Harding released a mirthless laugh.
“Does she?” Tess raised a brow. “Or is it a cover?”
“You said—”
“I said that she hated me because of our past.” She shrugged. “It doesn’t mean she doesn’t believe in the cause. You forget that I got shuttled around. There’s no telling what could have happened when I wasn’t present. Hating me and supporting Freedom aren’t mutually exclusive.”
Harding remained silent, his eyes no longer focused on her, but distant. She practically saw his thoughts tumbling through his mind, their low buzz stroking her consciousness in a vibrating caress. She couldn’t manage to snag a single one, but they rolled around in his head.
She let her gaze wander over the rest of him, noting the tension in his limbs as well as the bags beneath his eyes. He hadn’t slept last night either. Good. She’d been torn apart all night, her body demanding that she hunt him like prey while her mind screamed that it couldn’t happen. There was too much risk, too much at stake. Selfishness had no place in her life. Not now, not ever.
His gaze finally snapped to her, his mouth opening to speak, but he swallowed the words when Jackie pushed past him. Well, pushed was a bit of an exaggeration. Jackie shoved at Harding, but she barely managed to dislodge his arm, his limb shifting just enough for the twig of a woman to slip by.
Jackie had her trademark sneer in place, accentuated by blazing gold eyes. A shiver of dread tinged with a dash of fear overtook Tess, but she shoved it down. Fear had no place when it came to dealing with Jackie. Hell, it had no place at all in a compound filled to the brim with shifters.
“Why am I here?” The woman flexed her hands, and the slow emergence of lengthened, sharp nails was easy to see.
Tess cleared her mind, shoved at the rage that threatened to overwhelm her. “With what happened to Harding and—”
The man in question cut her off. “Because the Council ordered it. Now sit and do what Tess says.” His tone brooked no argument.
That didn’t stop Jackie from glaring and baring her inch-long fangs at him. With a hiss, she moved away from Harding. Jackie inched around the room, finally settling in the office chair in front of the desk. The woman didn’t say another word as she glared at Harding.
Tess took a deep, cleansing breath and then turned her attention to Jackie. Hands outstretched, she approached the woman, refusing to let her trepidation show through. Mentally, Tess was more powerful. Physically, not so much. Touching Jackie would put Tess at the other woman’s mercy.
Not something she was looking forward to.
The glow in Jackie’s eyes intensified with Tess’s approach, and the cloying stench of anticipation and bloodlust hit her, blanketing her in the gooey scent. Yet Tess continued. She had a goal, a purpose. She simply had to scan four women, find Freedom supporters and Harding’s attacker, and she’d be free. So simple and so complex at the same time.
Harding’s massive body stepped between her and Jackie, cutting her off from her destination.
“What are you doing?” He snarled at her, and she jerked back in surprise.
“You wanted me to scan her, so I’m scanning her. I need to touch her to dig—”
“The fuck you will!” Jackie fought to come around Harding, claw-tipped fingers reaching for Tess. “I’ll kill you first, you stupid cun—”
“Enough!” The roar was loud enough to shake the room’s reinforced walls.
Shrugging his shoulder, Harding brushed off Jackie’s touch, forcing the woman to stumble back into the chair. An oomph came from Jackie, and Harding spun toward her. A low whisper filled the air, Harding furiously hissing at the other shifter, but the words were too low for Tess to hear. Finally, he straightened and turned aside, allowing her to see a now pale-faced Jackie.
“I don’t want you touching her.” Harding snarled the words.
Tess sighed. “It’s necessary. I can’t get deep enough unless I—”
Jackie curled her lip but remained silent.
A low growl rumbled through the room. The deep baritone dug beneath Tess’s skin and sent her bones rattling. “What about through me?”
She furrowed her brow. “Through you?”
“I’ll touch her, and you can touch me.” The words were thrust past lips that were now more animal than man.
“I’ve never tried…” She let the idea roll through her, thinking on the intricacies of navigating one mind to get to another. It wasn’t as simple as opening a door and padding through a room. She had her animal tendencies to overcome, and she had to hope that Harding’s two halves didn’t fight against her presence as she crept into Jackie. Coupled with Harding’s attraction to her, she wasn’t sure if they’d be alive when all was said and done. “I don’t know. You’ll be so open …”
You’ll be open to her. She’ll be able to see you. She’ll be able to look at your every memory while I search through her. She’ll see your parent’s deaths and your suffering and…
Harding snared Jackie’s wrist, wrapping his fingers around the slim bones. The woman fought and jerked against his hold, yet he didn’t move an inch.
With her secured, he held out his other hand for Tess. “Do it.”
Tess stared at his hand, noting the crisscross of scars that decorated his skin. Memories that she’d been suppressing with all her might—Harding’s memories—threatened to overwhelm her. And they’d been so, so detailed. The stench of his parent’s blood as it coated the asphalt… The burning gas and oil from the engine… The heavy dirt of the forest that rested beneath the overturned car…
He’d been alive, crawling and stumbling toward his parents. He still walked on his left leg. The break was nothing, even if the bone nearly broke through his skin. He hadn’t recognized pain. There’d been nothing more important than his mom and dad and helping them and…boom.
She hadn’t had the opportunity to see much more after that. Not with the renewed attack and…
A warm hand enveloping hers snared her attention. “Do it, Tess.”
Tess stared into those glacier eyes, searching for true permission. Words were nothing to her. It was in the eyes…
And she found what she needed. Acceptance of what she would find, what they would go through together, and trust that they would emerge whole on the other side. Trust. A simple word, but so complex when she saw it as something physical.
She hoped she deserved it.
Dear God: please don’t let me fry anyone’s brain. Please.
*
Please let her not fry my brain. Please.
That was his last thought before Tess took over. Suddenly her entire presence filled him, sliding into every part of him, crawling into each nook and cranny. Much to the joy of his lion. The beast bounded to her the moment she materialized, rubbing his scent all over her ethereal body. It rumbled and purred, head nudging her hip as he moved around her. The cat’s fangs scraped her wrists and he nudged her palm with his muzzle, encouraging her to pet him.
Needy beast.
Tess’s tinkling laugh filled him with joy. “You’re just jealous.”
Harding didn’t deny it. True, the cat was part of him, and any affection Tess gave the feline was affection to him, but it was…different. She was snuggling the beast, not the man. After last night, he wasn’t sure if she wanted the man. And that irked the hell out of him.
The lion grumbled, nipping and tugging on Tess. Beneath it all, Harding sensed a word emerging from the beast’s mouth, a single syllable that would send the world crashing down around him. She’d already told him that mating and men weren’t in her future. How would she react to finding out she was his mate? Because when all was said and done, she’d be his. He hadn’t had anything of his own to love in so long… Tess was his, damn it. His.
A low growl re
ached him… Mmmmmiiiii—
Tess? Jackie is getting impatient. She’s fighting… He let his words drift into the ether. A small lie, but enough to pull her away from the lion, who was poised to ruin things even further.
“Right.” She nodded. “Just hold on. I have to leave a hint of me here, but I’ll move on to Jackie. You’ll…” She paused and nibbled her lower lip. “You’ll get a bit of feedback. Try to remember that it’s not your memories filtering through, but hers. I’m not sure what I’ll find, but it could be…bad.”
With that, she faded, floating body thinning until barely a hint of her remained.
And then he waited, time ticking past as his lion paced around what was left of Tess. The cat was not pleased with her sliding away, leaving herself vulnerable to the other woman. It knew of the attacks on Tess, the way the shifter had tried to harm what belonged to them. No, it detested Jackie and more than once had urged Harding to do something about the woman. Its recommendation was to eat her, but the cat would have been happy with killing her outright.
An odd sensation overtook him, like ants crawling over his skin, pricking him with every step. He shuddered and shivered, wishing the feelings away, but instead the sensations grew. Then the thoughts came, the experiences, the horrors…
A stranger backhanded him, a leer on his face, and he wiped away the spot of blood that escaped his lip. Then it was rape, the pain and agony of being violated…
Jackie.
This time a true beating, bones breaking and skin bursting with each strike. His inner-beast howled but remained restrained by…someone.
That had been the first attack. The encounter just before Tess’s appearance changed both of their lives.
Whispered voices invaded, endearments, sweet nothings, coos and pet names. This was a hint of happiness in the blackness of Jackie’s mind. Large hands stroked him, and he brought his gaze to…
The memory faded before he could glimpse the person that had made her happy.
It was the only glimpse of joy that Harding received.
More of Jackie’s past assaulted him. Conversations flitted to him as if on fast forward, the words were recognizable yet not.
Love. Hate. Tess. Die. Pleasure. Pain.
It all spun round and round, his memories seeming to twine with Jackie’s until he couldn’t separate one from the other.
Jackie’s beating became his, yet different.
He recalled lying on the ground, surrounded by his pride, his uncle now Prime. They beat him. Shouting that his father couldn’t protect him any longer. He was an abomination. White cats were weak, didn’t deserve to live. Claws sliced through his skin with exacting precision, and the bearers left him to die.
Then it switched to Alistair looking into his eyes and flashing an evil grin as he called him a whore and spit in his face.
No. That wasn’t right. Alistair hadn’t been there. That must have come from Jackie. And they hadn’t left him. Not really. They’d tied him down, cutting him over and over for days until…
The scene tumbled into another… Alistair screaming, ranting and raving and threatening…Tess. Blood tumbled from his mate’s lips, and he was filled with smug satisfaction. No, he wouldn’t feel that way, but Jackie would. Harding’s cat roared and snarled at that memory, demanding that he do something.
But he couldn’t. Not until Tess returned and released them all. Then he could turn on the woman who had harmed their mate.
More of the past spun by, the tone gradually changing from fear and pain to a mixture of hate, rage, and joy. Images of Jackie meeting with Alistair and others came to him. The woman no longer cowering in fear, but standing beside those that had harmed her. Triumph filled her.
Ah. They’d come to the end, the heart of the matter, and Harding briefly wondered if he was interpreting what he was seeing correctly.
Then his world transformed, swirled and showed him proof of the woman’s allegiance. Jackie had been present for Maddy’s abduction, hidden in the shadows. She’d tormented Elise while the fox was with Freedom. She’d even been in the farmhouse where Deuce had been held, had eventually gone to Alistair’s side after Elly had killed the polar bear.
The woman was neck deep in Freedom’s evil illegal affairs, and now she’d be handled. Had she lived through a tormented past? Of course. But she’d also sided with Alistair and furthered the man’s crimes.
Tess. Come back.
“Just a minute.” Her voice was so strained, so soft in his turbulent mind.
Let go, Tess.
“Just a—”
He felt himself losing her, the ghost-like outline of her body fading even further from his view. The lion roared, shaking his entire world with the force. The cat scratched and clawed at him, demanding that Harding take action to secure what belonged to them. He was failing, not protecting their mate, letting her be hurt, and he wouldn’t have it.
Harding growled. She was stubborn, and he knew she wasn’t about to come back without a fight. The beast was in agreement, their thoughts one. It nudged what was left of Tess and took her nearly gone wrist into its mouth. The cat looked to him, pleading with him to get their mate to return. She had ferreted out the information they needed. There was no sense in delaying.
Now. He couldn’t have withheld the command to save his life.
“Just—”
You’re my mate, and I want your happy ass out of her right now! The lion added his own roar and bit down on Tess’s wrist, yanking on her ethereal body. Had the woman been whole, the cat would have snapped the bones in two with ease.
All thoughts stilled, a void of nothingness wrapping around it all and sucking them into a vacuum. He felt the snap of Tess returning and then slipping out of him. True consciousness returned, and he opened eyes he didn’t remember closing.
To his right, Jackie sat in the chair, eyes glowing amber and a hiss escaping her lips. The snarling growl filled the air.
To his left, he found a dazed Tess staring at him, her eyes wide yet unseeing.
“Mate?” The word was thin and reedy.
“Mate.” He jerked his head in a quick nod, confirming his answer.
“Oh.” With that, her lashes fluttered and she collapsed into herself, body going limp.
Harding snatched her to him before she could hit the ground and he held her to his side with one arm. It was then he realized he still held fast to Jackie, the female now reaching toward Tess with razor-sharp claws. Without hesitation, he used his strength to yank her to the side, flinging her tense body against the opposite wall. He bellowed to the guards outside the room, his roar echoing off the thick walls, and one of the men burst through the door.
“Sir?”
Harding waved toward a crumpled Jackie. “Secure her.”
“Sir?” This time it truly was a question, a reaffirming of his order, because they’d all been careful of the women since their arrival. These were the battered and abused and were to be treated with kid gloves. With Jackie, he was over that shit.
“Now. She stays in her room. Two guards outside the door.” Harding didn’t spare a glance for the other shifter, too concerned over Tess. More and more of her weight rested against him. The moment a hissing and spitting Jackie was yanked from the room, he swung his mate into his arms.
Careful of his precious cargo, he slid her onto the bed, easing her over until she was near the wall and farthest from the door. As soon as he had her situated, he crawled in beside her and then tugged her against him. She was passed out—again—and he wouldn’t leave her until she woke.
Holding her after she passed out seemed to be becoming a habit.
* * *
Waking up in Harding’s arms seemed to have become a habit.
His scent surrounded Tess, the earthy smells of musk and man enveloping her in their comforting embrace. She snuffled and moaned, burying her face against his chest. Muscles shifted and tensed beneath her cheek, but otherwise he remained motionless. She gave herself a moment to en
joy his embrace before all hell broke loose. She knew there were things to be said, arguments to be had, but she wanted to delay as long as possible.
She snuggled closer, aligning her curves to his hard planes, and sank into him. He was so hard and tough, so grumbly and growly, but she’d seen it all now. The good and bad—mostly bad—had played out before her as she dug through Jackie’s past. She’d never chanced a connection like they’d shared. While it hadn’t gone well, it hadn’t rendered anyone brain dead either. At least, she didn’t think so.
Those strong arms tightened ever so slightly around her, giving her a gentle hug, and she knew her time was running short. She could avoid him for only so long. Unfortunately.
He stroked her back, sliding his arm along the length of her spine. Up and down, he soothed her, petting her until she felt like a happy kitten, just on the verge of releasing a purr. Instead, she gave him one last nuzzle and then sighed, easing away from him. Except he wasn’t having it. He held her tighter, not giving her the opportunity to separate them.
“Harding…” She pushed again.
“Nope. If I let you go, you’ll run, and I think we’ve got a few things to talk about.”
“I’m thinking no. M’kay, buh-bye.” She shoved at him, a hint of panic aiding her movements. Talking was bad. Talking would reveal feelings, and she’d had enough of baring her soul for the day.
Suddenly, Harding rolled them, placing his much larger body above hers and easily trapping her beneath him. “I’m thinking yes, Tess.”
She snorted. “You’re a poet and didn’t know it.” She poked at his shoulder. “Now, lemme go, and we can forget…everything.”
But…but his pale blue eyes darkened, his expression turning serious while he stared down at her. With a delicate brush of his fingertips, he nudged aside wayward strands of her hair. The barely-there touch sent a frisson of heat down her spine, and she couldn’t have suppressed the soft shiver that raced through her if her life depended on it.
“Tess…”
Why, why, why did she have to find a mate? Shifters spent their lives looking for their other halves, and she’d always prayed that no one would want her. Not with the risk of what she could become after mating. There was no telling… Tess’s heart broke, sharp bolts of pain overwhelming her as it splintered and cracked. Yes, she could love this man, this shifter who’d taken care of her every time she got into trouble. But she couldn’t allow it.