Blithe leans in, close to my ear. “I think today is more important than either of us imagined.” I try to control a shudder that runs through my body with her words. “I like your necklace,” she tells me before stepping back.
I glance down at the small owl charm around my neck. I haven’t taken it off since Adam placed it around my neck. Seeing it now, the bright blue gemstones in the owl’s eyes compliment the dress perfectly. It makes me realize how much I truly miss having Adam in my life. Even if what we were doing was wrong, even if I was the one to push him away. It’s been weeks since we’ve talked, since he’s seen us. I’m sure my appearance today will do nothing but open old wounds, because now it’s believable, there’s no mistaking the pregnancy.
We open the other garment bags to find dresses for the girls and suits for the boys. All of the clothes are simple, yet elegant. Sam and Blithe change as I help the children. Blithe works on Lina and Astrid’s hair as I comb the boys’ hair and straighten their ties. Just as we finish there’s a knock on the door.
Elvis enters, wearing his Volker uniform. It looks strange since we usually see him in regular clothes as he works around the farm. “You all look very nice,” he smiles as he speaks.
Morris re-enters the room behind him. “Spectacular.” He gleams, looking to all the faces in the room.
There are more footsteps in the hall. Alexander enters the room, followed by Crane and… Adam.
I grasp the small owl hanging on the thin gold chain around my neck. I look to him, only for a second-just enough to see the hard look on his face-aware of the fact that he can’t even look at me. I release the charm from my grasp and turn my attention back to the others.
“Ah, look what we have here,” Crane opens his arms, greeting the room. “The past, present, and future of the Phoenix District, all in the same room. What a momentous event today will be.” With that he clasps his hands together and then turns his attention to me. “I take it you are ready?” he asks. But I know it’s not really a question. He holds his hand out to me. “Let us go now.”
I make no attempt to take his hand. Blithe’s magic may have made me look presentable but it did not change me, the past, or everything that Crane has done to us. I take Lina’s hand and walk behind Crane. Everyone is quite nervous, unsure of what to expect. The only noise is that of our shoes echoing in the hallway.
Elvis and Adam take up the back of the group as Crane walks us to the stage. The curtain is down. There are dull lights and a murmuring coming from the auditorium. For an instant I remember standing on this stage, receiving my diploma in Genetics so long ago. Little did I know where it would lead me in life.
We stand in a straight line, waiting. Crane signals to a worker standing to the side of the stage and the curtain rises. The crowd hushes, the murmurs become faint then disappear. The sweat returns to the back of my neck and I can feel my heart start to beat harder. I hate public speaking. As my eyes adjust to the lights, I see the auditorium is packed with men, women and children. Volker guards line the stairways and rows of the auditorium seating.
Crane walks up to the podium. “Dearest Residents of the Phoenix District, I would like to welcome you all.” He opens his arms, smiling. The crowd remains silent. I look to each side of us, the row of Sovereign, to see Adam and Elvis standing sternly, looking out into the crowd.
Crane starts speaking, restating the opening paragraph of the manifesto. “Few of you may know what happened to the United States last year, as you were protected within the walls of the Phoenix District. An unknown entity is responsible for the obliteration of the United States. The world super power that was once is no more. The United States is now a desperate wasteland, destroyed by bombs and human indifference. Let’s watch.”
A large screen lowers from above the stage and the lights dim. Images flash across the screen, the bombs flying through the air just as I saw them from the water tower. Then I couldn’t see their impact, but now on the screen there are aerial views of the deep craters left in the ground, the rubble of buildings, people wandering in despair, makeshift graveyards, gunfire, people running, mobs looting. I have no idea how Crane managed to obtain this footage or if it’s even real. The crowd watches, flinching at times, mothers covering their children’s eyes. It ends with the blazing symbol of the phoenix etching from the headquarter doors, the image similar to what has been burned into the skin of the Sovereign.
Crane returns to the microphone. “You have been chosen to live a life of protection and value. Agreement to the guidelines listed within this guide will ensure your place within the District. If at any point you wish to brave the violence and destruction of the world outside these walls, you may leave. Remember we only protect those who will preserve the integrity of the Phoenix District. With that I give you someone you may all remember, someone who has become an integral facet of our lives. You may recognize her as your Matchmaker, Andromeda.” He turns, sweeping his arm to me.
There are murmurs from the crowd again. A few people point at me, whispering. I can’t hear what they’re saying, all I can hear is the pounding of my heartbeat in my ears. The layer of sweat thickens on my neck, threatening to turn into a trail down my back. I feel Lina squeeze my hand and shake my arm. “Mommy,” she whispers. “That’s you.”
My walk to the podium is apprehensive. The last time I approached a crowd was at the Genetics in Modern Society seminar over six years ago, when I was presenting my research. I was confident then, even angry when Dr. Drake interrupted me and bashed my findings. That confidence is gone now. I’m not merely playing with the rat genome anymore, we are changing the human race. Crane is playing God.
Crane adjusts the microphone to my height then walks back to the row of Sovereign. I remember I’m supposed to be saying something, but the words have escaped me, just for a moment, while I take in what we are about to become. A new society, what Crane has been working towards for so long. Right now, at this moment, I am about to accept my new role, my new life. Everyone will know what has happened, what lies in store for their future. I turn around, looking to the row of children, Sam, and Lina. Their future is all I have left to protect. It will never be the same, we can never go back, and everything changes right now whether I like it or not.
I turn back to the crowd now, my skin feeling different, my height a little taller. I try to remember the words I’ve been memorizing for weeks-Crane’s speech. But it all escapes me now. I can’t remember a lick of it.
“Good people of Phoenix,” I start, smiling, putting on the best act of my life. “Congratulations, welcome. Some of you may remember me, and I you. There have been plenty of changes occurring recently. I’m hoping we did our best explaining what has happened and where we go from here. But I assure you, we are safe here. Right now trust in the District is all we have left.” I pause, catching as many eyes as I can as I scan in the crowd, trying to make them believe. “I say this not as a Sovereign, but as a mother and a resident of Phoenix myself. We are your Sovereign, we will protect you, we will lead you to a better tomorrow.” I’m not sure why I do it or what compels me to raise my hand in the air, but I stand there, the speech finished, holding my wrist forward with my hand bent back so the crowd can see the image burned into my skin.
At first there is silence, then a slight humming of words from the crowd of Residents, murmurings, clapping. I’m not sure if it’s of joy or excitement, maybe relief. Soon, all I can hear is the sound of the Residents as they applause in unison.
Elvis and Adam usher us off the stage, back to the waiting room. I hold tight to Lina’s hand the whole way, afraid to let go. Crane enters the room last, his eyes bright, clasping his hands together. “Excellent, Andromeda, better than I had hoped. They loved you! I knew this would work.” He walks himself in a circle, obviously giddy with the success of the speeches. “Now, we attend the banquet!”
--
The banquet is held in the campus cafeteria. The room is large and there are sparse groupings of peopl
e spread throughout. I grab onto Lina’s hand, afraid that she may wander off. I see a few people I know-Dr. Akiyama and Kira-who used to manage my lab, before we moved to the Pasture.
“Mommy, I’m hungry.” Lina pulls at my hand. The thought of food churns my stomach, the last thing I can do right now is eat.
“I can take her to the buffet,” Sam holds his hand out for her to take.
“Don’t let her out of your sight,” I tell him. “I’m going to get some water.”
We go in opposite directions. Sam towards the food and me towards a table with rows of beverages. I choose a glass of water with slices of lemon, and then I turn, scanning the room. I notice someone is walking towards me. He’s tall, thinner than I’ve ever remembered, but the brown eyes and shaggy blonde hair are the same. It’s Ian. I catch a glimpse of Crane watching from across the room. This must be part of his plan. Maybe it’s his punishment for me pointing the gun at him, or not repeating the exact words he wrote in my speech.
Ian looks at me strangely, his brow twisting in confusion. “I know you,” he tells me.
“Yes, you do, Ian,” I keep my voice calm.
“We were together once, weren’t we?”
I simply nod yes to him. I see the brightness in his eyes. It’s not like before when they were dull, his features monotone. He’s remembering, even though Crane said he wouldn’t remember anything. He looks down at my swollen abdomen. He may not be himself, his body trying to flush out whatever Crane gave him. But he knows what I look like pregnant, he experienced it with Lina.
“You’re pregnant?” he asks.
I try to skew the conversation away from me. “You have a son now, Ian.” He looks to the dark haired boy standing behind me, selecting from the glasses of water. “No... Over there.” I redirect him, pointing to the fair haired toddler with pale skin and high arched nose. He’s not hard to miss. He’s the spitting image of Ian.
“What happened? Who are these people?” he asks me. There is confusion in his voice, shakiness. A far cry from the confident man I married so long ago. I want to tell him about Crane, blame it all on Crane. But that will just put Ian at risk. Crane is controlling him right now. The only difference is Ian is not of sound mind to defend himself. And I have to protect Ian. I promised myself I would protect him. The stories of Crane will have to wait.
“You were assigned a new partner and required to… to reproduce,” I tell him.
“Then who is that behind you?” he points to one of the new children.
“It’s one of the Sovereign children, Lex.”
“But you’re pregnant,” he points to my abdomen. “Is it ours?”
“No.” I shake my head, looking to the floor, feeling truly ashamed. Perhaps, he’s already begun putting the pieces together.
“No?” I see the change in his expression. The anger, the hurt, the confusion.
“You moved on? Whose child is that?”
“Adam's.” I realize he has no idea who Adam is. “He is the Volker District Sovereign. I'm sure you will meet him soon.” It’s strange that Ian is the first person I’ve admitted it to, who the father is.
He takes his wedding band off. I am amazed that he still has it on, after all this time. I wait for him to throw it, like he's done in all my nightmares. But instead he looks at it, longingly, and then places it in his pocket.
“I'm so sorry, Ian. I never wanted this for us. I had to move on to protect Lina. And I had to protect you from Crane.”
Ian doesn’t respond. He just stands in front of me, staring, trying to make sense of it all. I catch Sam’s eye from across the room. He has an expression of surprise, probably from seeing me speaking to Ian. I motion for him to take Lina away. I don’t want her to see Ian like this.
I watch as Sam walks Lina to the far side of the room, and at the same time Crane walks up beside Ian.
“Well, isn’t this nice,” Crane says with a smirk.
“Sure is,” I tell him.
“Come, Ian, I have some people for you to meet.” Crane leads Ian away.
“You shouldn’t let him get to you.” I find Alexander at my side.
“That’s pretty impossible,” I tell him. How could I not be affected by finding my lost husband standing in front of me, asking me who’s child I’m pregnant with?
“Crane lies, sometimes,” Alexander shrugs. He drinks the last of his water then stares at the ice cubes. I bet he’s wishing there were something stronger in his glass, like bourbon.
“You all lie,” I tell him as I walk away, headed to find Lina and get home. This party’s over for me.
Adam never said a word to me. I caught him, more than a few times, watching me from the corners of the room. He ventured a little closer when Ian found me in the crowd, but never interrupted our conversation.
Having both of them in the same room was more confusing than anything I’ve ever experienced. I’m sure Crane was enjoying himself, watching it all unfold.
I take the gauzy, blue dress off and hang it in my small closet. I pull on a pair of pajamas and head to my office. The girls have been sleeping for a few hours, exhausted from the day. I let them dance around in their fancy dresses before bed.
I load up the data. Curious.
Having Adam and Ian in the same room got me thinking, wondering about what we created.
Since Adam has obviously given up on me, I pull his data and place it next to the female Volker I saw him speaking with. The jeweler. It only takes a few moments for me to see the result. A perfect match, the perfect diversity. My heart drops. He still has a chance with someone else. He could move on with her, and it would be acceptable within the guidelines of the District.
Then, I do something I know I shouldn’t. But I can’t help myself. I’m too curious. What do I have to lose anyway? I’m already pregnant. I’ve already pushed him away. I line up Adam’s genetic data with mine. I close my eyes before reviewing the final results, afraid. I take a few deep breaths and let my eyes open, focusing on the screen before me. It’s unbelievable. An even more perfect match.
CHAPTER eighteen
“Andie?” Dr Akiyama has called this time. For a moment I think, I haven’t I’ve talked on the phone as much in my entire life as I have since I came here. “There is a situation at the hospital. I need you to come down here.”
“A situation like the last situation?” I ask. Last time he asked me to go there, they tattooed the children.
“No. This is something different,” he tells me. “This is important.”
“How important?”
“It’s Morris.” His voice drops a few octaves.
I guess I should go.
I wait at the gate for my Volker escort. Elvis gave me a ration of shit for taking his vehicle and venturing out on my own the day of the tattooing. Since then he’s hidden his keys. I’ve been unable to find them. Not that it hasn’t stopped me from searching each time he heads out to the fields.
They’ve been sending Volker escorts at random, never the same one. I wonder who will be my Volker today? I hear the creak of the gate, someone opening it. And I’m not prepared when I see Adam standing on the other side, waiting for me. It takes me a moment of standing there with my mouth hanging open, staring at him. He let his beard grow in, just a little. He must be trying to hide the tired look on his face but I can see it still. And I know how he feels from months without sleep. Worrying about the future. What you’ve done, what’s going to come next. It takes him a while but his eyes meet mine, for only a moment, before he glances at the waiting SUV. I leave the Pasture and get in the vehicle where I wait, watching as Adam closes the gate and walks back to get in the driver’s seat.
Why did they send him? Of all people, Adam. Now I have to sit here in silence, wanting to talk, wanting to apologize, wanting him to pull me into his arms. But I know he won’t. It’s been weeks since he showed up in the middle of the night, drunk, and I turned him away. I told him to stay away.
I pull my sweater tighter
around me, trying to hide my belly and stare out the window as he drives in silence. The tension in the vehicle is thick, making it hard to breathe. I revert to counting things on the side of the road as he drives just like I used to. It helps control my thoughts, it helps keep me sane. There’s the old signs, trees, houses that we pass. I count everything and anything, to numb my mind during the drive.
I follow Adam as he leads me to the fifth floor of the hospital to a room with an open door and Volker guarding the hallway. When I enter I am surprised to see Morris lying on the hospital bed.
“Andromeda,” he waves me over to him, his voice weak.
“What’s wrong?” I ask as I sit in the chair next to him. It wasn’t that long ago when I was the one lying in the bed and Morris had come to visit me.
“Oh, it’s just another hurdle for us to clamber over.” He smiles, raising his hand and placing it over mine. I notice it wobbles and shakes midair.
“We have a lot to talk about.” He raises his other hand, motioning to Adam, who is still standing in the doorway. “Close the door, please.” After we hear the click from the latch he turns back to me, staring into my eyes for a long time.
“You’re sick?” I ask.
“Yes.” He nods his head, closing his eyes. “I wanted to wait a little longer before we had this discussion, but I fear there is not much more time and you need to be prepared.”
“Prepared for what?”
“For what happens next…” He erupts into a fit of coughing. I reach to his bedside table, to the cup with a straw and pour water into it, holding it out for him to drink.
Morris sips at the water, and then continues. “Certain people were pulled from society. Just before the bombings. Doctors, teachers, athletes, and the best in their field, all those who have been making positive impacts on humanity. Their families had been pulled too, when there was time. Unfortunately some may have to move on without their loved ones. There wasn’t time to collect everyone. There was the threat of exposure, someone found out and was about to release information about everything we were planning.” I think back to what Adam told me, about his contact being shot and dying. “If they survive the wreckage and find one of the hidden Districts they will be allowed in. Otherwise they will have to fend for themselves in the wreckage that was once the United States.”
The Phoenix Project Series: Books 1-3: The Phoenix Project, The Reformation, and Revelation Page 41